by Carrie Carr
“Because, no matter what else I think of you, you’re family,” Lex answered wearily. “Why did you do it? Couldn’t you have just asked?”
The big man let out a derisive snort. “Yeah, right, so you could lord that over me like you have everything else?” He shook his head. “You’re so damn high and mighty, and you’re always acting like you’re better than everyone else. I don’t have to explain anything to you. Besides, you can’t prove a thing.”
“What do you want from me, Hubert?” Lex dropped down gracelessly onto the porch swing. Bracing her elbows on her knees, she sighed. “I’m not going to press charges, but I think it would be a good idea if you stayed away from the ranch for a while.”
A movement in the doorway caught his eye. “Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” As was his normal habit, he eyed the woman walking up to Lex and then straightened his shirt. “Is this your latest plaything? I’ll have to hand it to you, she’s…urk!”
Lex had jumped up and pinned her brother against a nearby support post, her forearm against his throat. “Say what you want about me, you asshole, but, never let me hear you talk about Amanda that way again.” She enjoyed the look of fear on Hubert’s face as she held him against the post, his face getting redder by the moment. A gentle touch on her back brought her to her senses.
“Lex? Let him go, will you?”
The soft request calmed her, at least a little. Lex let go and flexed her arm, which caused Hubert to stand up on his toes and gasp for air. “I’ve had it with you, asshole. I didn’t ask for this ranch, but by God, I’m going to work it with everything that I am, and no two-bit bean counter is going to change that.” She felt Amanda’s hand on her shoulder. “Especially not the likes of you.” Shifting slightly, Lex shoved her brother down the stairs and off the porch.
Hubert stumbled to the driveway while holding his throat and wheezing. “This…isn’t over, Lex.” He backed his way clumsily to his car. “I can promise you that.”
“Go home, Hubert.” Lex braced her hands on the railing of the porch and watched as her brother got into his car and drove away. Bowing her head, she closed her eyes against the exhaustion that was left behind as her rage dissipated.
“God, Lex,” Amanda whispered.
Lex felt the words as if they were physical blows. Afraid to turn around, she took a deep breath. “Yeah. I completely lost it.” She felt Amanda duck under her arm and snuggle close.
“Was he always such a jerk?” Amanda asked, turning to look up into the anguished face above her.
It took a moment for the words to register. “Huh?” Finally Lex realized that she hadn’t frightened off her lover with her temper. She wrapped her arms around Amanda in reflex.
Amanda smiled at the gesture. “Good grief. How you’ve kept from killing him until now is a complete mystery to me.”
“Ahem.”
Both women turned around to see Martha standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips. “Are you two gonna stand out there all evening mooning over each other, or are you coming inside for coffee?”
Lex laughed. “Well, how can we resist such a gracious invitation?” Allowing Amanda to enter the house before her, she stopped in front of the smirking housekeeper.
“What?” Lex placed a kiss on the top of Martha’s head, which pleasantly surprised the housekeeper. Although their relationship had always been loving, it wasn’t often her charge would initiate any sort of contact.
“Thanks.” The words were uttered so softly, they were barely audible.
Her own emotions were close to the surface, and Martha feared she would burst into tears at any moment. “For what, honey?”
“Everything,” Lex murmured, then followed Amanda into the house.
Martha watched them go, then wiped a tear from her eye with the corner of her apron. “Rotten kid,” she grumbled. “Just when I think I have her figured out, she says something like that.” She sighed heavily as she re-entered the house and closed the door behind her.
THE THREE WOMEN spent the next several hours in the kitchen while Amanda caught Martha up on the happenings of the last couple of days. She tried to gloss over her involvement in the incident with Rick, but Lex wouldn’t let her.
“Back up, Amanda.” Lex stopped her lover’s narrative, then turned her attention to Martha. “She’s not telling you the best part. Rick was going for Mrs. Cauble, so I stepped in behind him to try and get his attention. He elbowed me in the ribs—” Lex cleared her throat, “and I dropped like a rock.”
“Gracious.” Martha reached across the table and placed her hand on Lex’s arm. “Are you all right?”
