by Judith Keim
Lulu made note of his remark and decided not to wait to let Abby know how serious she was about purchasing the house.
After the dance ended, dessert was announced and everyone made a dash for the display of pies, cakes, and pastries that were laid out.
Lulu stood with Becca and Imani, making sure the buffet line moved well.
“Looks delicious,” said Becca. “I hope there’s still some left by the time we can help ourselves.”
“Me too,” said Imani. Her eyes twinkled with amusement. “This sari can cover a lot of sins.”
Lulu laughed. Imani had a well-known craving for sweets.
“Not standing in line?” said Miguel.
The three of them shook their heads.
“Ah, I see. You’re supposed to wait. Should I get anything special, Lulu? Something to share?”
Becca and Imani turned to her.
Hating the heat filling her cheeks, Lulu said, “No, thanks.”
After Miguel moved on, Becca elbowed Lulu. “Are you crazy?”
Lulu knew Becca thought there was a lot more to Miguel’s invitation, but after talking to him earlier, she was well aware he was making the offer simply to be polite. Besides, the thought of making her confession to him tomorrow made her feel a little sick.
At the end of the evening, Lulu shook hands with the guests who were leaving. She’d met some very nice, hard-working people. Mark and Jean Pierce headed her way. Lulu had learned from Cami that every year so far, they’d won two first-class airline tickets in a contest for being married the longest and then given them away to a much younger couple. It was all part of a scheme Lettie and Jean had cooked up several years ago. Fear of flying had kept Lettie at home. This was just a sweet way of giving someone else wings.
After the last guests had left, the staff gathered in the kitchen.
“Help yourselves to whatever you want, ladies and gentlemen,” Darren announced. “Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you.”
“Yes,” said Cami. “Thank you for a job well done.”
Exhausted, Lulu told Cami that as long as she wasn’t needed, she was going home.
“See you tomorrow,” Cami said. “Though the inn is packed with guests, it should be a quiet Sunday morning. As part of the weekend package, we serve a late brunch so people can sleep in.”
“If you need me, call,” Lulu said, wrapping the fur around her and stepping outside.
“There you are,” said Miguel as he walked over to her. “I’ve been waiting to give you a ride to Cami’s house.”
“Oh, that’s kind of you, but I don’t live there anymore. I’ve moved. Besides, I have my car.” The last thing she wanted to do was to be with Miguel when her defenses were low.
“Okay, just thought I’d ask. What time do you want to meet tomorrow?”
“Why don’t you come to Abby and Lisa’s old house at ten? That’s where I live now.”
“I’ll be there.” Miguel gave her a little salute and went on his way.
Lulu watched him go, wondering if he had any idea of how difficult it had been for her to turn down his offer.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
The next morning Lulu lay in bed staring at the rosy fingers of light reaching through the blinds in her bedroom window, beckoning to her. It promised to be a bright, sunny February morning. But Lulu could think of nothing else but how her day was likely to evolve into a stormy, gray existence. She knew now, as Rafe had told her, Miguel would have done what was required, would have asked her to marry him rather than leave his baby without a father. But that wasn’t something she’d wanted.
Wishing she could renege on her invitation and send him a text instead, she got out of the bed to face a day she was dreading. The house she thought of as a nice place to raise a baby alone now seemed large and empty.
After a hot shower, Lulu dressed in jeans and a warm sweater and headed downstairs to the kitchen. Cami always served something sweet in the morning. Maybe, Lulu thought, it would make things easier if she had a treat of some kind for Miguel.
She fixed herself a cup of coffee, and following a basic recipe she found online, she began putting together the ingredients for buttery sugar cookies. Melba made some similar to this recipe, and she’d always loved them.
As she scooped the last batch off the baking sheet, she heard the sound of Miguel’s truck. She quickly placed warm cookies on a plate, set it by the coffee maker, and put the pan in the sink.
The sound of the doorbell broke through the tension that had stiffened her shoulders. I can do this, she told herself.
Her heart skipped a beat at the smile on Miguel’s face when she opened the door.
“I smell something wonderful.” He entered the house as she stood by nervously holding the door.
“I thought we could sit in the kitchen and have coffee,” Lulu said, her stomach whirling.
“Okay,” Miguel said giving her a questioning look.
“Then we can talk.” The firmness in Lulu’s voice didn’t reflect the quivering inside her body. She had no idea how one went about telling someone her kind of news.
“Great party last night, huh?” Miguel commented, following her into the kitchen.
“Very nice. A great way to break up the winter months.”
“You looked beautiful. I noticed you laughing with Rafe on the dance floor.”
Lulu smiled at the memory. “He said something silly. Honestly, he’s such a wonderful man. I love to think he’s my adopted grandfather. I never knew my own. How’s it going in Chile?”
“It’s very interesting. Though it would seem the process is the same, every operation is unique. The grapes, the climates, and varying techniques all make a difference. Adam and Drew are thinking of working together on producing something new to the area. We’ll see if my research helps or not.”
“I think the four of you are going to be a big success,” Lulu said, admiring the earnest expression on Miguel’s face when he discussed wines.
