Under an Alaskan Sky

by Jennifer Snow

  Walking up the stairs to the apartment behind Kaia, she shook her head. “What is in that backpack of yours?” The worn Wonder Woman–themed backpack, the one Kaia had used for years, refusing to replace it, sagged low on the little girl’s back, and the straps looked ready to break.

  “Books for research on different countries. We have a social studies assignment due at the end of the month.”

  “Oh cool...well, let me know if you need help.” She’d never been a great student, but the years she’d spent traveling after graduating high school might be able to add a real-life perspective to Kaia’s assignment. “I have pictures from Australia, Japan, New Zealand and Europe if you’d like to use them, and I kept a travel journal as well, so anything that might be useful, you’re free to borrow.”

  “Thanks! I’m definitely going to take you up on that,” she said as they entered the apartment.

  Diva immediately rushed toward them, looking ready to pounce, but a slight hand gesture from Kaia and the dog sat obediently at her feet, though her wagging tail revealed she was having trouble not licking the little girl’s face off.

  Kaia laughed and bent to praise her.

  “You’re so good with her training,” Cassie said. “She still doesn’t listen to me like that.” And knowing that soon enough the dog would be leaving her, Cassie hadn’t exactly been all that strict with her lately.

  “You just need to be consistent with her and show her who’s boss.”

  Cassie hid a smile as she hung their coats. Sometimes, it was easy to forget Kaia was only ten years old. She acted much older.

  “What is all this stuff?” Kaia said, scanning the boxes stacked everywhere inside.

  “All my old junk from my mom’s place,” Cassie said. “She was tired of storing all of it.”

  “Ah...the decluttering method to a peaceful mind.”

  “You’ve read the book?”

  “Dad and I watched the Netflix series. It was actually pretty insightful.” She looked at all the boxes. “You might want to consider decluttering yourself.”

  Cassie rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I’ll take that into consideration. Milk and cookies?”

  “Sure. Can I look?”

  “Knock yourself out.” Maybe she should exchange her knowledge of world travels for Kaia’s decluttering tips.

  Kaia opened the lid of one of the boxes and took out several yearbooks. She flipped the pages. “Oh my God. Look at your hair. It’s so curly!”

  “Actually, it’s called ‘crimped’ and it was very much in style,” she said, carrying the snacks into the living room. She glanced over Kaia’s shoulder and cringed at the horrible hairstyle. It had actually been in style about five years before...but they were often late to the game on fashion trends growing up in Willow Lake. And more than likely, her mother had bought the crimping iron secondhand from the thrift store. But at the time, she’d thought she looked great.

  “It says you wanted to be an adventure tour guide when you grew up.”

  “Nailed it.” She’d always known what she wanted to do with her life. It was the road to getting there that had been a mystery. And now whether it was her future.

  “Also says you wanted to marry Macaulay Culkin...”

  “I hear he’s single again, so there’s still hope on that one.” Cassie opened the lids on several more boxes, but it was all mostly old clothing and survival guide books on wilderness training.

  So much of this her mother could have simply tossed and she’d have never been the wiser. At least getting rid of most of it would be easy.

  Kaia put the yearbook back in the box and sat on the couch, petting Diva.

  “You okay?” She’d seemed preoccupied when she’d climbed into the truck after school, but Cassie resisted the urge to ask how the visit with Montana had gone. She was dying to know, but despite what her mother had said, she wasn’t sure it was her place to ask.

  “Yeah... I’m good...” She fluffed Diva’s fur around her face into a mane. “I met my mom,” she said quietly.

  Cassie nodded. Admit that she knew Montana was in town or act surprised? “Wow, that’s...wow. How did it go?”

  “Great!” Her bright smile made Cassie happy, but simultaneously nervous.

  Montana better not hurt one single, tiny emotion...

  “That’s wonderful.”

  “Yeah, she came over to our house and she didn’t stay long, but I showed her my room and she helped with my homework.”

  Wow, really integrating herself right in there. She forced a breath. It might have gone well, but it was still Cassie Tank had asked to pick Kaia up from school that day. Her fear of being replaced was dumb. He relied on her and her bond with Kaia wasn’t so weak that she had anything to worry about.

  “We ate brownies and it was nice to get to know her...see her. She’s so pretty.”

  Stunning was more like it. “Well, I guess now the mystery is solved.”

  Kaia looked confused.

  “Of how you got to be so adorable,” Cassie said.

  Kaia laughed. “I do look like her... It was a little weird actually.”

  “But I’m sure it must be nice having her back.”

  “It is. I didn’t tell Dad because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but I wondered about her all the time.”

  “That’s totally understandable and I know your dad would understand too. I used to wonder about my dad, after he went missing. A lot actually.” Unlike her brother, she hadn’t believed that her father had gotten lost in the outback. She’d been perceptive even then and she’d known her father struggled with alcohol. Despite their parents’ attempts at shielding them from the drunken binges and fights, Cassie had known her father wasn’t well.

  For a long time she’d thought maybe he’d died...either an accident or suicide, but when his body had never been found, she’d started to acknowledge the more likely scenario that he’d left them.

