“You are more dense than I ever believed. You care about her. A lot. Why can’t you admit that?”
Zach knew his friend was right but he wasn’t ready to go down that road. Admitting his growing feelings for the surprise aunt would force him to face that she was a better guardian. That she knew the kids better than he did, that he was a failure. He’d tried for months to be the man they needed. Sophie had breezed in and made them all a family with her smile and her caring heart and her understanding of what the kids were going through.
He was in no way equipped to maintain the family on his own.
Hank spoke softly, his wise words falling over Zach like a friendly touch.
“You have to forgive yourself. The Lord may forgive us and forget, but He lets us remember so we can be reminded of our mistakes and avoid them in the future and maybe help someone else down the road. You’re a great parent, Zach, and you’ll be a great husband one day. Don’t run away from love because you’re afraid you’ll fail. You didn’t fail Maddie and Dean. You won’t fail the kids either.”
* * *
Zach set his flight bag on the floor and made a beeline to the coffeepot.
Sophie glanced up from the breakfast table. “Are you flying today?”
Zach joined her, lifting a sugar donut from the plate. His favorite. Sophie was a very observant woman. She’d picked up on his taste for donuts and had started surprising him with them once a week. It was amazing how she had figured him out without any questions or pestering. He liked that.
“Yes. I have to fly to Phoenix but I should be back by early evening. What do you have on tap for today?” He tried to make his tone light and casual, but he and Sophie had hardly spoken since she’d learned of his part in the accident. It had been the longest two days of his life.
Sophie wiped the counter, keeping her back to him. “We’re finalizing the plans for the grand opening next week. I’m working on the ad campaign for the Blessing Bugle. DJ is going to help me with hanging a few pictures and shelves.”
A warm rush entered Zach’s chest. “He’s turning into a fine young man.”
“Yes, he is.” She turned to face him. “He looks up to you, you know. Working on the closet has given him a new outlook.”
He nodded, holding her gaze. “Thanks to you. You were right all along about the project being good for the kids. I didn’t see it but you did.”
She looked away.
Linney came over and leaned against his side and he slipped his arm around her. “Are you leaving again?”
“Only for a short time. I’ll be home around suppertime.”
Linney gave him a pitiful look. “Do you have to go?”
He tapped her nose with his finger. “Yes. It’s my job, remember? We talked about this.”
“I know. You’ll be careful, won’t you?”
“I pr—” He glanced at Sophie. “Of course I will. I’m always careful.” He kissed the little girl’s forehead. “Are you going to help your aunt today?”
A big smile replaced her worried frown. “We’re planning a big party for the store. Everyone will be there. It’s going to be awesome.”
He had no doubt. Anything Sophie organized would be amazing.
Katie and DJ drifted into the kitchen as Zach finished his morning coffee. “DJ, would you finish attaching the cabinet pulls in the storeroom? You can use my drill if you’d like.”
“Yes, sir. I can handle it.”
“I’d better get going. Y’all have a good day at the store. I’ll check it out when I get back.”
Sophie followed him to the back door. “Thank you for not promising Linney you’d be careful. I know it might seem like a picky point to you, but keeping a promise is a serious thing to a child.”
“I remember.”
A smile brightened her delicate features and put a sparkle in her eyes. For a moment he allowed himself to think the light was because of him. Because she cared. A little. “Be safe, Zach. We want you back.”
“I want to come back. That’s the best incentive of all.”
Her smile widened, filling him with a buoyancy he’d not known since he was a kid. It lingered on the drive to the airfield and kept his spirits floating when he took off for the return flight late that afternoon. He was anxious to see Sophie and the kids. He couldn’t remember a time when he’d been looking forward to going home as much as he did today. Normally he was itching to get away, back in the cockpit and out of the dull domesticity that had always choked him.
Twenty miles out from the county airfield, he encountered bad weather. Maintaining control of his aircraft took his full concentration and a few fervent prayers. He might not have literally promised his family he’d return, but he wasn’t about to mess up.
The storm was in full force as he hurried to his car. He could have waited it out, but the need to see Sophie and the kids was too strong.
He was approaching the city limit sign when his tire blew, jerking the car to the right and down into the ditch. The airbag deployed, slamming against him with surprising force. His head erupted in pain, then darkness. His last thought was that he had to get home.
Chapter Eleven
Sophie glanced out the office window of the closet at the steady rain predicted to last through the evening, trying not to think about Zach navigating his plane through the bad weather. He was a grown-up and by his own admission an excellent pilot.
Despite her determination to dismiss Zach from her mind, her concern grew steadily through supper and early evening when he failed to arrive home. He’d been certain he’d be back around mealtime. Fortunately, the children had been so busy they hadn’t asked about him. However, she noticed that Linney was starting to get edgy. She was looking toward the door every few minutes.
Sophie sent up a prayer that Zach would arrive soon, and that he was all right. She may be furious at him but she didn’t want anything to happen to him either.
