Diary of Mr. TDH AKA Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome - Book 1

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Diary of Mr. TDH AKA Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome - Book 1 Page 2

by Carine Engelbrecht

screaming words that I could not understand.

  My mouth went dry, my heart pounded in my chest and my mind almost went blank. Grandma Mary grabbed my arm and told me to wake; this was not my fight or story. “Wake-up Richard!”

  I opened my eyes and I was in my bedroom safe and sound, with the fob watch around my neck. Strangely it was warm and seemed to be very bright.

  What a dream! Talk about an over-active imagination! But it had seemed so real, like I was really there. I rolled over, said goodnight to Mom and went to sleep.

  School was okay today. Jeremy’s cousin, Gretel is in our class. She seems like a really nice girl; pretty quiet, but kind and thoughtful. Her family sent Dad and I a sympathy card. Today I talked to her for the first time and thanked her. She was so funny, her face went really red and she stammered that she was really sorry for my loss. I think I’d like to be her friend. She is the only girl in the class who is making an effort to make the new girl, Madonna, feel welcome.

  Seriously, some of the kids in our class are so mean. I’m not sure if they are even aware…but they really know how to put people down. They act really tough, like they don’t care. I think that secretly they just want to fit in and maybe they are scared to stand up to the tough kids. What is that saying? If you can’t beat them…join them. If you have to be mean spirited and nasty to get attention, then it isn’t worth it. Funny thing is, when you get them by themselves, most of them are quite nice. Peer pressure, man does it cause problems! And if I have to act like the footy jocks to be in the cool group, they can have it.

  Thursday

  Good night diary. Nothing to report today. Oh, except that Madonna smiled at me. Sweet dreams!

  Oh, and tonight I’m putting the fob watch in my drawer, just in case I dream again.

  Night Mom, I love you.

  Friday

  Our first cooking session with Miss Moffat. I am in a group with Gretel and Madonna (the new girl). Gretel is pretty confident and seems to know what she is doing. Just as we have finished cutting up the vegetables and chicken, a phone call comes through, asking for Gretel to go to the office so she can go home.

  Panic started to overtake me. But then Madonna stepped up. She seemed so confident. We were the first to finish and our dish looked delicious. That was until Miss Moffat tasted it. The chicken was raw! It wasn’t cooked through.

  Miss Moffat’s face turned white, then green. She burped and then projectile vomited. It landed on my shirt. It was like being in a horror movie. When I realized what was happening, I jumped back, but it was too late. I was covered in vomit.

  I didn’t know what to say, so I just walked out of the classroom and went to the toilets. The smell attacked my nostrils and when I took off my shirt I found a hunk of raw chicken. I felt hot and clammy and then I started to throw up as well. At least my vomit went into the toilet!

  Sunday

  Lately my head has been really itchy. Dad told me that sometimes stress and nerves can make your scalp itchy. So naturally I believed him and didn’t give it a second thought. I went to the hairdressers today. How embarrassing! I’ve got head lice! The hairdresser, who is really young and pretty, started to comb my hair and then she stopped. She called over an older lady and they both started looking closely at my scalp. The older lady announced in a loud voice, “You’ve got lice! We can’t cut your hair; you’ll have to treat your head lice first.”

  The young hairdresser looked at me, smiled and shrugged her shoulders, as the older one kept going on about different treatments I could buy from the chemist. Everyone in the salon looked at me, like I was a leper. I could feel my face catching on fire. I looked in the mirror and my face had gone a tomato shade of red. I left as quickly as I could.

  Then I had to go to the chemist and buy some treatment. I chose one and tried to hide it as I went to the counter. A few people were being served, so I waited until they had left and quickly gave it to the girl at the checkout. She tried to scan it and it didn’t register, so she pulled over a microphone and asked for a price check on the Nitfree Head lice Treatment. I felt like melting into the cracks between the tiles. Then she asked if I wanted a bag. Hello, of course I wanted a bag!

  I had to do it myself when I got home. Mom used to do so much for me, she was so loving. I combed the lotion through my hair. With the number of lice I found, I could have started up my own lice circus. Imagine that, The Amazing Nit Show brought to you by Richard Jones!

