Brody’s dark eyes narrow and he licks his lips. I’m not sure if he’s even conscious of doing it, but the tell is obvious. I’ve got his full attention now. “If that were the case, I’d tell you I’m very interested. This is something my brethren and I have been searching for for generations. I’d like to know why you’re so confident you can accomplish this when we haven’t been able to.”
The next part is tricky. This group split away from the Devoted because they didn’t believe what we did about Seth and his return. What I’m about to share will only underscore that his group wasn’t entirely wrong in breaking off. I try to swallow, but my throat has gone dry. I wish I’d bought an overpriced coffee drink before I sat down. “I assume you know Seth returned,” I begin tentatively.
He nods slowly, only once. I wait for him to say something—some snide remark about how he didn’t make it long, or how the world doesn’t seem changed, but nothing comes. The lump in my throat begins to dissolve. “He met a girl, a relative of Bess Taylor, and he somehow implanted her consciousness into this girl’s mind.”
Brody shifts in his seat, straightening as he leans toward me. “Are you saying she’s back? Are you saying I can go talk to this girl, the one who knows what Bess knew?”
“Not exactly.”
Brody’s demeanor changes at once. Everything about him darkens, as if he’d be willing to snap my neck in an instant. “I’m not fond of riddles,” he murmurs, his voice low and dangerous.
I fight to keep my eyes from scanning the vicinity. Surely he wouldn’t hurt me here in front of all these witnesses. Then again, he’s an unknown quantity. I assumed he was a psychic, but he hasn’t confirmed that. If he’s not, it’s possible he brought others with him, despite our mutual assurances we’d be alone. How much would it take for a strong psychic or two to block Brody and me from the minds of the nearby patrons? “It’s not a riddle,” I say, pleased when my voice doesn’t quaver. “When the girl’s circle found out what happened, they did an exorcism. Bess’s consciousness isn’t in her anymore.”
Brody presses his palms into the table and makes to stand. “I don’t know what you’re playing at, but—”
I cover one of his hands with my own. “I’m not playing at anything, I promise. I want to help you. I want you to find what you looking for.” I squeeze my eyes closed. This is the part I was hoping I wouldn’t have to say, the part that twists my stomach and presses heavily on my soul. “Seth is gone. Everything I waited for my whole life… It’s all gone. There’s no way I can bring him back. But if there’s a way I can help you, I want to do it.” I hold my breath, waiting as his eyes bore into me. If he’s psychic, he’ll be scanning me now, trying to determine whether I’m telling the truth. I’ve learned enough from Elliot over the years to know that on a surface pass, a person is just looking for obvious signs of deception. It’s in my favor that I do want to help these people find what they’re looking for. It suits my goals. It’s that feeling that I hold on to, hoping if he is indeed searching me, that’s the truth he stumbles on.
After a tense moment, Brody relaxes back into his chair. “So, who’s this girl?”
Chapter Fifteen
Krissa
At school the next day, my stomach clenches unpleasantly as the bell rings to release me from third hour. Tucker didn’t show up today, and Felix and West have been no friendlier than any day before, so I’m already a ball of nerves. I’m still licking my wounds after my failed attempt to reconnect with the psychics, but I try my best to tamp down the memory. I promised Jodi I’d talk to Crystal today, and I’m doing my best to convince myself things will go differently with her.
At least I hope they will.
In the hallway, I stuff my backpack in my locker before slamming the grated metal door and heading down the hall. I’m not going down to the cafeteria; I haven’t seen Crystal there in months. It seems she, like me, has been lying low, although I’m not entirely sure why. Sure, she did things while possessed that she wouldn’t ordinarily have done, but she didn’t cause any lasting damage. We all understand she wasn’t herself, and I know I don’t hold anything against her. It wasn’t she who betrayed us, it was Bess Taylor.
