by Danni Roan
For a moment she wondered if she might even stop by the old homestead and see her own family. She knew they wouldn’t welcome her, but she could see them, know they were still there, still alive, if unforgiving.
Blake liked to talk about this free gift his God offered, but she didn’t believe God could accept her if her own parents never would. She had tried visiting her old home once right after taking up with Pierce, but her clothes, jewels and fancy car hadn’t made her welcome once her parents knew the truth.
Pushing the dark thoughts away, Darcy determined to find a way to do more good in the world. Perhaps, if she dedicated her life to helping others then her family would believe she could be redeemed.
She had taken a step in the right direction, how hard could it be to continue on that track?
Chapter 25
It took another week before Blake’s business with the police force was finished, and he was given medical leave to go home.
He still had the little sports car he and Darcy had been using during their adventures, and Beckett saw no reason for him not to keep it for now.
The sun was bright in a clear blue sky as they bounced over the road toward the Broken J, and he paused at the top of the hill gazing out across the fields of verdant green.
“I love this view,” the cowboy said, peering out the window. “You can see the whole spread from up here, and it never ceases to amaze me to gaze at what my family has built, on faith, hope, and love.”
Darcy grinned. “You really are a Turnip,” she laughed. “This place was built with brains, brawn, and blood.”
Blake shook his head then shifted gears and coasted down the rutted road. “Looks like I need to get the skid out and smooth this road again,” he grinned.
Driving slowly toward the ranch and his own home, Blake soaked up the prairie around him, noting the cattle on the far hills and the horses in the corral.
A lazy breeze turned the old windmill as it pumped water into a large trough and a big team of horses moved through a hay field cutting wide swatches of grass for the winter months ahead.
Things never seemed to change on the Broken J, and yet nothing was the same. Blake knew he was a different person, and that his life had taken an unexpected turn. If his leg didn’t heal completely, he already knew he would leave the police force and return to help his father work the ranch.
His family, large, loud, and loving, would take him back without fuss and he looked forward to settling back into a familiar routine. The outside world saw him as heroic, but he was just a boy who wanted to do good.
“Where will I stay?” Darcy asked, plucking at the ribbon on her dress nervously. “Should I stay with Mae and Reese?”
“You’ll stay with us of course,” Blake said. “Ma and Pa are thankful for all you did to help me and to keep me safe.”
“I didn’t do much.”
Blake pulled the car to a stop by the small gate that led to his parent’s home.
“Darcy, you need to stop doing that. You’re a good person, and you did a good thing at great personal expense too.”
Darcy shook her head. She could feel the darkness in her soul. She was flawed. If she had been a good person, she never would have fallen in with a man like Pierce. Now that she was free, she needed to find a way to keep that darkness, that greed at bay.
“I wish you would accept the truth,” Blake said, brushing a finger along her jaw. “All you have to do is accept, and you’re free.”
Darcy pulled away from the handsome man, opening her door and climbing into the dusty yard.
“Can you get my bags?” she asked, slipping through the gap in the fence. “I’m tired, and I think I’d like to lie down for a while.”
“Sure,” Blake replied watching her start up the trail to the house as he got their bags from the trunk.
“Lord, I don’t know what else I can do,” he whispered as he watched Darcy walk away. “I’ve tried to explain it to her, but I must not be doing it right. I know you love her and that you have a new hope for her. Show me what to do. I know I can’t marry a woman who doesn’t know you, but I’m afraid that one, there, already holds my heart.”
Blake paused, watching Darcy move up the path and his heart sagged. He hadn’t meant to fall in love with the beautiful, brave woman who only saw her wrongs. Somehow, it had just happened, and he knew he loved her. Still he couldn’t give in to his longing if Darcy wouldn’t surrender to God. Jesus had paid the price for her sins if only she would believe it.
Tucking one bag under his arm, Blake lifted the other two and slipped through the fence grinning as a group of yearlings charged across the pasture with the exuberance of youth.
Pushing his feelings down deep, he trudged slowly up to his home and placed the suitcases on the stoop where Darcy had stopped to look out across the prairie.
“You know your folks must have been crazy building their house in the middle of a horse pasture, right?”
Blake’s laughter rang out clear in the bright day. “My pa would not agree with you on that issue. He likes being close to his work and being able to see the horses from every window of the house. Someday, I’ll have a place of my own as well and maybe a family. As a kid, I used to wander all around the fields, and my parents could see me from the house.
It gave me a sense of contentment to know that, a security and peace that was part of me as I grew.