  Hearing from him the year before had been a surprise, but despite his walking out and the demons he struggled with, it was a welcome surprise. A relief to hear his voice again. She had hope that maybe someday they’d rebuild their family.

  So she knew exactly how Kaia must be feeling.

  “I knew you’d get it,” Kaia said, finally reaching for a cookie as they heard footsteps on the grate stairs leading to the apartment.

  “Your dad’s early,” Cassie said, fixing her hair quickly as the door opened.

  “Hey,” Tank said as he entered.

  Diva immediately turned to the sound of his voice. Cassie noticed that a lot lately. The dog reacting and responding to Tank more and more. Working with him out in the field was doing wonders for Diva’s self-esteem. It was hard to believe she was the same pup with narcolepsy that almost hadn’t found a home because of her condition.

  “Hi, Dad, we were just having a snack and Cassie was about to Tweet at Macaulay Culkin for a date.” Kaia winked at her.

  Tank looked confused. “The Home Alone kid?”

  Cassie nodded, chewing her own cookie. “He’s not a kid anymore.”

  “What am I missing?” Tank glanced back and forth between the two of them.

  Kaia laughed. “Nothing. Inside joke. Want me to walk Diva before we head home?” she asked Cassie.

  “Sure...if your dad says it’s okay.” She needed to talk to him. She had no idea what to say, but her mother was right. Sitting back and giving him all the time in the world to come around and fall in love with her wasn’t working.

  “Yeah, that would be great. Thanks, sweetheart,” he said.

  Diva was already standing near the door.

  Kaia put on her jacket and grabbed the pink sequined collar and leash and left with the dog.

  “Don’t go too far,” Tank called after her.

  “We won’t.”

  When the
door closed behind her, he sat on the sofa. “How was she when you picked her up?”

  “Fine...a little quiet at first. But she told me about the visit with Montana...and she seemed happy.”

  “Happy. Okay, good. That’s good.”

  “How are you?” He looked like he hadn’t slept in a while. Dark circles under his eyes, and his beard had grown much longer than usual. She resisted the urge to reach out and touch his hand on the couch between them. Too much, too fast. They needed to talk first. So instead, she grabbed a pillow and hugged it on her lap.

  “Okay. Maybe not. I don’t know. I mean, it’s a good thing that the visit went well, but I guess I’m just surprised by how well it went, you know?”

  She nodded, and he continued before she could say anything.

  “I thought I provided everything she needed...and you were always there for her. For both of us.”

  Cassie nodded again. “About that...”

  “It makes sense, I guess.”

  Okay, he wasn’t finished.

  “She’s a little girl and soon she’ll be a teenager with new challenges and dating and heartbreaks and then an adult, graduating high school and figuring out what to do with her life...” His voice trailed off as though he were seeing too far into the future and it terrified him. “But I didn’t worry so much because...” He turned to look at her.

  Because she was there. The stand-in role model, babysitter who longed to be so much more. But hell, if Tank had seen Cassie in all of those future events, what capacity had he envisioned? Had he simply assumed she’d be okay with a permanent platonic relationship, where she provided everything he needed, but didn’t come close to getting what she wanted?

  “That came out wrong...”

  She wasn’t sure it had and it made her pump the brakes on the feelings confession and play for him that she’d been about to make. He wasn’t exactly in the right mindset to be receptive to that right now. She sighed. “Look, I don’t think Kaia felt that she was missing anything...but her mother is obviously important to her and it had to be hard growing up all this time wondering about her.” She’d been older when her dad disappeared. Therefore she’d at least had the opportunity to know him, had created memories with him, had something to hold on to. Kaia had only ever had her fantasies and her dreams. Chances were she’d built her mother up in her mind. “This is a good thing.”

  “What if Montana doesn’t stick around, though? I think Kaia would be even more devastated now if she left.”

  Kaia or him?

  “Montana said she’s staying, right?” Maybe if she told Tank that Montana had come looking for a job, he’d be more willing to believe that this move was a permanent thing, but she didn’t think now was the right time to bring it up. Add more stress to the situation.

  And if she was being completely truthful, she didn’t want to tell him yet. He’d tell her not to even consider hiring Montana or going ahead with his ex’s crazy plan, and this was a decision Cassie wanted to make on her own.

  Her mother wouldn’t approve. Tank wouldn’t approve. No one would. But it was her decision. No one else was facing losing their business, so they really didn’t have a say in this. And as much as she’d like to completely dismiss Montana’s idea, the big ticking time bomb that was the North Mountain Sports Company countdown had her considering it.

  “Yes, but Montana’s not exactly the most reliable. She says things without realizing that she may need to follow through.” His voice took on an edge.

  Was he referring to her promises to him, their relationship...?

  “I just don’t want her to get Kaia’s hopes up and then disappoint her.”

  Kaia’s hopes? Or his?

  Cassie was silent. She couldn’t remember ever seeing Tank this way. Montana definitely had an effect on him and his emotions...something Cassie had never been capable of. Her chest tightened and all the words she’d planned to say evaporated.

