by Ron Vitale
I adjusted my knapsack on my back and headed up the gangway ramp onto the whaling ship. Her tall masts rose up high into the sky with sails furled. On deck and off to the right, an older man stared at me. He had his hair tied up in a ponytail and earrings on both ears. His tattooed arms bore resemblances of bears. “What might I do for you?”
His fine diction surprised me as I expected that he would not be so articulate. “I am here to join the crew.” I scratched my armpit and blew out some mucus from my nose right onto the deck.
The man’s eyebrows rose, and before he could shout at me, I dropped to my knees and wiped up the mess with parts of my shirt. “Sorry, sir. I meant no disrespect.” I finished wiping up the mucus and glanced up at him. His blue pants and clean white shirt spoke much to his distaste around a mess. “Give me a mop and I’ll clean her all up for you.”
He went to smack me across the head but held back his hand. “Maybe we’ll do a trial and see what type of worker you are.” He eyed me up, and I stood back up with a smile on my face. “But that won’t guarantee that you’ll be taken on. Understand?”
“I won’t let you down. I won’t. Just give me a chance, and I’ll have the deck spotless.” I pointed over to a bucket off to the starboard side of the ship. “Can I use that?”
“Yeah, you can use that.” He used a toothpick on his yellow teeth and watched me.
“Am I the first here to try out for the crew?” I brought the bucket over and put it down on the deck by my feet. “My name’s Morgan. What’s yours?” I talked in a low voice and worked hard to hide my sex.
“John.” He tipped a pretend hat at me and sat on a barrel by me. “You know that Captain Amos won’t be seeing any of the crew for hours yet.”
I pulled a wet brush from the bucket and started scrubbing the deck. “That gives me more time to prove my worth. I know I might look scrawny but I’m a hard worker and willing to prove it.”
John grunted a laugh and then coughed into his hand. He chewed a thick wad of tobacco and the mucus-filled cough incapacitated him for a moment. After a few rough coughs, he turned toward the water and spat out the wad of nicotine. “You sure do look scrawny, but it’s your intelligence that I like.”
I scrubbed harder, and in my faded shirt, I appeared stronger than I actually was. When I needed more water for the brush, I plunged it into my bucket and then scrubbed a spot farther away from John. I kept my eyes low and kept working.
As if he had been having a conversation with himself in his head, John nodded and said, “And that’s another thing that I like about you. You not only work hard, but I have seen right through your ploy. You came here early on purpose so you could show me how hard of a worker you are. I like that.” He pulled out a handkerchief and wiped the sweat from his brow. “And your plan worked. There’s no one else here.”
I smiled up at him but scrubbed harder not pausing while I worked. “I want a spot on this ship and news was at the inn from George that you would treat me fair with not only a decent wage but would teach me all that I needed to know.”
“Old George said that about us, did he?” John came down off the barrel and surveyed my work. “He told you true, and I’ll thank him for his kindness when we’re next back in port.”
My heart beat fast but I did not want to assume that I had won my spot on the Marcella so easily. I finished the surrounding area and put the bucket back and went through the deck, testing the lines were properly secured. John wandered off to the opposite end of the ship, but I did notice him glancing over his shoulder from time to time to keep an eye on me.
With the deck clean, lines secured, I went on through the litany of tasks that my father had taught me since before I could speak. Keeping up a ship took a lot of work and many skilled men. I had always dreamed of going on a ship, traveling the seas to exotic and wondrous places, but my sex had always stopped me. Yet how easy it was to put on a simple disguise with some dirt and come on board. The secret that I had found is to always pretend you know what you’re doing or that you belonged wherever you were. Most men wouldn’t question that because in their world a man’s confidence spoke volumes.
I headed to the stern and checked that the lines were secure on the rowboat hanging off the back of the ship. The crew of the Marcella kept their home in perfect shape. My father would have been pleased. But I continued my inspection of the lines and found a spot on the deck that needed scrubbing. I fetched my bucket and went back to the stern to scrub. I enjoyed the work as it helped me forget my troubles. My cleaning fixed a problem, made better the boat, and, as simple as it might sound, helped me create some order in a chaotic world.
