Jason pushed me firmly by the arms, walking me backward until I sat heavily on the step. “You don’t need to think about breathing, sweet girl. Just let the pain run through you. Let yourself cry right now. Your body will breathe on its own.”
The air entered my lungs then in a shaken, heartbroken sob, so loud and so distraught that David came to sit beside me. He laid a hand to my knee and tilted my chin upward with the other, thumbing a line of tears from my cheek. “I’ll come with you.”
“With me?”
“Back home,” he said. “I’ll pack my things now. I’ll be ready in five minutes.”
“I don’t want you there.” I wailed in the back of my throat for a second, my whole face crumpling into a tight mess. “I don’t wanna have to explain to Vicki that we’re not together. I—”
“Then we won’t. We’ll just play along, Ara, but I can’t let you go alone.” His suddenly kind green eyes searched an invisible line around my face and his flat palm followed to dry the sweat and tears from my skin. “Not like this.”
“I’m not alone. I have Mike.”
“And how is Vicki gonna understand that? Your dad dies and I’m not there with you? She’ll at least expect me to fly in for the funeral, Ara.”
“No. You can stay here, and I’ll tell her the truth about us, because I don’t want you anywhere near me.” A jagged breath forced me to stop for a second, and my anger festered into rage. “Why should you come? Why should I give you the… the satisfaction of bathing your hatred in my pain—”
“It’s not like that!” He grabbed my arms and shook me, and I was so shocked I almost didn’t notice Mike and Jason gasp. “You don’t get it.”
“Let go of me.” I pushed at his hands, hurting my own in trying to get him off.
“Not until you get it through your silly head, Ara, that—”
“Hey, she said let go—” Jason started, but David’s glare went past me to his brother, and without need for another word, Jason backed down.
“Use your brain, girl,” David said, forcefully pulling me closer, his nose almost touching mine. “How will Vicki take the news that we’re broken up? All it will do is make her worry for you more now without your dad around, and…” He looked away and closed his lips tight, his eyes watering. “I loved him, too. He was a good man. A good teacher, and my father-in-law.”
I wiped my face, my hands so icy it shocked my skin. “Why should I care what you want?”
“Ara, please don’t hate me right now. Not today,” he said, his smooth voice cracking. “Or at least don’t let that hatred deny me the chance to say goodbye.”
“Fine.” I sniffed, looking away, because something about seeing him break felt shameful—degrading somehow. “Come.”
“But if you do or say anything to upset her,” Mike warned, leaving it at that.
“What kind of man do you think I am?” David stood. “She’s grieving, for God’s sake.”
“She’s pregnant, too, but that hasn’t stopped you,” he added.
David rubbed his brow, taking a moment, then looked down at me. “So you told him everything.”
I swallowed hard, my frantic gaze going to my blabbermouth friend.
“She has every right to tell me.” Mike stood to my defense. “Silent abuse is still abuse!”
“Hey, I never touched her,” David growled.
“Not with your hands,” he yelled, his face going completely red. “But your words hurt her more than anything you could ever do to her body, and if you think, for one second, that I don’t intend to flay you for what you’ve done to her, king or not—”
“That’s enough!” Jason’s arms abandoned me as he stood too.
The boys stopped instantly, huffing loudly like heated dogs.
“Brother?” Jason pulled himself upright as he addressed his king. “If you care about her, you should stay, because you are the last thing she needs right now.”
As David’s eyelids closed, I was sure I saw a small glimmer of something, maybe sadness, but when they opened again it was gone. “While I may hate her for what she did with you, brother,” he spat, “I made a vow before God and the law to stand by her in times of grief, and—”
“Oh, so that’s your excuse to go with her. A vow?” Mike mocked. “What about the vow to love and honor and pro—”
“It doesn’t matter what you think my reasons for going are,” David said, his voice drowning out Mike’s. “Fact is, I am going with her. And you can either come or stay here. But this is not open for discussion.”
