Kate’s skills with a whip were legendary within the community. To keep her skills honed, daily practice was a requirement.
Her soft tread sounded behind me. When I turned around, her gaze lingered on the targets. A look was exchanged between us, but no words. At least not until she gestured for me to take a seat in the beat-up metal chair.
“Sit!”
“I’m not a dog. Stop barking orders at me.” Her sharp tone had me gritting my teeth.
An exasperated sigh escaped her perky lips, and she closed her eyes. I swear she counted to three from the way her mouth moved. She cracked open her eyes and forced a smile to her face. With another gesture, she indicated the chair again.
“Please, have a seat.”
“Now, that’s more like it.”
“Look…” She lowered herself into the leather chair behind her desk with breathtaking grace.
I gave a shake of my head because this was one woman I didn’t need to be thinking about that way.
She didn’t seem to notice my flagrant stare and continued. “Let’s get a few things out of the way. I dislike you with an intensity bordering on hatred. I have no idea what you think about me, but I don’t care, and frankly it doesn’t matter.”
I opened my mouth to respond, but she lifted her hand to silence me.
“You’re going to come to terms with the things you did. Atone for your sins. Pay your penance. Maybe someday you’ll find salvation. Either way, you’ll embrace your fate. I couldn’t care less if you rot in your grave and suffer the eternal flames of damnation.”
“I don’t remember asking you to give a damn about me.”
“I don’t. Neither does Lily, Kevin, or even Jake. Although I’m certain they all want their time with you when this is over.”
“This?”
“A bit of nasty business. Something a man without morals will be perfect at.”
I had morals.
I wasn’t pleased with the things I’d been forced to do, but no way in hell was I going to explain that to Kate. The who, what, and why of what I’d done were between me and a dead man. I expected no compassion or forgiveness from the ones I hurt. And I had years to stew about my feelings. Frankly, I was tired of feeling like a monster.
Despite what she said, I didn’t give a flying fuck what she thought of me, what any of them thought of me. There was still some good left in me.
It happened. I moved on. They needed to do the same. Although, I never would forgive my father. I suspected they would never forgive me. I’d come to terms with that; no skin off my back.
She glanced at her watch and gave a frustrated sigh.
“That I even have to look at you is hard enough.”
“Then don’t.” I cut her off. “I have no wish to be here. You drove out to the prison and forced me inside your car. I can leave at any time, but you keep pointing your damn finger and ordering me to stay. Well, I’m here. I’m all ears. Start talking.”
She rolled her eyes and then cocked her head toward the door. The tension in her body drained away between one moment and the next. I twisted around to see who had joined us, a little nervous it might be Jake.
It wasn’t, and the hard knot in my gut loosened.
A middle-aged, balding man stood in the doorway. He looked familiar, but I couldn’t place him. He lifted a powdered doughnut to his mouth and took a bite.
What I wouldn’t give for something sweet.
I needed to hurry whatever this was along, buy new clothes, gorge on powdered doughnuts, hit a burger joint, get laid; my to-do list grew by the second. I guess I did have someplace I needed to be.
“Sorry I’m late.” The man swiped at his mouth, smearing white powder over his cheek.
“You know you’re going to get in trouble for that.” Kate tapped the corner of her mouth.
“Naw, Mistr—umm…Mandy says I can have one a week.” He pointed at Kate. “And you’re supposed to keep my secrets!”
“Not from her,” Kate said with a soft laugh.
Smiles only accentuated her stunning beauty. Yet again, I forced my gaze away and turned my thoughts to something other than Jake’s girl.
“You don’t do the bestie thing very well,” the man said with a huff. Turning to me, the smile slipped from his face. “So, they let you out early.”
“Looks like.” Who the hell was this man?
“Who’s your parole officer?” he asked.
I had a piece of paper scrawled with all the pertinent contact details tucked into my wallet. Until the balance of my twelve-year sentence ran out, I would be connected by the hip to a stranger, reporting all the comings and goings of my life. That sucked, but it was a thousand times more tolerable than spending another day behind bars.
“Why do you care?” I snapped back, getting tired of unnecessary conversation.
“It’s called making small talk.” He extended his hand. “I’m Pete Lawry, Detective Special Crimes Unit.”
I glanced at Kate. “Why am I sitting in your office with a Detective?”
Pete ran his hand over the expanse of his scalp. “You haven’t told him?”
She shook her head. “I was waiting on you.”
Pete leaned against the doorjamb and crossed his arms over his chest.
Despite what I suspected to be a serious doughnut habit, the man was fit. Then I realized who this was. Kate’s ex-partner used to have a jelly-filled center. I hadn’t been the only one who’d put on muscle over the intervening years. I had a feeling it had to do with Mistress Mandy.
I didn’t know why Pete sidestepped Mandy Middleton’s title. It wasn’t like I was a stranger to the whole BDSM scene. Hell, I’d grown into it with my brother and Kevin, but then I didn’t know Pete, even if he knew everything about me. Perhaps he was uncomfortable admitting his sub status to me?
“Well, I’m here,” Pete said. “Let’s get him up to speed.”