I understand needing space from people, but the fact that Crystal doesn’t eat in the cafeteria complicates my mission. If I remove my charm, I could use my psychic abilities to do a quick sweep of the school, but I’m beyond hesitant to open myself up that way. A typical locater spell requires something connected to the person in question, but I saw a spell in the Barnette grimoire that might work. The handwritten notes that accompanied the incantation warned that the person needs to be relatively close for it to work at all, and it’s not particularly precise, but I’m willing to try.
I round the corner, away from the chatter of people still making their way to the lunchroom. This hall is nearly deserted, with just a small knot of freshmen at the end, thoroughly caught up in themselves. I take a chance they won’t notice me leaning against the cool cinder-block wall, murmuring to myself.
The spell requires a charged talisman that will warm when I’m close to my target. I slip the ring I wear off my finger. The setting is heavy and the stone is a smoky quartz. It’s been passed down in my family for generations. I’m not sure if it’s exactly the kind of item the spell calls for, but I don’t really have anything else—besides the turkey sandwich Mom handed me on my way out the door this morning.
Closing my eyes, I center myself and connect with the elements surrounding me. Magic surges in me immediately, as easily as drawing a breath. On an exhale, I murmur the memorized incantation through three times, just as the grimoire instructed. When I open my eyes, nothing has changed. I glance at the ring but it sits still, looking every bit the same as always. I curl my fingers around it, but it even feels the same—the stone cool to the touch. I sigh. It didn’t work. I shuffle toward the nearest stairwell with half a mind to aimlessly wander around the halls in search of Crystal, but as I go, the ring begins to warm in my hand.
Maybe the spell worked after all.
I take the shallow stairs two at a time on my way up to the third floor. With every step, the metal heats in my palm. This part of the building is mostly deserted, remnants of a time when the high school population in the area was higher than it is now. I don’t have any classes up here, but I know there are a few that meet on this level.
The stairwell is in the corner between two hallways, and when I start down the one on the right, the ring cools. I pivot on my heel and retrace my steps to the other hallway.
The door to the second-to-last room is open, and I edge toward it carefully. When a quick peek reveals Crystal sitting alone in a desk, her lunch spread around a spiral notebook, the tension in my shoulders drains. It worked.
I tap on the door to announce my presence before entering. Crystal doesn’t look up immediately, instead beckoning me closer with a curl of her finger. “Hey, come check this—” Her words die in her throat when her eyes finally snap up to greet me.
The forced smile that cracks my face feels thin as I cross to the desk beside her. “Hi.”
She closes the notebook without looking at it, her eyebrows knitting as she scrutinizes me. “What are you doing here? How did you even find me?”
“I, um…” The answer to the second question is so easy, yet I stumble over it.
She seems to sense what I’m reluctant to say. Her eyes narrow and her lips purse. “Oh. You used magic. Of course.” She leans back in her chair, pressing her palms against the attached desk. “Of course you did.”
I study her, not sure what to say. I’m saved having to construct a reply by the arrival of someone else. Dana Crawford enters, the casual look on her face turning pinched when she catches sight of me. It’s not the first time I’ve seen this expression—it’s the same one I see whenever I catch a glimpse of her walking down the hall clutching Fox’s arm possessively. It’s a far cry from the haughty looks she gave after learning Crystal and my secret about chan
ging the timeline and telling Fox the reason that I seemed closer to Owen than I should. I guess losing her psychic abilities with Seth’s death took her down a peg or two. Not that I care. She can feel free to think she hurt me in some way. My only regret is that she hurt Fox in the process. Although it’s hard to tell due to my self-imposed isolation, I get the sense Fox has been avoiding me. He does his best not to make eye contact, and I get the feeling he doesn’t trust me. But I don’t hold that against him because it’s possible he shouldn’t.
Dana recovers a beat too late, arranging her features into a mask bordering on accusation. “What’s she doing here?”
Crystal doesn’t seem surprised by Dana’s tone. Her eyes barely flick in her friend’s direction before returning to regard me coolly. “I’m not sure yet.”
I take in a breath and release it slowly. I’m not sure what their response will be to me, but I promised Jodi I would do this, so I’m going to see it through. “Jodi wanted me to talk to you.”
