by Mark Tufo
“Hey, Butch, any chance once they got off the piggyback ride they’d kick our ass?”
“That’s doubtful, Colonel. If someone was going to get off your back and then kick you in the keester they would have done it a long time ago.”
“That’s good to know, I think. Any luck with our last request?” the colonel asked hopefully.
“Yeah, we’ve got some people here who would love to share a word or two with you, but good buddy, please have you and your crew be very selective in your choice of words. With the distance between us we’re afraid we’ll lose transmission.”
So basically the colonel was just told he couldn’t say goodbye to the people who meant the most to him in the world. How does one be matter-of-fact with the ones he loves at a time like this? But he knew if any of his crew or himself for that matter fouled up and started down the wrong path, the powers that be would yank the cord on this long distance call in a heartbeat. And that was another thing; he wanted to say goodbye to his wife in private, not with the whole damn military world listening in. But he had chosen this ride too long ago to now buck against the rules. And so he carefully briefed his crew on the dos and don’ts of their conversations. They were as pleased as the colonel but they were soldiers and knew their place. He let his crew say their non-goodbyes before his wife of fifteen years took the mike.
“Hey, Lauren, how are you doing?” Oh God, she was already sobbing. He knew there was some peon sergeant with his hand on the kill switch.
“Lauren, honey, it’s me, Ray, are you crying because the Giants lost another close one?” Lauren knew enough about the situation that if she didn’t pull it together soon she wasn’t even going to get her pseudo-goodbye to the only man she had and would ever love.
“Those damn Giants,” she said with a quiver in her voice.
“That’s a girl, they’ll pull it together next season. Don’t you worry, just when you think they’re down and out, there they are, always by your side. I need you to be strong for them, Lauren. For our little Giants. Can you do that, Lauren?”
She nodded her head in agreement and the Colonel heard the scraped raw ‘yes’ come through the speaker as if she had shouted it.
“That’s my girl. Because the little Giants are going to need a strong coach in the times to come. I’ve already talked to the assistant coach on this, Lauren, and he wants you and the team to move in for these difficult rebuilding years. Do you understand, Lauren?”
“I get it now, Ray.” She choked back the tears. “Sometimes you just have to take one for the team. Even if it is a huge one.”
“I love you, Lauren.”
“I love you too, Ray.” And it was the colonel who pulled the plug on this transmission, another second more and he would have started crying. Or worse, he might just have pulled on the yoke and turned the ship around. For just one more minute in her arms he would’ve done just that.
CHAPTER 44
Inside the Mother ship
“Sir, these humans just might be the most idiotic race we have encountered thus far.”
“Why, crewman? What is going on in their communications?”
“Sir, they are hundreds of thousands of miles away from their home planet, about to encounter a civilization they are not sure whether is friendly or not and all they are talking about is an arcane game they call football or baseball.”
“This will be our easiest conquest so far, crewman. Our shore leaves will be doubled for making it such an easy effort.” The crewman and his chief both laughed, they were already considering where they would go on their respective journeys.
CHAPTER 45 – Journal Entry 28
Orbiting Venus
The day of reckoning had arrived. I wasn’t too particularly thrilled about it. The women even less so. The majority of them believed I wouldn’t even rouse out of my catatonic state to make even a last gesture of defiance. I remember seeing a picture of t-shirts from back in the late seventies had a mouse giving the eagle the finger right before the eagle was about to have his lunch. Well, my growing legion of followers didn’t even think I was going to make that effort. And to be honest, I wasn’t sure if I was. The guard came, Stephanie told him I hadn’t moved in weeks and that I was still in bed. The guard was less than amused, he crashed open my doors. This seemed to be a reoccurring theme among them. This time, the doors were going to need some attention before they were serviceable again. But it really didn’t matter, one way or the other I was going to be gone. The guard picked me up by the back of my pants. I felt like a little kid getting a ‘superman’ ride. I didn’t appear to be fatiguing him in the least, but apparently he didn’t like the way I just dangled there, so with a low grunt he hefted me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, my head to his back. And there it was, his rifle. It was no more than a foot away from my hand. But even that close, if I grabbed it how would I dislodge it from his shoulder? And then what—would it have some sort of safety device I’d never be able to figure out? All these thoughts and ten times that were running through my head. The arena approached a lot faster under his stride, we were just coming up on my entrance. I could hear the electricity buzzing in the crowd. Yeah, this was going to be a big draw night for them. But I figured it was going to be a lot like the Super Bowl, a lot of hype and not much more. Normally, the games leading up to it were much more noteworthy than the actual championship event. And I didn’t figure that was going to change today.
