by Wood, Lauren
That didn’t mean that I could ignore my mother’s words though. My heart was beating against my chest quite rapidly as I tried to think back to when I had slept with Ezra. I hadn’t been on birth control at the time. I still wasn’t, considering that I wasn’t the kind of woman to just go sleeping around. But the more that I thought about it, the more that I realized that I couldn’t remember Ezra slipping a condom on.
In fact, I was almost certain that he’d fucked me raw. It felt too good and happened too fast for us to have used protection. And I hadn’t even thought of taking the morning-after pill. This was beginning to seem bad the more I remembered about our encounters. How had we not thought about any of this and taken any precautions? And if all of this was true, how was Ezra going to react when he found out? He hadn’t bothered to ask me whether or not I was protected, and he’d been the one to suggest that we did all of this.
There was no way that he could say that this was my fault. Yes, maybe I should have told him about not being on birth control, but he’d never asked. That was certainly not something he should have assumed about me. And he was far more experienced with this kind of thing than I was. If he was going around having unprotected sex with everyone he’d been with, who knows how many kids he’d fathered out there in the world. And he definitely should have bought a condom. He had plenty of time to prepare for our “date.” It took two to tango, and if he dared to put all of the responsibility on me, then he would find just how sharp claws I had.
“Maybe you should…” my mother began before the door opened, and one of the nurses walked in. She was a brunette that had been helping us for the past couple of days. She was nice, as well, so I supposed we’d lucked out with that.
“I’m just going to run a few tests,” she told us. “Make sure everything is all good for you to get out of here, as sad as we’ll be to see you go! Is there anything I can get you to make you more comfortable?”
“Actually, I’d like to ask for something for my daughter,” Maria told the nurse. “Do you guys happen to have any pregnancy tests?”
My eyes bulged out of my head when I heard my mother’s words. Was she serious? Was she actually doing this, here, in front of other people? Was she insane? I could feel my entire face turning red from the pure embarrassment that I felt when she had brought this up to the nurse.
“Mom, are you serious?!” I exclaimed.
“If you need one then you need one, mija. There’s no reason for you to feel nervous about it.”
“Well, I do!” I sputtered helplessly.
“Oh stop it.” Her attention turned back to the nurse. “Do you guys have any?”
She nodded, smiling kindly at my frustration. “We do. Let me run these tests, and then I’ll run and get you one.”
The entire atmosphere felt incredibly awkward to me because of the question that my mother had asked, but the nurse seemed to make the best out of it while she wrote notes all over her clipboard and checked the screens monitoring my mother’s conditions.
“Everything looks good,” she reiterated with a smile on her face. “I’m going to report these to the doctor so she can sign the paperwork! I’ll be right back and get you that pregnancy test that you’ve been asking for.”
“Great, thanks,” my mother said, that stupid smirk on her face.
Once the nurse disappeared, I squeezed her hand. “What’s the actual matter with you?” I asked her, unable to believe what she’d just done. This was my personal business, and she was weaving her way into it although I’d never asked for her to.
“Well, baby, you need to know.”
“Not like that I don’t. That wasn’t fair, and you know it. You just want me to be pregnant because you want grandchildren. Mom, it doesn’t work like that. You haven’t even stopped to ask whether or not I’m ready.”
“You’re right,” she said. “And I’m sorry. But this will be good for you. We’ll know for sure, one way or another. Then I’ll ask you if you’re ready.”
I knew that my mother was right, but that didn’t mean that I was ready to accept her words. The nurse came back a few minutes later, and she handed the box to me, a bit awkwardly. “I brought you a two pack, just in case. We always recommend women take at least a couple. You never know if there’s turned out to be a fluke and you get worried or excited over nothing! Trust me on that.”
“Thank you,” my mother told her, and I just nodded, still trying to grasp everything that was happening. My head was spinning.
When the nurse left, my mom immediately gazed at me. “Now, go to the bathroom and pee on the sticks.”
“Don’t say it like that.”
“But that’s the fun way to say it!” She protested. The twinkle in her eye after so many weeks of sickness almost made it all the stress she was giving me worth it. Almost.
I rolled my eyes and went into the bathroom, hoping that I was going to be able to prove my mother wrong. Besides, I didn’t even know if now was a good time to have a baby. I doubted that I was even remotely prepared. Surely that counted for something, biologically.
I peed on both tests and then waited the two minutes until they were both ready. I gasped.
Both of the tests were positive.
13
Ezra
Today was the day. I was finally getting to see Quinn again, and my heart was racing from pure excitement. I’d been counting the days ever since she’d told me that she was moving her mother into a nursing home. It’d been three days and then two, and then, finally, one. Now, I was getting to see her even though I knew that it wasn’t going to be the best reunion.
She would see me and then I was going to be forced to break her heart. Nothing in me wanted to hurt her, and parts of me were still saying that I didn’t have to do this, that I could take the words back before they were even said. But I knew the truth. This had to be done, whether I wanted it to or not.
