by Mary Martel
Maybe I was thinking too much into it and they'd simply been hurt and lashing out. That was understandable, though it hurt like a mother.
I swallowed down the lump suddenly lodged in my throat and almost choked on my own stupid emotions. There was no time for them here, no room to question my actions. Later, I could cry and worry then.
"Julian," I said, and had to pause to clear my throat. "I need you to make something for me, and I need a rush order on it because they are coming to get me tomorrow. Quinton will tell you what I need. I'm going to go pack and hide out in my room. Please, just leave me be for right now. I need some space for myself for a while. It's nothing personal, I just... need to be alone."
Neither of them looked like they liked it very much, but they let me go and I practically ran to my bedroom. I shut the door behind me, and even though locks in this house were relatively pointless, I locked the door anyways. Maybe someone would try it, find it locked, and think twice about barging in on me.
All I knew for certain was I absolutely hoped Tyson and Dash stayed the hell away from me, because I could take no more of their abuse before something inside me broke beyond repair and I wouldn't be able to come back from it.
As much as I wanted to crawl into bed and bawl my eyes out, I wouldn't allow myself the luxury of doing so just yet. Instead, I dug a duffel bag out from my closet and very quickly packed it with the essentials I thought I might need. I did this as fast as humanly possible and got the heck out of there. I absolutely did not want to run the risk of bumping into Dash again so I could be verbally destroyed. Therefore, I needed to avoid the spaces we shared together. I didn't think it was right that, since he was so upset with me, I used any of our shared spaces. I didn't want him to have to be around me if that was the last place he wanted to be.
So I wouldn't use the bathroom in here or go into the closet again. I could do that if it made things easier for my ginger boyfriend. In the end, he would forgive me and still be one of my boyfriends, this I was certain of, I just hoped like hell he'd be able to forgive himself.
If I thought I could get away with it, I'd take my duffel bag down to the room I'd originally used while staying here, but I figured that would piss Quinton off because there literally wasn't anything in there anymore, the whole place had been cleared out when I moved in here.
I would ask if I could spend the night in Quinton's room, he'd have absolutely no problem with me staying with him, but I didn't want to cause more problems for him. He would try to defend me from the rest of the guys and they wouldn't look at him kindly if they thought he didn't have a problem with me leaving. It would cause more problems between the guys, and though I might be selfish from time to time, I would never do that to Quinton, or any of them for that matter.
When I finished packing, I locked my closet door from the outside and then went around and locked my bathroom door from the outside as well.
I sat the duffel on the edge of my bed, plugged my phone into the charger on my nightstand, and crawled on top of the comforter. I scooted along until I was in the middle of the bed and leaned back against the headboard. I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs. I sat there like that for a really long time, thinking about nothing and trying hard not to cry.
Hours later, when I knew it wouldn't work no matter how hard I tried, I uncurled from my position and stretched across the bed toward the nightstand I actually used to dump things on. I grabbed the remote off the top and leaned back against the headboard. I hit the power button on the remote and turned the television on. I debated for a few minutes on what to watch and finally clicked on the Amazon Prime App. It took me to the home screen and I arrowed over until I could click on purchases and rentals.
Everything Tyson and I had been watching showed up, and I quickly scrolled through until I found something that had just been for me, something I had watched all on my own. I know it seemed stupid, but I couldn't watch something that would remind me of him because his words were already haunting my mind. I figured watching something we had together would only make it so much worse.
There wasn't much there that I'd watched on my own, everything came attached with memories of either Tyson or the group of guys as a whole. I clicked on The Challenge. I'd only ever watched that myself because I hadn't found one of the guys who enjoyed it yet. I enjoyed watching it because hello! CT was fine, even with his dad bod, and people like Bananas and Wes were hilarious.
I picked a season at random, I owned all of them that you could own through Amazon, and picked an episode at random as well.
It took three episodes straight of me crying silently nonstop through each one for exhaustion to take over, and I finally passed out lying on my bed, on top of my comforter, curled up in a tight ball.
I woke up to someone removing the headband from my hair, and then my hair being pushed back from my face.
I blinked my eyes open and stared up into silver eyes. Not exactly who I'd been expecting to find looming over me in my bedroom.
"Trenton?" I asked sleepily. "What are you doing in here?"
I brushed his hand away from my head and sat up quickly. I stretched my arms up above my head and scooted back a little, putting a safe distance between the two of us. I really did not want to go through another round of someone telling me how crappy of a person I was. It hurt way too much.
He leaned in further and shoved his face right in mine. He didn't look angry like the others had. He didn't look anything other than curious and very, very alert. His hand came up to my face and cupped my cheek lightly. The soft, careful touch of his hand didn't match the intensity of his eyes.
"Tell me what's going on," he whispered harshly. "You should know by now that you can trust me and you can trust my brother. We aren't going to judge you or call you bad names, or reference you to some other woman who blew through our lives forever and a day ago and should have no bearing on you or our relationship with you whatsoever. I don't know what the fuck is the matter with your coven right now, but I am not them, I am not even like them in the slightest. My brother and I are bound to you for life, and nothing you do will ever change that unless you're dead. Only then it won't matter because we'll both want to die too."
