NOT SO Beautiful
a bay falls high novel
Jaxson Kidman
Contents
Welcome to
NOT SO Beautiful
Prologue
one
two
three
four
five
six
seven
eight
nine
ten
eleven
twelve
thirteen
fourteen
fifteen
sixteen
seventeen
eighteen
nineteen
Want more #bfh?
#bfh… #hch… and now #bc
More from Jaxson
Welcome to
I wanted to slap him.
But I didn’t.
Instead, I kissed him.
* * *
Written by Jaxson Kidman
NOT SO Beautiful
First they choose you.
Then they use you.
Next they lose you...
My name is still Belle.
But now they all want me.
Who is they?
"Them"
Uly. Hil. Ash.
The worst of BFH and the ones who bring out the worst in me.
I’m not even stuck in the middle because the three of “Them” hate one another.
Yet they’re not supposed to.
They’re supposed to be best friends… close like brothers… but their secrets - including me as a secret - have ruined everything.
Something is about to happen within Bay Falls High… and it’s not supposed to be my problem.
But it’s too late to turn back now.
Prologue
(everything I know…)
what i felt,
what i saw,
where i went,
what i lost.
what did you think would happen?
that it would be perfect?
that nothing could go wrong here?
it’s not even worth finding words
that rhyme
to tell you that i’m
falling in love with
the way
that i hate you…
I didn’t need to take anything to actually take something.
Confused?
Right.
What was left in the shattered glass, trashed papers, and a line of questions that were going to end up being spit right in my face was the something stuck in my mind.
The word used danced around like a little girl in a sundress in the rain.
Hint - I was that little girl.
When my mother used to get so mad at me for doing that.
We lived on the second floor of a house with our old, smelly couch right against the window. And I watched as the rain clouds moved in. As long as it wasn’t thunder, it was okay. If there was thunder, there was lightning. And at that time, some dumb ass boy named Thomas told me that he saw someone get hit with a lightning bolt. And it split the person right in half.
But the rain…
The second I saw the first few droplets on the window, I started to jump on the couch.
And I made my move.
I hurried down the loud steps and out the front door.
I stood on the front porch in my sundress and hoped for a good rain.
Because I knew I was going to catch serious hell for what I was about to do.
That good rain came a minute later… and I was on the run.
Outside and in the rain.
Jumping in the smallest of puddles because time was working against me.
Twirling like a song was playing.
Opening my arms and putting my head back, drinking the rain.
I laughed when the rain water hit my eyes.
I shook my head and started to dance again.
My mother caught me… and she yelled.
She yelled from the porch, looking sad.
So I crossed my arms and shook my head.
The rain came down faster.
My mother moved from the porch.
When she got to me, I expected the worst.
But I didn’t expect her to pick me up and dance with me.
If there was a list of good memories, it was small, but that memory was on it.
I heard the smashing crack of thunder and saw my reflection in the window as I kneeled on the daybed. Lightning streaked across the sky, over the ocean, looking beautiful yet terrifying.
Which was exactly what I wanted to be now.
I had no choice but to be that.
I wasn’t in the fucking mood to dance in the fucking rain.
It was time to walk through the fucking storm.
I stepped off the daybed and reached for the baseball bat.
I lit a cigarette and smoked it as I walked through the house.
The rain would have ruined it.
I twirled the baseball bat and knew where I had to go next.
This time I wasn’t going to break a window.
This time it was to break to some bones.
one
“I’m afraid to touch anything here.”
“I’m not,” Sarah said as she walked to the fridge.
She stood and stared at it for a few seconds.
“What’s wrong?” Taylor asked.
Poor Grace was still looking around, her hands gently folded, like she was walking through a museum with ancient and expensive artifacts.
I laughed. “You don’t know how to open it, do you?”
“I can figure it out,” Sarah said.
“There’s no handle?” Taylor asked.
“Rich people don’t do handles,” Sarah said.
Taylor looked at me.
I shrugged my shoulders. “She’s right. That’s the sink right there.”
I pointed to the counter and Taylor tilted her head. “How?”
“I don’t know how… but it is. There’s a faucet and drain. And it’s scary to watch, like you’re going to flood the floor, but it never happens.”
“I can’t be in here,” Grace said. “I feel like my feet are too dirty.”
“Seriously, how do you open this fucking thing?” Sarah asked.
I laughed again. “You have to ask it. Just say ‘Dear Fridge, please open for me so I can get…’ and then say what you want.”
“Really?” Sarah asked.
I nodded. “Yeah.”