“Well, if you’re going, I’m going,” Jase said, folding his arms. “I’m not leaving her alone with—”
“Until you marry her,” David cut in coldly, “you have no place by her side.”
“And you have no right to be by her side,” he countered. “What do you hope to gain? Huh? Is this some sick need to bear witness to her pain, to—”
“You will stay here,” David demanded with the full weight of that kingly composure. “And that is final!”
Jase shut up instantly and just closed his eyes, exhaling.
“Mike?” David waited before speaking again. “I’m going inside to pack. If you leave without me, I will kill you.”
Mike’s face paled, because the sudden chill emanating from David indicated a willingness to follow-through on that vow.
Jason helped me to my feet, resting his brow to mine as I folded against him. “I’ll be around, Ara. I’ll come by to check on you tonight. If you want to see me, just leave a note on your window.”
I nodded, brushing my forehead down his jaw, holding there as he kissed the corner of my eyebrow.
“Come on.” Mike offered his hand. “Let’s get you home.”
I left the warmth of Jason’s arms and the aura of protection he offered my aching soul, and walked in a completely numb state toward the car. David was already gone—inside. Packing. Getting ready to come with us. With me. But for what? Had he grown so cold and so cruel these last few weeks that he wanted to see me crying over my father’s grave? Or was there some small hint of a friend left inside him that still cared, deep, deep down, if I was hurting?
Mike sat me in the front seat and gently closed the door, where I rested my head until the trunk closed again, and David slid into the backseat.
I didn’t even look back to see if Jason stood and watched us disappear down the road, but I knew he did. I could feel his energy, feel the love and the hurt inside him like a combination of nausea and pure agony. I wanted him to come, wanted him beside me right now to hold me through this pain, but I also knew David was right. Vicki needed to see me okay. She needed to see me happily married. And since the day I drank blood and became immortal, my life had been bound by duty, obligation and appearances. This was a time, now more than ever, to accept that role and play it well.
“What about Emily?” I said, as we reached the gate.
“She left with Blade and Falcon at dawn to set up a guard post.”
“Someone needs to tell her,” I said in a trembling voice, a hot tear spilling past my lashes, carrying the depth of my soul’s sudden comprehension.
“I will,” David said, and an image flashed in his mind of Emily in a brown suit jacket, the feeling rich all around that somehow connected it to my dad.
My life moved in reverse then, the car taking me down the long road beyond the manor gates in the opposite direction I last travelled it; the enclosing forest, followed by the wide planes of open field, resting under my weary gaze for the first time in so long—a scene I’d not thought about since those gates locked me into my new life so long ago.
This was now the world outside—the human world: a place I no longer really fit, and each inch of it I farewelled on the way in would, landmark by landmark, take me back to my old life again, against my will.
* * *
The trees had grown in since I left this place, coloring the long street with a warm orange hue. Nothing much ever changed around here. The white
houses and long driveways greeted me as though I’d get to the end of the street, pull up in the drive, and everything would be the same as it was before: my dad would be there on the porch waiting for me, and if I looked across the road I’d see David standing by the school with a loving smile, looking at me like there was nothing more beautiful in this world.
But nothing was the way it used to be. In fact, it seemed more like I’d slipped backward in time to the first day I arrived here after my mom died. Everything—the feel, the air, the scene was the same—as we rolled so slowly down the street that it seemed to grow longer the closer we got, everyone silent and reverent, saying nothing in case it set me off crying again.
I’m not sure David knew quite what to do on the way here. With Mike focusing on traffic and directions, the man in the backseat was really the only source of comfort for the sobbing mess in the front passenger seat. He didn’t touch me or say anything to me, but I felt him in my head, simmering my pain down in the only way he really knew how. But as soon as I’d stop sobbing and fall asleep for a moment, his energy would gently trickle away and the pain would rise again with a certain sting of severity for having been squashed in the first place. He’d given up after the first hour and just sat back looking out the window.