A man’s shadow fell over me, but I kept cleaning. The man watched me as I worked. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see it wasn’t John. If I wanted to get a spot on the ship, I would have to pass this test as well. Though it was hours yet before Ishmael and other sailors would come to the ship, I had best use my time to shine.
“Who taught you how to check lines?” The gruff voice held much wisdom in it, and I turned around to see a middle-aged man. He had long black hair that he wore in a ponytail and a captain’s hat. A scar on his left cheek marked him, but otherwise he appeared wholesome and clean-shaven.
“My father did, Captain.” I knelt on the deck, pausing to pay him notice. “When I was young, he taught me about the chores on a ship and of the hard work it took to run it.”
“Then how come you’re here now on my ship and not with him?” Captain Amos asked though I suspected he already knew the answer.
“The sea took my father many years ago.” I straightened my back to show I was not ashamed of my father’s fate. “And now I go off to work to bring money home for my mother. It is my turn now to help and earn my way.”
Captain Amos pulled out a pipe from a pocket and stuck it in his mouth. A neat click sounded when he caught the pipe in his teeth. “What is the number one rule of a ship?”
I smiled at this one because it was one my father always told me. “Always listen to your captain.”
“Then what if I tell you to go?” Captain Amos sized me up watching me.
I put down my brush and stood up tall. “If he were to ask me to leave now, then I would listen because he had my best interest in heart.” I placed my hands, folded, in front of me and asked, “Would you like me to leave, Captain?”
He paused a moment, and a slight smile broke out on his face. He scratched the scar in his cheek and replied, “No, I’d rather have you stay, but I wanted to see if you knew what the rule of the ship was.”
“Thank you.” I knelt back to the deck and continued to scrub. My plan had worked. I started to scrub the deck again but stopped a moment and asked, “When I’m finished here, would you like me to go below the deck and clean out the bathrooms?”
“Yes, I would. You’ll make a good impression on the rest of the crew. Everyone always hates that job.” He thought a moment and then gave me a boon. “But before doing that, finish here and grab your sack and go claim your bunk. You’ve earned it.”
Captain Amos turned away, and I could not stop from smiling. I had done it. Now I only needed to stay out of sight until we left port. When the time was right, I’d reveal myself to Ishmael, and we’d be on our way.
***
A flurry of activity from the crew announced that the Marcella had left dock. I could feel the boat shift once we left port and then hit the open seas. With still several hours of summer light left in the day, the crew ran about doing their tasks, and I kept a low profile. I had selected a bunk in the corner of a room that would be the easiest to escape if I had more challenges with seasickness than I had planned. I stopped for a moment and took a deep breath. The smell of men and tobacco hung heavy in the area—a musky smell filled with the scent of unwashed bodies I would soon become accustomed to.
John strode into the cabin with his hands on his big belly. “Morgan, come up on deck. I’ve some jobs for you to do, and it’s time that you learn your way about the ship.�
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“Coming.” I fixed the cap on my head and followed him to the nearest ladder.
“Captain’s put me in charge of you. What I say, you’ll do. Where I tell you to go, you go. Why I ask doesn’t matter. Understood?”
“Got it.” I arrived up on deck and the mid-afternoon sun shone bright. The sky held no clouds, and off to the west, far-off, I could barely make out land. In my haste to get on the boat, I didn’t even stop to ask where we were headed. I only knew we were going whaling and hoped that would take me closer to my brother.
John whistled as he walked across the deck and stopped to check the rigging of the largest mast on the ship. A dark-skinned man glistened with sweat as he worked. He waved to John as we passed, and I kept an eye out for Ishmael. What if he hadn’t made it to the ship in time and I was alone?
“We’re going up above, and I’m going to teach you how to spot a whale. Come on.” John climbed up the netting of ropes to the crow’s nest and beckoned me to follow him.