She waved at Pete to continue. “Why don’t you take the lead? This is your case, after all.”
“This whole crazy plan is your idea,” he retorted.
“That doesn’t mean I like it.” Her entire body rippled with disgust.
I didn’t think she liked speaking to me. Every time her attention turned to me, her eyes narrowed. Sometimes, her hand ghosted up to the scar at her neck.
I wasn’t sure how to describe what I witnessed, except she shivered head to toe every time she looked at me. Deep-seated pain radiated from her eyes.
Then I understood.
I repulsed her, but there was more to it. My proximity set off triggers she struggled to keep a lid on. I should leave, except she was the one who forced me here. Whatever issues she had with me may be my fault, but they were hers to work through.
“What plan?” I didn’t address my comment to Pete, but faced Kate directly.
“Simply put,” Kate said, “we need you.”
“You need me?” I shook my head, trying to clear the wool from my ears. There wasn’t anything wrong with my hearing, and I hadn’t misheard that comment.
Another soulful sigh escaped her lips, and her shoulders slumped. She looked a little green too. I glanced at Pete, wondering if he was going to do anything to help her before she puked. Pete did nothing and merely propped himself in the doorway. He turned his attention to me. Whatever these two had planned, he didn’t like it either.
“How the fuck can you need me?” With my arms crossed over my chest, I leaned back in the chair.
I looked between them, but neither jumped to fill the gap. Silence hung between us until Pete vented a deep sigh. These two were fast wearing out my last nerve. I’d leave, except irritating a cop on my first day out of prison didn’t seem like the best course of action.
Kate picked at her nails. “Simply put, a convicted rapist and murderer is exactly what we need. That person is you and your release from prison is…fortuitous.”
“Now wait a minute…” I jumped to my feet.
Pete stepped into the room
and placed himself between me and Kate.
“Calm your tits and sit your ass back in that chair. What Kate is trying to say is that we have special need of someone with your incredibly unique background. Someone with just enough of a conscience left in him, we hope, to do the right thing. Your criminal connections help as well.”
What did they know about my connections? They were all overseas and of no use to anyone here.
“And what might that be?”
My conscience would be fine as long as I stayed away from rapists, murderers, and thieves. I didn’t want to be a criminal for the rest of my life. I wanted to do good things, but the tingling down my spine had me thinking these two had other plans in mind. Every nerve in my body sent out an alarm.
Horrible things might infest my past, but I made a promise they would remain there. I wanted to be a good man, not the evil beast I’d become. Pieces of my father infected my soul and my only purpose was to eradicate any remnants of him from my life.
He killed those women, and a few men, not me. I may have stood by his side, but the death blows had not been mine. I’d done horrible things with my dick, and implicated my brother in those crimes, but my hands were clean.
Mostly, the lives I had taken were bad men who deserved a swift kick into hell.
Truthfully, I was a slave to my past. An emptiness filled me, and that’s where the devil lived. It fed off my fear, festered with anger, and stormed around stirring up shit. It would be too easy to lash out, and my moral compass had definitely lost its way years ago.
An eye for an eye. A tooth for a tooth.
And death for those who deserved it. I’d extracted my own brand of justice over the years, but I was tired of it.
If there was any good left in me, I wanted to free it. Live it. Breathe it. I wouldn’t forget my past. I couldn’t walk away from it, but I would bury it so deep even the devil couldn’t find it.
Kate and her buddy, Pete, made that impossible. Whatever reason drove them to seek me out could not be good.
Pete hitched a hip on Kate’s desk, keeping himself between me and Jake’s girl. Sometime during our conversation, he’d polished off that unfortunate doughnut. He crossed his arms and stared down at me.
“I work in the Special Crimes Unit.”
“So you said…and?”
“We’ve hit a brick wall on one of our cases. It’s garnering a lot of attention and becoming more high profile by the day. Your release is exactly what we need.”
“My release?” I highly doubted that. I turned my attention to Kate. “And how are you involved?”
I could guess what they needed. My past opened many doors. I wanted to close them and seal them off forever. It looked like these two wanted to barge right through those festering wounds.
Kate exchanged a look with Pete, communicating something silent between them. They seemed to come to some sort of agreement because she let out a huff and pushed out of her chair.
“A girl was kidnapped, and I was hired to find her. My client is high profile. It’s his daughter.”
“And?”
“My investigation touched on one of Pete’s cases. He’s been working on breaking up a sex trafficking operation. There’s one problem.”
I didn’t think I was going to like what she was about to say, but Pete jumped in.
“We have the basics of their operation. We could bust them now, but we’d only take out the lowest players. The head would survive, regroup, and they’d be back in action within a week. We need someone to infiltrate their network and break it up from the inside.”
I about choked. “You want me to join a sex trafficking ring?” I looked between them, my head on a swivel. “I’m a registered sex offender!” That label would follow me for life. “There’s no way in hell that’s happening. Have you forgotten about my parole officer? I’ll be lucky to get a job scooping dog shit. The last thing I need is to be hanging around anyone involved in the kidnapping and sale of sex slaves. What part of fucked up do you not understand? That’s a one-way ticket to jail for the rest of my life if I get caught within sniffing distance of people like that.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Pete said. “And it’s why I need to know who your parole officer is. We need to rope them into the operation.”