When the children settled in to watch a movie later that evening, Sophie sought some quiet time on the front porch swing. The movements soothed her anxious mood. She still had no word from Zach and it was getting late. What if something had happened to him? The thought chilled her to the bone.
When her cell suddenly chimed, her pulse spiked. Zach. She held her breath as she answered. “Where are you? Is everything all right?”
The long pause before he answered stole her breath from her lungs.
“I’m at the hospital. But I’m fine. Just a few bumps and bruises.”
She gasped. “What happened? Did you crash?”
“Yes, but not the plane. My car got a flat and ended up in the ditch. Thankfully a Good Samaritan saw the whole thing and called an ambulance. I need you to come get me since I don’t have a car.”
“I’ll be right there. I’ll call Rachel to stay with the children.” She ended the call and dialed her friend as she went back inside to get her purse. Rachel arrived within minutes. She realized that she had to tell the children something, but she didn’t want them panicking.
“Children, I need to talk to you a minute.”
They glanced up at her, their expressions puzzled, and Sophie scrambled to come up with an explanation. “Uncle Zach had a flat tire on the way home from the airfield and he needs me to pick him up. We’ll be home as soon as possible. You behave for Miss Rachel.”
Between traffic lights, slow drivers and an ambulance, the drive to the hospital took longer than normal, further scraping her already raw nerve endings.
Zach was waiting just inside the emergency room door when she arrived, and her first sight of him wrenched her heart. She approached him slowly. Her hand went up to touch the long bandage on the side of his face partially covering his left eye. His right cheek was puffy and his bottom lip was cut.
He shrugged. “Airbag. And a hard hit to my thick skull.” He held up a small plastic bag. “
My meds, and I have a slight concussion.”
Sophie took his arm. “Do you need to stay awake? We have things to talk about.”
He gave her a guilty expression. “I suppose we do. I was afraid you wouldn’t come when I called you.”
The thought never occurred to her. All she could think about was Zach being hurt. “Of course I would. We’re family.”
“Yeah. We are.”
The drive home passed in silence. Sophie kept waiting for Zach to say something, but he spent the time staring out the window. He looked awful and her heart pinched when she thought about what might have happened. “Are you in much pain?”
He chuckled softly. “No. I think they gave me some heavy-duty painkillers. They did warn me to take them regularly because when they wear off, I won’t be happy if I miss them.”
“I’ll make sure you take them on time. Anything else I should know?”
“No. I need to make an appointment with my regular doctor to follow up on the injuries. No big deal.”
Sophie measured her next words carefully. “I’m glad you weren’t seriously hurt.”
Zach glanced in her direction but she kept her eyes on the road ahead. The rain was still coming down steadily. “I know. I have to admit there was a Jesus-take-the-wheel moment when the car was heading into the ditch.”
Sophie had called on Jesus a few times on the drive over. “You need to be very reassuring to the children. I don’t know what Linney will do when she sees your injuries.”
“I’ve thought about that. I’ll make sure I have a big smile on my face.”
She looked over at him and his swollen eyes and lip. “Won’t that hurt?”
“Probably, but I don’t want to upset the kids.”
Zach moved stiffly as they made their way up onto the back porch. She could see he was feeling the results of the impact. The kids looked up when they entered the family room. Rachel’s mouth opened in surprise.
“Uncle Zach. What happened?” Katie asked.
Linney’s eyes teared up. “Why are you hurt? Why is your face all messed up?” She rushed to his side and grabbed his hand, her sweet face distorted with worry.
He picked her up and gave her a kiss. “I’m fine, Linney Bug. My car went into a ditch when I got a flat tire. Just some scratches and bruises from the airbag. I’m fine.”
DJ smirked. “You look like a cage fighter.”
“I’m sure I do.”
Katie hugged him around the waist. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Absolutely, Katie Belle. But I am tired, so I think I’ll sit in my recliner.”
“I’ll help you.” Katie guided him across the room.
Rachel steered Sophie into the kitchen. “Are you sure he’s okay? He looks awful.”
“He says he is. He has to meet with his regular doctor and he has to stay awake tonight but I think he’ll be fine.”
“How are you?”
“Me? I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”
Rachel lifted her brows. “Uh, because the man you care for was in an accident. That kind of thing can shift your thinking.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Rachel grimaced. “Still in denial, huh? Okay. I’ll leave it for now, but you need to do some soul-searching, my friend, and face the truth.”
As she got the children into bed, Sophie couldn’t shake Rachel’s comments. Angela had also suggested that her feelings for Zach went deeper than she realized. Yes, she cared for him, she might even be falling in love with him, but that didn’t mean she loved him the way they were thinking.
Zach had his eyes closed when she returned to the living room. She touched his forearm.
He opened his eyes and looked directly into hers. A warm light softened the dark gaze and a smile moved his lips. “Sophie. What a sweet sight to wake up to.”
Her throat tightened. He was on medication. He didn’t know what he was saying. She tried to not think about how much she wished he meant what he’d just said.
His gaze sharpened and he nodded. “Maybe we should watch a movie or something.”
