by Nick McNeil
“Sorry, I’m getting sidetracked.” Bertly cleared his throat. “For most creatures, mammoth blood is highly poisonous; however, for a lot of the men in my family…when we drink it…the blood works as a…how do you put it?” Bertly tapped his finger on his chin as he stared off into space. He couldn’t compare it to anything else.
“It’s better than the greatest potion in the world,” Edfrid interjected. “No elixir is like it.”
“You drink mammoth blood?” Roderick screamed.
Bertly glanced back at him and shrugged.
“That’s right,” Edfrid said.
Devdan picked up his pace from the back of the group until he came within close range of Bertly and his father. “I am still not sure I understand how it works, sir.”
“The truth is, if you can survive drinking the mammoth blood, the blood will cooperate with your body,” Bertly replied.
“I used to look like Bertly. After I survived the ceremony, I was left with the body I have now,” Edfrid added.
Bertly pulled a long piece of hair off the cuff of his shirt and dropped it on the grass. “We are all naturally tall in this family, but the reason my father looks like he is half giant is because…well, he drank mammoth blood and survived.”
Polly slapped a hand over her mouth and shook her head.
Devdan pressed his finger over his lips. “Extraordinary.”
“Incredible, sir,” Roderick said. “Terrifying and disgusting, but absolutely incredible.” Roderick started flexing his arms. “Why don’t you drink the mammoth blood, sir?”
The color drained from Bertly’s face. “You see, Roderick.” He took a deep breath. “Every so often, a man in our family doesn’t survive the ceremony. While we are the only ones we know of who do survive, there is still a risk of it going wrong.”
Roderick looked down and started kicking the dirt road the group was walking along. “I see, sir.”
“Only someone who truly desires to be a warden and the ruler of Stonebank follows through with the ceremony,” Bertly said.
Edfrid walked closer to Bertly and put him in a headlock. “I can’t wait for you to perform the ceremony, Bertly. Governing Stonebank isn’t meant for me.” Edfrid released Bertly and ruffled his hair, making his braids come half undone. “You will make a much better leader. Only a handful of years until you’re done with the Academy.”
Bertly undid his messed-up hair and retied it. He looked away from his father and gulped. “Right, sir. It’s every man’s honor.” Bertly closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he marched ahead, toward the exit of Stonebank.
The group came upon the triangular opening they had flown through when they arrived. At the edge of the opening was a steep drop-off—the side was so flat it could not be climbed. Just to the right of the entrance was a large wooden basket with an intricate pulley system. “Everyone climb aboard.” Edfrid gestured toward the crate. The group shuffled into the wooden container except for Roderick, who froze at the entrance.
“Wait, sir,” Roderick exclaimed, his eyes shifting about as if he were calculating the exact dimensions of the crate. “We have to go in that thing?”
Edfrid cocked his head. “Of course. How else will we get down?” He chuckled and shook his head. “We haven’t lost anyone in years.” Edfrid reached out and pulled Roderick into the wooden elevator. He locked the door behind him and then began to crank a giant wheel placed in the middle of the basket, which made the wooden elevator descend the mountain.
XV
Edfrid turned the wheel at a slow pace, carrying the wooden elevator farther down the mountain with every turn. Bertly’s vast view of Noskar was gradually obstructed by the treetops rooted at the base of the foothills. He looked down toward Roderick, who stood motionless, pale faced, with his arms glued to his sides. Bertly considered soothing him; however, truth be told, he preferred Roderick’s silence over his comfort. Edfrid continued to crank the massive wooden wheel, and it wasn’t long before the group arrived at the bottom of the mountain.
When the crate made contact with the soil, Roderick scuffled past everyone and burst through the gate of the wooden basket. As his feet touched the ground, he let out a huge sigh, as though he had been holding his breath the entire way. Roderick’s hands rested on his knees while he panted, standing along a dirt pathway, which weaved through a small forest and ended just at the feet of the Eastern Noskar Mountains.
“Boy, if being taken down one mountain has you winded, how do you plan on climbing up several?” Edfrid beckoned.
