by Erica Lee
Nana looked between both of us and a frown formed on her face, then she patted the chair next to her.
“Ok girls. I don’t know what’s going on, but this needs to stop.”
She turned to me and put a hand on my shoulder. “I know you’re not really sick,” she accused, then turned her attention to Adrienne. “And you, young lady. I know you have been working extra hours to avoid being home.”
Neither of us said anything so nana continued to talk. “I ignored what was going on all week because I wanted you to try to work it out on your own. But it doesn’t seem like that is going to happen. Listen, I don’t know what happened when you two went ice skating, but I don’t believe it’s anything that can’t be resolved. You are two strong girls who have both made it through some very hard times at such a young age. You both handle adversity much differently, but you’re much more alike than either of you would like to realize. Just remember that.”
Nana reached out her arms to us. “Now come here. I need a hug from both of my girls.”
She took us both in her arms and while she was holding us, Adrienne looked over at me and mouthed the words I’m sorry. I smiled and mouthed me too.
The rest of the day we were too busy helping nana to talk much. We did play Christmas music and I was able to get Adrienne to sing and dance a little.
Around 4:00, people started arriving at the house and by 4:30 it seemed like the whole town was there. A few of my old high school friends who still lived in town even showed up. I was a little embarrassed to see them since I hadn’t kept in touch with anyone since moving to LA and was surprised to realize that they were friends with Adrienne. I guess this shouldn’t have surprised me though since she was the same age as them and had been living in town for the past 6 years.
I quickly picked up where I left off with them though and no one seemed to blame me for my disappearing act. I spent the next few hours getting updated on their lives and telling them about my life in LA. Everyone, except for Adrienne, seemed impressed as I told them about the nightclubs I went to and the celebrities I had run into while doing random jobs. I found myself strangely disappointed that I wasn’t able to impress her. It was probably because I liked being the center of attention and she wasn’t giving into that.
As the night was winding down, nana asked Adrienne and I to run to the kitchen to get the trays with cookies and milk on them to give to the guests. We both arrived at the doorway to the living room at the same time and simultaneously motioned for the other person to go. We both started to walk at the same time and bumped shoulders, unable to make it through. When we started to laugh, nana looked up at us and a big smile spread across her face. Then her eyes moved up above us. When I tilted my head up to see what she was looking at, I noticed that we were standing under the mistletoe. I started questioning in my mind when that had been put there when I heard nana clearing her throat.
I looked over to see her walking toward us. “Oh look who got caught under the mistletoe. Let me take these trays from you both so you can partake in the Christmas tradition of the mistletoe kiss!”
I looked over at Adrienne who looked completely horrified to be under the mistletoe with me. I would have felt a little hurt by the look on her face, but I was pretty sure I had the same look on mine. I started to shake my head to protest when nana spoke up.
“Oh come on and just do it. It’s a harmless, friendly kiss. I’ve been waiting all night for two people to end up under this darn mistletoe and if anyone here has a problem with it being two girls, then they don’t belong at my house. Now don’t let an old lady down.”
I looked back at Adrienne who now had a shy smile on her face and I could have sworn I saw the slightest bit of blush as well. She leaned closer to whisper to me.
“You know as well as I do that there is no getting out of this, so we might as well get it over with. It will make nana happy.”
I nodded my head in agreement and closed my eyes. I let my hands fall awkwardly to my sides as I leaned closer to Adrienne. I was surprised to feel Adrienne’s hands on my hips right before our lips touched. The kiss was over almost as soon as it started, but the feeling of Adrienne’s lips stayed on mine and I also felt it in the pit of my stomach. It was a good thing her hands were on my hips or else I might have collapsed.
That was the most innocent kiss I had shared with someone since nana had made me kiss Bobby Jones under the mistletoe when we were both 5. But somehow it still felt like the best of my life. A kiss had never made me weak in the knees and there I was barely able to stand on my own.
I looked into Adrienne’s eyes, wondering how she would react if I leaned in and kissed her again. My thoughts were interrupted by a thunderous applause and I suddenly remembered where we were. I turned to see all the guests hooping and hollering. I was hoping no one noticed how much the kiss had affected me. Just to be sure, I turned and did a bow, making a joke out of the situation.
I turned back to Adrienne to see her shaking her head at me. It’s a good thing I had been shaken from the moment I had been having, because she probably would have slapped me if I tried to kiss her again. But I couldn’t help but wonder if just maybe there was a chance that she had felt something too. No. Who was I kidding? There was no way she had.
Chapter 10: Adrienne
Magical - like seeing the lights on the Christmas tree for the first time of the season; Coming down on Christmas morning to find a gift that you never expected waiting underneath the tree; Sitting by the fire sipping hot chocolate after being outside in the cold for hours. That’s how it felt kissing Layla. Even though our lips had barely even touched, it was still the best kiss of my life. Granted, given my history with girls, I didn’t have a ton to compare it to. But it was hard to believe that a kiss could get much better than that. I had to shake those feelings though. It was clear that they were one sided when Layla bowed after we kissed like it had been some sort of performance. Of course she didn’t feel anything. She lived in LA for God’s sake and was a bartender in one of the gayest areas in the country. She definitely had more experience than a girl who spent the past 6 years living in a 2,000 person town with her now best friend who happened to be 75 year old woman.