“Yeah, it just kind of took my breath away for a few minutes.” The look Lex gave Amanda warned her not to contradict her. She was fine now and didn’t want to worry Martha more than necessary. “Anyway, there I was, on my knees trying to catch my breath, when I see Rick on his way to hurt Mrs. Cauble. He only got about two steps when his head popped back, and he fell over in a dead faint.”
Martha glanced between the two women. “How?” She hated waiting, and now she was practically on the edge of her seat.
“Amanda did some sort of kung fu, or something.”
Embarrassed, Amanda looked down at the table. “Karate, actually. I only studied it for one summer, years ago, and was much better with my legs than my hands. It’s amazing what you remember when you need it.” Her partner was making a bigger
deal out of it then it was, she was sure.
The housekeeper’s mouth dropped open. “You kicked him?”
“Nailed him right on the chin,” Lex supplied helpfully. “Guess Ol’ Rick’s got a glass jaw.” Amanda poked her on the shoulder. “What?”
Amanda shook her head slowly. “I know I shouldn’t have, but I just reacted. He was really mad at Gramma, and I was afraid he would hurt her or Lex. I guess I’m no better than him.” What really bothered her was the rage she felt when she saw Rick hurt Lex. Part of her wanted to do more than just kick him under the chin, and Amanda knew it would be a long while before she reconciled that part of herself.
Martha stood up. “Don’t feel bad, honey. I think it’s great that you can defend yourself, or someone you care about.” She patted Amanda’s arm. “It’s been a long day, and there’s no sense in your driving back to town this late, so I think it would be best if you two stayed the night.”
Amanda looked at Lex, who shrugged her shoulders. “That sounds like a great idea. Just let me give my grandparents a call so that they won’t worry.” She stood up. “I’ll just use the phone upstairs, if that’s okay.”
“Sure,” Lex said. “I’ll be up in a minute.” Totally smitten, the rancher’s eyes followed Amanda as she left the room. She couldn’t help but enjoy the way her lover walked and remember how that body felt next to hers.
Not too surprised, Martha snapped her fingers to get Lex’s attention. “Lexie? Earth to Lexington. Hello?”
“Hmm?” Lex continued to daydream about the things she wanted to do to Amanda. Whipped cream and cherries figured prominently in her thoughts. “Oh! Umm, sorry about that.” She straightened in her chair. “What’s up?”
Martha moved until she stood next to Lex. Running one hand through the dark hair, she murmured, “I was so proud of you this evening, Lexie.”
The rancher leaned into the contact. “Really? I thought you would be disappointed. I almost strangled my brother on the front porch, Martha.” She released a heavy sigh and wearily closed her eyes. “Dad was right.”
“About what?”
“He said my temper would cause nothing but trouble, and he was right. First Lou, and now Hubert.” She fought back the reemerging pain when she thought about her youngest brother.
“How can you say that?” Martha sat in the chair next to the anguished woman. “Louis was killed in a boating accident. You weren’t even there.”
Lex fought to keep her composure. “And if I hadn’t lost my temper with him, he would have never gone in
the first place.” It was right before her father had left her in charge of the ranch, and the Texas summer was one of the hottest on record. Lex had been stuck in the office when she would much rather have been down at the creek, swimming with her younger brother and their friends. She was both sister and mother to the teenager, and between fighting with Hubert and trying to run the ranch while her father was away for a few weeks, her nerves were frayed.
Louis had come into the office, telling his sister about a group of friends going to Lake Somerville, and asking her if she wanted to go. She couldn’t because of her duties at the ranch, and when she found out that the oldest boy in the group was only sixteen, she forbade Louis to go. He yelled at her that she wasn’t his mother and went anyway.
Several hours later, Lex received a phone call from one of the rangers at the lake. The boat the group had been riding in capsized when another boat broadsided it, and Louis had been killed. The police came to her home to take her to identify her brother’s remains, just as her father was returning from his trip. The patriarch never got over it. With his wife and youngest son both dead, and his two older children having reached adulthood, Rawson Walters departed for good, leaving the ranch to Lex, which left her to the mercy of her vengeful brother, Hubert.