Miguel walked over to the sliding-glass door and looked out at the garden. “Abby and Lisa did such a good job with this. I remember how rundown the place looked until they took it over. The renovations they made are great.” He turned to her. “I can’t wait for you to see the addition to my house after the changes are complete. You’re one of the few who understood how much I liked the idea of sleeping in the open while being inside.”
He studied her, his look reaching inside her. “You remember that night?”
Lulu pressed her lips together and nodded. When she could catch her breath, she said, “That’s what I have to talk to you about. Rafe said I owed it to you.”
Miguel frowned. “Owed me what?”
“You’d better sit down,” Lulu told him. Her knees were wobbling and her mouth was dry.
They sat at the kitchen table, facing one another.
His look grew suspicious. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“That night ... I got pregnant. I lost the baby thirteen days ago.”
The blood drained from Miguel’s face. “What? You were going to have my baby? Are you all right?”
Miserable, she nodded.
Color raced back to Miguel’s cheeks. “Wait! You were going to have my baby and didn’t even tell me?”
“You were in Chile ...” her voice trailed away.
He stared at her with suspicion. “When I came back to Oregon with Valentina, did you know then?”
Tears filled Lulu’s eyes. “Yes, but I didn’t know how you’d feel about it. You can have any woman you choose. They all want you. Why would you choose me or the baby you didn’t plan on?”
His lips drawn into a thin line, Miguel shook his head.
She forced herself to continue. “I was going to raise your baby alone ... and then I lost it—the baby I already loved.” Tears, warm and wet, slid down her cheeks.
“Am I to understand that when you had the decency to tell me, you would also announce that you were going to bring up my child alone
? Do I have everything straight?” Miguel’s voice shook with anger. His eyes darkened as he stared at her. “To you, I was just the sperm donor.”
She fought to find the right words. “Rafe told me you’d do the honorable thing and ask me to marry you. But as I told him, I won’t be married to someone who is acting only out of a sense of duty.”
Miguel got up out of his chair and marched over to the sliding-glass door.
Lulu clutched her hands and remained seated as he continued to stare out through the glass. When he turned around, the sadness in his eyes tore at her heart.
“You have no idea who I am. Not at all. But I know you better now. You’re just like your father, making people believe in you until they discover that everything about you is untrue.”
Nauseous, Lulu clasped her stomach. “That’s so unfair! You know I’m not like my father.”
“Do I? Think about it.” He headed for the door.
Lulu jumped to her feet. “Wait! I was scared and confused. I thought I was doing the right thing. I didn’t want to put you in that kind of situation. You’d be able to have your freedom and be able to choose anyone you want to share your life with .... I never thought ...”
His eyes widened with surprise, then grew moist with hurt. “My God! Is that what you think of me? I’m out of here,” Miguel announced, cutting her off.
His shoulders slumped as he hurried out of the house.
The roar of the truck’s engine indicated his anger.
Lulu covered her mouth and doubled over.
Later, she was curled up on the couch when Cami knocked on her door and entered.
“What in the world happened between you and Miguel? He’s furious that I knew about the baby and didn’t mention it to him. And Rafe called me. He and Miguel had words.”
“I tried to explain that I didn’t want to pin him down to a wife and a child he may not want. But I screwed up. He thinks I don’t respect him at all. I never got the chance to tell him how much I like him. He walked out before I could say it.”
Cami gave her an incredulous look. “Whoa! You said all that?”
Sobbing miserably, Lulu could only nod.
Cami sat down on the couch and hugged Lulu. “Girl, you’ve really messed up this time. The Lopez pride is well-known.”
“What am I going to do?”
Cami sighed. “As Nonnee would say, ‘Time will help, even if it doesn’t heal all things.’ Maybe, it’s a good thing Miguel’s going back to Chile.”
“Going back to Valentina, you mean,” Lulu countered, as fresh tears filled her eyes.
“We’ll see. We’ll see.” Cami gave her a squeeze that did nothing to make Lulu feel better.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Lulu wasn’t surprised when Rafe showed up at her house a little later. They sat together in the kitchen, sharing coffee and the sugar cookies that now seemed a foolish gesture for Miguel.
Trying hard to keep herself together, Lulu repeated what she’d told Cami.
Rafe’s dark-eyed gaze settled on her. “Miguel is very angry right now, thinking we coordinated an effort to keep him from finding out. More than that, his feelings are hurt by how you view him as a person, a man.”
“But I didn’t want him to feel any responsibility toward me. I thought he’d be relieved that he wouldn’t have to face the circumstances.”
Rafe shook his head. “Ah, Lulu, you’re so young, too honest, and very foolish. A man doesn’t want to be judged that way. Lopez men most of all.”
“I want the real deal. And if that’s being too honest, I’m sorry. The man I marry is going to be crazy about me, not because he’s doing what he considers the right thing.”
“What about Will? He was crazy about you.” Rafe’s steady look made Lulu feel very uncomfortable.
“Well, I wasn’t crazy about him,” Lulu said lamely. Her thoughts flew to the memory of her dancing with Miguel. It had felt so right to be in his arms. There was no comparison between the two men.