Ginny had already gone home. She’d been paid for three weeks, and her final day was yesterday. I would have liked for her to stay so that I could offer her the full-time position, but she had other people that she had to tend to. Her next clients weren’t even in the country, as crazy as that was.
Apparently there were people that could pay more than even me, and I didn’t begrudge her the opportunity to travel and make another family happy.
Her leaving was probably for the best, honestly. Paige hadn’t clicked with her like she had with Quinn. And how was I even going to find someone that Paige liked as much as the blonde? Was it an impossible task? Whether it was or wasn’t, I had to try anyway. This was the best decision that I could make, and I was sure about that even if others didn’t agree with me.
One of those others was my brother, Klaus. He was sitting at the kitchen bar, shaking his head, in disappointment. For once, I’d noticed that he was actually serious, which was very unlike his normal attitude. He was the king of jokesters, yet when it came to Quinn, he was acting as if me firing her was a real injustice.
Why did he have to be so dramatic?
Paige was upstairs in her room, playing around with some of her toys, which I thought was for the best. I didn’t want her to hear me firing the best nanny that she’d ever had…and the only one that she’d ever loved.
“You don’t have to do this,” Klaus reminded me for the millionth time. He’d been on her side ever since I told him that I was going to fire her. He didn’t see my reasoning for it. All jokes about her good looks aside, he said that she had a work ethic unlike any of my other hires. And maybe he was right. But our relationship had just gone too far.
I sighed. “Yes I do.”
“This is going to crush her.”
“I realize that.”
“Then why are you doing it?”
“Because we slept together!” I snapped. “And I want her constantly. She can’t mess up my life like this.”
“All because Gabriella died?” he asked. “And now you can’t open yourself up to any woman? Are you even heari
ng yourself right now?”
“It’s my decision, Klaus,” I reminded him. “Not yours.”
“And you’re making the wrong one.”
“Maybe I am,” I said, simply. “But that’s up to me to make that judgement. I don’t have any other options.”
“You have other options,” Klaus argued with me. “You’re choosing not to use them. When are you planning on telling her anyways?”
“After I pick her up.”
“And you don’t think it’s douchey at all to give her such bad news after she’s had to worry about her mother for the last three weeks?”
“Her personal life is none of my concern.”
“Stop bull-shitting yourself.”
“And what do you care about?” I asked. “You’re no better than me.”
“Quinn is a good girl, and she doesn’t deserve any of this. If you don’t realize that, then you never deserved her in the first place,” he insisted.
My brother’s words hit me harder than I was willing to admit. I wanted to explain to him that I didn’t want to do any of this, but it was out of my hands, that I cared about her more than he could tell. But why waste my breath? Klaus wasn’t going to believe me anyway. He was just like everyone else in the world who saw me as a cold-hearted bastard.
“You’re going to watch Paige for me while I go and pick up Quinn.” It was a statement, not a request.
He was frowning at me. “I wish that I could say no.”
I didn’t respond. Instead, my eyes darted back to the clock. Her flight would be landing soon, and I needed to get to the airport. I stared at Klaus a little bit longer, contemplating his words before letting out a deep breath and walking outside. I picked one of my faster, sleeker cars before putting my seatbelt on and putting the key in the ignition, hearing the engine purr as the car came to life. She sounded absolutely beautiful.
I had to enter the instructions to the GPS, and I couldn’t stop myself from wondering how Quinn expected to get her car back, considering that she’d driven originally. I wondered if she had even thought about that before she got onto the plane. Stressful situations often left people making rushed decisions without thinking them all the way through. Well, I figured that I’d help her out with that too and get something worked out for her.
The airport wasn’t a far drive from my house, only a good half hour or so, which was why I didn’t rush when I saw the time. For some odd reason, the traffic was never bad in this area, so I’d known that I was going to get there in time. Besides, I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t incredibly punctual.
When I parked the car, I found my heartbeat picking up the more that I thought about actually seeing her. Why did it feel like it had been years when it had only been a couple of weeks? How was I going to handle being away from her for the foreseeable future?
The answer was simple. I wouldn’t.
I didn’t wait long in the lobby before passengers started streaming out of the exits. She came out, and I was hit by how beautiful she was. Had she gotten more attractive while she was away? Her hair seemed like it’d gotten longer, although I knew it was her by those big green eyes I’d come to enjoy seeing daily.
She headed right over to me with her suitcases dragging behind her. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me.
“It’s been way too long,” she told me, a huge grin on her face. I was astonished that she was so happy to see me. And I let out a deep breath when I realized that it wouldn’t last, not after I told her the truth.
“It has been a long time,” I said into her ear, finding myself actually hugging her back. So unlike me. That was the thing about Quinn. She made me a different person even if I didn’t realize.
“Did you miss me?” She asked playfully.
“Don’t get your hopes up. Now, grab your bags and let’s go.”
She didn’t seem that fazed by my words as she took her suitcase and followed me to the car. I helped her load them onto the truck before I opened her door and allowed for her to get inside of the car.