Still when she bowed, I couldn’t help but laugh. It was cute and silly. I was starting to realize that all the things that annoyed me about Layla were also the things that made her so adorable. It was a confusing concept so I decided not to think into it too much.
Instead, I spent the rest of the party focused on socializing with the guests that I hadn’t had a chance to speak to yet and starting to clean up. I did my best to avoid an awkward run in with Layla since I still wasn’t sure what to say to her. That became impossible though once the last of the guests said their goodbyes and left the house. Layla plopped down on the couch and patted the cushion next to her.
When I sat down, I noticed that she scooted closer to me rather than farther away. She put her hand on my shoulder and smiled over at me. “I thought you deserved a break after how hard you worked all day.”
I gave her an appreciative smile, but still wasn’t sure what to say. Before I had the chance to think of anything, she butt in. “I hope that little kiss under the mistletoe didn’t make you too uncomfortable. I know my nana can be a bit much at times, but she means well.”
She hesitated then added, “But I guess you already knew that.”
I let out a laugh, trying not to show how uncomfortable I felt. “It’s no big deal,” I lied. “Just two friends doing whatever it takes to make nana Harvey happy.”
As if she knew she was being talked about, nana Harvey walked into the room at that very moment. When she saw us sitting on the couch together, her grin grew wider. What was that all about? I guess she was just happy we were finally getting along.
I pointed to the spot on the couch left next to me. “Sit down nana Harvey. Tells us about what is on the schedule for tomorrow. If I remember correctly, the three of us are taking a carriage ride through t
own, right?”
Nana Harvey sat down beside me and shook her head. “I’m afraid I can’t make it my sweethearts. I have way too much to do around the house. But you two should still go.”
Before I could say anything, Layla began to talk. “No nana. You love carriage rides. We can reschedule it for a time that works better for you.”
“Absolutely not. I want you girls to enjoy this. Plus you two need a chance to talk alone, just in case there is anything else that needs to be worked out between the two of you. I don’t need any tension at Christmas.”
We both shut our mouths, again realizing that there was no changing nana Harvey’s mind once she made it up. I couldn’t help but get excited for the time alone with Layla. I still felt guilty about the things I had said to her and wanted the chance to apologize fully. Plus, at this point, even the thought of being close to her sent a bolt of excitement through my body. Hopefully she wasn’t dreading the fact that she had to spend the day alone with me.
Chapter 11: Layla
I awoke early on Sunday morning, excited about the day ahead of me. Even though thinking about the kiss had kept me up most of the night, I still felt energized to start my day. I quickly got showered and ready and was shocked when I got downstairs and realized that I was ready before Adrienne.
I saw the surprise on Adrienne’s face too when she finally made her way downstairs and realized that I was waiting for her. I smiled over at her and pointed toward the kitchen.
“I made coffee if you want any. Don’t worry, I didn’t add any cream or sugar yet so enjoy that all natural taste.”
She stuck her tongue out at me, then headed into the kitchen. A few minutes later, she returned, bundled up from head to toe.
I stood from my spot on the couch. “Ready to go?” I asked.
She lifted an eyebrow at me. “Is that all you’re wearing? You do realize you’re not in LA anymore, right?”
I looked down at my outfit. Sure, the jacket was a bit light, but I had spent plenty of winters in Pennsylvania and could handle a little cold.
“Yeah, I’ll be good. Don’t worry about me. I’m tough.”
She rolled her eyes, then grabbed a blanket from the hall closet. “Just incase,” she said with a wink.
The carriage was waiting outside for us when we walked out the door. We climbed in and began our trip around town and I quickly realized I wasn’t as tough as I thought. I tried to hide it from Adrienne so she didn’t realize she was right, but the chattering of my teeth gave me away.
She smiled and draped the blanket over both of us. I opened my mouth to protest, but she cut me off. “Don’t try to lie to tell me you’re fine. We haven’t been out here for even 5 minutes and your lips are already completely purple.”
I couldn’t help but think about how a kiss from her would be the perfect way to warm them up, but quickly shook those thoughts from my head. Adrienne said it herself last night. It was just two friends trying to make nana Harvey happy. She didn’t have to find out just how happy that kiss had also made me.
My thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of Adrienne taking my hands into hers. “Sorry. Your hands are freezing. I thought they could use some warming up.”
My hands certainly were warming up. My whole body felt warm from Adrienne’s touch. I didn’t know what to say so I just sat and enjoyed having Adrienne close to me. After a few minutes of silence, Adrienne looked over at me.
“I just want you to know that I really am truly sorry about what I said the other day. I was completely overstepping my boundaries and it was inappropriate for me to act like I understand anything about your life.”
I squeezed her hands that were still wrapped around mine and smiled over at her. “It’s honestly fine. We both said things that we shouldn’t have. I think what made it so hard to hear was that some of the things you said were so true and no one ever called me out on it before. So, I got defensive.”