For whatever reason, my guard had slung his rifle sling across his chest with the rifle resting on his back, the muzzle pointing down. I moved as slowly as possible so as not to bring attention to myself, reaching out I placed a finger on what I was ninety-five percent sure was the trigger. I was on his right shoulder and the rifle pointed away from me down toward his left leg at least I figured as much when his right leg was forward. His leg was in the line of fire half the time. If I missed or just grazed him I wouldn’t have to worry about Durgan, because of all the things I wasn’t sure of this evening, I was sure this guard would kill me in an instant, regardless of the consequences. I waited until his left leg was at its apex behind him and then pulled the trigger. Nothing happened; there was a safety. And then I watched in horror or glee as my abductor’s leg dissolved right before me. I guess it’s hard to see stuff when you have your eyes closed. He fell over immediately; I think he was in too much shock to even register the fact he had just lost his leg. Falling eight feet wasn’t any fun either, I slammed against the far wall thinking I had once again dislocated my shoulder, but now was not the time to worry about that. He was in the process of attempting to flip himself over, if he did, it would take me and three other people a half hour to get that rifle up from under him. I kicked him where every animal is the most sensitive, square in the eye. Pain did register and he was beginning to howl. My time alone was growing short, luckily he was entirely too busy with his ruined eye and missing leg to give a crap about his rifle. But I still had the sling to contend with and that thing looked like it could tow a car. I had to finish him off; even an errant lashing out from him would break me in two. I just kept kicking him in the head till my leg ached. I was afraid I was going to cramp up and there I’d be, massaging a charley horse with a dead guard, I didn’t think that would go over so well.
After seven or eight kicks he stilled. I didn’t think he was dead, but I wasn’t going to check for a pulse, either. I unslung the rifle from him and not a moment too soon. I don’t know what the guard said as he emerged from the arena floor, but I’m sure it was something along the lines of “What the hell is going on here? What is the delay? Get your ass in here!” But whatever it was I wasn’t waiting for an interpreter. The second guard flew back into the arena with a fist-sized hole blown right through the middle of him. And much to my chagrin the whole scene had made its way onto the big screen because they had been waiting for my grand entrance. Well, I gave them one. I ran in and took a sharp left into the packed stands. I had to imagine that every single one of them had
their eyes on me or on my image in the screen. The Progerians were surprisingly subdued; I guess they really didn’t like to get their hands dirty. Whereas, none of them were moving, the guards were running at full tilt to converge on my location. But they weren’t shooting. They didn’t want to risk taking out any of their masters. I luckily had no such compunction about it. If anyone stepped in my way, whether trying to get away or to block my path, the outcome was the same. I shot them, they died. I had no clue how many rounds this thing held, sooner or later I was going to find out. The thirty to forty yards I had to traverse to get to my destination were the most blood littered I had yet ever encountered and the guards had yet to let a shot fly. I arrived where the Supreme Commander would be sitting and to my astonishment, he was still there. He never moved, even with all the bedlam going on around him. All I could think was that he was so confident in his position he didn’t think anything could touch him. I don’t know if Crocodiles or Progerians sweat but when I placed the rifle against his head two things happened. First the Supreme Commander actually gave me a look of surprise and secondly, and more importantly, the entire arena came to a standstill. The guards stopped all pursuit, which was a good thing because three or four of them were less than twenty feet from where I stood. Nobody moved a muscle.