I hadn’t expected any comfort anyway. After all, Mike couldn’t think about the grief while he had to drive, and David was, for all intents and purposes, a guy. He’d never really been good at watching someone cry—especially when he hated that someone enough to make it his mission to cause their tears. A part of me wondered from time to time if he was enjoying seeing me so upset, but that part was quickly dismissed with a slap on the head. I hoped to God he wasn’t that shallow. But I just wasn’t so sure anymore.
I sat forward a little to watch the autumn leaves swirl at our tires, sweeping past with the gust from the front fender and roll around in the gutters, coming to rest just ahead like Nature’s Carpet, laying a pathway for us to take. The presence of familiar energies rose up from those leaves, easing my heart a little as if the Mother Herself had accompanied me on this journey. It reminded me that no matter how far away I drove from the island, it would never be far enough to escape what I was or who I was. To anyone who laid eyes on me, I was just a girl grieving her father. But the deeper truth of it all gave me some comfort in a strange way, to know I had so many people, an entire kingdom, back home that loved me and were wishing me well. I could almost feel their prayers making me stronger.
Mike flicked the blinker on and pulled a right into the driveway of my dad’s house. The car tipped slightly up the bump and when he cut the engine, we all just sat for a moment listening to the murmurs of the vehicle settling into its new position.
“It looks just the same,” I noted in a sad whisper.
Mike twisted in his seat and rested his arm behind my headrest. “You ready?”
“No.”
“Aw, Ar.” He took my hand. “I wish I could make this easy on you, but—”
I squeezed his hand absently, all my attention on the closed blue front door instead. “I’m okay, Mike.”
“I wonder where everyone is?” David said.
“Probably inside.”
“They’d normally have come out by now,” Mike said.
“Guess they’re just not watching the window, like usual.” I loosened my grip on him, then turned to pull the door handle back. But the door was already open, a tall, stern-looking vampire standing there holding it for me. “Thanks,” I muttered, clambering out of the car with a little help from his long and unusually cool fingers.
Mike went around to the trunk to get the bags, David moving in to help when he noticed, and I turned to look up at the house. My dad’s house. The only place I had left to run home to when the world got too much. Now, it was just Vicki’s house.
I didn’t dare look over at the school, knowing my dad would never be there again; never accept a position as school principal and maybe watch my daughter go through that school too. He was a loss not only to me but to the entire community. And my heart broke for all those I knew that loved him, too—that would miss him as terribly as I would. Nate included. Nate, who couldn’t even come to the funeral because he was supposedly dead.
A high-pitched whine caught me off guard then, and I drew a sharp breath as I looked down at the shadow on the ground and saw a pair of doggy ears. “Petey!”
He whimpered again, licking his chops as he hesitantly advanced, his head hung low.
“Hello, you big fluffball.” I dropped to my knees and wrapped my arms all the way around him, sobbing my heartache into his thick white fur. He licked the side of my ear, but I was just so happy to see him I didn’t care if he covered me in goo. “Where’ve you been? We haven’t seen you in so long.”
He sat back on his haunches and turned his doggy snout toward the house.
“You been keeping an eye on them for me?”
“Hey, Petey, old man,” Mike said, dropping a bag by his foot to squat down and pat the dog. “Where you been, boy?”
“He’s been hanging out with Sam,” I said.
“Hm. Must’ve known,” David said, appearing like a vampire beside us.
I looked up at him, squinting against the midday sun. “Must have known what?”
“He tends to make himself present when tragedy is… well, when bad things are about to happen,” David said.
“You think he knew?” I asked, ruffling the fur between Petey’s ears.
David moved his shoulders up in a delicate shrug. “Maybe.”
“Well,” I said, standing up. “It’s good to see him here now.”
“Sis?”
We all turned to the frail voice of a tall, lanky boy on the porch step.
“Hey, Sam.”
