by S. Jones
The arena went black as he started playing his very first hit, “Take Some Time to Heal.” He sang about a man chasing after his dreams, leaving his girl behind, wishing she were with him sitting by his side. I’ve heard this song a million times. I knew deep down that it was meant for me, but having him admit it caused my heart to shatter into a million pieces. I allowed myself to feel the words and imagine his pain as he sang about losing his best friend. You could hear the emotion and the break in his voice like he was reliving the memories and the moments that lead to that song.
One of his greatest triumphs was born out of his greatest pain.
My head reeled in confusion. Whatever excuses I’ve used in the past didn’t matter now. He was different; I could see it in his eyes. They were bright with color instead of clouded over from booze and drugs. He looked healthy and so comfortable in his own skin, and that pleased me beyond words.
As soon as he was done, he thanked everyone for coming out and exited the stage. The bright lights came back on, letting the crowd know that the show was really over and they all started to head back to the parking lots.
“Are you okay?” Carly asked, giving my shoulder a squeeze. My finger swiped the lone tear that had fallen.
“I’m not sure? I didn’t expect to feel this way.” My eyes were glued to the stage; I couldn’t peel them away. I wish I could say that hearing that song didn’t affect me, but it did.
Carly’s eyes scanned the thinning crowd. “I know this isn’t easy for you, but try not to overthink everything. Talk to him and just hear him out. You don’t have to have all the answers tonight, and you don’t have to tell him about Tanner if you’re not ready.”
I ran my sweaty palms down my jeans. “I’m just overwhelmed.”
“Of course, you are. I gotta admit, even I got goose bumps listening to him up there.”
“He sounded great, didn’t he?”
She gave me a half smile. “Yeah, he was born to be there on that stage.”
I reached into my purse and pulled out my phone to check the time. My finger swiped against the glass and clicked on the new message. A fresh set of tears sprung to my eyes at the picture that Jack had sent me. It was a selfie of him and a sleeping Tanner, resting next to him. The caption read:
Out like a light. Wish it were you in my arms. Hope you’re having a great time. I love you.
Let the guilt trip begin.
Carly blew out a long breath and folded her arms over her chest. “Man, I don’t envy you right now.”
I darkened the screen on my phone, gripping it tightly in my hands. If I didn’t do this now, I never would get the courage to do it again. On shaky legs, I made my way through the long dark hallway, leading into the private room, guarded by a handful of bandana wearing, motor-cycle riding muscle heads that protected the star of the show.
My grip on Carly’s hands tightened. “I can’t believe I’m actually doing this.”
She squeezed my hand back, letting me know that I wasn’t alone. We showed the security guards our passes along with our identification and followed him to the last room on the right. He paused outside the door. “Mr. Hayes is waiting for you.”
“Let’s do this,” Carly said, leading me into the room.
When I walked through the door, it wasn’t at all what I expected. It resembled a conference room with tables lined with fruit baskets and pastries along with fancy water bottles.
A fully stocked bar was set up in one corner and a couple of love seat couches with a flat screen tv was on the other side. There was a constant barrage of crew members and stage handlers shuffling around and random people coming and going for a quick chat.
Brogan’s head swung sideways, and his big, brown eyes widened when he noticed us. He stood up, slapped someone on the back and headed our way.
Being this up close and personal had me feeling weak in the knees. He was bigger and wider. Nothing like the boy I left behind. He was all man now.
“It’s really you,” he said in amazement.
“You were amazing out there,” I said, surprised that I could even talk.
His gaze did a slow trek up my body before a crooked grin took over his face. “Look at you.” He smiled. “You’re just as beautiful as I remembered. I’m so glad to see you.”
My face grew warm from his compliment. I felt jittery around him. I couldn’t help it. The combination of nerves and guilt were getting the better of me. “It’s really good to see you too. You looked like you belong up on that stage, Brogan.” A genuine smile touched my lips. “I’m so happy for you. You did it.”
He gathered me in his arms, pulling me against his chest. The familiar scent of his body wash was almost too much to handle. “You have no idea how much that means to me to hear you say that,” he said, with his chin resting on the top of my head.
I allowed my body a moment to reconnect, to absorb the feeling of being in his arms.
It’s been over eight years since I last saw him. Eight years since we last spoke, yet it seemed like just yesterday. Everything about him was different but familiar in a nostalgic kind of way.
He pulled back, watching me for a moment while his eyes searched mine. Carly coughed, reminding us both that she was still in the room with us.
Brogan laughed. “Good to see you, too, Carly.”
Her eyes twinkled like the two of them were in on a little secret. “I’m sure.”
He smirked. “Thank you for bringing her. Can I get you guys something to drink?”
I fiddled with my hands because I wasn’t sure how to start the conversation.
“Actually…” Carly looked at me. “I have to go take a phone call. I’ll let you two kids catch up.” She paused on her way out the door. “Brogan, you looked great up there. I’m glad I got to see you in action. Thanks for the tickets.”