While she settled in, I put the car radio on low, so that it wasn’t blasting out the window.
“How’s your mom?” I asked, sending her a quick glance as I got back onto the road and began driving home. I was hoping to hear nothing but good news.
“She’s doing exceptionally well,” Quinn told me, grinning as she thought about it. “We got her all moved into the retirement home, and she loves it.”
“I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks.” She looked at me. “How’s Paige?”
“Missing you,” I answered truthfully.
“Well, I miss her too.”
The car ride home was full of small talk, with her telling me all about how the trip had been. I wanted to be happier for her, but all I could think about was the fact that this would be the last time that she willingly spoke to me, that she actually liked me. When I told her the truth, I was already convinced that it meant I was going to lose her forever. I wish that I didn’t have to, but unfortunately, it was a risk that I was willing to take.
And I felt worse about it with her asking about Paige. Their relationship wasn’t fake, far from it, and I was going to mess that all up just because I couldn’t bear to work with her. I wished, so badly, that I didn’t have to make this decision. But my mind had already been made, and once it had, there was nothing that could change it.
Once we got back to the house, I opened the door for Quinn before taking her bags out of the car. But I didn’t dare walk them to the house. I didn’t want her getting any ideas that I wanted to be more than friends with her, which was also the reason I hadn’t carried her luggage at the airport.
Maybe I should have, just to help her out, but I couldn’t have Quinn thinking of me as some prince charming, not with what I was about to do. Quinn took the hint and brought her own bags inside although she didn’t seem to mind, in the slightest. Perhaps, she hadn’t expected me to do it anyways. What did this generation of women know about chivalry after all? Absolutely nothing which was a sad fact within itself.
My mother had taught me how to treat a woman, and I had remembered her lessons. That was the reason that I always opened the door for Quinn. I knew that I didn’t have to, but I couldn’t stop myself. Plus, I had seen the little light in her eyes every single time I did it.
We went inside, and seconds after entering, the small pitter patter of Paige’s footsteps could be heard, as she ran into the foyer. She stared at Quinn for a little bit as if in disbelief that she was really back before her face broke into this huge grin.
“Quinn!” she exclaimed and ran towards her, wrapping her little arms around Quinn’s waist and hugging her with everything that she had. “I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too,” Paige said and hugged her back. I felt bad that I was going to break them up. But I couldn’t take this decision back. I wouldn’t allow myself.
“You won’t find anyone else like her.” Klaus said from behind me. “You know that, right?”
I nodded. “I know.”
Quinn looked up and saw my brother. “Hi, Klaus,” she greeted him.
“Hey, sunshine.” He put a smile on his face, but I could tell that he was sad. My brother, surprisingly, for once in his life, had actually grown to like a woman not in a strictly sexual way. And I was taking that away from him. I hadn’t stopped to realize how that would affect him, as well.
“Klaus,” I said his name and looked at him. “Take Paige upstairs so that I can speak with Quinn for a moment.”
He sighed. “Right now.”
“Yes,” I nodded. “Right now.”
“I don’t want to leave!” Paige interfered. “I just got her back.”
“I won’t keep her long.”
Her eyes narrowed at me. “You promise?”
“I promise.”
Klaus picked Paige up, and she laid her head against him while he carried her up the stairs. I watched them, only able to think about how this news
was absolutely going to wreck Paige when I told her.
“Quinn, I need to talk to you.” My voice was serious.
She looked confused. “About what?”
“As much as I hate to say this because of how much we value you as one of the family, I have to let you go.”
Her eyes widened. “Let me go?”
“Yes, I’m firing you.”
She looked outraged and sad and furious, all at the same time. “Why?”
“What?”
“Why are you firing me?”
“Because this,” I gestured to the house. “Here, isn’t the right place for you.”
“And why is that your decision to make?”
“It just is, Quinn.”
I could see the beginning of tears in the corners of her eyes, as she tried to keep herself together. It also would have been impossible to ignore that she was fighting desperately not to let herself snap. “And when is this effective?”
“I expect you to be fully moved out in two weeks. I’ve already found all of the accommodations for you. I got you a nice apartment and paid down two years for you. I was also looking into some people who could transfer your car back home. I’ve already found some good jobs for you that have a similar pay rate. And I’m leaving you fifty thousand to adjust to your new life. I think I’m being more than gracious.”
“Gracious?!” she snapped. “Nothing about firing me is gracious.”
“At least I gave you other ways of succeeding, moving on.”
“Not other ways that I wanted.”
She ran her fingers through her hair and stared at me as if there was something that she wanted to say but held back, for whatever reason. That was probably for the best anyways.
“Why are you doing this, Ezra?” she asked me, chewing into that bottom lip.
“Because this thing happening between us, can’t happen. I’ve told you that, but it seems like it’ll never be fully platonic if you work for me.”
“That’s not true,” she argued. “I could be platonic, I could do platonic. Ezra, please.”
“It’s out of my hands, now,” I told her. “I have already made a decision, and I can’t change it now.”
