by Katie Knight
At heart, she thought but didn’t say. Today was the one-year anniversary of Theo’s death. She didn’t share that information with many people and certainly was not going to bring it up to Jed, her boss. Honestly, she’d thought the pain and grief would get easier with time, but it seemed Theo’s death still hit her as hard as ever.
She’d fallen for Theodore Randall even though he’d been her speech therapy patient and it was against the rules. He’d been so strong, so smart, so funny, so brave and handsome. Even after the stroke that had struck him in his prime—only thirty-eight—he’d kept such a positive attitude. He’d pushed through and learned to walk again, even to play basketball. But for a guy who’d been at the top of his sales game prior to the stroke, his career had suffered. He’d never once let on how much it bothered him, people looking at him differently, treating him differently. Whenever Tess asked him about it, he’d always played it off with a joke to make her smile.
The day she’d gotten the call from the police department telling her he was dead, that he’d managed to hang himself in his own living room, she’d been devastated. They’d been planning a trip to the Bahamas. She’d thought he’d finally been ready to propose. She’d had their whole future mapped out for them—and all that time, he’d been struggling with depression he’d hidden from her. She was supposed to be the professional who recognized when people were struggling. How had she missed it in the man she loved? She was left to pick up the pieces and struggle to process what the hell had happened, but it wasn’t just her heart that had been broken. Her confidence in herself and her abilities was shattered as well.
“The front door was unlocked,” Jed said, taking another step into the kitchen, his gaze narrowed on her. “I gave you specific instructions to keep it locked at all times.”
“I’m sorry.” She sniffled and hung her head. “I went out to get the paper earlier and I must’ve forgotten to lock it again when I came back inside.”
“You forgot?” Jed gave a curt nod and looked away. “Perfect. Marvelous. Stupendous. You know what I’m going through right now with the whole investigation. Is it too much to ask that you care about Nala’s safety as much as I do?”
“I do!” Her own voice rose along with her annoyance. How dare he come in here and accuse her of not caring about Nala. Right now, that kid was everything to her—and most of the time, she was all that Nala had, with a guardian who was hardly ever around. She couldn’t help wondering that if he was so worried about keeping Nala safe, why wasn’t he here, protecting her?
Besides, Tessa was having a rough day. “I made one mistake and I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. Aren’t you supposed to be at the warehouse anyway?”
“I forgot a file,” he mumbled, his scowl darkening. “Good thing too, I guess. Considering just anyone could walk in here and take whatever they wanted, including the two of you.”
“Why are you so angry?” Tess asked, her eyes stinging again with tears, this time from frustration. “And stop yelling at me!”
“I’m not yelling!” Jed said, his tone stating the opposite. “And I have every right to be upset. If you’re this lax in your duties, maybe I should’ve never hired you in the first place.”
Heat prickled Tess’s cheeks, and she glared at Jed across the kitchen table. She needed this job, badly, but she refused to be bullied. She’d had more than enough of that growing up to last her a lifetime. “You don’t trust me? You want me gone? Fine, I’ll—”
“Stop fighting, you two!” Nala yelled from the kitchen doorway.
Both Tess and Jed looked over at her, astonished.
Tess immediately felt awful. The last thing she wanted to do was add to the little girl’s trauma. Nala had already suffered so much. With a sigh, she sagged against the edge of the countertop and rubbed her nose. “I’m sorry, sweetie. We weren’t fighting. We were…having a disagreement.”
“Don’t fire Tess, Jed,” Nala said, her tone trembling. “P-please.”
Jed’s stiff posture seemed to crumble as he knelt in front of the little girl. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry. I’m not firing Tess—I shouldn’t have said that. I was scared when I came home and found the door unlocked, that’s all. I was already mad at myself for forgetting something and making such a stupid mistake, and I guess I took that out on Tess.”
He glanced back at her over his shoulder. “Sorry.”