Rafe’s eyes widened. “Ay, Dio mio! You really care for Miguel.”
Lulu’s sigh was painful. “It doesn’t matter. I’ve ruined every chance I had with him. I could never get him to understand.”
Rafe reached over and squeezed her hand. “It was a shock to Miguel. Let things settle for a while.”
Lulu acknowledged his comment with another sigh. “I guess I have no choice but to wait.” The next few weeks would seem unending. But, she acknowledged to herself, whose fault was that?
###
The dreary months of January and February over, March entered like a lamb, bringing a lighter step to feet and more frequent smiles to the faces of their guests. Though they’d hosted a couple of sweet, small winter weddings, the official wedding season at the Chandler Hill Inn opened with the advent of spring.
One morning, Lulu walked into her office to see a bouquet of pink roses sitting on her desk. An envelope with her name on it lay at the base of the crystal vase. With trembling fingers, she opened it and read writing on the card:
“I’m sorry about everything, Lulu. You and I need to get to know each other better. I’ll begin with the first email. You once promised to answer them. I hope you do. Miguel.”
Lulu slumped in her desk chair and, taking deep breaths, she covered her face. Hope broke through the pain she carried inside her. Maybe they could at least form a friendship.
Miguel’s first email was short, but it was a beginning. It simply said:
“I’m sorry for running out on you because I was so angry. I realized we don’t know each other at all, and I want to know everything about you. I wish there was something I could do for you to make you feel better. As I hope you understand by now, I would have welcomed our baby with more than a sense of responsibility. Family is important to me.”
Touched by his message, she quickly wrote back:
“Thanks. It was good to hear from you. I’m sorry too. Family is important to me, but I haven’t had the best example of one. I’ve seen so many people hurt by making the wrong choices—each of my parents, for instance. And, Miguel, thank you for the roses. It was sweet of you to remember that they’re my favorite. I hope things are going well for you there. Spring has arrived here and, with it, all the activity of new beginnings. ’Bye for now.”
While she waited to hear from him again, Lulu threw herself into keeping busy with marketing, planning merchandising events at The Barn, building catalog sales, and helping with weddings. She knew Miguel would have done the right thing by her, but only because of his upbringing and the nice person he was. A good friend.
When his next email came, she closed the door to her office and took a few moments in the quiet to read it.
“I’m glad to hear from you. In the past, I haven’t had many women I could really talk to about things. I like the idea of us emailing back and forth. It’s a good way to get to know one another. I guess that’s what’s been missing for me in the past. I’ve got lots of guys to hang out with, but no women to talk to like a friend, you know? Sisters are sisters. Anyway, I’ve decided in spite of all the good things about a winery in Chile, I like it best in Oregon. Even though my father wasn’t around much, Uncle Rafe and other relatives gave me a love of winemaking and the Valley. You wrote it was spring there. Are the buds coming out? I’ll write later. I’ve gotta go”
Lulu let out a sigh of happiness. She was so glad Miguel genuinely wanted to stay in communication. It meant so much to her. She sat at her computer and began typing.
“Good to hear from you again so soon.” She told him all about the status of things at the wineries and then described a wedding where the father of the bride had almost refused to give his daughter away. “I swear, he was crying so hard we weren’t sure he could say the words, ‘Her mother and I do’ when the minister asked who was giving the bride away. It was so touching. I think I caught the emotion in the photographs I took. Traveling with my father, being with him, made me see people in a whole new way. In poli
tics, it’s hard to find someone you can trust.”
He quickly wrote back.
“Be careful that your time in politics didn’t make you too jaded. People like the Chandlers are real, and you’re lucky to be a part of that family. Speaking of family, any wedding news from either Cami or Becca? I’ll need to be around when that’s happening. Drew told me he and Cami are planning on a Paris honeymoon. How about you? Are you off to California anytime soon?”
Cami knocked on Lulu’s office door. “Can I get your help? I have some ideas for a marketing campaign on the website to discuss with you.”
“Sure,” said Lulu, her heart still warm from the online conversation she was having with Miguel.
That night, after she was tucked in bed, she answered Miguel’s email.
“It’s so busy at the inn that neither Cami nor Becca have announced wedding plans. I’m not going to California in the foreseeable future. My mother is doing so much better these days. She loves it here at Chandler Hill and thinks that someday she might spend more time here. It’s nice for me to have her here. We weren’t that close when I was growing up. So tell me about your family. I heard they live in California. And tell me what some of your favorite things are. You know two of mine.”
Exchanging emails became a daily thing. For Lulu it was the best ending of any day, telling Miguel everything she’d done that day, answering questions he had for her, and writing down questions for him to answer. She learned he loved his mother’s cooking, hated broccoli, loved a hoppy beer, and was thinking of taking more courses at college so he could prepare for the sales position for all three wineries.
In exchange she told him about her love of photography, that she was learning to cook, and how she cried at the few movies she got to see. She asked about his musical ability and learned he’d inherited it from his father. She learned his mother and sisters lived near one another in a small community outside of San Francisco and had no interest in coming back to Willamette Valley.