“You’re welcome,” he answered, never taking his eyes off of me. “It was great to see you too.”
Okay, I guess I’m really doing this.
Brogan rocked back on his heels and laced his hands through his belt buckle. “So...” He was still staring at me in amazement. “How have you been?”
“I’ve been good.” My eyes darted across the room, looking for a way to stall this conversation. “It looks like life is treating you well.”
He grinned. “It has its perks.”
One of his bandmates approached, patting Brogan on the shoulder. “Yo, B, you going to introduce me to your friend?”
I recognized him from the set. He was the drummer. He had long, dark hair that stopped at his shoulders. His tattoos took up every available inch of his skin, and he had a smile that no doubt worked really well with the female fans. He was also a notorious bad boy who liked to sweet-talk the ladies and start fights just for the hell of it. He was a PR nightmare but he sure knew how to stay in the headlines.
“Not sure I should. You’re a little too smooth with the ladies for my liking.”
His friend barked out a laugh. “Aw, come on, man. You’re already off the market. Might as well let the rest of us have a little fun.”
Brogan’s jaw tightened. “She’s not a groupie, dipshit.” I wanted to intervene and speak for myself, but Brogan was instinctively protective over me. It made me think of times where I’d watch him at various bars, and he’d come to my defense when a guy from the crowd would try to make a move on me.
His friend Dennis, although everyone called him D, did a double take between the both of us. “What’s your problem, man?”
Brogan’s response was quick. “I’m not sure where the confusion is here, but she’s still off limits.”
His bandmate squinted his eyes with curiosity. I could see the wheels spinning in his head.
“My name is Chloe,” I offered, feeling shy suddenly. I wasn’t sure how much Brogan wanted people to know about our past, so I glossed over it. “Brogan and I went to college together.”
“College?” The guy drawled out, looking like he was slowly solving the rid
dle. His eyes grew wide. “Oh.” He pointed at me, his face twisted in distaste, as he looked me over. “She’s the one.”
“Drop it, D.” Brogan’s voice was hard, nothing like the one he used with me.
His friend shook his head then started to walk backward. “I hope you know what you’re doing, man.”
“We’re just friends,” I blurted out, trying to set the record straight before the rumors started circulating. “Besides, I have a boyfriend.”
“Yeah! Whatever you say, honey,” he muttered.
Brogan looked pissed. I needed to apologize. “I’m so sorry.”
He titled his head to the side, his jaw was still clenched. “What the hell are you sorry for?”
For everything I wanted to say, but couldn’t. “I’m sorry he got the wrong idea. The last thing you need is to get in trouble with your fiancée.”
Brogan straightened his back. “I’m not worried about it, and I really don’t want to talk about her. I want to talk about you. Where the hell have you been all these years? It’s like you dropped off the face of the earth.”
My throat went dry as I glanced around the room. His friends were gathered in the back corner clinking beers together and laughing loudly.
“Can we go somewhere and talk privately?”
He sighed, looking relieved. “I would love to.”
We were halfway across the room when a crew member stopped us by the door and held out a phone. “It’s Sienna; she wants to talk to you.”
Oh. The world-famous Sienna. She was so famous that she only required one name for people to know who you were talking about, like Cher, Whoopie, or Madonna. I felt a slight pinch in my nerves, but I refused to acknowledge it because I. Was. Not. Jealous. I had Jack.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I have to take this call. I’ll make it quick.”
I waved my hands and tried to act like it didn’t bother me that he was choosing to talk to her first, instead of me. “No worries. Take your time.”
He looked uneasy about taking the call. He could always see right through me. “You promise you won’t leave?”
“I’ll be here,” I replied and picked up my own phone to keep myself busy. I’ve never felt so out of place in my life.
He pressed the phone up to his ear. “Hey, baby.”
Hearing him call someone else “baby” was weird.
It’s funny how things never ended up like you thought they would. Even though we’ve both moved on, it was going to be difficult for both of us.
I sat down on one of the leather couches while Brogan stepped out in the hall to talk to Sienna. I looked around the room and thought about how much more complicated his life was than mine.
His friend D, slid into the seat next to me. “So, you’re the one that got away?”
My body went still. “Excuse me?”
He leaned back and threw one muscled leg up on the coffee table and twisted a toothpick around in his mouth. “I’ve always wondered who you were or if you would show up someday out of the blue. I’ve been with him since the beginning. He was pretty fucked up when he got to Nashville. I don’t think you have a clue as to how much you're leaving him had fucked up his life. It took him a while, but he finally found himself in a good place. I don’t want you coming back and fucking it up all over again.”
His hard tone had my guard going up. “I’m happy that everything turned out well for him, but whatever happened between the two of us is none of your fucking business.”
How dare he judge me? He had no idea of what I’ve been through. How hard it was for me to walk away from the man that I loved.