Roderick turned and looked toward Edfrid as the rest of the group shuffled out of the wooden elevator. “How many mountains do we have to climb?” Small beads of sweat formed at the top of his forehead. “I thought we were just navigating through them.”
Bertly rolled his eyes. “Roderick, you must have assumed that when I mentioned navigating through the mountains; I had also implied we would have to climb some.”
“Um…no, sir. I did not assume that.” Roderick’s eyes grew round and his cheeks turned quite red. “Don’t most people take hiking trails when they go through the mountains?”
Edfrid and Bertly roared with laughter. “Hiking trails?” Edfrid cried. “In the mountains?”
“We do not have hiking trails in the Noskar Mountains. Everything grows much too quick in these parts.” Bertly placed his hand on Roderick’s shoulder and crouched down to eye level.
“Plus, it wouldn’t make much sense for a hidden cave to have a pathway leading directly too it, now would it?” Bertly raised his eyebrows. “Wouldn’t make for much of a secret.” Bertly stood back up and began walking along the dirt road toward the small forest.
Roderick nodded his head and followed close behind. “If this cave is such a secret, then how come you two were able to find it?”
“Well, I don’t actually know where it is specifically. It’s been many years since I’ve been.” Bertly adjusted the lapels on his cloak. “My father is the one who discovered it. He took me to the entrance many times when I was younger.” Bertly shook his head. “But we never went inside.” He peered toward Edfrid. “How did you ever find that cave, Father?”
Edfrid coughed and choked on his own spit. “Oh, um.” He seemed startled. Bertly had never seen him stumble over his words before. “It was so long ago. I hardly remember.” Edfrid cleared his throat. “You are the only folk I am showing other than Bertly.”
“If you do not mind me asking, sir,” Devdan interjected, “how do you know for certain that the cave is the Dragon’s Crypt?”
Edfrid looked at Devdan blankly.
“Trust me, Devdan.” Bertly chuckled. “You will know once you see it.”
“Have you ever heard the human phrase, ‘stepping into the dragon’s mouth’?” Polly asked.
Devdan’s eyes lit up. “Yes, actually I have.”
“Well, that is where the phrase comes from. But I will leave it at that.” Polly held up her hands. “I have never been there myself. I’ve only heard stories from Bertly about what the entrance looks like.”
Devdan pushed his finger against his lips and squinted his eyes. He appeared to be thinking, perhaps considering what had just been said.
The group arrived at the entrance of the small woodlands. The ground was covered in mushrooms, and the trees were spread thinly about. When Bertly peered straight back, he could see the mountains through the trees. Drizzle birds sang in the trees as small mice with fuzzy tails and pointed ears scurried across the ground.
“Is that an elf mouse?” Roderick asked. “I didn’t know you had those in Noskar.”
“Oh, yes.” Edfrid crinkled his nose and snarled. “Those vile creatures have made their way across all of Pangea.”
Polly clapped her hands. “I think they’re rather cute.”
“I used to have two of them as pets,” Roderick added. “Until they mated and had two dozen babies.” He looked down at the ground. “Then my parents m
ade me get rid of them.”
Polly rubbed Roderick on the back. “I am so sorry for your loss.” Bertly gave a half smile, as he couldn’t tell if Polly was humoring or mocking Roderick.
As the group navigated the forestry, small continuous popping noises came from the snapping of stems and crushing of mushroom caps. A wide variety of different-colored mushrooms covered the sides of the trees. There were more shapes and sizes than the mind could think up, and Bertly felt as though he were walking inside a rainbow.
A loud scream echoed through the forest. Roderick and Devdan came to a screeching halt, and Bertly and Polly watched as the two looked in every direction, trying to determine the source of the scream. Bertly, Polly, and Edfrid continued through the forest as another eerie scream filled the air.
Devdan drew his sword. “Ma’am,” he yelled, “are you not worried about that screaming?” Another scream reverberated through the forest. Roderick jumped behind Devdan.
Polly stopped walking and turned around. “My apprentice, I appreciate your concern.” She placed her hand on her hip. “But you really are not from around here. That noise you hear? That comes from screaming peppers.” Polly gestured with her head for him to continue walking. “They are the official plant of Noskar.”