  Now where did I pick them up from? Maybe Burt, he is always scratching. I make a mental note, never sit close to him or let him use my hat, EVER!!!!

  Monday

  The funniest thing happened at school today. Well it was funny and really embarrassing. In English my teacher collected our homework on the Merchant of Venice. I really don’t like reading old stories. He started reading the new girl’s reflections. It said something like this:

  The quality of mercy is not strained, but falls like the gentle rain. I wish Mr. Albert would give me some mercy and seat me next to hunky Richard Jones.

  I felt my face blush. I’m sure I looked like Elmo! Everyone started laughing and cheering. I felt like I was on fire. My hands broke into an instant sweat. I looked at Madonna and her face was also bright red. She looked in shock!

  Our teacher asked who is Mr. Albert. Madonna just stumbled over that question, saying it was just her imagination. Thank goodness the bell went and we could both escape outside. I didn’t see her during the lunch break, she disappeared very quickly.

  Of course everyone was talking about it during lunch. I was constantly teased about being hunky. We guessed that she called our teacher Mr. Albert because he has frizzy hair like Albert Einstein. She really does have a great sense of humor. Just thinking about her brings a smile to my face.

  This is all kind of weird for me. No girl has ever shown me the least bit of interest. I’m not cool and I’m certainly not hunky. But knowing that she might think that, does make me feel pretty special.

  After lunch we went to our art class. Madonna sat on the opposite side of the room to me and kept her head down. I wanted to talk to her and tell her that everything was okay, but she wouldn’t make eye contact. I feel so sorry for her.

  Nathan came over to me and slapped me on the back saying, “Hey hunky, how’s it going?” I just ignored him, he isn’t very nice. Little did I know that he was actually playing a trick on me. He had put a sign on my back and it said:

  Madonna Loves Richard the Hunk!

  Unfortunately my friends walked out before me and didn’t see it. I walked all the way down the hall and to the bus stop before I realized that something was wrong. It was the constant sniggering and wolf whistling which followed me that told me something was wrong. Why do kids have to be so cruel? Luckily Madonna didn’t see it, she was one of the first to leave the classroom. She took off like a rocket!

  I don’t like being teased, but I have to admit, I’m kind of thrilled that she might like me.

  Saturday

  Dad sat in front of the TV all day…watching sport. I spent most of the day in my room, going through old photo albums. My Mom was such a beautiful woman. She had the best smile!

  I’m really good on the computer and I love to make graphics. So today I scanned pictures of my Mom and made a video collage, it looks awesome. My favorite one is when she first held me in hospital. She looked so young and soft. Her eyes were so beautiful, full of love. I also found some funny ones. Mom was such a clown…always pulling faces and photo bombing. I showed it to Dad, but he started to tear up and walked away.

  Then I went for a bike ride.

  Sunday

  When I woke up this morning, Dad had already gone. He left a note saying that he had work to finish at his office and would be home for lunch.

  Hmmmm…….

  What to do?

  I decided to go for a bike ride. I love going down this really big hill near my school. The wind flies through my hair and I go really fast. I just have to watc
h out for cars backing out of their driveways.

  At the bottom of the hill I skidded to a stop, got off my bike and took my drink out of my backpack.

  “What are you up to?” said a familiar voice from behind. It was Ted Martin, a family friend who is in my class. Now I wouldn’t call Ted a close friend, but we have a mutual respect thing going. You see Ted lost his Mom when he was really young. He can barely remember her. My Mom used to bake for their family every weekend and she always invited Ted to my birthday parties and for plays after school. After Mom passed (I find it really hard to use the word died) he would come round after school and just sit with me, watching TV. We didn’t talk about it, but one day he looked at me and said, “I know.” Those two words said it all.

  The other kids at school don’t really like Ted. He can be really mean, but I think it is because he is looking for attention. His Dad works really long hours at the local brick works and he isn’t very loving or kind. Mom used to say that Ted was trying to make himself feel better by putting others down. She tried to talk to him about it, but I don’t think he understood.

  He does stupid things like pouring glue into tidy boxes, sticking gum under other people’s desks, throwing rubbers during class and breaking other kids’ rulers. Lately he has started taking food from some of the kids. He is almost becoming a “stand over man”. The worst thing is that he does it so meanly

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