by S. Jones
He gave my hand a squeeze. “Okay.”
Chapter 27
Jack
Leaning against my office window with a million-dollar view of midtown Manhattan, I concluded that there was nothing pretty about having your heart broken. I saw a reminder of her in almost every person that passed me on the streets. What really pissed me off was that I couldn’t even hate her for breaking my own damn heart, because I still loved her.
A lie was still a lie, even if it was one of omission. She didn’t exactly lie, but she sure as hell didn’t tell me the whole truth. If I learned anything from my parent’s marriage, it was that complete, unquestioning trust was essential to a relationship.
It’s been forty-eight hours since I last saw her, and I haven’t had a minute of sleep since. Why close your eyes when all you dream about is the nightmare that your life has become?
It felt like shit, but oddly enough it seemed like I deserved the pain for being so blind. I should have seen the signs because God knows there were plenty of them. There was too much that didn’t add up. I guess ignorance really was bliss.
I heard a knock at my door and spun around in my chair. My old friend, Brad Morgan, was leaning against the doorjamb holding a brown paper bag from Katz’s Deli.
Without waiting for an invite, he strolled through my office and took a seat, sporting the biggest smirk I’d ever seen on his face.
He kicked his feet up on my desk and shoved the bag in front of me. From the smell, I guessed it was my favorite, warm pastrami, with cool Russian dressing.
I raised an eyebrow because I specifically remember telling him when I sent him a text this morning that I was too busy to have lunch with him today.
The truth was, I didn’t want company. Especially from a man who just got engaged less than twenty-four hours ago. Given my current mood, I didn’t trust myself to be civil.
“Please, come in, make yourself at home.”
He leaned back, lacing his hands behind his head. “You plan on being pissed at the world forever?”
I closed my laptop, frozen on the homepage of TMZ.com, showing a picture of Brogan and Chloe. Every goddamned entertainment magazine and gossip site had a picture of her leaving his hotel room. His arm was wrapped possessively around her shoulders, while the other shielded her from the cameras.
Having your broken heart play out in front of everyone in the world was enough to ruin anyone’s mood. The clever headlines that were written just twisted the knife deeper in my soul. “Brogan’s Ex-babe Had His Baby” lead in the NY Post and “Chaos King of Country Has a Kid with Chloe” was on the cover of USA Today. I knew it was just there to grab attention and sell papers, but when they were talking about the love of your life, it started to fuck with your head.
I loosened my tie around my neck and fell back into my chair. “It’s kind of hard to put on a happy face when it feels like the world is giving you the middle finger everywhere you turn,” I said, peeking into the brown paper bag, confirming that it was a pastrami Rueben from my favorite deli. I tried to take a bite, but I couldn’t muster up the appetite.
Coffee during the day and vodka at night had been my diet for the past two days.
Brad opened a bag of chips then popped one into his mouth. “The least you could say would be, ‘thanks Brad for bringing me my favorite sandwich.’”
“Sorry, man. Not hungry,” I said, pushing the bag away. “I thought you had a plane to catch?”
“It’s good to see you, too, Jack.” He ignored my comment and shoved the sandwich back in my direction. “Eat it. You don’t need another thing you love going bad,” he said sarcastically.
“You must be confusing me with one of your lackeys, because last time I checked, detective, I didn’t take orders from you.”
Brad had recently left his job with the NYPD and relocated to Washington DC to take over his father’s security business. And by the strangest coincidences, he had just gotten engaged to the love of his life while I was mourning the loss of the very same. Lucky bastard.
He rolled his eyes so hard they practically spun like a slot machine. “So, what’s the plan? Are you just going to sit and sulk, ignore everyone’s calls, cut Tanner off, and pretend Chloe doesn’t exist anymore?”
I may have given him a little too much information last night when drowning my sorrows in a bottle of vodka. He had sent me a picture of their engagement, which made me want to throw my bottle of Tito’s across the room.
Just the mention of their names had me wanting to punch something—mainly him. I knew he wasn’t trying to gloat, yet I couldn’t help but continue to be an asshole.
I shot him a warning look. “You better watch it. You’re skating on very thin ice, my friend.”
“You’re forgetting that I’ve been in your shoes. I’ve had my heart ripped out of my chest; I’ve been lied to, too. I know the kind of damage it can do to your body and soul.”
“So, tell me. How did you move past it all? How were you able to finally let Emily go?”
If Brad had found a way to move on with his life, maybe there was hope for me after all. I’d never seen a man so distraught over a woman like he’d been until I looked in the mirror.
His breakup with Emily was rough, and the fall out was mucho ugly. I ended up smack-dab in the middle because they were both friends of mine.
He shifted in his seat. It was obvious that he still didn’t like talking about it. “It took a while. You have to give it time.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “It wasn’t until I met the right woman that I realized how wrong Emily was for me.”
My head was so screwed up I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know where I belonged anymore. It was as if my head and my heart were fighting against each other.
My life was here in Manhattan, but my heart was in South Carolina. I couldn’t focus on my work because I was too busy drowning in my own self-pity to give a shit about anything else.