His lips curved into a smile that didn’t quite match his eyes. “You see, missy…” He inched closer to me. His hard stare had me pressing back against the sofa. “That’s where you’re wrong. My man is in a good place. He’s got himself a fine woman. He doesn’t need you fucking shit up. And let me tell you something else.” The way his eyes slid across my body made my skin crawl. “If you end up fucking with his head right now, that ends up fucking with his music, which is my music. That would make this very much my business.”
His words tore into me because he had no idea how much I was about to “fuck up” Brogan’s life. I didn’t want his career to suffer or for my son to be thrown in the middle of a media frenzy.
My eyes landed on Brogan who just stepped back into the room. He looked to still be in deep discussion with his fiancée. Both of our worlds would be blown apart once the shit hit the fan. He wasn’t just a no-name living in a small town. He was a well-known celebrity, and his every move was plastered all over the internet.
I clearly didn’t think this through enough.
“I think I should go.” I stood up and grabbed my purse off the floor.
“I think that’s a good idea,” he shot back dryly.
“Why are you being like this?”
His reputation preceded him. The guy was an asshole. Something told me not to agitate him, but I couldn’t stop myself. I knew there was no way I could win a fight with him, but I could still stand up to him. I wasn’t going to sit here and let him attack me for reasons he knew nothing about.
“You don’t even know me.”
Taking a pull from his beer, he replied, “I’ve got a good eye for people like you. They creep out of your past to grab onto the ride of fame. I had girlfriends from high school who’ve crawled out of the woodwork, looking to get on board the fame train. I have a second sense about these things. I saw the way he looked at you, and that isn’t the way someone should be looking at someone who’s engaged to someone else.”
I secured my purse around my shoulder. “It’s not like that.” I wasn’t sure why I was defending myself, but it made me feel better that I did.
The other guys from the band came sauntering over. “Hey, D, the promoter just called. We need to head out for the photo session. Where’s B?” the short guy with curly hair asked, glancing around the room.
D never took his eyes off of me when he said with a smile, “Talking to his woman.”
Direct hit. Message received, loud and clear.
I started to move toward the door while Brogan was still talking on the phone. I didn’t want him to see me leave because I knew he would try to stop me. “I’ll let you guys get to your waiting fans.”
The short guy with curly hair held out his hand. “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name?”
“Chloe.” I shook his extended hand. “I’m an old friend of Brogan’s.”
He smiled warmly at me. “Nice to meet you. I’ll let him know you had to take off.”
“I’d appreciate that. Thank you,” I said right before I shut the door and hauled my ass out of there.
Chapter 25
Chloe
I was in the middle of putting my things into the storage closet when Kristen snuck up behind me. “How was the concert last night?”
I jumped and covered my chest with my hand. “Jesus, you scared me.”
She strolled over and sat down on the stool against the wall.
“Yeeesh, you’re awfully jumpy today.”
“Just a little out of it. That’s all.”
I was more like an emotional wreck. When I got home last night, I sat in my car for over an hour, too chickenshit to go into my own house. I was afraid Jack would take one look at me and be able to tell that something was wrong. So, I waited until I knew for sure that he was asleep. I spent the entire night tossing and turning and rehearsing in my head what I would say when he asked me about the concert. This secret was eating away at me, and I wanted nothing more than to get it off my chest.
We both walked over and punched our codes into the machine to start our shift. She twisted her hair up into a ponytail and watched me. “You seem a little off.”
“I’m just tired. Late night and early morning, that’s all.”
She started up the coffee machine while I dusted off the counter. “Well, I hope you had a good time.”
Eric
, one of my favorite customers, came shuffling in through the door with his crew. They were linemen from up North who had been stationed here for storm repairs over the past month. We bonded one morning over Nickelodeon shows we both watched with our kids. He had a daughter who was the same age as Tanner.
“Hey Eric,” I said, giving him a wink. “Seat yourself. I’ll be right over.”
I watched Eric and his guys settle into a table of eight and pull out their menus. I brought them their coffee, wrote down their orders, and took care of my other customers that started to fill in. The breakfast crowd was always the busiest, but the easiest, because it was mostly my “regulars” coming in for their “usual.”
Jack and Tanner were stopping by later for breakfast to hang out while I finished up my shift. After that, we were headed to the beach for a few hours of fun and sun. Normally, I looked forward to our time together, but I was too distracted today. And with Jack flying out later tonight, there was no way I was going to miss a second of my time with him. Regardless of how I felt.
The bells chimed over the door, and I lifted my head to greet my next customer. The smile slipped from my face as Brogan strolled through the restaurant looking like he just walked off a photo shoot.
Everything around me came to a crashing halt.
“Holy shit, did you see who just walked in?” Kristen blurted out, jabbing her fist into my shoulder.
How could I not? His hair looked like it had been professionally styled, his deep cheekbones stood out against the squareness of his jaw, but his eyes. God, I always loved his eyes. They were always so expressive. Just like his son’s. Not to mention, unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past eight years, it would be impossible not to recognize him.