Looking back, Lex realized that the day Louis died was the day she started shutting herself down. She only went through the motions of day-to-day living, until Hubert brought Linda home. For a short while, Lex allowed herself to feel, until Linda handed her heart back to her in pieces. Then it became easier to hide inside a bottle than to face the loneliness. After she sobered up, Lex decided just to quit caring. You couldn’t get hurt if you didn’t care. She never really mourned the death of Louis, choosing instead to shut off all of her emotions, until a certain beautiful realtor splashed into her life.
Martha leaned over and pulled Lex into her arms. “Sweetheart, blaming yourself for that does no good. It was an accident, plain and simple. No one was to blame, especially you. Let it go.” She kissed the top of Lex’s head and held her close as Lex sobbed, finally releasing some of the grief she had held in for so many years.
Amanda stood quietly in the doorway, feeling guilty for witnessing such a private scene. I vaguely remember that summer, except that it was really hot. And I had no idea who that boy was who had been killed. Poor Lex. Amanda wasn’t very fond of the water,
so she and her grandparents rarely went to the lake when she visited for the summers. But she remembered hearing them speak of the tragedy right after it happened. Sparing one final glance in the kitchen, she turned and walked silently up the stairs, tears of compassion in her eyes.
Lex pulled away and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “I’m sorry, Martha. I don’t know what came over me. Hell, it’s been almost ten years. Why did I fall apart now?”
“Honey, it was easier for you to hate yourself all these years than to give in to your grief.” Martha nodded toward the stairs Amanda had just ascended. “I think you finally feel safe enough to give in to your feelings, safe enough to grieve.” No sense in telling her how afraid I’ve been, wondering what would happen if she ever did open up. My poor child. Even though Lex was a grown woman, in Martha’s heart she’d always be her little girl. She picked up a napkin from the table and wiped Lex’s face with it like she used to do when the rancher was a youngster. “Now you go upstairs and get a good night’s sleep.”
Lex took a deep breath and gave Martha a shaky smile. “You’re right, as usual. I’m pretty worn out.” She leaned over and kissed Martha on the cheek. “Thanks.”
“No need to thank me, child. That’s what I’m here for.” Martha stood, embarrassed. She could handle just about anything, except seeing the woman she raised from a small child fall apart.
Smiling to herself, Lex got to her feet as well, then enveloped Martha in a hug. “Well, thanks anyway.” She felt the embrace returned. “I love you, you know,” Lex whispered, just before she released the older woman.
“I love you, too.” Martha stepped back and turned Lex to the doorway. “Now go on upstairs before Amanda thinks you’ve run off.” Feeling back to normal, she swatted Lex on the rear.
“Yes, ma’am.” Not having to be told twice, Lex left the room and hurried up the stairs, her thoughts returning to whipped cream and cherries.
Taking and releasing a deep breath, Lex stood in the darkened doorway of the master bedroom, the only light in the room coming from the low burning fireplace.
“Amanda?” she called out quietly, unable to see if her lover was asleep on the bed. A movement near the fireplace caught her eye.
“Over here.” Amanda sat up from her curled position in one of the stuffed chairs.
Lex crossed the room quickly and dropped to her knees at Amanda’s feet. “Are you okay?” she asked, placing her hands on her friend’s legs.
Even in the dim light, Amanda could see the red and puffy eyes. Reaching out with a gentle hand, she brushed the unruly hair from Lex’s face, then continued to stroke her face. “I’m fine. But you’re looking a little rough around the edges. What say we take a quick shower and go to bed?”
“Mmm.” Lex closed her eyes and absorbed the loving touch. “That’s the best offer I’ve had all day.” She gathered her wits about her and stood. “Come on, I’ll scrub your back.” She helped Amanda to her feet and wrapped both arms around her lover’s torso.
Amanda enjoyed the warm security of the strong arms she found herself in. Closing her eyes, she was content to stand and absorb the love emanating from Lex. “I could stay here forever,” she murmured, not realizing she had spoken out loud until she felt Lex squeeze her a little tighter.