My mouth dropped open, and I whispered back, "Don't say things like that. I don't want to think about either you or your brother dying. If something happens to me, I want you both to go on living your lives, and I want you to find a girl to fall in love with and make lots of babies with and live a life happily ever after. I want your brother to do that too. I've sat money aside for the both of you in case something happens to me, you'll both be set for life. I've made sure of it."
His hand fell away from my face and he sat back on my bed. His eyes studied my face, and I tried to look open and honest even though I knew I was anything but at the moment, because I was keeping this giant secret from him and he wanted me to spill the beans.
"You're joking right?" he asked incredulously. "You have got to fucking be joking. Jesus Christ, Ariel. You can't be that dense."
My head jerked to the side as if he'd struck me. "What?" I croaked out. "What are you talking about?"
He shook his head and laughed bitterly. "Now isn't the right time for this. And you can keep your goddamn money, neither Simon nor myself want your money if we can't have you. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Forget about the bullshit and tell me what's going on here. We're family, you and me, and if there was ever a time for you to be honest with me, now's that time."
I was so confused and I didn't have it in me at the moment to try and figure out the puzzle that was Trenton. My eyes were puffy and sore from crying, and I knew from experience they were bloodshot all to hell and were probably scary to look at. My heart hurt, and I needed to prepare myself for what was to come. I didn't have room for much else.
I decided to go for a little bit of honesty even though I couldn't share it all with him. He was supposed to be my guardian, my protector, after all, a
nd what I was about to do flew in the face of everything he'd been taught and every instinct he had.
Still, I didn't have it in me to flat out lie to his face like I was supposed do to everyone else.
"I can't tell you everything," I said in a quiet rush. "I wish I could, but I really can't. You just have to trust me and know that I would never do anything to jeopardize our family. I understand why Ty and Dash got upset earlier, I really do, and later they'll understand what's going on, but right now I can't tell them. I can't tell you."
"But, you're leaving us?"
I nodded and quickly whispered, "I'm coming back. I'll always come back. I just have to do this one thing... for them. If they know what's going on, they'll want to come with me, and I can't risk that. I can't risk them." I can't risk you.
He studied my face carefully, those silver eyes of his not missing anything. "Quinton knows, otherwise he wouldn't be so calm."
I nodded again but kept my mouth shut. I had already said too much.
"I bet he is having a hard time keeping his mouth shut right about now," Trenton muttered angrily. "I didn't even know what was going on, and I couldn't sit down there with them any longer listening to the shit they are saying about you. Not without putting my fist in someone's face, which is where it was going to end up. I guess I don't give Quinton enough credit. I left Simon down there so that he can keep tabs on all of them and everything they say. He'll give me a rundown of everything later. One of us needed to be with you though, so here I am."
I wanted so badly to ask him what they were saying about me, but I knew that would be the stupidest move ever. I already knew more than enough, and I'd heard more than I ever needed to.
"They don't understand what's happening," I said in their defense.
Trenton's lip curled in disgust. "I don't give a fuck. They have no business talking about you like that and they ought to fucking know better. They've had you a lot longer than Simon and I have, and neither of us thought anything bad about you when we heard what was going down. We were worried about you, yeah, and we wanted to know why you'd do such a thing, but it wasn't enough to make either of us talk shit about you. We'd never do that, and it pisses me off that that's what's going on right now. You don't deserve that, I don't care what you did."
I sighed and laid back down on the bed. Without my headband, my hair fell into my face and I lifted my hand to pull it back, tucking it behind my ear. I wasn't sure how much Trenton knew about Annabell and the relationship she'd had with some of my guys. I knew he knew of her and he'd seen her in the flesh before, but I wasn't sure if anyone had ever shared the story with him or not. She was someone most of them were very guarded about, and I couldn't see them sitting down with Trenton and rehashing all the horrible shit she'd done to them and why they'd come to me with trust issues and a whole lot of baggage. He didn't understand.
"Everything hurts more when your heart is involved," I told him. "If your heart was involved, you might see things differently than what you do now and, who knows, you'd probably be down there with them talking about what a horrible person I am."
Yeah, there absolutely was bitterness in my voice there at the end.
Trenton looked at me like he thought I was crazy. "Jesus, it's like you're blind or something sometimes. I know you're not stupid, but really, I don't get it."
I frowned at him, upset because that had not been a nice thing to say to me and I really didn't need more people not being nice to me right now.
"What are you talking about?"
"If you don't already know, then I'm not going to tell you. I will, however, tell you that once you're gone, I'm going to corner Quinton and beat the truth out of him, and if he doesn't let me in on what's going on then I just might beat the life out of him too. We'll have to see how it goes, but I know if he can be okay with this then I will have to find a way to be too."
I wasn't worried about Quinton, he could take care of himself. And if he wanted to tell Trenton then I'd have to trust his judgment, it would be too late for them to stop me, so I could be okay with that. The rest of it I didn't have the energy for.
