by M. A. Foster
“I’m not ready to love again. Not like that.”
“Honey, I don’t think you get to decide when you’re ready. Your heart will decide what it wants and when.”
Cam
“Cameron, I feel like I haven’t seen you in weeks,” my mother says, wrapping her petite arms around my neck and kissing my cheek before taking the seat across from me at the kitchen table.
“I’m sorry. I’ve been a little preoccupied in my free time.” I smirk.
She smiles. “Oh?” She props her elbow on the table and rests her chin in her palm. “Are you still seeing Jules?”
I shake my head. “No. We ended things a few months ago.”
She reaches across the table and rests her hand on top of mine. “Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry. It’s been ten years. Maybe it’s time to move on.” She’s sweet and a little naïve if she thinks I’ve only been with Jules for the past ten years.
I let out a soft chuckle. “We’re fine, Mom. We’re still good friends. It’s just that….” I pause, leaning back in the chair and clasping my hands behind my neck.
“I think I know what’s going on.”
I raise my brows. “You do?”
“Yes, and I want you to know your father and I love you no matter what.”
My brows furrow. “Okay,” I drawl. “What are you talking about?”
“You’re gay.” I lean my head back and laugh. “I mean seriously, Cameron. Who the hell dates a girl for ten years—a beautiful girl—and doesn’t marry her?”
I nearly choke on my gum and accidentally swallow it.
“Mom.” I cough. “Jules has been my best friend for ten years. We dated off and on, but it was never serious. We had our fun, but we’re all grown up now and we want different things. I’ll always care about her, and we’re still great friends. And though I appreciate the fact that I have two amazing, nonjudgmental parents, I’m not gay. I’m actually seeing someone.”
She brings her hand to her chest. “Really?”
“Yes. That’s kinda why I came by. I need to tell you something.”
“What is it?” She gives me a shaky smile. “You’re making me nervous.”
“Before I tell you, I want you to know that it’s very new, but I’m in love with her and as soon as she realizes she loves me, too, I’m going to marry her.”
She brings her hand to her mouth, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “Who is she?”
“Emerson.”
She closes her eyes as if pained by the news and shakes her head. “Oh, Cameron.” She sighs. “You’re going to get your heart broken.”
I frown. “Why do you say that?”
“Honey, her husband just died. She’s grieving. I’m not saying Emerson doesn’t care about you, because I know she does, but I don’t want you to get your hopes up.”
“He didn’t just die, Mom. It’s been eight months.”
“Emerson was married to Marcus for nearly twenty-two years. They built a life together. A family. A love like that is hard to move on from. She has Jayla to look after, and her child comes first. If you’re serious about her, you’re going to have to be very patient.”
“I know that. Like I said, it’s still new and no one knows, so please keep it between us.”
“I won’t say a word. But I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into.”
“I can handle it.”
Emerson
It’s Friday night and Heritage Bay Academy’s homecoming game. Once again, the Mackenzies are all here huddled up on the bleachers, except for Max and Willow who are standing down by the fence so Willow can see Cole.
“There’s Harper.” Jay points as she stands. “I’m gonna go down there so I can say hi to Zach and wish him good luck before the game starts.”
Bass rises from his spot behind us and follows her down to the fence separating the crowd from the field.
“Hey.” I look up to see Chris hovering over me. He reaches out to shake my father’s hand, then gestures to the empty space Jay just vacated. “Mind if I sit?”
“No.” I scoot over a little to make room, and he settles beside me.
“You know, I haven’t missed a homecoming game since sophomore year,” he admits, staring out at the field. A group of students dressed in school spirit attire carrying a Hurricanes homecoming banner crosses the far side of the field and takes their positions in front of the tunnel.
“You’re here alone?” I ask.
“It’s high school football, Em.” He chuckles and gestures around us. “I’m not really alone.” He throws an arm around my shoulders and leans over to speak in my ear. “But thanks for your concern.”
I roll my eyes and turn my attention to the field. Chris is still attractive and fit, and he’s a doctor. I seriously doubt he’s ever alone. I wonder if he’s still seeing Cam’s ‘friend.’
After I had lunch with my mother last week, I decided to pump the brakes on this thing with Cam, keeping our interactions to brief texts, with the excuse that I was busy planning Jay’s homecoming dinner party. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but I needed some space to think.
I care about Cam. A lot. I like spending time with him in and out of bed, and I’m struggling with my feelings and the guilt over Marcus that weighs heavily on my heart. Then there are other questions that linger in my mind. What if it doesn’t end well? What if Liam hates me for taking his best friend away? What if I fall in love with him?
The Scorpions’ “Rock You Like A Hurricane” starts playing over the speakers and the crowd roars. We all get to our feet and I immediately begin searching for Jay. She’s still at the fence with her friends—and Bass is right beside her.
A moment later, the team crashes through the middle of the banner, making their way to the center of the field before breaking into a hip-hop style dance routine. Player number fifteen, my nephew, Cole, breaks away from the group, bouncing on the balls of his feet and moving his arms up and down, gesturing for the crowd to cheer louder. Then he runs over to the fence and holds up his hand for a high five from Willow before jogging over to join his team at the bench.