“I hope so,” Lex whispered in her ear, “because I have no intention of ever letting you go.” She pulled her head back slightly so that she could look into Amanda’s eyes. “I love you.” Leaning down, Lex covered Amanda’s mouth with her own, placing a soft, re-affirming kiss on slightly parted lips.
Amanda turned into the kiss, accepting the almost hesitant touch from Lex. Finally breaking off the kiss in order to breathe, she rested her cheek against the rancher’s heaving chest. “Let’s go get that shower.” Amanda led her dazed lover in the direction of the bathroom, “If you’re real good, I’ll practice my massage techniques on you.” She swatted Lex on the rear and closed the bathroom door.
Chapter Six
THE NEXT MORNING, the sun had barely peeked over the horizon when Lex opened her eyes. Snuggled behind Amanda, her nose was tucked in the sweet, fragrant hair. Since the day would go on without her and she had a lot of things to do, Lex reluctantly lifted her head and began disentangling herself. She climbed out of bed and tucked the comforter back around her lover’s body. She felt wonderful, unsure if it was due to the release of long-held in emotion or the full body massage she had received from Amanda’s talented hands the prior evening. Dressing quickly, Lex left a short note on the pillow next to the sleeping woman and then crept quietly out of the room.
Bounding down the stairs, Lex was on her way to the office when she saw a light coming from the kitchen, so she made a slight detour. When she saw Martha at the counter humming to herself as she rolled out biscuits, Lex crept up behind the unsuspecting woman with an evil smile on her face.
“Good morning, sunshine,” she bellowed, scooping up the shocked housekeeper and spinning her around the room.
Martha screamed, then reflexively grabbed Lex’s head, coating her dark hair with flour and bits of dough. “Put me down, you crazy brat,” she huffed. “I’m getting airsick!”
Lex stopped spinning the older woman around, allowing her feet to touch the ground. Remembering what Martha had been doing, she cringed when she saw the housekeeper remove her hands from where they had been clinched in her thick hair. “Ugh. So, I’m guessing I look pretty good in white hair?” Trying to keep an innocent look on her face, Lex reached behind her back and rubbed her palms across the flour-covered countertop.
“I’m
sorry about that, Lexie. It’s just that you startled me.” Seeing the look on Lex’s face, she shook her head and pointed a finger. “Now, wait just a minute.” Martha backed up several steps, with Lex closing in on her.
“What’s the matter, Martha?” Lex continued her pursuit, with her hands remaining behind her back.
The older woman put her hands in front of herself defensively. “Don’t be doing anything that you might regret—”
“Me? Never.” Closing in on Martha, Lex cornered her against the stove. Just as she was about to raise her hands and rub flour in Martha’s hair, she felt two arms wrap around her from behind, trapping her hands to her sides.
A soft voice whispered in her ear. “I can’t leave you alone for a minute, can I?”
Martha laughed and then wiped another blob of flour onto Lex’s nose. “Thanks, Amanda.” She edged past the two women and went back to her biscuit making.
Lex twisted, then picked Amanda up and dangled her in her arms. “Good morning, traitor.”
Amanda looked into the sparkling eyes, then noticed the flour and dough in Lex’s hair. “Umm, good morning?” She used one hand to brush the flour away. “Are you trying to help Martha cook breakfast again?”
Lex rolled her eyes, then shot a look at the housekeeper’s back. “No. This was completely unprovoked. All I did was come in and tell Martha good morning.” To make her case, Lex’s lower lip poked out in a slight pout.
Martha felt the need to defend herself. “Don’t believe a word of it. The brat sneaked up on me and started spinning me around the room.”
Amanda’s eyes narrowed. “You didn’t.”
“Well—” Embarrassed, Lex gave up and continued to look deeply into Amanda’s eyes. The tiny smile on her face never wavered, nor did her attention.
The look of total love on Lex’s face made Amanda feel complete. They stood there, motionless, until Amanda worried that she might be too heavy for Lex to continue to hold in her arms. “Ah, Lex?”