Roderick’s palms were pressed against his head, and his fingers were wrapped around his ears. “That seems like an awful choice.”
Bertly and Edfrid stopped abruptly and jerked their heads toward Roderick.
“I mean…what a unique choice.” A flush crept up his face.
Bertly and Edfrid grunted and focused their attention back on the trail.
“They may be quite loud,” Polly explained, “but you should really try eating a few of them.” She held her finger in the air. “Your whole body will be warm for hours. They are quite coveted during the wintertime. A pepper farmer is one of the highest-paying jobs in Noskar.”
Roderick flinched as another scream riffled through the air. “I can see why.”
“You know,” Edfrid bellowed, “maybe a stop at Lemon’s Pepper Farm isn’t the worst idea.”
“Hmm.” Bertly tilted his head and pressed his lips together. “I like your thinking. The temperature of the mountains at night goes well below freezing. We could use the extra warmth.”
“Aye.” Edfrid nodded.
“How cold, sir?” Roderick squealed.
Bertly gave Roderick a dismissive wave. “After a few screaming peppers, you will be fine, my apprentice.”
They emerged through the last few trees in the forest, which revealed a large stone cottage resting in a grass field. The home had tall and wide front windows, and a tall wooden fence that extended out from the sides. The fence formed a box shape behind the house and stretched for what appeared to be several acres. Bertly walked on his tiptoes to try to peer over the fence; however, he was still not tall enough. He presumed that if he jumped, he would be able to see over, but it was not worth the effort.
Bertly glanced at Edfrid. “I hope you brought your coin purse. We spent our last coin on worms.”
Edfrid patted his sides and searched his coat and pant compartments. He stopped walking and started searching through his pockets frantically. He peered at Bertly. “It seems I have forgotten my pouch.”
Bertly slapped his hand against his forehead. “Aren’t you the king?” He started to massage his temples. “Couldn’t you just command him to give you the peppers?”
Edfrid stropped in his tracks, grabbed Bertly by the shoulder, and looked him in the eye. “I am not that kind of ruler. I do not knock on my people’s doors and demand their belongings. This is a land of free people.”
Bertly stepped back and gave his father a small smile. “Let me get this straight.” Bertly pressed his fingertips together. “You won’t demand he give you the peppers because that is morally wrong, but…you’re okay with tricking and stealing from him?”
Edfrid stroked his beard and nodded. “I suppose you have a point.”
“We could just ask him for some,” Polly interjected.
“Not a chance,” Bertly and Edfrid said together as they shook their heads. “Would never work.”
Edfrid tapped his chin. “Aha,” he shouted. “I have an idea.”
***
Bertly, Roderick, Polly, and Devdan stood at the back fence of the farm. For the moment, the peppers’ screaming had stopped, and the farm was silent. Bertly curved his body around the corner of the fence and craned his neck to better watch the front of Lemon’s house. Edfrid stood on the porch and knocked on the front door.
“This is a terrible plan,” Devdan mumbled.
“Oh, it is absolutely awful. But I have learned over the years to always go along with my father’s plans.” Bertly turned his head. “Somehow—no matter the situation—he always finds a way out of it.” He looked back toward Lemon’s house.
Stepping out of the cottage was a short man with blond hair. From the back, he could’ve been mistaken for a child, but from the front his wrinkles gave him away. Even across the entire farm, Bertly could see the old man’s crinkled skin.
“What’s he saying?” Roderick asked. Bertly remained silent, keeping his attention on his father and Lemon. “What’s he saying, sir?” Roderick repeated.
“I am not answering your stupid question, Roderick,” Bertly snapped. “You’re the elf, why are you asking me?”
Roderick gasped. “I’m sorry, sir. But that is just a stereotype. We elves—”
Bertly held his hand up to silence Roderick as Edfrid stretched and put his hands behind his head.
“That’s the signal,” Bertly said. Polly and Devdan faced each other and interlocked their hands while Bertly placed each of his feet into their palms.
