by Erin Noelle
My eyes shot open at his comment about making sure I felt good, and images of the previous night’s dream flashed in my mind. “I can’t miss, Mase. You know that.”
He continued kissing and nibbling on my neck and shoulders, and he slowly began sliding the towel down my body until I was standing naked in front of him.
“Please, angel, we only have two weeks before I leave, and I want to spend every possible moment together.” His hands reached around to the front of me, each cupping a breast and stroking my nipples with his thumbs. Unable to resist the pleasure he was offering, I whimpered and arched my back, pressing my chest farther into his grasp and lifting my ass up against his evident erection.
“Move in with me,” he whispered in between his tantalizing kisses.
At first, I wasn’t sure if I heard him correctly. I twisted my body around so I could look him in the face. “What did you say?” I asked.
Wrapping his arms around my waist, he leaned into me and rested his forehead on mine, his gray eyes cloudy with hunger, “Move into my apartment here. We can be together for the next couple weeks, and then once I move, I’ll still stay in Houston once or twice a week, and you’ll be there. Plus, you won’t need to pay for this place anymore. I’m keeping my place no matter what. It just makes sense.”
“I don’t know, Mase. Are you sure?” I was torn between excitement and disappointment. At first, I thought he was asking me to move to Austin with him, which I would’ve done in a heartbeat, but he obviously wasn’t ready for that level of commitment. Still, the idea he wanted me to live in his place locally thrilled me.
“Yes, I’m sure. I would sleep better at night knowing you were there in my bed… in our bed.”
He slid his hands up my back and grabbed the back of my neck, threading his fingers in my hair. Not breaking our stare, he possessively placed his lips on mine, claiming me as his. My head was spinning with what-ifs and what-abouts, but between the look in his eye and the passion in his kiss, the decision was made for me.
“Okay,” I whispered into his mouth.
He pulled away from my mouth and looked at me disbelievingly. “Really?”
Pulling my bottom lip in between my teeth, I nodded timidly, concerned that maybe he hadn’t been serious about the offer. However, my fears were erased quickly when he returned his mouth to mine with fervor and his hands began roaming up and down my back.
“Do you have any idea how fucking hot you are like this, angel?” he asked as our mouths broke apart.
I looked down, realizing I was standing there naked, clinging to his fully clothed body. Slightly embarrassed, I moved back to my dresser for another attempt to grab my clothes.
“No, I’m not, and I need to get ready for class. I’m going to be so late because of you,” I playfully scolded him.
Somehow, between his pawing at me and kissing all over my body, I managed to get dressed in my usual school attire—an old concert T-shirt, jeans, and flip-flops. I grabbed a granola bar and an energy drink for each of us from the kitchen as we made our way to the front door. I walked Mason over to his motorcycle before heading off to campus. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to bring up the me living at his place thing or wait for him to mention it, so I just hugged and kissed him bye like I normally did.
“I’ll see you tonight at the bar after I meet Max,” I said, confirming the day’s plans before walking away.
“Yeah, I’m gonna get some sleep, work out, and then I’ll head up there around six. When do you want to get your stuff?” He grabbed my belt loops and yanked me back to him, kissing my forehead. “This weekend, we can hire movers to move your furniture and whatever else you don’t want to a storage unit. If you want to start bringing some of your clothes tonight, we can get the rest over the next couple days.”
The way he said we made my stomach somersault, and the reality that I was actually moving into his apartment began setting in.
“That sounds good,” I said, trying not to sound overly excited as I turned to walk away. “I’ll see you tonight then. Love you.”
“I love you too, babe.” He called after me, and I stopped dead in my tracks. I could hear him laughing. “Am I ever going to get to call you ‘babe’?” I smiled to myself, shook my head, and kept walking.
After my classes, I headed to the library to do research for an upcoming paper I needed to work on. Just as I was walking through the large glass doors, Mina was walking out, and we nearly collided with one another.
“Scarlett, I’m so glad I saw you,” she said, giving me a big hug. “I was just about to call you with the rehearsal dinner info, in case I forgot tonight.”
Confused, I asked, “The rehearsal dinner? I thought the rehearsal dinner was just for people in the wedding?”
“Well, it is, but… You haven’t talked to Max, have you?”
“No, I’m actually meeting him tonight for our weekly chocolate indulgence before heading up to Empty’s,” I explained. “Why? What’s up?”
“I think he’s going to ask you to be his guest at the dinner. He didn’t know if Rat would be in town for the wedding, and he figured Rat wouldn’t care if y’all came together. Ya know, because he hasn’t as much as talked to another female since…” Her voice faded, unsure of the right words to say as she looked at the ground. I wondered if talking about Evie’s death would ever get easier for any of us.
Breaking the awkward silence, I said, “I’ll see if he says something tonight. If not, I won’t say anything, but I’ll definitely come with him if he asks. Mase won’t mind at all. He knows I’ll do anything for Max and for you.” I grabbed her hand and squeezed tightly. She smiled at me and hugged me quickly once more.
“You’re awesome, Scarlett. I’ll see you later.”
“Sounds good. See you tonight.”