Darcy sighed, leaning against a porch rail as the sun cast a warm glow on her skin. For too long she had been kept in the dark, hidden in the shadowy part of the world. She soaked in the warmth and light like a flower seeking the sun, and she knew her heart could be content here, though it wasn’t her place. If only she knew that her heart could be clean, that the light could reach into the darkest corner of her soul and fill it, then she could be free.
Darcy closed her eyes letting the sun wash over her as Blake carried their bags into the house. She longed to be one with the light and as her heart strained toward it truth began to blossom in her soul.
She knew what she would do once her time at the Broken J came to an end. For several moments she stared longingly at the open door Blake had just slipped through. In her heart she wanted to follow him, be with him, love him, but she wasn’t the woman for a man like that. No, in two weeks she would return to Cheyenne and do what she could to repair her battered soul.
Chapter 26
Darcy smoothed the mane on her mount as they came to a stop on a low ridge overlooking the prairie. Blake had eased her into riding a horse and she found she enjoyed it more than she would have believed even days ago.
Today he was riding the long legged horse he had ridden into Cheyenne early that spring, and she smiled knowing that he was comfortable on the beast. Although the gunshot wound to his leg was mending, Blake still had a great deal of pain, though he tried to hide it.
Over the past week and a half she had enjoyed her time with the cowboy, and though he had become a peace officer, Darcy knew that deep down inside Blake Allen was a cowboy who would carry his parent’s legacy into the next generation.
“This has been a wonderful time,” Darcy said, leaning one arm on here saddle horn and holding the reins lightly in a gloved hand. She was dressed in a pair of wide legged trousers, a white blouse, with the sleeves rolled up, and her once white skin was kissed by the sun. In some aspects she was a new woman. She was free from the fear and control of her old life, but deep down she could feel the old Darcy, the girl who wanted more and had done too much to have it.
“It was a good ride,” Blake agreed with a grin. Since coming to home, Blake had shed the sophistication of the city, and the hard-bitten persona he had worn like a mask. “I’m glad you’re here.”
Darcy sighed knowing that Blake was about to start in on why she should stay. She knew by the way he looked at her that the cowboy cared, but she wasn’t right for him, no matter what he felt. He had never said anything about his feelings, keeping his thoughts to himself, and by the constant natt
ering about faith, and redemption, she knew he wanted her to stay for her own good.
“Blake I’m not staying,” Darcy said, her voice soft but firm. “I need to do something useful out there in the real world, something to help put old sins in the past.”
“But Darcy.”
“No, Blake I’ve made up my mind. I have to go. Maybe I’ll see you around sometime, but this is your home not mine.”
Blake hung his head. She was right. He could offer her nothing if she couldn’t accept his faith. Until Darcy was ready to see the truth there was nothing he could do to make her understand.
“When will you leave?”
“Tomorrow, I have a plan, and once I get settled, I’ll let you know how I’m doing. I’ve heard of some work I can do in the city, and with this new, clean and wholesome look, few will recognize me.” Darcy grinned brightly touching the curls that almost reached her collar.
“You look great,” Blake said, automatically. In his eyes Darcy was more beautiful than ever. Her pallor had gone with the kiss of the sun, and she no longer wore rouge or lipstick. She looked natural, healthy, and happy.
“Thanks Turnip,” Darcy laughed wheeling her horse and starting back to the ranch. The longer she stayed on the Broken J, the harder it would be to leave. She wanted nothing more than to give in to her love for Blake, but all that remained unspoken between them was a gulf that neither one of them could traverse.
Blake spurred his horse into a gallop chasing after Darcy with a chuckle, the woman certainly learned fast. These past two weeks had been a wonderful reprieve, and he was grateful for his time with the woman he loved. His heart ached with the longing to tell her how he felt, but his confidence in God’s will held him back.
When the time came, he knew he would have to say good-bye to the girl who had risked it all to help him.
***
“What do you mean she’s gone?” Blake glared at his mother then shot his eyes back to the road once more. “Why didn’t she say good-bye?”
“I don’t know Blake,” Meg said softly taking his hand and placing a large envelope in it. “She gave this to me to give to you and just left.”
Blake felt like shouting. He felt like slamming his fist into something, or racing off after the girl, but slowly, he realized that if he did he would be no better than Pierce. He couldn’t keep Darcy with him and not tell her he loved her, and he couldn’t tell her he loved her until she was free from the burden she carried.
His heart seemed to compress inside him and he found it hard to catch his breath. Without another word he stepped off the front porch and stormed through the pasture headed toward the stream. He needed some place quiet to think and to read the letter, now crumpled in his grasp.
Blake dropped down onto the old log by the stream, jarring his leg and hissing at the pain that shot through him. Still it was nothing compared to the pain in his heart.