I put my foot on the first rung on the netting and leaned forward, grabbing the higher rungs with both my hands. The feel of the rope calmed me, and I moved my body forward, taking a steady pace up to the top. I had trained hard before leaving home. When I reached the platform’s landing, John reached for my hand and pulled me up the rest of the way.
“Never seen anything like this before, have you?” He stretched his arm out and surveyed the open sea. Far down below, I could see the crew going about their business, securing riggings and carrying down the remaining supplies into the ship’s hold. Each man had his purpose, and from up on high, I could see how they all worked together yet independently. A maze of muscle and sweat that worked in harmony.
I glanced up and out at the sea, and the warm wind brushed my face. Subtle, yet distinct, I could taste the sea salt on my lips. The sun hung off in the west, and still there were no clouds. At this height, I could see more of the land, but it was so far-off that it looked like a mirage to me. I could no longer make out any of the buildings from New Bedford. All was a thin smear on the horizon. Ahead I saw nothing but the blue and open sea. “It’s beautiful.”
“Yes, it is.” John smiled and leaned forward on the platform’s rails. “But it’s dangerous too. You’ve never been on a ship before, right?”
I thought to lie to him, but what good would it bring? “No, I haven’t.” I lowered my eyes, fearing he might cast me off the ship and send me back swimming alone.
“I remember my first time on a ship and how scared I was. I kept dreaming that the boat would sink in my sleep and I’d drown.” He laughed and turned to me with a stern look emblazoned on his face. “The sea will do wild things to your mind after you’ve been out here for a while. You might be afraid of drowning, or of sharks, or that you’ll be swept away by some sirens—each man has his own demons to face.” He scratched the back of his head and then patted me hard on the back. “Just don’t fight them. Accept that you’re afraid and admit it. Tell someone you trust, and it’ll be easier on you.”
I nodded and knew not how to respond. Before I could think more, I caught a splash in the ocean from the port side. I pointed. “Look!”
John turned to look, and moments later, a dolphin leaped out of the sea. Its sleek body glistened in the sun. “That’s a good sign.” We watched and after another minute, John pointed out three other dolphins chasing after the first. “Never a bad sight to start a whaling adventure by seeing dolphins. Definitely a good sign.” He leaned over the platform and yelled down below. “Port side. Four dolphins!”
The nearest crew member below whistled and pointed the dolphins out to the nearest man, and within moments, the news had spread throughout the ship. I watched the sea creatures play as they swam fast and hard, chasing the leader, and then, as if they knew we watched them, they turned toward the ship and swam by us.
We watched them for a time, and I took in the warm sun on my face and closed my eyes. Between the breeze and the sun on my face, I felt transported to a better time on a beach with my family. I smiled and remembered…
A swat on the back of my head disrupted my daydreaming. “Never close your eyes up here. You might miss a whale. Got it?”
“Yes, sir.” I massaged my head and blinked tears out of my eyes.
John took pity on me for a moment and asked, “Tell me true now. How old are you really?”
I could not tell him my real age. I deepened my voice and replied, “I’m fifteen.”
“You’ve a lot to learn, but we’ll make sure that you’re taken care of. A crew always protects its own.” He said the words and nodded with a wisdom heavy with years of experience.
And then I spied Ishmael below tying down the cockboat right behind the main deck. His hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and his muscled arms glistened with sweat. He worked alone and with fierce purpose. I hid my smile, and a fear that I was alone melted from my heart. He had kept his word. Ishmael had made it onto the ship, and now the two of us sailed out into the wild ocean together. When he finally found me, he could no longer force me to turn around. The only concern that remained was that he would turn me in and reveal my womanhood to the captain and crew of the Marcella. I was no fool to think that no matter how hard I worked, if my sex was discovered, there would be no mercy for me. The men would lose their trust in me, and their belief would fall like scales from their eyes. Ishmael could harm me permanently and trap me in my sex with a simple accusation that the captain would investigate, and I would be discovered. All my work would be tossed to the wind. I needed to tread carefully and with purpose when I met with Ishmael. He would not be pleased to see me.