“Stand!” I yelled at the Commander. “Stand you ugly bitch or I’ll blow your head off.”
“No need to shout, hu-man,” he said, standing. “I understand you perfectly, but what gives you the right to put a weapon to my head, you puny little hu-man?”
“You know what gives me the right? I’ll tell you.” I rattled off all the names of the victims I had killed for their entertainment. He didn’t get the connection.
“You know you’ll never make it out of here, hu-man.”
“If I don’t, neither do you, your Excellency.” I knew he didn’t get the sarcasm laced in ‘Excellency’.
“Beth, get down here!” I yelled. I didn’t dare take my eyes off the guard that was closest. I couldn’t tell but he seemed to be inching closer.
“Beth, hurry up!” I yelled again.
“That could be a small problem,” she yelled back. I risked a glance over my shoulder; a guard had her by the scruff of the neck and did not appear to be willing to negotiate.
“Listen, Mr. Supreme, you tell your henchman to let Beth—I mean the Queen of the Games go or I’m going to put their boss’s brains all over the arena floor.” I was spitting by this time. One of the guards was inching closer; it was a no-brainer, I didn’t consider him worthy of living anyway. I perched the rifle over the commander’s shoulder and blew a hole right through the guard. I even felt a little special, as I had taken out an extra paying patron behind him too.
“Now back to you, Mr. Supreme. I hate you and your kind and I have no problem with killing as many of you as I can before I run out of ammo. But I guarantee you’ll be one of the deceased.”
“You just killed the Prime Minister of Arabak. Mr. Talbot, I will personally see to your death.”
“Well, now that we’re over the niceties let’s get back to business. He lets her go now or you and a bunch of your friends are going to die.” He spoke to his guard in that halting, choppy croc-speak, but the gist of it was pretty much let the girl go and back away. I hoped he hadn’t added any extra instructions but that problem would have to be dealt with later. Durgan strode into the arena just at that moment. He seemed very befuddled to be entering without the cheers of his admirers. It was then he saw on the big screen the carnage and who I was holding prisoner.
“You let him go now, Talbot! Or I’ll kill you!” He shook with rage as he spoke.
“Uh, I’m a little busy right now, Durgan,” I answered back. “You’re just going to have to wait your turn.” I didn’t even have to yell. The acoustics in this place were great and it was very, very quiet.
“You have no right to take this away from me, Talbot. I’m moments away from my biggest glory and you’re ruining it.”
“I’m sorry, Tom. I know I should have just laid down and died for you today but I wasn’t feeling very giving. Sometimes it’s just not in my nature. Durgan was enraged, he started to enter the stands, but the guards weren’t letting another rogue human in. The guard closest to him stepped in his way. Durgan didn’t care, he punched the guard square in the solar plexus and the guard doubled over in pain. With some effort but not all, not by a long shot, Durgan grabbed him around the neck and pulled upwards, severing the guard’s spinal cord from his neck. He walked through a second guard like he was tissue paper. Thank God for Durgan, he actually took some of the heat off me. Two of the guards now had their rifles trained right on Durgan’s head. He didn’t have a weapon or a hostage and he was wide open. He stopped his advance, but the rage inside him was boiling over. His face was beet red, veins were sticking out all over the place. He was quaking like a volcano about to erupt. I didn’t figure that to be the flight part of the fight or flight response.
“I’m going to kill you, Talbot!” I knew he meant it. But I had bigger fish to fry at the moment.
“Like I said, Durgan, you’re going to have to wait in line.” He howled in rage. Beth in the meantime had made her unobstructed way down to me. I gave her a small hug and I could feel the ever so slight stiffness when I touched her. Well that answered my question. She wasn’t going to mind if my savagery saved her but after that I didn’t think she’d want any part of me. Well, like I said before, I had bigger fish to fry; love or lack of wasn’t on the list quite yet.