“Be careful, Bertly. If you startle the peppers, Lemon will know. It isn’t common for more than one or two of them to be screaming at a time,” Polly said as she and Devdan boosted Bertly over the fence.
Bertly scaled the fence and landed firmly on the other side, and Bertly could make out Roderick’s mumbles as soon as he landed. “Wait, if it took two of you to get him over the fence, how is he getting back?”
Bertly shook the comment off, deciding he would be better off worrying about that in a few minutes rather than right that moment.
He pulled a bag from his travel sack and walked to the nearest pepper plant. With their tiny eyes shut and small mouths closed, the red screaming peppers slept like babies. Bertly gently plucked each pepper with as much delicacy as he could, being careful not to wake the sleeping peppers. He was sure to grab enough for everyone to stay warm for over a week. As he turned to head back toward the fence, something caught his eye. Bertly jerked his head.
Resting on the other side of the pepper farm—near Lemon’s back door—was one giant golden pepper. This pepper was the size of a banana, and it hung solo from a single vine, taunting Bertly to come and pick it. Bertly looked at the pepper, then at the fence. The opportunity to enchant something with the golden pepper was an urge the Winter Wizard couldn’t fight off. He knew the others would start wondering what was taking him so long, but he also understood that his father couldn’t carry on a conversation with Lemon for the whole night; no one could.
Bertly’s heart pounded, and he took a deep breath. He looked back and tiptoed toward the golden pepper. He focused on the floor, being sure to step over every twig to avoid making a sound. A small buzzing noise filled the air from the sounds of the sleeping peppers, and Bertly found it almost soothing. He stepped up to the golden pepper and gulped. He opened his travel sack, ready to shove the golden pepper into it and make a break for it if he needed to. He reached out slowly and grabbed the pepper where its stem met the trunk of the plant. He started to break the stem of the pepper, but this one was a light sleeper; its eyelids wiggled, and its lips started to move as Bertly attempted to break it from its vine. Bertly froze as small beads of sweat formed along his hairline, and he remained still u
ntil he was sure that the pepper had gone back to sleep. Bertly let out a small sigh and continued to peel the pepper from the plant trunk.
A small drop of sweat ran down Bertly’s forehead, and from the tip of his nose, the droplet fell and splashed between the eyes of the golden plant. The pepper’s eyelids shot open and it stared through Bertly’s eyes as it would through a window. The pepper let out a debilitating screech, awakening every pepper on the farm. In an instant thousands of peppers were screaming simultaneously.
“Sweet Cordelia,” Bertly shouted. “They can probably hear you back at the Academy.” Bertly shoved the golden pepper into his travel sack and sealed it shut, bringing its noise to an end. However, there was still the issue of the entire farm of peppers screaming.
Bertly dashed for the fence. Several options ran through his mind. He considered creating dirt stairs from the ground, similar to the wall his master had created at the Decomposite, but he had no clue how Alestar had done that. Bertly was nearing the wooden fence. His next best idea was to burn a hole straight through, but again, he had to dismiss the idea. It would take him far too long to create enough fire to burn a hole large enough to squeeze through—if he already had a source, then he would stand a chance.
Bertly was only two steps from the fence, and there was not enough time to think up a plan. On instinct, he tucked his head into his chest and smashed into the fence shoulder first. The wooden pickets cracked in half, splintering in every direction. Bertly summersaulted across the ground and crashed into Devdan’s legs.
“What happened?” Polly screamed.
“The peppers have gone mad!” Roderick cried.
Devdan grabbed Bertly by the shoulder straps and helped him to his feet. “I don’t know what happened,” Bertly replied as he dusted himself off. “I was delicately picking them, and out of nowhere they went ballistic.”
“Never mind, Bertly.” Polly frowned. “Let’s get out of here.”
Bertly poked his head around the fence to get an update on his father’s situation. As he turned the corner, he saw Edfrid several paces away, sprinting straight at him. His father’s lips were moving, but no one was able to hear him over the screaming peppers. Edfrid waved his arm forward and back. This time Bertly heard his father’s roaring voice.