She nodded, not willing to say it was fine, because it wasn’t, but not wanting to create any more waves in front of Nala either.
Jed exhaled slow, then straightened and sidled past Nala out into the hallway. “I’ll, uh, I’ll just grab that file now.”
Tess watched him walk away, the tension in her shoulders gradually leaving, along with the burst of energy the fight had given her. She felt wrung out and strung out. Still, she put on a brave smile for Nala and walked over to stand in front of her. “We’re fine. Everything’s okay. Why don’t you go upstairs and pick out a new book to start for today’s reading?”
The little girl gave her a wary look but agreed. “B-be right back.”
“Okay.” Tess listened for the creak of Nala’s small footsteps on the stairs before sliding back into her seat at the kitchen table. Her head was pounding, both from the crying and from her argument with Jed. To think she’d been attracted to him and thought he was kind and sweet and loyal. Today, he’d shown he could be just another brute when he wanted to be. Good thing she found out now before she let herself care about him any more than she already did. She’d been down that path once, with Theo. Letting a man fool her into thinking she knew him, letting her trust him, allowing her to depend on him. Then having that rug pulled out from beneath her, leaving her in emotional freefall.
Nope. Not again.
She and Jed were employer and employee only. The better she got at remembering that, the better for everyone involved. And yes, she cared for Nala, but that was different. They were two different people. She could love Nala and not Jed. She could trust Nala and not Jed. She could get closer to Nala and not Jed.
And that’s exactly what she intended to do for as long as she worked here.
Heavy footsteps echoed down the hall, signaling Jed’s return.
“Got the file,” he said, stopping in the kitchen doorway again. “I need to run. We’ll talk about this later. It’s not over. And be sure to lock the front door behind me.”
She nodded again, only half-listening, as he stalked through the living room.
“I’m waiting,” he called from the foyer.
Tess gritted her teeth and moved toward the front door where he waited, her determination rising with each step. She waited until Jed walked out onto the porch then closed and locked the door in his face with a resounding click. Yep. This definitely wasn’t over and she definitely wouldn’t make the mistake of letting him into her heart and her mind again.
Eleven
Except they didn’t talk about it that night. In fact, three days passed, and Jed still hadn’t had the chance or the courage to bring up the argument again. But while he’d hoped that a little time and distance from the fight might ease the tensions, he found the opposite instead. God, he’d been in war zones that felt more welcoming and warmer than his home these days.
Sure, Tess was a model of professionalism, always courteous and civil to him, but that ease they’d shared since she’d first moved in had disappeared. And damn if he didn’t miss it. He knew it was his fault, for acting like an ass that day and letting his frustrations boil over into his interactions with her. It was wrong and he felt terrible about it, but he had no idea how to make things better at this point.
He poured boiling pasta into a colander in the sink, breathing in the steam and the starchy smell. He’d worked from home again today and had finished his stuff from the warehouse early, so he’d offered to cook dinner again tonight. Spaghetti and meatballs. Nala’s favorite. The kitchen was filled with the scent of garlic bread toasting, and the spicy fragrance of homemade tomat
o sauce on the stove. He was a decent cook. If only his skills at interacting with Tess were as good.
After draining the pasta, he dished it into a large serving bowl then poured the bubbling sauce over it and topped it off with fresh grated parmesan. The timer on the oven dinged, and he removed the homemade garlic bread and sliced it before putting it into the basket he’d prepared then setting it all on the kitchen table. He hoped that maybe he could find out why Tess had been crying that day. His heart clenched at the memory of her tears. It wasn’t just hers though, he told himself. He didn’t like to see any woman cry.
That’s the excuse he was going with anyway.
“Dinner’s ready!” he called into the living room, where the girls were finishing up Nala’s lessons for the day. Despite his argument with Tess and his stupid statement about firing her, he didn’t want her to go anywhere. In fact, he’d started thinking of them as a unit. The girls. Him and the girls.
It had a nice ring to it.