“Whether it’s true or not though, it’s really none of my business and I want you to know that it won’t happen again.”
I looked up at the sky and thought about everything that had happened over the past 12 years. As I watched the clouds above, I felt a pull to open up to Adrienne. I hadn’t opened up to anyone since my parents’ death, not even nana, but something about sitting close to Adrienne on this carriage ride made me want to spill my heart to her.
“I was in the car, you know.”
Adrienne gave me a confused look as though she hadn’t expected me to talk and therefore didn’t process what I said.
“The accident. The one that took my parents. I was in the car too. I’m not sure how much nana told you.”
Adrienne turned so she was looking straight into my eyes. “Layla, I had no idea. Nana Harvey told me that there was an accident, but she never went into the details. I’m not sure what to say. I’m so sorry.”
I shook my head to try to motion that she didn’t need to say anything. I didn’t expect her to have some magic words. Words couldn’t change what I went through. At this point, all I needed was for her to listen.
“It was my junior year in high school. It was New Year’s Eve, just a few weeks before I turned 17. I went to dinner with my parents and we were on the way home so I could go to a party with some friends. I was being a brat and took the front seat. My dad insisted that my mom sit behind him in the car so she could reach up and hold his hand from behind. They were always doing cute stuff like that, which drove me nuts at the time. All of a sudden a drunk driver ran a red light and hit my parents’ side of the car. The car started flipping and all I could hear was screeching tires and screaming. Then suddenly it was silent. That was the worst part. The loud sounds were scary, but the silence is what keeps me up at night.”
I paused for a minute to catch my breath and to try to will myself not to cry. Unfortunately, I felt a few tears fall from my eyes. Adrienne took one of her hands from mine and wiped the tears off of my face.
“There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t question why it wasn’t me. It could have just as easily happened on my side of the car. Or I could have been sitting in the back instead of my mom. My parents were the greatest people in the world. Sometimes I don’t feel like I deserve to be here if they can’t be.”
The look on Adrienne’s face made me feel like I could start crying all over again, but not from sadness. She had such a sincere compassionate look in her eyes that it made all of my emotions swell inside of me. I couldn’t remember anyone ever looking at me like that my whole life. She squeezed my hands and I could have sworn she was trying not to cry.
“Please don’t say that,” she begged me. “There is a reason you are still here. That wasn’t your time to go and I know for a fact that given the choice, your parents would have wanted you to be the one to survive. And for what it’s worth, I’m so glad you’re here. I feel lucky to be getting to know you right now.”
A small smile crossed her face and she added, “Even if you are super messy and quite annoying at times.”
I stuck my tongue out at her, then pulled her into a hug. “Thank you Adrienne. Seriously. I’ve never opened up to anyone about that and I’m glad it could be you. You’re easy to talk to. And you were right about LA. I was running away. This town used to have so many good memories for me. I never wanted to leave. Then my parents died and all of the happy memories became sad. All I ever wanted growing up was to take over the town businesses from my family. I was never planning on going to college because anything I needed to know about running a business had already been taught to me by them. Then my parents passed away and I graduated high school and had no idea what I was supposed to do. I couldn’t imagine stepping into all those stores and restaurants and not seeing them there. So I bought a 1-way ticket to LA and never looked back. I do regret missing my pap’s funeral and I hate that I don’t get to see nana as much as I would like, but I don’t regret going to LA. I was so sad after my parents died. I couldn’t handle it. I needed the change t
o survive.”
Adrienne looked into my eyes like she was searching for something deep inside of me. “And are you happy in LA?”
I looked to the sky, trying to figure out my answer. The question was a lot more complicated than it would seem. I looked at Adrienne and shrugged my shoulders. “I’m numb in LA. And that’s a whole heck of a lot better than being sad.”
Adrienne’s face contorted like she wasn’t satisfied with my answer. She snuggled closer to me under the blanket, then sighed. “I’m glad you’re not sad. But you deserve more than that. You deserve to be happy.”
I smiled at her and nuzzled my head onto her shoulder. “I’m happy right now.”
She smiled back at me. “I am too.”
Chapter 12: Adrienne
I found myself getting very disappointed as the carriage ride was coming to an end. Layla and I had been so engulfed in our conversation, that I didn’t realize just how close we were sitting. I was holding Layla’s hands in mine, we were snuggled up against each other under the blanket, and her head was laying on my shoulder. As soon as our conversation ended, I became very aware of our nearness and could barely breathe. I found myself wishing more and more that she would tilt her head up and kiss me again. There was no way that was going to happen though. Layla was only sitting so close to me because she was an idiot who hadn’t worn a hat or gloves and needed the body heat. Plus, she was probably just caught up in the moment and needed to feel close to someone. Even if she did feel a little something, sharing another kiss would only complicate things. She would be back in LA in a few weeks.
I was shaken from my thoughts by Layla moving away from me. When I looked over at her, I realized that the carriage had come to a stop by the Harvey Cafe. Layla nodded toward the cafe. “How would you feel about getting some hot chocolate and then walking back to the house? It’s not too far and I could use the exercise after all of the food nana has been feeding us.”