I turned to John and pointed down at Ishmael. “He looks different than the others and stands out. Who is he?”
He glanced down below at Ishmael’s impressive frame and nodded. “Some say that we are unlucky to have him on board but our captain knows more than those fools.” He chose his words carefully and stuck a piece of tobacco in his mouth. “That’s Ishmael. He survived the sinking of the Pequod a few years back by the white beast. Ever hear of that story?”
“No, I haven’t.” I lied. “Tell me about it.”
“Captain Ahab, God rest his soul, chased after the white devil of a whale until they fought face to face, and in the end, the whale took down the boat, Ahab, and every soul but Ishmael. A tragedy it was that all were lost but him.”
“I’m surprised that he would want to get back onto a ship after what happened.” I leaned on the platform’s rail, crossed my arms, and watched Ishmael work.
“I hear you. They say that whaling’s in his blood and that every few months he goes out on a short tour. But I guess he’s changed his mind if he’s going with us. We’ll be out long on the hunt.”
“He works differently than the rest of the crew. I can see that.” I looked away and then kept focused on the sea so that John wouldn’t whack me again.
“You have a keen eye to notice that. He works with purpose and is not motivated by money like the rest of the crew. Sailing is in his blood as is whaling. He does it for a different purpose, and it shows in his work. I’m pleased to have him on board with us. I expect I’ll learn from him. He ties such strong knots that match only a few others I’ve seen over the years.” John chewed the wad of tobacco in his mouth for a few moments and the only sound I could hear was the smacking of his lips and the wind blowing through the sails.
“I have a question for you.” I scratched my armpit and kept looking at the blue sea that stretched out toward the horizon.
“Yeah?” John asked.
“If I see a whale, what would I do?” I thought it best to shift the conversation away from Ishmael and back to me. Too much curiosity in the man might give my true intentions away.
John chuckled and then coughed into his hand. “Why, do you see one?” He scanned the water looking for a break in the ocean.
“I wish I did, but I don’t. I just want to be ready.” I scanned from the port to the starboard side,
trying to find a whale, but knew that if the dolphins were still near us that most likely no whale would be close by.
“You would yell out whale and ring this bell here.” He put his hand on the large bell but did not touch the string that would ring it. “Then you would point in the direction of the whale and call out how far and what direction.”
“But what about—”
“Listen, before you question. Let me finish teaching you and then you can ask. There will be plenty of time for questions. We have many days on the ship together.” John coughed again into his hand and spit onto the platform at our feet. A wad of tobacco and mucus shot to a corner. “You will not be up here by yourself but with an experienced spotter. He’ll teach you the ropes on what you’ll need to know, and you’ll learn from him. I’m going to have you follow each crewman for a few days so that you can learn all the parts of the ship. That way I’ll get to see not only what you’re good at but what you take best to. The two may not be the same, and I’ll have a better understanding, as will you, on whether sailing is for you or if this will be a short trip.”
“You won’t leave me at sea if I don’t make it, will you?” I couldn’t hide the fear in my voice.
“We would not be that cruel to you. We are honorable men.” He turned toward me and then said, “But we might leave you off at a town that we dock in if you prove to be untrustworthy or cause harm to another member of this ship.”
“I would never do that.” The words flowed off my tongue and I stood tall. “You took me in, and I would not betray your trust like that.”
“I don’t expect you would, but I have seen it before.” He let his words trail off and then rolled up his sleeves and scratched his chin. “I think that for your first pairing that since you took a liking to Ishmael that you’ll go with him starting tomorrow.”
A lump formed in my throat, and I cursed myself inwardly for my stupid mistake. “Thank you. I’ll be honored to learn from him.”
“You should be. He’ll teach you a lot. Much more than I ever could. But I warn you, he’s not a chatty fellow like me. He’ll want to work so listen to him and learn. Understand?”