“Rope them in for what?”
“To look the other way, asshole,” Kate snipped. “And for what it’s worth, you’re doing this. We know where the next auction is. You’re going as a buyer.”
“A buyer?” I glared at her. “With what money? You took it all away.”
“You’ll have what you need,” she said, “and it’s perfect really. Spoiled rich boy who’s run afoul of the law? Not only are you a registered sex offender with multiple rape convictions, but you survived a Thai jail after murdering a girl in a scene gone wrong. You’re exactly the kind of over-privileged asshole who would say fuck it to the world and purchase a slave fresh out of prison. You’re known for being unscrupulous in how you go about getting what you want.”
“Wait an ever-loving second! What part of me never again going behind bars do you not understand?”
“What part of You owe me do you not understand?”
My debt to Kate would never be paid. But this? It was madness.
“I don’t know which side of crazy you woke up on today, but hooking up with slave traffickers is out of the question. I want a nice life. A quiet life.”
I deserved a break, goddammit!
I wanted to lead a good life. Even I deserved a second chance. Didn’t these people get it?
“You can save so many innocent lives,” Kate said.
“By buying one? Destroying her life?” They didn’t get it. They didn’t know. Not like I did. “If I buy a girl, you know what comes next?”
Defilement. Destruction. Death?
Kate glanced down. Pete’s gaze followed hers to the floor.
Oh, they knew. They knew, and they didn’t care. How could they judge me when they so easily consigned a hapless victim to a fate worse than death?
“That’s right. They’ll expect certain things of me.” Whichever poor soul drew the wrong stick would become my slave. “It’s not like I can buy a slave, shake hands with the owner, and go on my way. Not if you want me to infiltrate the upper echelons of the operation. There will be certain expectations.”
“We know what’s expected,” Kate said with a whisper.
“You know? And you thought I’d jump on board?”
She flinched at my shout.
“I’m not going back to prison.”
Not now.
Not ever.
Chapter 4
“Easy now,” Pete held his hands out in a calming gesture, but I was done with these two.
A few hours out of the joint and they already plotted my path right back in.
“Don’t Easy now me, doughnut boy!”
Pete flinched. Kate smacked her palm down on the table, as if she could get my attention, but I’d had enough.
The things I’d done would haunt me for the rest of my life. I was certain they would haunt Kate and Lily for the rest of theirs. There was no way to undo what I’d done, but going forward I made the decision to walk a righteous path.
Without another word, I shouldered past Pete and stormed out.
I ran right into a furious Mitzy. She placed herself between me and the door. The little spitfire thrust an 8 by 10 photograph in my face.
“Her name is Clara, asshole. She’s nineteen. This weekend she’ll be sold to the highest bidder.”
The smile on the young woman in the photograph lit up her entire being. Long auburn hair cascaded down her shoulders. Brilliant blue eyes stared out at me, and the crispness of her smile radiated pure joy. She wore some sort of uniform with the letter A on it. Shit, was she a fucking cheerleader? The girl couldn’t be more perfect.
“I don’t care about her.” Except I did. I one-hundred percent cared what happened to this innocent girl. The joy in
that picture no longer belonged to Clara, not if what Mitzy said was true. I’d seen that transformation before, carefree one minute and terrified the next.
Kate and Pete joined the defiant Mitzy who took a step toward me waving the photograph in my face.
“Clara!” Mitzy shouted. “C-L-A-R-A.”
“I know how to spell!” I sidestepped Mitzy, but she mirrored my movement, blocking me from the door.
“Say it,” Mitzy demanded.
“Say what?”
“Say her name.”
“This isn’t something I can help you with.” I gripped Mitzy’s wrist and forced her arm down. My eyes followed Clara’s gracious smile. Mitzy gave a surprised grunt when I picked her up and deposited her to the side.
“Josh,” Kate said, stepping to Mitzy’s side, “please don’t leave.”
I spun around and shoved an accusatory finger at Kate.
“I don’t know what’s going on in that head of yours, but this isn’t a conversation we’re having. I can’t change the things I did…”
“No, Josh, you can’t…”
I didn’t like the way she kept repeating my name. I knew why she was doing it.
Kate tried appealing to my base humanity. Only, I’d tossed that out years ago. My intention was to forge a new path, leave the monster I had been behind, but that wasn’t happening when my last victim stood before me and repeated my name over and over with a gentleness I didn’t deserve.
“But you can atone for it, Joshua.” She reverted to my full name, gutting me with her tenderness. “You can help these girls.”
Kate didn’t know me very well. My entire goal was to disappear into obscurity.
Tears ran down Mitzy’s cheeks. She thrust the picture in my face, forcing me to look at Clara’s gentle face, her bright eyes, and her infectious smile.
“They took Clara.” Pete stepped around the women and stood before the doors leading outside. “They have an auction once a month and she’ll be sold, along with a dozen others, this weekend.”
Embracing Fate: A Captive Hearts Novel Page 4