Player number six, Zach, steps forward, points to Jay, kisses the tips of his index and middle fingers, taps them over his heart, and then throws his hands in the air with the universal rocker sign.
I might’ve just swooned a little bit.
Jay returns the gesture and my heart expands in my chest. My eyes gloss over and a knot forms in the pit of my stomach. I send a silent prayer to Marcus to protect her heart.
“Looks like our golden boy is in love.” Chris bumps his shoulder against mine. “Hearts are breaking all over Heritage Bay right now,” he teases with a light laugh.
My father huffs out a laugh of his own. “That boy has been in love with my granddaughter since he was six.”
I bark out a laugh and point to Bass beside Jay, jumping up and down, clapping and blowing kisses at Zach. Jay turns and smacks him on the arm, and we all burst out laughing.
It’s then that I notice Cam on the other side of Bass, leaning with his forearms propped on top of the fence. My gaze falls on his perfectly sculpted ass encased in a pair of dark jeans, trailing up to the navy blue T-shirt stretched over his broad back, up to his face, which is turned to the side, looking over his shoulder—at me. His jaw clenches with an expression I can’t quite read until his eyes flick to Chris and then back to me.
Fucking hell.
Cam
Slamming the garage door, I charge toward the kitchen to grab a beer from the fridge before heading to the living room. Grabbing the remote from the coffee table, I drop down on the couch and turn on the television to ESPN, willing myself to calm the fuck down. Emerson has been avoiding me all week, claiming she was busy planning Jay’s homecoming dinner, so I gave her some space—only to catch her chumming it up with Chris.
There’s a faint knock on the front door, but I choose to ignore it and turn up the TV. I know it’s Emerson, but I’m too pissed off to even look at h
er face right now. She knocks harder and I turn the TV up louder.
Suddenly a set of keys are tossed onto the coffee table and Emerson is standing over me with her hands on her hips. She’s so tiny, it’s almost comical that she tries to look so intimidating. But I keep my eyes trained on the TV because I’m pissed at her.
“Did you hear me knocking?”
“Yep.”
“Why didn’t you answer the door?”
“You’ve got a key.” I gesture to the ones on the coffee table. “Obviously you know how to use it.”
“Cam.”
“What?”
“Why are you mad?”
Sitting up, I wrap my arms around her thighs and stand.
“What are you doing?” she screeches as she falls over my shoulder.
Smacking her on the ass, I start down the hall, heading toward my bedroom in long, determined strides. “I asked you to come to me if you started having any doubts.” I toss her on the bed and toe off my shoes. “Get undressed, Emerson.” Palming my T-shirt, I pull it over my head.
“I wasn’t doubting us. I just needed some space to work some stuff out in my head.”
“Pushing me away isn’t an option.” I make a quick work of the button on my jeans and yank them and my boxer briefs down my thighs, kicking them off to the side.
“Cam,” she breathes, her eyes filled with lust as her gaze trails over my body before landing on my cock.
“Clothes. Off,” I demand.
She sits up to pull her Heritage Bay T-shirt over her head and tosses it on the floor. I stifle a groan when she removes her bra and tosses it beside her shirt. “What if Zach and Jay come here?”
“Then they’re gonna get an earful,” I reply, dragging her jeans down her legs and tossing them on the floor with the rest of her clothes before crawling up the bed and settling between her thighs.
“Cam,” she pants.
“Guess you’re gonna have to be quiet.”
Pushing her thighs apart, I dip my head and inhale her scent. It’s intoxicating. Flattening my tongue, I run it up the seam of her soft, bare lips, circling her firm clit before sucking it into my mouth and slipping two fingers inside her.
“Oh shit,” she gasps. Her fingers curl into my hair, tugging as she arches her back off the bed, rolling her hips and fucking my fingers. I want to savor everything about her: her taste, her touch, her sounds.
With her head thrown back, eyes closed and mouth open, her little breathy moans tell me she’s close. She pulls harder on my hair, her thighs tightening, trapping my head between her legs, and I feel her clamping down on my fingers. Releasing her clit, I move my tongue in slow, leisurely circles as she comes down from her orgasm, panting and breathing a sigh of content.
Sitting up, I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. “I could come just by watching you come,” I tell her as I kiss my way up her body, taking one of her nipples in my mouth as I push inside her.
She snakes her arms around my neck and curls her fingers into my hair, rocking her hips slowly in time with mine.
My thrusts are slow but deep as I move my lips to her other nipple, swirling my tongue around the tight bud before sucking it into my mouth.
“Cam,” she breathes. “Kiss me.”
Releasing her nipple, I trail my lips across her chest, up her neck and over her jaw before covering her mouth with mine. Emerson slides her hands down my back until she’s gripping my ass, urging me to go deeper, harder.
Bending my knees, I straighten my arms so I’m hovering over her. Our eyes lock on each other’s as I pump into her, harder, faster until I feel her clench around me. She’s going to come again. And this time, I’m gonna come with her.
“Keep your eyes open, Emerson. I wanna see you come, and I want you to see me. See what you do to me.”