Sophie took a seat at the end of the sofa nearest his chair so she could keep watch but that proved harder than she’d expected. They watched a movie, caught up on sports news and ate a light meal. He resisted taking his pain meds but she held her ground. Throughout the whole night, Rachel’s advice swirled in the forefront of her mind.
She didn’t have to look hard to face the truth. She was in love with Zach. Not sure how it happened or when, but taking care of him, watching over him, made her realize she wanted to do it forever. She wanted to face each new day with him at her side and confront each life challenge as a team. Mostly she wanted to raise the children with him. They both loved them completely. And she loved him with all her heart.
She buried her hands in her face a moment, then glanced at Zach who was channel surfing again. What would he say if she told him how she felt? He’d probably be embarrassed and avoid her for the next week.
She knew he was attracted to her. But attraction wasn’t love, and she would settle for nothing less. She feared that love and commitment weren’t traits that Zach had cultivated.
She’d have to settle for friendship.
Not sure she could do that.
* * *
Zach slid behind the wheel of his SUV and shut the door. The silence was welcome, but it failed to shut out the words of the doctor. His follow-up visit to his GP had resulted in him being sent to an ophthalmologist. He hadn’t anticipated any real issues but the examination today had left a cold knot in his chest.
There was a serious problem with the retina in his right eye. It was repairable with surgery but there was no guarantee. However the problem was serious enough to urge surgery as soon as possible. If it wasn’t taken care of quickly, it could lead to a loss of vision in that eye down the road.
Neither option appealed to Zach but he couldn’t ignore the situation. Having an operation on his eye was a terrifying prospect, but losing his vision, never being able to fly again, was worse.
He wished he could talk it over with Sophie but she’d only worry. And there was no way he would tell the kids. Memories of how upset the girls were when he missed Katie’s birthday party still troubled him. He would never put them through that again and he wasn’t going to risk scaring them with news of his eye surgery.
There was only one logical course of action. He’d keep the surgery a secret until he knew the final outcome.
He started the car and headed out of the large parking garage turning toward the highway to make the two-hour drive back to Blessing. He’d analyzed the various outcomes a dozen times by the time he neared home. The green landmark sign for the Blessing Bridge rose in the distance as if reminding him who he should consult.
Parking in the small lot, he made his way down the pathway. The midday heat was tempered somewhat here beneath the canopy of trees. He stood in the middle of the old weathered bridge, staring into the still water of the lake below. A frog leaped from the underbrush into the water, sending ripples across the sun-dappled surface.
He could find no words to begin his prayer. All his life he’d wanted to fly. It defined him. Losing that ability would be like ripping his heart from his chest. But losing vision in one eye was equally terrifying.
An image of Sophie floated through his thoughts. She’d been against his flying career, concerned that it was too dangerous. He’d resented her opinion. She’d probably be relieved if he could no longer fly. She’d blame his accident for the eye problem, but the doctor had reassured him that nothing had caused this problem. It was just something that happens. So where did that leave him?
Why are you doing this to me, Lord? Why now?
He closed his eyes, hoping for answers, some sign or a whispered word that would give him courage an
d show him the direction. Since Dean and Madeline’s deaths, his life had been like trying to balance a board on a basketball. Always tilting, struggling to remain on an even keel, never feeling secure. He’d tried to regain a measure of control but it always remained out of reach.
Zach opened his eyes. He’d found no answers at the bridge today. No whispered word from above, no scripture came to mind, no sudden spiritual insight. Discouraged, he started back down the path to the car, the tune of the old hymn “Trust and Obey” playing in his mind. He shook his head. Was that his takeaway? If so, it wasn’t much comfort because he had never been good at either of those traits.
For the time being, he’d stick to his original plan and keep the medical news to himself. There was nothing to be gained by upsetting everyone. The opening of the store was scheduled for the day after tomorrow. Once that was over, he’d examine the situation and go from there.
Right now the grand opening was paramount. Nothing could go wrong. He’d told Hank not to schedule any flights for him that day. The day was all about Sophie. She deserved all the credit for the closet opening and he looked forward to seeing her hard work rewarded.
* * *
The solitude of the master bedroom welcomed Sophie along with the sweet companionship of Lumpy who had followed her. She stroked his silken fur and curled up in the swivel rocker near the window, picking up her sister’s Bible. Lumpy snuggled at her feet, offering his brand of quiet comfort.
Once again her emotions were pulled in two directions. Zach was none the worse for wear after his collision in the ditch. But her heart was still sore from learning about Zach keeping silent about his part in her sister’s death.
But Sophie had come to Blessing to find answers and uncover the reason her sister had turned her back on her family. She understood that Maddie had found happiness in her marriage and her own family. She accepted her sister had carved out a fulfilling life in this community, but reading through her sister’s Bible notations and her entries in her personal notebook, she’d found no explanation. Madeline had mentioned her name several times but with no comments, as if she’d thought of her, then forgotten her in the next moment.
The Orphans' Blessing Page 15
