9
Nine
Quinn’s anger had teeth. He was determined to track down Paul Gray — er, P.J. Landis — and have a very long talk with the man. If that talk should happen to end in a screaming match, so much the better.
Even though he knew finding answers on Julia West’s death was his primary concern, he would carve out time to deal with Rowan’s father first. To give himself plausible deniability, though, he stopped in his office to order a few of his guards to watch the Grand Dames and then slid behind his desk and booted up his computer so he could find out where Landis was staying. He wasn’t surprised to find the man in one of the suites. Landis was a relatively famous author. Sure, he wasn’t famous like Keane was famous, but he was hardly an unknown.
By the time Quinn made his way to the room, he was fairly certain what he would say. All that flew out the porthole when the door swung open and the man standing on the other side of the threshold merely slid to the side to allow the security guru entrance.
“I’ve been expecting you.”
“Oh, really?” Quinn didn’t bother keeping the disdain from his voice as he stalked inside the room and glanced around.
The space was homey, notebooks and a computer spread out on the nearby table. There was a blanket draped over the small couch in the living room, and to his utter surprise, there was a stuffed dog sitting on top of it. That seemed like a weird thing for an author to bring on vacation.
“If you’re going to yell, I’m going to get a drink,” Paul said dully, shuffling to the small cabinet in the corner and grabbing a bottle of what Quinn suspected was whiskey. “Want something?”
“It’s barely noon,” Quinn said finally.
“It’s five o’clock somewhere. Isn’t that the saying?”
“I guess, but I’m on the clock. Perhaps you shouldn’t drink either.” Quinn’s tone was dark as he regarded the man who broke his girlfriend’s heart. It took everything he had not to stride across the room and start shaking him until his secrets spilled out.
Paul met Quinn’s gaze, a glass in his hand, and waited an extended beat. Finally, he heaved out a sigh and returned the glass to the cart before walking toward Quinn. “As you like. If you don’t want me to drink, I won’t drink.”
“Thank you.” Quinn sank into one of the chairs. “I appreciate your cooperation.”
“No, you don’t.” Paul’s bitterness was on full display as he took the chair across from Quinn. “You want to kill me. Go ahead and admit it. The truth is written all over your face. You wish I’d stayed away.”
“Actually, that’s the exact opposite of what I was thinking. I wish you’d shown up years ago and not put her through a decade of agony.”
Paul blinked very quickly. “Do you think I wanted to hurt her?”
Quinn held his hands palms out and shrugged. “I don’t know enough about you to answer that with any degree of certainty. I know that Rowan believes the father who raised her, took care of her in the wake of her mother’s death, loved her. I’m not sure who you are, though.”
Paul was thoughtful as he took in Quinn’s ruddy complexion and fiery eyes. Part of him wanted to argue with the man. The other part accepted that he had a right to be furious … and out for retribution. “You love her, don’t you?”
Quinn didn’t hesitate to answer. “More than you will ever know. She’s everything to me.”
“It’s nice that you admit that without restraint.”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
Paul merely sighed at Quinn’s aggressive tone. “You would be surprised at how people react when they’re trying to protect their ego. You, apparently, put your heart on display and don’t fall victim to ego. Even though you’re here to yell at me, I can’t help liking that about you.”
Quinn opted to toss a whole lot of honesty at Paul, whether it made matters worse or not. “I don’t care if you like me. If you were a real father, someone involved in Rowan’s life, I would probably be terrified about the possibility of you not liking me. That’s hardly my concern, though.
“My concern is Rowan,” he continued. “What did you say to her? She’s in her room right now, curled into a little ball and napping. She rarely takes a nap in the middle of the afternoon unless it’s part of a game we’re playing.”
He realized relatively quickly that wasn’t something he should say in front of her father, no matter how angry he was, and hurried to keep talking to cover up for his inadvertent slip. “She’s defeated right now and I don’t like it. She’s never defeated. What did you say to her?”
Paul’s expression was hard to read as he leaned back in his chair and played with the corner of the notebook. He looked momentarily lost, as if life was weighing him down. Quinn almost felt sympathetic, but he wouldn’t allow himself to like the man who broke his girlfriend. It simply wasn’t in his repertoire.
“She’s retreating,” Paul explained quietly. “She did the same thing after her mother died. She escaped into her own head for almost two weeks. It frightened me. I had a lot going on at the time so I didn’t give her the attention she desperately needed to snap out of it. I guess that’s on me.”
“There are so many things that are on you right now I don’t know where to start.”
“Did she tell you any of it?”
“Some.” Quinn repeated Rowan’s story, hitting the high points and allowing the rest to fall by the wayside. It wasn’t important. “I’m not going to lie. She thinks the story is utter crap, but I’ve been wondering if it wasn’t something similar for a long time.”
“Really?” Intrigued, Paul shifted on his chair. “When did Rowan tell you what she could do?”
“Not long after she joined the crew.”
“She trusted you that fast? That’s the opposite of how I taught her to approach things.” Troubled, Paul stroked his chin. “I was always so worried about her when she was a kid I ingrained in her head how important it was for her to make sure that trust was rarely given. She must have broken away from that over the years.”