This wasn’t all just about Chloe, either. I always wondered who Tanner’s father was, and if he might find his way back into his life. I’d always suspected that she was holding something back, but it didn’t stop me from falling in love with both of them. It didn’t matter now because neither one of them would be mine.
How did I fight for something that didn’t even belong to me?
Brad leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees. “I get it, man; you know I do.” He stopped as if the memory of all he went through with Emily still pained him. “She never told you who Tanner’s father was. She lied to you, and you feel like you can’t trust her. It makes you wonder what other secrets she has kept from you.” He paused briefly. “But if she’s the one, then fight for her. Trust me, don’t walk away, because no matter how hard it gets, ending up with your soul mate is so fucking worth it.”
I worked my hands around the back of my neck, trying to release the ball of tension building at the top of my spine. “How do I compete with a fucking country superstar?”
“Who says you have to?”
“Come on, Brad, he’s Tanner’s father. Plus, according to the gossip sites, they are already planning their wedding and trying for baby number two, and I don’t even have an equity stake in baby number one,” I said sarcastically.
Brad whistled, shaking his head. “Well, then it must be true if you read it on the internet or saw it in the Enquirer. No fake news there, now, is there?”
I folded my hands under my chin. “I don’t know what to believe.”
“Of course, you don’t. You bolted without even hearing her out. You haven’t listened to her messages. Why don’t you give her a chance to explain?”
“I’m pissed off; that’s why!” I yelled.
“As pissed as you are at Chloe, you can’t hold that against Tanner. It’s not his fault. He didn’t ask for any of this.”
I slammed my hands down on my desk so hard my walls shook. “You don’t think I fucking know that?” I felt my anger rise with each breath I took. “I love that kid a
s if he were my own, but he’s not, and now he never fucking will be.”
“He may not be your kid, but he still cares about you. He doesn’t give a shit if you’re his mom’s boyfriend, boss, or the damned mailman. He loves you, and he’s probably more confused now than ever. He needs you, Jack. Don’t turn your back on him because you’re hurt and wounded. That just makes you a selfish prick and that little boy deserves better.”
My body sank back in my chair feeling defeated. He was right. Tanner didn’t ask for any of this. I blew out a deep breath while looking up at the ceiling. “I’m such an asshole.”
“You’re not an asshole. You’re human, and you’re hurting right now. And if I know you at all, you’re probably going batshit crazy, creating all these ideas in your head without knowing all the facts. Get your head out of your ass and give her a chance to explain. Stop being a fucking pussy and call her.”
I leaned back and folded my hands behind my head. “Ah, there he is, my asshole friend. I was starting to wonder where you were. I was actually getting worried with you spewing all this sentimental shit.”
“You’re right. I’m an asshole.” He smirked. “You know what they say…birds of a feather flock together.”
I picked up my staple puller and chucked it at his head. He ducked in time and laughed as it sailed right over the top of him. “That all you got, tough guy?”
“Fuck you!” I laughed, and it felt good.
Brad gestured to the bag and stood up. He looked at his watch. “I gotta run. Make sure you eat this.”
“Hey, Brad.” He stopped on his way out the door to look at me. “I’m really happy for you.”
“Thanks. I appreciate it. You know what they say, in the end, everything will be all right. So, if everything’s not all right, it isn’t the end. Get it?”
“I’m glad you stopped by. Give my best to Lexi.”
He nodded. “Seriously, put something in your stomach and clear your head. Trust me, you’ll feel better once you take a step back and regroup and think things over.”
I decided at that moment to unwrap my sandwich and take a bite. As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. I needed to face this shit head-on and deal in fact, not fiction. After a couple bites, I started to feel the anger leave my body and my thoughts began to settle. It was time to man-up and head down to the Carolinas.
Chapter 28
Chloe
I paused outside of Tanner’s room as we were getting ready to leave for practice, and I found him sitting on the edge of his bed, leaving a message for Jack.
“Hey, Jack. The coach is going to give us our schedule tonight after practice, so I’ll let you know when my first game is. I hope you call me back soon. Bye…Oh, this is Tanner.”
My little boy’s voice sounded so sad. His normally fun, sweet personality was nowhere to be found. It worried me, especially with Brogan coming over later.
The last thing I wanted to do was upset my son with opening up a can of worms that would complicate his life even more. Our conversation wasn’t going to be easy, but I couldn’t deny Brogan any longer.
I leaned against the doorjamb and crossed my arms. “Hey buddy, are you almost ready?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “I guess.”
Normally he was a ball of energy, but these past few days he’s been exceptionally quiet.
“Are you still upset that we didn’t get to go to the beach yesterday?”
He sniffed, fighting back a tear. “Why did Jack leave without saying goodbye, and why did you come back looking so upset?”
I smiled and pretended that this whole situation didn’t bother me, no matter how much I was breaking apart inside. I’ve called Jack, and left dozens of messages, but he hasn’t returned a single one. He had every right to be upset with me, but there was no excuse for taking things out on an innocent little boy.