I hid my smile the best I could as Sarah stepped back from the fridge. Then she said, “Dear Fridge, please open for me so I can get a drink.”
Nothing happened.
“A drink isn’t specific enough,” I said.
“Wow, this is crazy stuff,” Taylor whispered.
Grace finally moved, standing next to me.
She nudged me with her elbow.
I looked at her and winked.
Sarah was still facing off with the fridge.
“Dear Fridge, please open for me so I can get a drink… of water…”
Nothing happened again.
“What the fuck?” Sarah yelled.
I heard the click-clack of heels on the tiled floor.
Jo appeared in the kitchen, paused, looked around at all of us, and then worked her way around the counter toward me.
She stopped and leaned toward me. “Is that girl talking to the fridge?”
“Yeah,” I whispered back.
“Is she on drugs?”
“No.”
“Anything I need to know here?”
“Not at all,” I whispered to Jo. I eyed her. “You look stunning. Are you going to work?”
&
nbsp; “Don’t worry about me,” she said. “And I appreciate the comment.”
Jo started to walk again and all of us stared at her.
The dress was a crimson red color with a black stripe on each side of the dress. Her hips waved goodbye, left to right, her hair looking like she had gotten it done for prom or a wedding. She smelled amazing - fruity yet powerful.
“That’s the doctor?” Grace asked me.
“That’s Jo,” I said. “Dr. Thornburn.”
“Dr. Jo?” Taylor asked.
I cringed.
Jo froze in place and slowly looked over her shoulder.
The icy look could make the sun shiver.
“What did she just say?” Jo asked.
“Nothing,” I said. “I’ll backhand her mouth later for you, Jo.”
“Dear Fridge…,” Sarah started to say again.
“Oh for fucks sake, use your hand, idiot!” Jo yelled to Sarah.
Jo walked away.
Taylor’s face was pure white.
Grace had her hands folded again.
Sarah’s jaw was on the floor.
And me?
I just laughed.
I showed Sarah how to actually open the fridge.
The bottles of water waiting were the most expensive water any of us had seen before.
I motioned for the backdoor so we could go enjoy the sun, the pool, and the ocean.
As I walked by Taylor, she reached for me. “Are you really going to hit me?”
“I have to,” I said to her. “If I don’t… then Jo…”
“She looked like she wanted to kill me,” Taylor said.
I leaned close to Taylor. “She totally did… and she totally will if you ever call her Dr. Jo again.”
* * *
“This is fucking insane,” Taylor said as she walked into the water. “You’re sure this is okay?”
“Go swim,” I said. “I’ll give you some clothes. I told you to bring a bathing suit.”
“I forgot the bottoms,” she said. “Sorry. At least I’m wearing my top. In case you don’t remember, life is a little crazy back where you used to be from.”
I squinted my eyes.
Fucking bitch.
She peeled her shirt up over her head and tossed it aside.
Her boobs filled her bright green bathing suit top… and then some. She had zero confidence in herself except for her chest. So I couldn’t hate her too much for wearing a size too small, just for effect.
I stepped toward Taylor and towered over her as she stood on the third step down into the pool.
“I heard about your taco baby,” I said.
“So funny,” she said.
“Maybe if you closed your legs once in a while you could catch your breath and figure things out.”
“What’s the fun in that?” Taylor asked. “Like you haven’t been fooling around with all these rich guys, right?”
“I’m good.”
“I’m sure you are,” she said. “Get them to take you to the fanciest places. Buy expensive gifts. Drive them crazy to get some of that trailer park ass…”
We both snorted and laughed.
“That’s horrible to say,” Grace said.
“But she’s right,” I said. “They love it. I’m like a… thing… you know? I’m so different.”
“Wait a second,” Sarah said. “So Taylor is right? You’ve been…”
I shrugged my shoulders.
“Fake, rich slut,” Taylor said.
She walked into the water and Sarah grabbed my wrist. “Hey. Talk to me. You didn’t mention about guys.”
“There are no guys,” I said to Sarah. “You know me. I’m not that…”
I felt my mouth wanting to stop talking. Stop lying.
I wasn’t even sure if I was lying or not.
I hadn’t done anything with Them.
Other than kissing.
But really was kissing three guys that big of a deal?
They all knew about each other. So it wasn’t like I was sneaking around.
Plus, the whole East vs. West thing seemed to be serious enough that Uly and Hil and Ash said they were going to find a way to exist near each other. For my sake. Just as long as I gave to them what they gave to me.
And even that… those lines were drawn in the sand but not crossed yet.