“No.” Quinn vehemently shook his head. “She still doesn’t trust people. She knows better than simply blurting out her secret to anyone who will listen. What happened with us was ... different.” In truth, he didn’t know how to explain it.
“I don’t know if you believe in destiny, or fate,” he continued. “From the moment I met her, though, I couldn’t stay away. Something about her called to me. I could see she was struggling and wanted to help, but I had my own issues to deal with, including a dead body on the ship.”
“When she finally told you, did you believe her?” Paul was legitimately curious. “I mean ... it would be normal if you didn’t believe her. Most people would think she was nuts for claiming magical abilities.”
“I believed her,” Quinn replied. “At least ... I believed she believed it. The first time she showed me the omen, I wasn’t convinced. I could see the symbol, she pointed it out to me and explained what it meant, but I don’t think I truly understood why she was so worked up.”
“How long did it take you to believe?”
Quinn smiled at the memory. “Not long. I realized she was special right away. The rest seemed to come naturally. We clicked from the start. I wanted to believe her, so I believed her. It wasn’t as difficult as you might imagine.”
“I’m glad for her.” Paul was earnest as he continued to worry the corner of the notebook. “You have no idea how glad I really am. I’ve worried about her over the years. There are nights I lay in bed and stare at the ceiling, terror grabbing me so hard I think it’s possible I may never be able to get on my feet again. I’m glad she has you.”
“Why?” Quinn’s fury was back as he glared at the older man. “Why are you glad she has me? Why did you leave her? Why not take her with you?”
“Because I was afraid,” Paul admitted. “I was working in the dark — and alone — when it came time to plan my escape. I thought I was doing what was best for her. You might not understand
it, I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t, but I was trying to protect her.
“That sounds ridiculously lame in hindsight,” he continued, his fingers kneading at the tension in his forehead as he stared at the table. “I didn’t know there was trouble until they kept coming around. It was as if they expected Rowan to be different.”
Instead of reacting with anger, Quinn heaved out a sigh. “Why didn’t you tell her the truth when she was a kid? I don’t mean when she was eight or something, of course. She wouldn’t have understood what you were saying. When she turned thirteen, though, or fourteen. She could’ve understood what you were saying then.”
“Oh, she would’ve definitely understood it,” Paul agreed. “She would’ve taken every word to heart, disappeared inside herself and shut out the rest of the world. She would’ve cut ties with her friends in case they were spies, never left her mother’s or my sides, and turned into a shell of a human being.”
Quinn worked his jaw, annoyed. “You don’t know that,” he said finally. “She might’ve surprised you.”
“Son, I get that you love my daughter and I’m legitimately happy that’s the case. I’ve done a little research on you in the weeks since you interacted with Nick. I like what I see in your past. You’ll protect Rowan because that’s what you do.”
“Rowan would say that protecting her is the least important thing I do,” Quinn said philosophically. “She would say that talking to her ... and trusting her ... and loving her are the most important things.”
“That’s because she’s always been a dreamer. You and I are realists. We understand what’s really at stake here.”
“Do we?” Quinn wasn’t sure if he should be offended by Paul’s take on things, but he couldn’t stop himself. He wasn’t happy with the man’s blasé attitude. “And, before you get on your high horse and paint me with the same brush you paint yourself, I’m a dreamer, too. Every night I dream about the life Rowan and I are building together and pray that she will get what she needs to be happy.”
“I think we’re getting off on the wrong foot,” Paul clarified, holding his hands out. “That’s not what I meant about being a dreamer. It’s just ... Rowan has always believed in the inherent goodness of people. She’s a smart cookie, but she wants to believe that everyone wears their intentions on their sleeves and no one wants to hurt others.”
“She doesn’t believe that,” Quinn countered. “She might’ve been that way as a kid, but she’s leery now. She didn’t even want to tell Sally, her best friend, what she could do. She was terrified that Sally would think she was a freak and cut her out of her life.
“The daughter you left might have been a dreamer, but the woman I fell in love with doesn’t believe she can afford to dream,” he continued. “She’s cynical and suspects people all the time. You should be proud.”
Paul scowled. “I can tell this conversation isn’t going to go well.”
“Probably not,” Quinn agreed. “I’m here because the woman I love is very upset. I can’t ever remember seeing her this way before. You say she was this way when her mother died. Well, I’m willing to believe you. How do I fix it?”
“I don’t know that you can fix it. She’s upset. She needs to work through it herself. I overloaded her this morning. I was trying to explain but ... I don’t think she understood what I was insinuating. She kept saying that it wasn’t an acceptable reason, whatever that’s supposed to mean.”
Quinn knew exactly what it meant. “She’s been wondering what story you would tell her, imagining some huge tale of intrigue and death-defying feats. That’s the only thing in her mind that would explain what you did.
“I knew that no matter what story you told her, it wouldn’t be enough,” he continued. “You have to understand, you died on her. That’s what she believed because the alternative was too much to bear. Perhaps that is the dreamer in her you mentioned, I don’t know. Either way, she canonized you in the process.