An hour later, my head was spinning with an overload of information on the string theory. There were particle spectrums and theories of quantum gravity and super-symmetry partners and a bunch of other shit that didn’t make any sense to me. I wondered who in the world I could get to tutor me for this, and immediately I thought of Ash. He loved theoretical physics and used to make me watch an endless number of coma-inducing shows on the Science channel, claiming how incredibly interesting they were. I didn’t get it then, and time hadn’t helped any, because it still read like a foreign language to me. However, calling Ash wasn’t a viable option. Forgiven or not, we weren’t going to be study partners or anything else for that matter. He was now just a part of my past.
Later that afternoon, I called my mom to let her know about my move. My relationship with my parents continued to improve; however, it was still fragile. They didn’t trust my ability to make mature decisions, and the only thing I could do to remedy the situation was to prove them wrong. I knew they wouldn’t understand or approve of me moving into Mason’s apartment. They had never met Mason, and I had only mentioned him to them a few times, so dropping the “hey, we’re moving in together… sorta” wasn’t going to sit well. I didn’t want to lie to her, so I opted for the limited, vague information route and hoped a lot of questions wouldn’t follow. Luckily, she accepted the story that I had a friend who had prepaid for an apartment through the school year that had to move suddenly, so I was asked to stay there and housesit.
After hanging up with her, I began folding my clothes and packing up bags. I couldn’t believe I was actually moving into Mason’s apartment. Squee! I plugged my iPod in and danced around my room, singing “Better Together” along with Jack Johnson as I continued to organize my things. Before I knew it, I looked at the clock and saw it was time to meet Max.
After I loaded what I could of my clothes and necessities into my car, I wondered when or how I should tell Tessa about my moving out. The girl was seriously never at our place, so other than the money part of it, I couldn’t see that she would care much. I left her a note to call me and locked the door. I had spent my last night in that apartment.
Max was waiting for
me at what had become “our” table at The Chocolate Bar. He already had my gluttonous treat and vanilla latte sitting in front of my chair when I arrived.
“Hey, sweetheart, how was your day?” He stood up to hug and kiss me on the cheek when I reached the table. He had a smile on his face and a sparkle in his eye that I had only seen once or twice in the last couple months.
I arched my eyebrow at him. “Really? Sweetheart? If you’re going to break my nickname rule, at least come up with something original,” I teased. “And please, nothing with wings.”
He tossed his head back, laughing. “Damn, if you didn’t like ‘sweetheart,’ I was going with ‘flamingo.’”
“Flamingo?” I screeched. “Why in the world would you call me flamingo? That’s hideous!”
He was laughing so hard he could barely talk. “Because you have skinny legs and you’re always wearing pink.”
I looked down at my shirt, and sure enough, it was pink. Damn him!
I was more excited than usual for our talk, because so much happened that I needed to tell him about. Max was definitely the closest friend I had; he knew practically everything about me, and what he didn’t know was just because we hadn’t covered that subject yet. I found it so easy to talk to him, and even though I knew how great of a guy he was when he and Evie were together, I had really come to understand why Evie had fallen in love with him so quickly.
Once we were settled and ready to overindulge in empty calories and self-gossip, I blurted out, “I saw Ash. I forgave him.”
Max cocked his head and smirked. “Not what I was expecting from you today, but go ahead… spill. Where? When? How? What happened?”
I proceeded to relive the previous day’s events to him from the butterfly landing on my leg to the time Ash left the music store. I told him about how I felt relieved but how I couldn’t stop thinking about all the good times we had shared.
“Do you believe in soul mates?” he asked, interrupting my rambling. I sat silent for a few minutes as I pondered his question.
“I’m not really sure,” I began. “I have a lot of contradictory thoughts and feelings about it. I believe that some people, for whatever reason, have an immediate attraction or connection with another person that’s physical, mental, and emotional, even though they don’t know each other… like on a different level. But I also don’t think God would be so cruel to just make only one person on this planet who makes you feel like that. What are the odds that everyone is going to run into their soul mate during their lifetime? Would he really want so many people to not have the opportunity to experience that kind of love? Maybe you have more than one soul mate. I don’t know.” My voice trailed off. I looked into his pain-filled blue eyes and my heart broke for him.
“I know people thought Evie and I were crazy with how fast things moved between the two of us,” he spoke softly, looking down at his fidgeting hands on the table. “They thought we were young and just caught up in the passion and all that, but it was so much more. It was like, the moment we met, we had known each other forever. She really was my other half. I don’t even know how to explain it, but I knew immediately.” He looked back up with tears threatening.
“I can only hope your theory is right,” he continued. “I hope there is someone else who can make me feel the way she did, but I highly doubt it. I’m afraid I will never feel that way again.”
“Don’t say that, Max. You still have so much living to do; you don’t know who you’re going to meet or what’s going to happen.”
“I’m not saying I will never fall in love again. I believe you can love multiple people in your lifetime… even at the same time.” He cocked his eyebrow at me knowingly. “But I think you have only one soul mate.” He reached his hands across the table and grabbed mine. “You said something today that made me realize something very important. There are thousands of people, millions even, who never get the chance to meet their soul mate and experience the indescribable feelings of completeness and bliss that I did, even if it was for a short time. I’ve been too busy focusing on the time I don’t get to spend with her rather than appreciating the time I did have.” He smiled slightly.
