by Erin Noelle
I shrugged my shoulders. “Okay, I guess. I’m kinda in shock I think.”
“Well, you need to get your thoughts together before we get home, because Ash is gonna want some answers.”
“Answers about what?” I asked. My head felt like it was going to explode.
“About you and him, about you and Rat, about where you all stand… I’m sure he’s just as confused as you are, sweetheart. One minute, y’all are singing love songs to each other, making goo-goo eyes, and kissing; the next, Rat’s singing ‘I Love You’ to you and you’re chasing him outside.” He stopped and smiled slightly. “Then we return, I have a bloody face, and you have smoke coming out of your ears. I kinda feel bad for the guy.”
Despite feeling completely emotionally overwhelmed, I couldn’t help but giggle at his simplified version of the previous ninety minutes. It was rather crazy.
“Oh, God, Max, what have I done? I’m so sorry I made you a part of all of this. I’m sorry I ruined your friendship with Mason.”
“I said I’m fine, Scarlett. Really. I’ll be okay. How are you feeling about each of them?”
I hesitated before answering as I gathered my thoughts. “I loved Mason. I mean, I still love him; you don’t just turn off feelings like that. But way too much has happened for us to ever reconcile. I honestly doubt I will ever see him again, especially since he’s leaving to go on tour soon. And Ash… well, you know how I’ve always felt. Being around him this last week just reminded me of why I used to feel the way I did. It was easy to not deal with my feelings for him when I didn’t have to see him. And after that kiss… that was just… I don’t even know how to put it into words. Being with him feels so natural, so right, but I think I need some time to myself. I mean, how would that look going from one relationship right into another?”
“I do think you need some time to yourself, but just let it play out however it feels right. Again, stop worrying about what other people think so much. It’s not like you and Ash just met and you’re jumping into something new. You both acknowledged there was a connection between y’all from the very beginning, and I know you both loved each other. It may not have been a physical relationship, but you were both emotionally and mentally dependent on one another. Y’all’s relationship was severed without warning; it’s not like you stopped loving one another. You both just got better at hiding it.”
I thought about what he said as we pulled into the parking lot. “You’re right on all accounts. I’m just scared of getting hurt. I don’t know if I can go through it again. Between Ash the first time and everything that has happened with Mason, I’m afraid I’m predestined for heartache.”
“Fate will find a way, sweetheart. Our happily ever afters are coming.” He turned off the car and smiled one of his precious Maxi smiles I loved so much.
“I like that. Fate will find a way.” I leaned across the seat and gave him a peck on the cheek. “Thank you, Maxi. You’re the best. I owe you my sanity… and my entire next paycheck,” I said in an attempt to lighten the somber mood.
We both chuckled as we got out of the car and waited for Ash to join us. I watched him as he crossed the pavement, and a calmness settled over me. He looked so different in the dress clothes compared to his usual shorts and T-shirts or hoodies. I couldn’t help but stare at the tattoo on his forearm, peeking out from his rolled-up sleeves. The names Eros and Psyche stared back at me, reminding me of what all they had to go through to be together. But in the end, fate found its way and they were rewarded with her immortal love. I sighed aloud as I wondered what fate had in store for me.
After we got in the apartment, Max went straight to the shower to get cleaned up and told us he was going to bed afterward. Ash followed me back to my room and sat down on the bed. I sat down next to him and laid my head on his shoulder.
“It was awful. Absolutely awful,” I said just barely above a whisper.
He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me snug up against his side. “Whenever you’re ready to talk about it. No rush. I know it’s been a crazy day for you.”
“No, I want to get it out while it’s fresh in my head. I know my emotions are really raw, but after what happened between us tonight, I think we need to talk about it,” I replied as I relaxed a bit next to him.
I knew I needed to be as honest as I could, so I recapped the conversation for him as best as I could remember it. Unfortunately, it didn’t get any easier stomaching some of the words Mason and I exchanged the second time around. When I finished the recap, Ash asked me how I was feeling at that exact moment.
“Confused,” I replied. That was the best word I could think of to describe the multitude of thoughts and feelings bouncing around in my head.
“That’s to be expected, Scarlett. It’s gonna take some time to process it all. I’m sorry I kissed you tonight.”
I pulled away from him and looked at him questioningly. “Why do you say that?” No girl ever wants a guy to apologize for kissing her.
“Because if I’d known you were going to deal with all this other stuff, I wouldn’t have complicated things for you. You know how I feel about you, Scarlett; I told you that day in the music shop, but I don’t ever want to cause you additional stress or cause more problems. I know now is not the right time for this… for the possibility of an us… but tonight, I just couldn’t help myself,” he said as he ran his fingers through his long blond hair, clearly frustrated.
“It’s okay, Ash. You didn’t know he was gonna show up,” I responded as I put my hand on his arm, hoping to comfort him. “And I was standing up there… I felt it too. I always feel it when I’m around you. Always have.”
He turned to face me as we both sat on the bed still in our dress clothes, and he cocked his head slightly. “Really? You really feel it?”