"Now," Trenton said, breaking into my thoughts, "we're going to get you under the covers and then I'm going to make you some tea and a light snack. I can't imagine you're in the mood or have the stomach to put down something heavy right now, but you need to eat. I don't know what you're walking into, but you might need to keep your strength about you, so don't even bother to argue with me."
Why were the men in my life so freaking bossy?
Without waiting for me to respond, he stood up from the bed and pulled the corner of the comforter back, taking the sheet with it. He pulled them back as far as he could get with me laying on top of them, and then he slid his arms underneath me, scooping me up. He laid me back down on the bed and pushed me under the covers until I was back in the middle of the bed. He pulled the comforter and sheet over me and tucked me into bed. He placed the remote in my hand and leaned down. His lips brushed across my temple and he murmured, "I'll be right back."
My lips parted and my eyes widened. He was usually so careful not to touch me in any way outside of a hug that I hadn't expected him to kiss me, even if it was meant to be comforting and sweet and nothing more.
Trenton slipped out of my bedroom and I heard the door lock from the outside. Hmm... he must have made himself a key for my door. When, I had no idea, but it didn't bother me that he had one.
Using my remote, I backtracked two episodes and hit play. Trenton came back not ten minutes later and he carried a tray aloft in his hands. He closed the door with his heel and sat the tray down on the bed beside me. He went back to the door and locked it without having to be told to do so.
He came back to the bed and I sat up carefully so as not to spill the contents on the tray.
There were two yellow coffee mugs with steaming water in them. Beside the mugs were packets of tea bags in several different flavors to choose from. One plate sat on the tray and it was covered in little triangle shaped sandwiches. They were cute.
"I don't care what kind of tea I have," I told him honestly, and he nodded. He reached for one of the packets while I asked, "What's on the mini sammies?"
"Turkey, extra sharp cheddar cheese, lettuce, French onion chip dip, and tortilla chips."
It's almost like he knew me better than I knew myself or something, because that sounded exactly like something I would have either made for myself or picked out to eat. And he totally nailed it with the tortilla chips. The only thing missing would be pickles on the side, but I guess those wouldn't have gone well with the tea.
I picked up one of the sandwiches while he dunked the tea bag into one of the yellow mugs. I bit into the sandwich while he moved on to the other mug. It was delicious, and even though I didn't feel like I should be hungry after that giant burger Quinton fed me earlier, I found myself starving. I ate a whole little one before picking up the mug of tea. I blew on it for several seconds before taking a sip. It was alright, the warmth of it made me feel good and I hadn't realized how cold I was until then. I could usually leave or take tea, and would always pick coffee above it, but I couldn't drink coffee right now, it would make me jittery and more nervous than I already was.
I sipped my tea until it was almost gone and ate three other sandwiches while Trenton watched me patiently. When I laid back down and placed both my palms over my now full tummy, Trenton let out a satisfied sigh and picked up his own tea. He had waited for me to finish before even touching anything himself. I didn't watch him eat like he had me, it seemed like a weird thing to do and I didn't want for things to get weird between us. I was struggling to keep his earlier words out of my head so they didn't freak me out. No matter what he thought, I wasn't dense. He'd just never shown any of the signs before, or maybe I just really didn't want to see them.
I ignored all of it, focused on my show, and Trenton ate the rest of the sandwiches. When he was done, he got up with the tray and walked it back to the
kitchen. This time he left the door open and came right back.
Unbelievably, my eyelids started to grow heavy again and I struggled to keep them open and pay attention to my show.
"Sleep," Trenton muttered, and the remote was slid out of my hand. I felt the bed dip as he laid down beside me on top of the covers.
I didn't have the heart to tell him to go away, not when I felt so raw because of how the others had spoken to me. It felt nice not to be alone and I needed him at the moment.
Tomorrow, I'd tell him to get out of my bed tomorrow.
I woke up much later to the sound of voices whispering around me. Quinton and Julian had joined us. One of them kissed my forehead and another ran the backs of his knuckles gently down my jaw. The knuckle touch I'd bet my life on had come from Quinton and the kiss from Julian, but I would never know for sure.
Neither of them asked Trenton to leave and he didn't offer. Nor did he move from his spot on the bed beside me. I told myself he was just being a good bodyguard, and then I told myself I wasn't a liar.
A warm body slid under the blanket beside me, and another one laid down at the foot of the bed with a hand wrapped possessively around my ankle.
I wanted to ask them what they were doing or question them about what had happened downstairs while I'd been up here hiding, but my mind was too sluggish to get the words out and I fell right back to sleep.
I knew what that meant. Trenton had given me some special tea that put me under. Likely something he'd pilfered from Julian's stash. I couldn't even be mad, sleep was far better than dealing with the bullshit surrounding me.
Trenton was gone when I woke up in the morning, but Quinton and Julian remained beside me.
Chapter Fourteen
Weirdness Overload
After all this time it actually felt incredibly lonely to be alone. Go figure. And I'd only been on my own for all of forty-five minutes.