“I told you, I had something that I had to take care of, and Jack needed to get home. I’m sure he’ll call you soon.”
“Whatever.” He jumped off his bed without another word and walked over to the closet to change into his practice uniform. Once he was dressed, he threw his bag over his shoulder and sulked the entire car ride. I tried to keep the mood light by telling him a corny joke and playing his favorite music, but nothing worked. He knew that something was off between Jack and me, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to make him feel better. I felt like the worst mother in the world.
Tanner’s practice let out a few minutes early. Normally, that would have made me happy, but I was hoping to stretch this night out as long as possible. I was nervous and had no idea how the conversation was going to play out. Having a shitty night’s sleep last night didn’t help either.
Brogan rose from his folding chair and dusted off his jeans. He was wearing a Nike baseball cap, a pair of sunglasses, a black Under Armour shirt and black Converse Chuck Taylors. He was trying to blend in, but even dressed down, Brogan Hayes still attracted attention. It seemed like every female at practice noticed him.
There were a few media outlets that had gotten wind of our story, so there was quite a bit of chatter going through our small little town. I was concerned that him coming here would draw too much attention, but thankfully everyone has left us alone.
The practice was over, and Tanner approached me as he came walking through the infield grass. Brogan stood tall, his eyes blinking rapidly. He looked absolutely petrified.
“Hey,” I hesitated slightly and took his bag from his shoulder. “You looked great out there.”
He squinted his eyes in the sun. “Thanks.” He peeked over at Brogan, giving him a wary look. “Aren’t you the guy from my mom’s work yesterday?”
Brogan swallowed nervously. His eyes were locked on mine. “Yeah, I hope it’s okay that I’m here. I told your mom I wanted to watch your practice. I used to play in high school. You got a pretty strong left arm. I was a lefty too.”
“My coach said it will work to my advantage.”
Brogan chuckled. “It sure will. I can give you a few pointers sometime if you’d like?”
I sucked in a breath. This was something Jack and Tanner did together, and it would crush Brogan if he turned him down.
I quickly grabbed his hand before he could say anything. “That’s awfully nice of you. Maybe you guys could talk more about baseball after dessert. I have Tanner’s favorite homemade ice cream cake sitting in the freezer. Why don’t we head back to the house, before it gets too late.”
Brogan nodded his head while I led Tanner through the park.
Thankfully, it was a short ride to my house, and Brogan drove separately, giving me the space I needed.
Tanner turned his game off and unbuckled his seat belt when we turned in the driveway. Brogan pulled his rental in behind me.
Tanner swerved his head when he noticed the black Ford pickup truck. He gave me an annoyed look. “How do you know that guy?”
I pulled the keys out of the ignition and shoved them in my purse. “I told you earlier. He’s a friend from college.”
As far as Tanner knew, Brogan was just an old friend passing through town.
“How come you never mentioned him before?”
I forgot how inquisitive he could be. “We lost touch over the years.”
Tanner stared at me from underneath his baseball cap. “Is he why Jack left yesterday?”
I leaned against the door and took a few calming breaths.
Brogan walked up and tapped on my window. “Come on,” I said, thankful for the disruption and opened my door. “Let’s go eat some ice-cream cake.”
We stepped into the living room, and Tanner kicked off his dirty cleats, sending dirt flying all over my hardwood floor. He then pulled his dirty white socks off, and trudged to the bathroom to clean up.
I shook my head and picked up the dirty socks and shoes and put them in the laundry room and got a towel to wipe up the mess.
I took in a slow breath and wiped my clammy hands down the fro
nt of my shorts before rushing into the kitchen.
I rummaged through the freezer and pulled the ice-cream cake out and set it on the counter. Brogan stopped in the middle of the room, his tall frame looking completely out of place in my modest cottage. He made it seem smaller than it actually was.
Having him here made me nervous.
He passed by me and stood in the small corner of the kitchen, admiring all of Tanner’s artwork hanging on the fridge door.
Brogan stared at the picture that Tanner drew of Yankees stadium. He looked curious as he pointed to the stick figures wearing blue and white pinstriped uniforms. “Is he a Yankees fan?”
“He is,” I said, while carefully taking the lid off the cake so it could thaw out. The Yankees were what bonded Tanner and Jack together. Brogan, however, was an Atlanta Braves fan—always has been and always will be.
“Hmm,” was all he said and walked over to the slider to look in the backyard. He placed his hands on his hips as his gaze swept across the yard. It wasn’t much, but it was all that we needed. I’m sure it was nothing compared to the mansion he lived in now. It was a harsh reminder of how different our worlds were.
Brogan has come a long way from eating buttered noodles out of the studio apartment we shared in Myrtle Beach.
He turned and stared at me from across my small kitchen. His fingers fidgeted with the watch around his wrist. “It looks like you guys are happy here.”
“We are. I know it’s not much, but...” I started to offer an apology, but he cut me off.
“Hey. It’s perfect. I may have a bigger house and more money, but I’m still the guy you used to live with in that cramped, off-campus apartment.” His smile softened, and I sighed with relief. He had no idea how much I needed to hear that.