The way his blue eyes bore into mine, I felt like he was looking into my soul. Instantly, all other thoughts and memories of the night vanished from my head, and the only thing I could concentrate on was sitting right next to me. I pulled my bottom lip in between my teeth and nodded. He glanced down at his arm and I followed suit. My hand I put on his arm to soothe him was rubbing the Eros and Psyche butterfly tattoo on his forearm. We both looked back up at one another and surrendered ourselves to the moment. I couldn’t have resisted if I wanted to.
He closed the small gap between our faces and brushed his lips lightly across mine before pulling back slightly to gauge my response. Closing my eyes, I leaned toward him and was quickly met with his mouth on mine. This time, his kiss was much firmer—demanding and almost desperate. His tongue teased my lower lip, tracing it, and then nibbling ever so slightly. Moaning, I parted my lips, allowing him entrance to my mouth. Our tongues tangled together as we lost ourselves in a kiss for the second time that day.
Ash
Kissing Scarlett at the wedding was wonderful… amazing even; however, when our lips touched as we sat there on her bed, the voice in my head screamed so loudly the reverberations could be felt in the farthest tips of my toes. I had known from the moment I laid eyes on her that she was my future… my forever… my happily ever after. Unfortunately, we both needed to conquer some personal issues before it could be right for us to be together.
Now that I had finally dealt with the demon that was my father and his influence, I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders and was ready to give myself to her… completely and whole-heartedly. I knew it had only been a week since the Mason bombshell had been dropped on her, but from listening to her explain how things had been the previous month, it seemed they’d been drifting apart with the physical distance between them.
Feeling her skin on my skin, her lips on my lips, I was aroused instantly. I knew we were a long way from that, if ever, but fuck if I couldn’t help myself. I had waited so long to have her next to me, to touch her again, that at first contact I was hard. Reluctantly, I ended the kiss, knowing if I didn’t do it quickly, I may not be able to control my actions. Even after I pulled back from her a
bit, she kept her eyes closed, and I caressed her face ever-so-lightly. The whimper I heard her try to hide nearly sent me over the edge, but not wanting to ruin what we were slowly rebuilding before it ever had a chance, I backed up a little more.
“Butterfly, let’s shower and get you ready for bed. It’s been a long day.”
She opened her eyes, and I could see the desire looming in her warm caramel-colored eyes. Even though I knew we couldn’t do anything about it right then, knowing she felt it too sent me over the moon.
“Will you stay here with me tonight?” she whispered. “Sleep with me like we used to do?”
Like there was any chance I was gonna say no to her for anything, especially not that. It was gonna be a huge fucking test of self-control, but I was up for the challenge. “Of course. Whatever you need or want. I’m yours.”
After we both showered and I borrowed some clothes from Max, we lay down in bed and she snuggled up next to my body like we hadn’t been separated over the previous twelve months. I slung my arm around her waist and pulled her closer to me. Without trying to seem too much like a weirdo, I sniffed her hair, remembering the fruity concoctions she always smelled like. I smiled to myself as I settled onto the pillow, and within minutes I was off in dreamland.
Twenty-One
Love
Madness—Muse
I’m Yours—Jason Mraz
Scarlett
Waking up covered in all things Ash took me straight back to the numerous nights I spent in his bed the year before—his arms holding me securely against his body, his legs tangled in mine, his masculine scent filling my nostrils, his morning erection pressing into my back. I closed my eyes, trying to clear my mind and ignore the desire spreading throughout my body. I knew I was both emotionally and physically needy from not just the last week, but the last month I had been by myself; however, that didn’t stop the memory of our kiss from just a few hours prior from flooding my mind.
Without even realizing what I was doing, I arched my back ever so slightly, pushing my ass up against his hard cock. He groaned in his sleep and tightened his hold on me. Oh, God. I lay there for a few minutes as my id, ego, and superego battled one another on my next move. In that moment, my id was feeling awfully dominate, and it kept chanting to me the advice that Evie had given me so many times: Fuck it and just live. So I did.
I reached back behind me, slid my hand between our bodies, and gently grabbed his cock. Slowly, I began to stroke him on the outside of his boxers. It didn’t take him long to stir to life as he unconsciously pressed himself into my hand. Strengthening the grip I had on him, as I continued the up and down motion with my hand, I turned my head to where I could see his face. His eyes were still closed but he was smiling. Wanting to give him the best wakeup call I possibly could, I twisted my body to where I was facing him and began to quietly shimmy down under the covers.
Trying not to wake him yet, I managed to slip his erection out of his boxers. My heart was pounding out of my chest; I had fantasized what it would be like to be with Ash every night I had slept in his bed from the day I met him. I didn’t allow myself a chance to second guess what I was about to do, I just went with what I was feeling. I wrapped my hand around the base of his cock, and he jumped slightly at the unexpected touch. I waited a moment as he relaxed his body, and then I began to slide my hand up and down his bare shaft. After wetting my lips with my tongue, I ever-so-lightly touched it to his head and began swirling it around the tip, increasing the pressure slowly. Continuing the stroking with my hand, I parted my lips and wrapped them snugly around his rock-hard cock.