Before I can get another word out, Crystal stands, rolling her eyes. “I should’ve known that’s what you’re here for. What, she too chicken to say something to us herself?”
I’m not entirely sure why Crystal thinks Jodi would be afraid to talk to her, since it’s not as if she can retaliate with magic, but I keep that thought to myself. “She thought you might be more willing to listen to me. We’re friends, after all.” My eyes flick between Crystal and Dana and I chew on my lower lip. “Well, kind of.”
Crystal isn’t pacified. “I knew it. I knew she didn’t approve of what we’re doing. She acts all nice, but I could tell every time we went in she was judging us.”
I snort at her paranoia. “Jodi is nice. That’s why she wanted me to talk to you. She’s afraid you guys aren’t able to accept your new limitations.”
Dana makes a scathing noise in the back of her throat, but Crystal waves a hand at her. “And why does she care?” Crystal asks.
I shrug. “I don’t know. Maybe because she knows you better in this reality than you realize. Remember, you and I are supposed to have been friends for years. She’s just worried.”
Crystal cocks her head. “And what about you? Are you worried about me?” Her tone holds a hint of challenge.
I press my lips together, considering carefully my next words. “I want to help you. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. But I did some research and I found some spells you two might still be able to use, even without a direct link to abilities. If you want, I can go over them with you, help you master them. It won’t be the same as really having magic or really being psychic, but it’s something. A starting point. I know you don’t want to hear this, but you might not ever get full abilities back. I want to help you find your new normal.”
Dana crosses her arms over her chest. “Yeah, like we want help from you,” she starts, her tone acerbic.
Crystal shushes her. “We’ll think about it.”
The surprise on Dana’s face is obvious. A surge of pleasure rises in me at Crystal’s complete disregard for Dana’s opinion, but I push it down. Trying to keep my face as neutral as possible, I nod. “Let me know when you want to get together to try.”
I don’t stick around to wait for the discussion that is inevitably going to occur between Crystal and Dana. They’re best left to sort their thoughts out by themselves. But as I walk out of the room, I feel lighter than I have in weeks—months. Although Crystal hasn’t agreed to let me help her, the fact that she didn’t completely shut me down is good enough. If I can help her get to a place where she can accept who she is now, maybe something inside me will change. Maybe I can reclaim a bit of the girl I used to be. And if I can do that, maybe the other things I want aren’t as far away as I convinced myself they are.
The lunch bell rings as I start down the steps to the second floor. I’ll need to stop by my locker to pick up my supplies for math. I dig into the brown paper bag still clutched in my hand and pull out my turkey sandwich. For the first time in I don’t know how long, I actually feel hungry.
It’s with a full mouth that I step into the second-floor hallway. I cycle through the week’s plans in my head. There is work at the shop, of course, but I’m sure I could get off if I told Jodi I was going to help Crystal. I also have plans to hang out with Griffin and Tucker, but those can always be shifted. Things with those two are casual enough that they won’t mind if I don’t show up for the next night of pizza and random television.
I’m taking another bite of turkey and bread when my shoulder bumps against someone in the hall. Typically, I would murmur an apology, keeping my eyes down, but there’s no talking now with my mouth full of food. Instead, I glance at the person beside me, ready to give a nonverbal sorry, but I stop short when I recognize who it is. Felix. He’s eyeing me with veiled curiosity, which is more interest than he’s shown in months, including yesterday when I sat down at his lunch table.
I chew quickly and swallow my bite. “Sorry about that,” I say, surprised at how easy my tone is. Given his reaction to me yesterday, I probably shouldn’t say anything to him, but I can’t help myself. For the first time in a long time, I feel like me.
Felix nods, his eyebrows cinching as he studies me. “No worries.” His tone is guarded, but it’s far warmer than yesterday. I wonder how Bria’s conversation with him went. “You seem to be in a good mood.”
I consider this. When is the last time that’s been true for me? So long ago, I can’t even remember. “You know what? I think I am.”
A smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. “Well, that’s good, then.”