Taylor swam toward the waterfall and cove.
Grace sat down at the edge of the pool and slowly dipped her feet into the water.
“Of course the water is perfect,” she said. “Belle, this place is fucking amazing.”
“I agree,” I said. “But it’s not all a dream here. Believe me.”
“Better than home, right?” Grace asked.
“I guess so.”
Sarah slipped her hand into mine and we walked toward the beach.
Far enough away from the pool but not quite on the sand.
“Okay, so what’s really going on here?” Sarah asked.
“Everything and nothing at once.”
“Meaning?”
“My mother wanted me to leave,” I said. “But… she got a new job and a new man. And when I wouldn’t leave here, she got pissed at me. So now I feel all kinds of amazing guilt over that.”
“What does the doctor think?”
“Jo? She’s… she’s something else. She’s a cold bitch, Sarah. But in a loving way. I don’t know.”
“So why stay?” Sarah asked. “I mean, the house, the pool, the ocean, the comfort… but that’s not you.”
“I have this writing class I love,” I said. “And the woman who runs it… she’s really into what I’m doing. I might have a chance to do something with it.”
“Really? That’s exciting.”
“I just don’t know if I can handle seeing my mother do the same stuff,” I said. “I kind of wanted to go somewhere myself and start over. But I need money to do that. Who would have thought, right? I’m living in a mansion for free but have no money. And going back… I don’t know. Everything with Gray…”
Sarah swallowed hard. “I know it doesn’t mean shit to you. Nor should it. But he feels like shit over it.”
“He should.”
“He does.”
“Good.”
“You kind of… I don’t know, Belle. I blame your mother for it, but you kind of always wanted to have an image, you know?”
“Oh?”
“Nothing bad,” Sarah said. “I never said anything, so maybe it’s my fault too. But you always wanted to be above what your mother was. Which is awesome. I just never understood why you were so worried about… it.”
“It… meaning what happened with Danny.”
“Yeah. You loved him. He loved you. Everyone knows you two were together. So what? You kind of painted yourself as this innocent and pure girl.”
“And now you decide to bring that up? Why does it matter now?”
“It doesn’t,” Sarah said. “I just hate the idea that… you know… that stupid red V on your locker…”
“Stupid?”
“You know what I mean.”
“No, I don’t. What’s stupid about it?”
“I… the whole situation, Belle. That he did that. That you ended up leaving after that happened. I know it was more about your mother. And Gray is such a dick.”
“Why? Is he asking about me?” I asked.
“Not really,” Sarah said. “Forget I said anything. Sorry. I just… I miss having you there every day. But I get why you’re here. And I’m glad we didn’t forget about each other.”
“Yeah, me too,” I said.
There was something off about Sarah.
I opened my mouth to cross that line but then I heard someone sniffle.
Then someone clapped.
Sarah looked over my shoulder and her eyes went wide.
“Please tell me they’re going to start tongue fucking soon.”
I turned my head.
“Who the fuck is that?” Sarah whispered.
/>
I answered with one word.
“Them.”
* * *
Uly and Hil both flicked cigarettes at mine and Sarah’s feet.
Uly took his sunglasses off and hooked them around his necklaces. His messy hair stuck out of the front of his beanie and he nodded to me.
Hil closed in on Sarah and me. His gray eyes burned between us as he slowly curled his lip one second and then changed it into a grin.
“I’m seeing double here,” he said. “And I don’t mind it one bit. I can’t fit the both of you on the back of my motorcycle but there’s plenty of room in my bed.”
Sarah let out a whimpering sound.
“Easy there,” I said to Hil.
Hil showed his hands and stepped back.
I looked at Ash.
He didn’t move an inch.
He was just there.
Long, ink filled arms filling his shirt. His perfect hair. Perfect jaw. Perfect everything. Even his scar was perfect because of the way it looked like a part of his hairline.
“Sarah, this is Uly, Hil, and Ash,” I said.
“Sarah,” Uly said. “Sweet, sweet Sarah.”
“Sexy Sarah,” Hil said.
“Maybe Sloppy Sarah?” Uly asked.
Hil groaned. “I can see that. Probably filthy, dirty, nasty sloppy…”
Ash was still quiet.
Sarah’s face was eight shades of red.
“What are you doing here?” I asked Them.
“Making sure you’re okay,” Ash said, finally speaking.
“Why wouldn’t she be okay?” Sarah asked.
“We just wanted to see her,” Uly said.
NOT SO Beautiful: a bay falls high novel Page 1