  Tank reached across the sofa and touched her cheek. The gesture had her pulse quickening as she looked at him. Her heartbeat echoed in her ears and she hugged the cushion tighter. “Kinda like I did to you,” he said, looking pained, troubled.

  His words had her pounding heart falling into the pit of her stomach.

  So that’s where they were.

  * * *

  SITTING AT HIS DESK, Tank ordered that week’s liquor delivery. One aspect of his life hadn’t changed. He still had a bar to run...though he couldn’t ignore the fact that that too was an issue he needed to deal with.

  “Hey, why is Montana’s name on the schedule for this week?” Reed asked, ducking his head in through the open office door.

  So much for no one noticing. “She’s going to take a few shifts, that’s all. Wants to keep busy...” If he looked up from his paperwork and met his friend’s eyes, the truth would pour out of him, so he kept his attention on the payroll.

  “She’s going to work here?”

  “Not permanently.”

  “Why at all? I thought you two weren’t exactly seeing eye to eye.”

  “We’re not, but it was the right thing to do.” As if he’d had a choice or say in the matter. Montana could use her extra set of keys to access the place anytime, night or day, and there was nothing Tank could do about it.

  Reed stepped into the office and Tank sighed.

  Guess they weren’t done talking about this.

  “So, you want her to stay in town?” Reed looked confused.

  Welcome to the club, buddy. “I have no idea what I want, but I don’t think it’s up to me anyway. Montana can live wherever she wants.”

  “But you don’t want her to stay in Wild River, so why are you helping her? Making it easier?”

  “She’s Kaia’s mother, Reed. What would you expect me to do?”

  Reed folded his arms across his chest, one eyebrow raised. “You’re a good guy, Tank, but I wouldn’t call you saintly.”

  He should if he knew how hard Tank had had to work all these years to keep his hands and lips and every other part of him off Cassie. And now how he was once again pushing her away so that he wouldn’t hurt her any more than he already had. Damn, that was going to be the most challenging of all the shit he currently had piling up to deal with. “Fine... Montana is part owner of The Drunk Tank.” The truth would come out eventually.

  Reed’s mouth dropped. “Come again.”

  “She’s part owner. Fifty-fifty. She was an original investor years ago.”

  “And you never thought it might be a good idea to buy her out?”

  “Of course I did, many times, but with her brain injury, her lawyer—her parents’ lawyer—advised her not to sign the papers I had drafted. Said she might regret it and my lawyer couldn’t force the issue...”

  “’Cause of the injury?”

  Tank nodded and went back to payroll. The situation was unfortunate, but there had been nothing he could do. His hands had been tied, but now things might be different. If she was better and able to live independently and work, then maybe she could sign the papers now too.

  “Does Cass know?”

  “No. No one knows besides you. And Montana has agreed not to say anything. She’s just taking a few shifts to stay busy while she gets her own venture off the ground.”

  “Own venture?”

  “Don’t ask. I didn’t.” Whatever scheme Montana was planning was none of his concern. As long as it didn’t negatively impact Kaia, she could do whatever she wanted. “I have enough to deal with right now.”

  “You sure do.”

  Tank glared at him. “Don’t you have a bar to tend?”

  When Reed left the office, Tank shut down the accounting program and opened his desk drawer. The old buyout documents were still in the large manila envelope he’d buried in there seven years before. Seven years ago he’d still had his savings
, enough to buy out Montana’s share without sacrificing the bar’s profits. Now that nest egg was gone. Reinvesting the money back into the bar over the years had been a good idea, one he didn’t regret. As time had passed, he’d convinced himself that Montana wasn’t coming back. Sending her share of the revenue every month had been okay with him. It made him feel less guilty about not making more of an effort to help her and Kaia’s relationship.

  But now, he’d need a loan to buy her out and he wasn’t sure he had enough equity in this place to do it. Remortgaging his condo didn’t appeal to him.

  He ran a hand over his beard and stared at the legal documents. Would Montana sign these now? She’d told him vaguely and without detail that she had a new plan for her future that she was working on, so maybe the buyout money would appeal to her...if he had it to offer her. He was surprised she hadn’t approached him about the buyout option yet.

  She’d ruined his birthday. Maybe she was waiting for Father’s Day to drop another bomb on his life.

  Either way, it was the only thing to do. He couldn’t continue to share the bar with Montana. Sharing his daughter was more than enough.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  THREE BOOKING CANCELATIONS that day. From regular clients who booked their spring company retreats with SnowTrek Tours every year. What the hell was she going to do? Cassie counted on the business, foolishly budgeted her month with these three bookings in mind. Now she was going to have to dip into her savings to keep the lights on.

  It was their reason for cancelation that bothered her most. They each had “gone a different way this year.”

  Translation: they’d rebooked with North Mountain Sports Company.

  Cassie sighed as she shut everything down for the day. North Mountain Sports Company was already negatively impacting her business and they hadn’t even opened yet.

  Her spring promo wasn’t working and she couldn’t realistically drop her prices to match the big chain store’s opening sales.