I wasn’t really sure at what point he was fully awake and aware of what was going on, but as I slid my mouth down his length, he moved his hands, threading his fingers in my hair. Any fear or hesitation I had that he would tell me what I was doing wasn’t a good idea was erased. Matching the same rhythm as my hand, I began moving my lips over his dick while running my tongue along the underneath.
“Scarlett,” he moaned as he tightened his hold on my hair.
Hearing him say my name and knowing what I was doing to him drove me crazy. I could feel the butterflies come alive not only in my stomach but deep in my core as well. Fueled by a yearning over a year old, I devoured his cock, sliding it in and out of my mouth, sucking hard on the tip, and then burying it deep into my throat.
“Scarlett, oh my God, that’s incredible,” he said in between breaths. “Come here.”
He tugged my hair in an upward motion, and I pulled my mouth off his shaft, making a popping noise as the suction released him. I moved back up his body until we were face-to-face. We both just lay there for a moment lost in each other’s eyes, looking deep into the other’s soul, knowing that once the line was crossed, our destiny would be fulfilled. Fate had determined this was inevitable long before I knew who Ash Walker was.
No words were necessary, and none were said. I knew exactly what he was thinking, just as he did me. Our mouths collided feverously, craving one another’s taste, and our hands began a frenzied exploration of each other’s body as we ripped away the clothes separating us. Within minutes, we were both stripped free of the barriers, both physically and mentally, that kept us apart.
He pulled me onto his lap so I was straddling him. His eyes roamed over my body, and instead of feeling any apprehension, I was completely comfortable as he took me in.
“Butterfly, you are the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my eyes on,” he said as he reached out with one hand and stroked my cheek.
I leaned forward and brushed my lips across his as I ran my hands over his chest. As I sat back up, he grabbed both my wrists and swung my arms around to my back, holding them there with one hand. He used his free hand to rub over my breasts and to pull on each nipple. I arched my back into his touch and felt his cock twitch under me, and reactively I wiggled my throbbing pussy to where he was positioned directly against my clit.
“Ash, oh please…” I moaned.
He grabbed me and quickly flipped us to where I was flat on my back and he was hovering over me. He began kissing my neck and nibbling on my earlobe as his hand traveled down my stomach until it found my hot, wet center.
“Ah fuck, Scarlett, you’re drenched. I want to feel you so bad,” he admitted.
“I want you inside of me, love,” I replied, drunk with desire and passion.
His fingers slid between my slick folds and he began massaging my sex, building the needy ache deep inside me. My body was starving for his, my soul desperate to make that connection to him.
“Please,” I begged. “I need you.”
Hearing the intensity of my plea, he lifted his body and lined it up with mine. His eyes fixed on mine, and there was nothing else in the world that mattered in that moment than him and me and our need for each other. He plunged deep inside me with the first stroke, and I screamed out. He pulled back until he was almost completely out of me, but right before that, he slammed inside me again. And again. And again. It didn’t take either of us long to reach our breaking point; we had both thought about this moment for way too fucking long.
“Ash, I’m gonna come,” I somehow managed to say—at least I think I did.
Close to his own orgasm, he did not let up, pumping in and out of me, until we were both ready to jump together. As I felt the explosion begin to erupt deep inside me, I held onto him tightly, clenching my pussy around his cock until I felt him join me in the freefall and collapse around me.
I don’t know how long we stayed just like that. Our exhausted, sweaty bodies pressed against each other and our breaths in sync. I would love to say our first time together was tender and gentle and caring and sensitive, but it was a far, far cry from any of those. The only thing that mattered was that it was perfect.
Earth-shattering, life-altering, soul-fusing perfect.
Ash
Waking up to Scarlett’s mouth on my cock was the best surprise… ever. I had wanted so badly the night before to further tha
t kiss, but I was afraid it wasn’t the right time. It was too soon. Despite our history together and the connection we always shared, the truth was she had only been broken up with Rat for a week or so, and the argument they had left her emotionally vulnerable. I wanted her as mine more than anything in the world, but I had faith it would happen in due time. She would always be my Psyche. However, I also knew it was important for her to find her own strength, to learn she could fly with her own wings. She didn’t need to be my butterfly or his angel or anyone’s anything to love herself and find true happiness.
All that being said, there was no way in hell I was going to stop her once I woke up and realized what she was doing. I had fantasized about being with her so many times; it was truly a dream come true. When I pulled her up to my face and looked into her eyes, it was in that moment I knew she realized that us being together was inescapable… unavoidable… predetermined. She owned me—body, mind, and soul.
I wanted so badly to make sweet love to her the first time we were together, but once I touched her, I couldn’t control myself. She was so fucking beautiful, and I waited so long to have her. I almost came immediately when I first thrusted inside her sweet, tight pussy. Calling it heavenly wasn’t even doing it justice. It was completely indescribable and more powerful than anything I ever experienced.
As we lay there afterward, struggling to catch our breath and to wrap our heads around what just happened, I couldn’t help but ask her, “Did you call me ‘love’?”
She giggled and shook her head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Laughing at her stubbornness, I teased, “I think you know exactly what I’m talking about. You called me a nickname… ‘love’ of all things too.”
“You’re delusional. I think the hormones racing through your body must’ve affected your hearing,” she attempted to say with a straight face.