Tess and Nala filed in and took their seats. Nala boasted a huge grin as she served up a heap of spaghetti onto her plate. Tess gave him a cool smile and nibbled on a slice of garlic bread.
Right. Time for some serious damage control.
“So, uh,” Jed started as he filled his plate. “About the other day. I want to offer you a sincere apology for the way I acted. That was totally uncalled for. I’m sorry.”
Tess blinked at him for a moment, then sighed. “Thank you. Apology accepted.”
“Good.” Jed felt like a huge weight had been lifted off him. He glanced over at Nala who was watching the two of them and giggling. She had tomato sauce smeared at the corner of her mouth. “What’s so funny, huh? And what are you so happy about tonight, young lady? Besides my world-class cuisine.”
Nala laughed. “I passed my s-science test.”
“You did? That’s great, baby!” Jed smiled and looked over at Tess. “The big one, right?”
“Yep.” Tess sipped her water and nodded. “She’s officially a whiz at science.”
“Fantastic!” Jed said around a big bite of pasta. “You must be super smart, Nala. I always sucked at science as a kid. Math too.”
“Yep,” Tess said, grinning. “Word problems are my kryptonite.”
“Ugh, yes.” Jed shook his head. “If you have twenty cantaloupes and sixteen mangos and you’re headed east on a train going forty miles per hour, how many purple pancakes does it take to cover your roof?”
Nala giggled and Tess snorted.
They ate in companionable silence for a while and Jed savored the moment. After his chaotic childhood, he loved these quiet times of peace and harmony. There were still questions he needed answered though, and Tess had seemed to warm up to him again a bit, so now seemed as good a time as any. He waited until Nala had excused herself to use the restroom.
“Why were you crying the other day?” he asked, trying to sound casual, though he felt anything but. “If you don’t mind me asking.”
She stopped mid-bite of spaghetti and looked over at him, her pretty hazel eyes wide. “Oh, um.” She put her fork down and wiped her mouth. “It was a hard day for me. The anniversary of losing someone I cared for very deeply.”
Jed’s chest ached from the pain and sorrow in her voice and from the thought that she’d been grieving and he’d only added to that sadness. God, he was such an idiot sometimes. “I’m so sorry for your loss. I had no idea.”
“I don’t talk about it very often.” She sipped her water then frowned. “You couldn’t have known. It’s fine. I’m good now. No worries.”
He watched her as she continued eating, thinking he owed her more than just an apology for his actions the other day. And yeah, he’d sworn to keep his distance from her and keep his attraction to himself, but offering to take her out to the nice Italian restaurant in DC was not a date. It was another apology, an evening between colleagues. That’s all.
Nala returned and finished her food then excused herself to go upstairs to get ready for bed.
Tess started to clean the table and Jed helped, searching for the right time to make his move.
“Uh, one of the guys who works for me at the warehouse told me about this great new Italian place in DC,” he said, brushing past her to put an armload of dishes on the counter. Tingles of awareness zinged up his arm from the brief contact before he tamped them down. This was about business, not pleasure. “Anyway, seeing as how Nala aced her big science test tonight, I’m thinking maybe we could take her there for a celebration dinner. What do you think?”
“I think that sounds like a wonderful idea.” Tess stood at the sink with her back to him, rinsing off the dishes before bending slightly to put them in the dishwasher while he continued clearing the table. His position gave him a perfect view of her delicate curves and perfect behind. Not that he was looking. Nope. She cleared her throat as if sensing his wayward attentions, jarring him back to reality. “Nala would love that.”
“Yeah, I hope so.” He set the last of the plates on the counter then leaned his elbow on it, gathering his courage. “I’m wondering if you and I should go there first, without Nala. Just to check it out and make sure it’s the kind of place she’d like. What do you say?”
She halted, hands under the running water and gave him some serious side-eye. “Just you and me. Going out to dinner?”
“Yeah.”
“Like a date?”