“She would want you to move on, Max,” I said nervously, unsure of how he would react to my words. “She would want you to love again.”
“I know. I just feel guilty. I feel like I’m cheating on her if I even think of another girl like that,” he explained. “It is so overwhelming I don’t even bother. I’ve been on one date since she died, Scarlett, and it was awful. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I refused to touch her, kiss her… nothing. I couldn’t.”
“There’s no timetable, ya know? It’s okay to still feel like that, but just know one day you will be ready to love again. And when that day comes, don’t be scared. Don’t hold back. You deserve to be happy.” I squeezed his hand supportively.
“Do you think Ash is your soul mate?”
The question caught me completely off-guard, and I just stared at him helplessly. The look in my eye and failure to respond answered what we both probably already knew.
“So why are you with Mason?” he continued to prod.
“Because he’s good to me and loves me, and I love him. Since the day we met, he’s been there for me, and the day I came back, he welcomed me without reservation. I’m happy when I’m with him—he makes me smile and laugh and think everything is going to be okay. He makes me feel like I’m the most important thing in the world… that nothing comes before me. No matter what I feel for Ash, I can’t forget he never made me first. Your soul mate shouldn’t be your dirty little secret. I didn’t deserve to be treated like that.”
“You deserve to be treated like the incredibly beautiful person you are, Scarlett. Always.”
“I think I will be.” Grinning, I told Max my other piece of news. “Mason asked me to move into his apartment here in Houston, and I said yes. I’m actually moving in tonight.”
Max smiled back at me. “I’m happy with whatever makes you happy, sweetheart. Now finish up your coffee so we can get you to your new place.”
Mason
The two weeks Scarlett and I had together at my apartment before I left, I spent showing her how great things would be if we lived together permanently. Despite her protests, every morning when she showered and dressed for school, I made her coffee and breakfast. I offered to take her and pick her up from school each day, but she usually declined, saying it wasn’t necessary. On nights we didn’t go to the bar, we would spend the evening cooking dinner together and watching movies. I never before thought about living with anyone. Shit, I had never wanted any girl to even come to my apartment. I used the bed at the bar for that, but it was different with Scarlett. In just a few months, she had me playing house like I was Mr. Fucking Responsibility… and the kicker was I wanted to.
I assumed the guys would give me hell about always being up her ass and not hanging out with them other than when we were practicing, but they stayed pretty quiet. I think they all got it; plus, they were excited about the move and living in Austin. They also didn’t mind that when I was with Scarlett, I didn’t stay out all night getting fucked up and drag my ass to practice the next day feeling like shit. She grounded me, made me focus, and inspired me to be a better person for her.
So our living together in Houston was like a trial run; if it went well, hopefully she would be open to moving to Austin. I decided I was going to go there on the first of the month and get settled in the apartment. Once I figured out my routine with rehearsals and shows and shit, I was going to ask her to move there and go to school at UT. It wasn’t Rice, but it was still a respectable school. I felt much better knowing that until then, she would be living in my apartment… surrounded by my things… sleeping in my bed—our bed.
In the blink of a fucking eye, it was the day before I was supposed to leave, and I thought I was going to be sick to my stomach. We planned on spending the day at the house just relaxing and hanging out together, b
ut the weight of the pending goodbye hung heavy in the air. We were tiptoeing around each other, neither of us wanting to actually talk about it. Even though we both knew the day was coming, we had done a pretty good job of not thinking about it until then.
After breakfast, we sat side by side on the couch, staring at the TV, but neither of us paid attention to what was on. The thoughts were running so rapidly through our minds I’m sure a bystander could have heard the brain activity just by being in the room. I repositioned myself and reached my arm down to touch her leg, and she jumped nearly two feet in the air. Realizing what she had done, she looked up into my eyes, and I could see the worry on her face.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pull away,” she apologized sincerely. “I’m just…”
I stood up abruptly and said, “Get dressed and throw on some shoes. Let’s get out of here.”
“What? Where are we going?”
Reaching down and grabbing her hands, I yanked her up off the couch and up against my body. I wrapped my arms around her waist and leaned down to capture her soft lips with mine. God, I was really going to miss feeling her sexy-ass body next to me every day.
“I’m not sure, but it’s a beautiful day outside, and we need some fresh air. So, go get ready.” I playfully spanked her ass as she turned around for the bedroom, and I sauntered after her to get dressed myself.
Fifteen minutes later, she was snugly pressed against my back, arms locked around my waist, and we were heading south on the interstate. We ended up down in Galveston, where we had lunch overlooking the water and walking around the shops at The Strand. I couldn’t stop looking at her or touching her; it was as if I needed to fill up on her to get me through until the next time I saw her.
At sunset, we got back on the bike and headed back toward the city. I wasn’t ready to return to the apartment. I didn’t want to go to sleep. I didn’t want to wake up the next day. I just wasn’t ready to leave her quite yet. Unfortunately, what I wanted and was ready for, and what was happening in reality just didn’t match up in this fucked up situation.