“As she got older, she couldn’t completely dismiss the notion that you might have left her rather than die,” he said. “They never found your body. She thought that was weird. She wasn’t the only one. I’m going to bet that the Phoenix Society has been watching her over the years. She might have felt their presence without even realizing it.”
“Oh, they were watching her all right.” Paul turned bitter. “Nick caught sight of them a few times. When she was a photojournalist, they were very interested in her actions. I wish she hadn’t picked a career that involved photography, but it wasn’t as if I could reach out from beyond the grave and warn her about it, is it? She did a lot of fantastical things — saved several lives — when she was with the newspaper. It drew their attention.”
“So, what? Were you watching them as they watched her?”
“I had interested parties watching them,” Paul corrected. “I couldn’t get too close. I couldn’t risk it. I did what I could, though. I know it sounds awful, but I was actually glad when Rowan lost her job at the newspaper. I thought she would have to find something else, something less dangerous.
“When I found out she was joining the staff here, I was actually excited,” he continued. “I thought, ‘It’s a cruise ship. How much trouble could she find on a cruise ship?’ I thought it was an inspired choice.”
Despite himself, Quinn chuckled. “I guess you’ve changed your mind on that front.”
“Yes. The two of you have found so much trouble that my head is often spinning. I can’t keep up.”
“Is that what made you decide to approach her now? Are you going to try to talk her into leaving the ship?”
“If I thought that was possible, I would insist she come with me,” Paul admitted. “I would find a way to make her disappear after one of the cruises and no one would be the wiser because I have money to hide her identity now. Being P.J. Landis gives me certain opportunities that I didn’t have ten years ago.”
“Yes, I’m dying to find out how you became a famous author. That’s not the point of this conversation, though. You can tell that story when we get over this ... whatever this is. That’s not going to happen until Rowan finds her strength. She’s certainly not feeling it right now.”
“You just need to give her time.”
“How much time?”
“It won’t take long,” Paul supplied. “She’s a strong girl. She always has been. She does tend to shut down when things aren’t going her way, but she recognizes that’s an error relatively quickly. She’ll probably be back to her normal self — or as close to her normal self as possible — in a few hours. That’s why I took a step back and let her wallow. She was starting to shut down right in front of me and I didn’t want to push her.”
“Yes, you’re a prince,” Quinn drawled, disgusted. “You’re the king of all kings.”
“It’s okay to hate me.” Paul lowered his voice. “I want you to like me because I believe it’s more likely she’ll forgive me if you do, but the most important thing is that Rowan has someone on her side who fights for what she needs and wants. That’s you. I’m glad that she’s got you because it’s important she has someone to lean on.
“Part of me wants to hate you because I know that Rowan’s life is with you now,” he continued. “There was a time I was working on an extraction plan for her because I couldn’t take another moment living without her. That all changed when you came into the picture. She’ll never leave you.”
“I’m not in competition with you for your daughter’s affections.” Quinn slowly got to his feet and licked his lips, his temper threatening to completely derail the conversation. “She loves me in a way that’s completely separate to what she feels for you.”
“I know that.”
“This isn’t about you,” Quinn hissed, planting his hands on his narrow hips. “This is about her. It’s her needs that are important. Her feelings. The nightmares she’s going to be trapped in when we go to bed tonight. That’s what’s important. Your feelings and ego aren’t important at a
ll.”
Paul’s mouth dropped open. “I didn’t say ... .”
Quinn cut him off, frustrated. “I don’t care what you have to say. I want you to listen to me very carefully. She needs answers from you.”
“I gave her the only answers I have.”
“We both know that’s not true. You gave her part of it. You’re still hiding something. I’m not an idiot. It’s written all over your face whenever you open your mouth. You might have told her some of the truth, but until you tell her all of it, you’re never going to have a chance to fix what you broke.
“Now, I don’t know if you deserve another chance, but it’s not my place to make that decision,” he continued. “Rowan is the one who decides. She’s in control. She needs you to tell the truth. She needs you to do your very best to heal her heart. If you can’t do that, then back away now. It will hurt, but it will be a lot less painful than it could be.”
“I didn’t come here to be a coward,” Paul stressed. “I plan to fix this to the best of my ability.”
“Then you’d better step up your game, because you’re failing miserably. This was not a good start. Do better.”
10
Ten
Rowan was on her feet and markedly better when Quinn returned to her room shortly before dinner. His intention was to suggest he pick up food in the kitchen from Sally and they hunker down for the night, but he changed his mind on the fly when he realized she was no longer in the mood to hide from the emotions she was feeling.
“How does dinner in the main dining room sound?” he asked as he placed his laptop on her table. “I want to tell you about my day.”
She nodded without hesitation. “I’m starving. I haven’t eaten anything today.”
He furrowed his brow. “Nothing?”
She shook her head. “My father showed up before I had breakfast and then ... well, then I kind of fell apart for a bit. I’m sorry about that, by the way. I have no excuse.”
Farewell Seas Page 9