“What?” Jed straightened, heat prickling up his face. “No. Not a date. An evaluation. Between colleagues. You know, to make sure Nala would like the restaurant before we make a reservation.”
“Oh.” Tess finished rinsing the plate in her hands and Jed frowned. Were her fingers trembling slightly? A surge of unexpected protectiveness swelled inside him. He’d either scared her, made her nervous, or both. He didn’t want to do any of that. He just wanted to spend a bit more time with her, learn more about her, because she was living under his roof and spending so much time with Nala.
And maybe because he liked her more than he should.
After a small eternity, in which Jed lived and died, she finally gave a nod and shut off the water.
“Okay. Let’s do it.” Tess gave him a hesitant smile, holding out her hand. “It’s been ages since I’ve been to DC and had a night out, even if it’s just between colleagues. To evaluate the restaurant.”
Jed shook her hand, not missing how soft and warm her skin felt against his. “Great. I’ll make the arrangements.”
Twelve
The next day, Tess couldn’t stop second-guessing herself.
Yes, she liked Jed. And yes, he’d made it clear that this wasn’t a date. Still, whenever she and Nala took a break from their lessons, her traitorous mind kept bringing up images of Jed from that day when she’d collided with him in the hallway after his shower. All that tanned, toned skin, all those rippling muscles, and God—those eyes of his. Cool as icy blue diamond chips one second and warm as the Caribbean Sea the next. It was enough to make even a confirmed loner like her go all weak-kneed and wobbly with lusty fantasies.
Fantasies were all they’d ever be though.
After what had happened with Theo, she didn’t plan to ever go down the rocky road of love again. Being on her own might be lonely sometimes, sure. But it beat having her heart obliterated by grief and losing everything she held dear.
Not to mention that most important fact in all this. She loved working with Nala and finally felt like she was making a difference again. The little girl’s stutter was improving by the day just through simple exercises that Tess incorporated into their homework lessons. Lots of repetition and breathing exercises to keep Nala relaxed as she spoke. She felt a real connection to Nala, as they’d both overcome such big challenges in their lives—Tess with her cleft palate, and Nala with the tragedy of her parents’ death.
Tess didn’t want to put at risk the best thing that had happened to her since….
She sighed and finished putting away the flash cards
they’d been using for Nala’s science lesson. The little girl was upstairs, using the bathroom and picking out a story for today’s Composition class. Tess liked to run a tight ship when it came to Nala’s education. Her pupil was so smart and so eager to learn that it was fun to push her mental boundaries and see how much knowledge she could store in that mighty brain of hers.
Nala seemed to be having fewer bad dreams too, since she’d sketched out that drawing of the bald man she’d seen in her parents’ driveway the night before the accident. That was good. Tess wondered if Jed had found anything else out about that man, if he actually existed or not, and if there was any tie between him and the tampering the police had found on the car. There hadn’t been much time to ask him though, what with his busy schedule at the warehouse then that stupid fight they’d had.
Cringing, Tess went to the kitchen to refresh her coffee and refill Nala’s water glass. That fight had been ridiculous, honestly. They’d both been on edge and snapped at each other. Jed had apologized, which was something that made him even more appealing to Tess, darn it.
Much as she’d loved Theo and all his magnificent qualities, humility hadn’t been among them. Even when he’d been bedridden from his stroke, the guy had kept his healthy ego intact. In the end, it was probably that same self-importance that had been his downfall. He’d been unable to let go of how things had been—the way people had treated him, the respect he sought in other people’s opinions—and adjust to his new reality, post-stroke. Tess had done her best to help him through it, but she saw now all the ways that he’d shut her out, keeping his emotions bottled up until they’d eaten him alive.
Full drinks in hand, she returned to the living room and set her mug and Nala’s glass back on the coffee table, then settled back in her seat to get ready for their next session. It was nearly three in the afternoon. Jed had mentioned that morning he’d be home on time that night and he’d pick up Thai takeout for dinner.