“It is,” I say. The skin on my face stretches in a way that so unfamiliar it takes me a moment to realize what’s happening: I’m smiling. Not one of my forced smiles, or even the kind that happen when I’m with Tucker and Griffin, but a real smile.
Felix’s face grows serious and he brushes the crook of my arm with his fingers. “Look, I’m sorry about yesterday—”
I shake my head, cutting him off. I can’t tell him his behavior was all right, because it wasn’t, but I don’t want him to feel bad about it. He had a right to treat me that way, especially considering I’ve treated him recently. “Just promise next time I sit down by you, we can chat. Just like this.”
“Okay. I think I can do that.”
My math class is just ahead, and I’m about to say my goodbyes and head toward the room when Felix hooks his hand around my arm, tugging me gently to a stop. When I face him, his features are tight. “Felix, what—”
But when I hazard a glance back toward the math room, I know why he wanted me to stop. Owen stands just beyond the door, his face alight as he chats with Laurie or Lauren or whatever her name is. The bubble of happiness that’s been building in my chest bursts as if pricked with a pin. Every possibility that’s started swimming in my head since bumping into Felix dissolves back into darkness. What was I thinking? Even if I could turn back into the girl I was before that night in the warehouse, the fact is the world has moved on without me. Felix opens his mouth to say something, but I tug away from him, keeping my head down as I dart toward my classroom, using every bit of resolve within me to keep from looking up at Owen again.
Chapter Sixteen
Crystal
Dana’s leg jiggles anxiously as she perches on the couch in my living room after school. She checks the time on her phone for about the tenth time in the last minute.
I roll my eyes and focus my attention back out the front window. “I don’t know why you’re acting so nervous. Krissa said she wants to help us.”
“Maybe she wants to help you,” she mutters.
I fight off another eye roll. I spent the second half of the school day considering Krissa’s offer. By sixth hour, I figured the worst that could happen is she’d come armed only with things we’ve tried before. But maybe, just maybe, she’ll have put her hands on the spell, the one that will help me and Dana get to a point where we can get our abilities back. I know that’s not h
er intention—Krissa said she wanted to help us accept our limitations. But maybe she’ll do more than that.
We decided to meet at my house, since today’s the day both my parents work late. Dana’s house is also an option, as her aunt is rarely at home, but I figured Dana wouldn’t want Krissa there. I’ve only asked enough to satisfy my curiosity about why when I came back to myself after being possessed Dana was suddenly with Fox. Last thing I knew, Fox was still lamenting his breakup with Krissa. But I guess once he knew she wasn’t the girl he thought he was, he was more than happy to give up on her and move on. To his credit, he hasn’t told anyone else our secret. Besides one or two offhanded comments, he hasn’t even talked about the timeline shift to me.
“When did she say she’d be here?” Dana asks, not for the first time. “Fox is supposed to pick me up, and—”
“I don’t think the world will implode if Krissa and Fox are both here at the same time. I don’t think she’ll hex you, and I doubt she’ll punch you. So just get over yourself already, okay?”
Dana makes a face, a tell that I’ve hit one of her insecurities. I’m surprised how well I’ve gotten to know her. I get where she’s coming from, though. Hanging out with your boyfriend’s ex has got to be strange in the best of circumstances. The fact that Dana is the reason Fox now completely ignores Krissa is a complicating factor.
A car I don’t recognize pulls up into the driveway, and after a few seconds Krissa climbs out. When did she get a car? How much has happened while I’ve been so busy worrying about getting my magic back that I haven’t paid attention to the world around me? She grabs a drawstring backpack before closing the door and heading to my porch. I meet her at the front door and open it before she has a chance to knock. Her face is more closed than it was when she left the classroom at lunchtime—more like it was when I approached her about coming here at the end of sixth hour. I wonder what happened in that span of time to make her retreat back into herself again. Although I’ve been distracted with my own endeavors, it hasn’t been lost on me that Krissa has spent most of her school hours alone. The only person I’ve seen her with with any frequency is Tucker.
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