Slowly the young man turned the envelope in his hands, afraid to read it and desperate to see what it said at the same time.
Pulling a knife from his pocket he sliced open the seam and pulled out the folded pages. Flipping them open he began to read, hoping that somewhere Darcy would have explained why she hadn’t waited to say good-bye but had simply loaded up the car and gone.
Dear Turnip,
I’m sorry to leave you this way, but I couldn’t face you. I knew you would try to convince me to stay, but I need to work through some things on my own before I can be any kind of a friend to you.
I’m returning to Cheyenne where I’ve heard there are charitable organizations that can always use help. I’ve already applied at one of these charities and have been assured that I am welcome.
Perhaps, in time, I’ll go to visit my own family and try to make amends with them. I don’t know if they will ever accept me, but at least I can let them know that I’m alive, and that I have changed my ways. Perhaps it won’t be enough to gain their love, but I have to try.
Thank you for all you have done for me. I have never had a truer, more selfless friend. I know how hard it has been for you to settle back into your own life again with me there to remind you of what you have lost. Your heart was being a police officer and helping to bring peace and justice to those in need, but now you can become a rancher again.
I’ve seen how you love the Broken J, and how thankful your parents are to have you back with them. You have a big legacy to live up to, and there is no room for someone like me on that path.
I hope you’ll find a nice girl and settle down. Build that place of your own you like to talk about and have a passel of kids like the rest of your cousins. You have a good heart, and I will always love you for how you helped me get away from a life that led only to death.
Thank your family again for me. They were very kind in all things.
Good-bye Blake, live well.
Darcy Stanley.
Blake folded the pages neatly, tucking them back into the envelope as the first tears came. He knew this could happen, and yet he had let himself fall for the girl.
He had been a fool, yet he knew he couldn’t regret their time together. “God, I hope she finds what she is looking for,” Blake sighed lifting a stone and tossing it into the stream. He watched as the ripples spread out from the point of impact and realized that everything we do in this world created a ripple effect.
His time on the police force, though short lived, had touched many lives and hopefully made some difference.
He had petitioned Beckett not only to get Fred Withers out of lock up, but also to bring his parents in to testify against the others they knew who had broken the law. That family had gotten a second chance.
Then there were those who had been in danger because of the willful lawlessness of the Branson gang.
Pushing himself to his feet Blake made his way home. There was always work to be done on the ranch, and his father would be glad for his company. He had to let Darcy go, set her free and pray that somehow she would find her way back to him. Only God knew what the future held for the both of them.
Chapter 27
“Bar, where do you want me to put this new bedding,” Darcy asked, wiping her brow with the back of her arm. Though it was cold outside, the mission was warm and the hard work of doing the ironing had Darcy sweating.
“Put them in the cupboard in the storage room,” Barrister said with a grin. Darcy had been a godsend to him and Mary, making life better for them and the men they helped to serve. They had been more than willing to take her in for her offer of work.
Darcy turned carrying the precarious stack of sheets under her chin and smiled as the door to the sleeping area opened again. “I’ll be right with you,” she called as a grubby looking man shuffled into the room.
“Thanks,” a gruff voice croaked as the man stepped back against the door, looking around him as if seeking something.
Darcy quickly made her way to the storage room, placed the freshly laundered sheets into the press, smoothed her skirt and headed back out into the main room. At this time of year the place was busy with many lost men, seemed to need a place to get out of the cold. “Can I help you?” she asked, walking to the newcomer.
“Miss Darcy?” Dark eyes grew wide as the man with the familiar lumpy face stared at her. “Is that really you?”
“Jim? What on earth are you doing here?”
“I ain’t got no work, and with the law watching everywhere I needed some place to go. Why’d you do it Darcy? Why’d you turn on Pierce? We had a good thing going back then.”
Darcy reached out placing a hand on Jim’s arm. His coat was torn and dirty and he looked much the worse for wear. Pulling the man with her Darcy walked to a dark corner of the room where a cot had been neatly made up and urged him to sit.
“He tried to have me killed Jim,” Darcy finally said, her voice just above a whisper. “It was wrong what we were doing, and innocent people were getting hurt.”
Jim sank down on to the cot, dropping his head in his
hands. “I don’t know what to do no more Darcy. I only ever did what Pierce told me. Now I can’t get no work, and there ain’t anyone to go to for help.”
Darcy squatted before the man she had once called friend. “You came to the right place,” she smiled. “There’s help here if you’ll take it. Bar and Mary don’t ask questions, but they do have answers. You stay here Jim, and I’ll get you a better coat and a change of clothes, then we’ll talk.”