He ran forward then, his shoulders leading the way, legs following lazily, and wrapped me up in a skinny-armed hug. My face only just reached his pecs now, and I suddenly felt more like a ‘little sister’.
“You holding out okay, Sam?” I asked into his shirt.
He stood back and shook his head, his blue eyes so pale with sadness. “I’m tryin’ to stop crying, but…”
“Me too,” I said, breaking into tears again.
We both smiled a little then, wiping our faces.
“Sam.” David moved in, offering his hand, and as they shook, I noticed that Sam was actually a centimeter taller than David now. “Good to see you again.”
“Likewise,” Sam said, tucking his hands in his pockets. He turned his head as Mike stepped in then and they hugged, talking quietly amongst themselves for a second. And behind them, a very slow, very solemn version of my stepmother came out from the house. She struggled physically to compose herself, taking careful steps, clearly holding her breath. I could hear her heart thundering in her chest, her blood pumping too fast for her human body to cope, so I ran forward and met her on the stairs, throwing my arms around her neck.
“It’s so good to see you,” she said, her voice hoarse.
“You too, Mom.” I held on to her just that little bit longer, even though she gave me the freedom to step back if I wanted. “It’s the dumbest question in the world but… are you okay?”
She stood back, but didn’t answer, just took both my hands and held them outward, getting a good look at my potbelly. “Aren’t you a picture of perfection? Look at that baby.”
“Growing strong.” I patted the bump.
“Oh.” She covered her mouth. “I never thought I’d see this day.”
David moved in from behind me then and hugged Vicki.
“Yeah, nice bump, sis,” Sam said, elbowing me as I took the back seat to the greetings.
“Thanks. I grew it myself.”
He offered a smile, but it was weak.
“You too,” Vicki said quietly, stepping away from David to hug Mike. She seemed to hug Mike that little bit tighter than she did David, maybe because he spent so long living here with us, helping me through my tragic recovery, that
they’d just seemed to forge a better bond. “Come on in then.” She turned away. “I’ll make some tea.”
* * *
After my tenth yawn, Vicki stood and offered to show us to our room. Mike, seeing the awkwardness coat David and I like sludge, suggested a room at my old house. But Vicki absolutely insisted we stay with her—said Greg would never forgive her if she didn’t have us here. David and I politely agreed, but neither were happy about it.
We farewelled Mike at the front door, and he left with a cheeky glint in his eye, knowing the situation David and I would find ourselves in tonight when we laid down to sleep. I had my own little laugh though, because Mike still hadn’t told Vicki that he and Em had broken up. She’d expect them to be at least holding hands at the funeral. And I quietly wondered how that would make Blade feel.
“I thought about making up your bedroom,” Vicki said, pushing open the door to Mike’s old room aka the spare room. “But…” She looked sadly at the floor, and David’s thoughts came through to mine: She didn’t have anyone to ask for help to move the furniture. Your dad always did that.
I touched her arm, deliberately making my smiling eyes a little wider with excitement as I took in the room. “Mom, this is perfect. And, truthfully, I’m just so happy to be home I don’t care where we sleep.”
She stilled the quivering of her jaw and looked up, the sadness moving aside for a smile when she saw the honesty in my face. “Really?”
“Yes.” I stepped past her and did a circle in the room, taking it all in. The bed was still placed to our left between the closet door and the bathroom, facing the wall where an empty set of drawers waited for our belongings, the TV now sitting on top of it. It was exactly as it had been when Mike lived here, which gave me a very odd but very comforting sense of safety. “I spent a lot of time in here with Mike over that winter, remember?”
She nodded, eyeing David sideways, obviously to see how he felt about that statement. But he just smiled at me affectionately, as though it hadn’t bothered him. It did, though. I heard him stop his own spiteful thoughts, knowing I’d hear them; that I was always just a little bit too close with every guy I ever had in my life, and nothing had changed.
Echoes & Silence Part 1 Page 9