Her mouth falls open with a silent cry as she clenches around me and her eyes glaze over in ecstasy. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
“I told my mother about us,” she informs me as I walk her out to her car.
“What’d she say?”
“She’s worried about Liam, and to be honest, I am, too. I don’t want to hurt him, or anyone. Especially Jay. I like being with you, Cam. I like what we have, but we have to decide if it’s worth hurting others.”
“I told my mother about us, too.”
“Cam,” she groans. “She’s probably so angry with me.”
“She’s not angry with either of us. She’s worried that I’ve gotten myself in over my head, but I disagree. I like to think I’m a smart guy and patient. As long as I know there’s a chance for us, I’ll wait.”
“What about Elizabeth?”
“I don’t care what my sister thinks.”
“Well just so you know, I extended the olive branch and invited Elizabeth and Mike to the dinner party tomorrow night.”
“And?”
“They declined.”
“That’s unfortunate, because it’s Zach she’s hurting. It pisses me off that she can’t set aside her feelings for one night for her son.”
Just then, Zach whips his Jeep into the driveway and hops out. “What’s up, lovebirds,” he says with an eye roll before slamming the door and heading inside.
“What’s his problem? Shouldn’t he be out celebrating their win?” I ask.
“He’s mad that we’re making him keep a secret from Jay.”
“I feel bad about that.”
“He’ll get over it.”
I’m awakened by the sound of the front door closing, followed by the click of the deadbolt. I blink my eyes open in the dark room illuminated only by the TV. I must’ve fallen asleep on the couch.
I squint, zeroing in on the figure tiptoeing through the living room carrying a duffel bag. “Logan?”
“Shit. You’re awake?” he whispers.
“What are you doing here?”
He plops down on the opposite sofa and drapes his forearms over his thighs. “I’m just here for the weekend. I need my dad’s help with some legal stuff, but I didn’t want to be railed with questions by my mom in the middle of the night.”
“Everything okay?”
“Not really.” He leans back and runs his fingers through his hair. “I saw Zach’s Jeep in the driveway.”
“He’s been out for hours. They had their homecoming game last night.”
“They win?”
“Of course.” I smirk. “How did you get here?”
“Uber.”
“And the guard let him through?”
“One of the guards hopped in the front seat and rode with us.” He lets out a light laugh. “They act like the President lives here or something.”
“They’re just doing their jobs. We pay a lot of money for our privacy. So, are you going to tell me what’s going on?”
“I have a daughter.” He pauses to blow out a breath, and I raise my brows. “Her name is Zoe. Her mother, Whitney, and I dated in college for almost a year. She broke up with me right before Christmas, and during winter break she left school. I never heard from her again until she showed up at my apartment with Zoe. I didn’t need a DNA test to know she was mine.” He leans forward and rests his elbows on his thighs. “Do you remember when Zach was little, he had those little blond curls?”
I chuckle. “Yeah. Your mom refused to cut his hair because she loved his curls.”
Logan nods. “I know. Zoe has those same blonde ringlets. Long story short, Whitney and I tried to make it work. We crammed into my tiny-ass apartment. She stayed home with Zoe while I went to class. A few weeks ago, I came home from class and she was gone. Like all of her and Zoe’s shit was just gone. I called her phone, and it had been disconnected. I didn’t know how to get in touch with her family or friends, so I called my dad and he hired a private investigator to find her. She’s in Heritage Bay.”
Emerson
Jay is lying in bed staring at the ceiling when I walk into her room. “You look deep in thought.” I snicker.
She gives me a sleepy smile. “I’m trying to talk myself into getting out of this bed. I have an appointment with Xavier at ten.”
I look down at my watch. “You better get moving. It’s already nine.”
“But I’m too comfortable,” she whines.
I drop down on the edge and pass her the envelope.
“Another letter?”
I offer her a sad smile. “For homecoming.”
She nods as she runs her fingers over the word “Jaybird” written in Marcus’s handwriting on the front.
Standing from the bed, I head for the door, then pause with my hand on the knob. “Jay, I’ve never read any of your letters. So, if you ever want to talk to me about them or share them with me….” I shrug.
She presses the envelope against her chest and stares back up at the ceiling. “I know.”
After Jay leaves for her salon appointment, Harper comes into the kitchen. “Need help?”
“Actually, yes.” I walk over to the kitchen table and pull out one of the small boxes from the shopping bag, then pass it to Harper. “What do you think?”
Cole got Harper these really cute bracelets for her birthday at this little boutique near the square, so I picked up a few to give out to the girls at the party. Honestly, there were so many to choose from, I was tempted to buy one of everything. I even bought one for myself, a silver bangle with the word “breathe” etched across the top.
“Oh, I love this.” She brushes her finger over the “live a happy life” charm, then snaps the lid back on. “Do you need me to put these in gift bags?”
“Please.” I pass her a handful of tissue paper and small gift bags. “How was she?” I ask.
“She’s okay. Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Why the notes?”
“It’s just Marcus’s way of being included in her life. You don’t approve?”
“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “I feel like each note reopens the wound, but at the same time I wish my mother and sister had left me with more than just an old notebook full of secrets.”