I needed to act fast. But in what direction? I hadn’t really believed I would get this far. If I made the Progerians clear a path it could possibly give the guards a clear shot at Beth or me. If I left them where they were, would one of them make a move? I knew the Progerians preferred the hands-off approach, but if pushed to the edge would they attack? I really didn’t know them well enough to make an informed decision. I was fairly certain, though, that the guards would take full advantage of any opportunity. I had sort of made up my mind. Rifle pressed firmly to the Supreme Commander’s head, we moved, Beth pushed ahead with the Supreme Commander following her and me bringing up the rear. Durgan was still screaming at the top of his lungs.
“Hey, Durgan!” I yelled over my shoulder. “Stephanie doesn’t say ‘hi’.” Holy cow, that shut him up. I thought I could feel him boiling with rage. He must not have known she was my roommate and I just let him ponder on what may or may not have happened between us. I don’t know why I felt the need to antagonize him, but that got him moving again. Only this time he was running across the arena floor to meet me at the other entrance. He was going to foul everything up.
“Stop him now, Commander, or the guards are going to have some Supreme brain to clean up later.” He may not have understood sarcasm but he understood the threat just fine. He said something in his native tongue, a blue flash passed by us no farther than three feet away and that was the end of Durgan’s right leg. It just sort of disappeared; I saw white bone protruding from below his kneecap and nothing else. He fell in a heap screaming and writhing in agony. I almost felt pity for him. Almost. Well, now I knew the guards were excellent shots; I almost crawled up onto the Supreme Commander’s back. As it was, there was no more than three inches from any part of my body to any part of his. I might as well have been a human fur, the way I was draped over him. To shoot at me the guards ran the risk of the exit discharge going into their leader and as bad as they wanted to kill me that was in direct proportion to how much they didn’t want to harm their leader. For the most part, the crowd parted as my small troupe made its way through. Whether on purpose or by accident, one of the Progerians shot a foot out. I nearly stumbled. I had to grab on to the Commander’s belt to keep from toppling over. When I had regained my full balance, I quickly turned the rifle and blew off that foot. Nobody else’s feet even came close after that.
“There was no reason to blow off my Computer Engineer’s foot,” the Supreme Commander said calmly.
He was a cool cookie under pressure, I’d give him that much.
“Well, you see, Mr. Supreme Commander, sir, I basically did it for my entertainment and enjoyment.” He stiffened much like Beth had when I first touched her. We finally reached the entrance, the two dead guards were still there but they now had fifteen or so companions waiting right around the bend.
“Call them off, Supe. You know the drill. Hole in the head and all. Tell them to put down their weapons.” The commander hesitated. I jammed the rifle even harder into his skull.
“Now!” I screamed.
He complied; they hesitantly put down their weapons.
“Now tell them to back away from the weapons and to open my cell door.”
“Oh come on, hu-man. Where do you really think this is going to end up? Tonight I will be eating dinner in my quarters and I guarantee you will be the main course. Let me go now—we’ll fix up Durgan and you can die like a man in the arena.”
“Let me think about that. Um, no. Now tell them to do what I asked.”
He resisted so I shot a guard square in the chest. It smelled a lot like chicken. If I ever got the chance, I was going to eat one of these things, just to see if they tasted like they smelled. The guards almost advanced on me. The commander raised his hand and spoke their native tongue, they backed away from their weapons and one ran back down the corridor. Whether to get help or to open my cell I wasn’t sure.
“Beth, grab a rifle!”
“Mike, you know I hate those things.”
“Now is not the time to be a liberal. Grab a weapon now!” She reluctantly picked one up.
“Now keep that thing aimed squarely at the Commander’s chest. Anything happens to me just drill a hole in him.”
