by Eric Filler
Anothersilverlininghesupposedwasshe’dgottenitworsethanhim.
Whilehe’dbeenturnedintoapuny,geekyrunt,shehadballoonedintoageeky sow.Ifheopenedhiseyes,itprovidedasmallcomforttolookovertoher,her swollenbodytakingupmostofherbunk.Afittingpunishmentforthatpreening fool.He’dservedwithdishwasherswhohadmorecommandaptitudethanher.
Heofcoursecouldn’tsaythis.Shemightbeatubbybrat,butifshesaton him,she’dprobablybreakallthebonesinhisbody.It’snotfair!hethought.He checkedhimself;suchthoughtswerethoseofaweaklittleboy,notaman.And damnit,hewasstillaman,insideatleast.Nomatterwhathappenedtohim, theycouldn’ttakethataway.
Acrosstheroom,thesowrolledoveronherbunk.Heknewthiswithout openinghiseyesfromthesqueakofthemetalframe,asifitwereabouttogive way.ShehadgivenupanyproposalstoescapeshortlyafterSherihadbeen takenaway.Forafewminutesshehadpawedatthepanelthemanhadopened, butthenshegaveupwhenithadbecometoomucheffort.
Noonehadreturnedsincethen.Theygotasmallamountoffoodandwater fromanotherpanelalongawalltohisright.Shehadtriedtopawatittoo withoutanyluck.Hehadn’tbotheredtotellheritwouldn’tdoanygood.They werewellandtrulytrappedinhere.
Itwouldn’tdoanygoodtoescape;healreadyknewthatmuch.Notfrom somethingthatcouldreachthemallthewayoutindeepspaceandfuckwith themasithad.Heknewithadtobesomekindofintelligenceatwork.Onthe shiphemighthaveagreeditwassomekindofweirdtemporalanomaly,butin thisroom,whenit’dfuckedwiththemall,therewasnowaytodenythetruth.
Someoneouttherewasusingthemforsport.Firstithadturnedtheminto
childrentocaperaroundforitsamusement.Ithadmadethemplayarigged gametotrytosavetheirship.Thenitbroughtthemheretocontinuethegame.
Onlynowithadturnedthemintomirrorimagesofthemselves.Jeri,thatfaded beauty,becameugly.Him,thestrongest,hadbecometheweakest.And Sheri...Sherihadactuallybecomewhatshealwayswasinside.Maybethat’s whyithadtakenherfirst.
Hedidn’twanttoimaginewhatgameitwoulduseherin.Themanwho’d fetchedherhadmentionedatest.Whateverwasouttherewouldprobably changeherintosomeotherterriblething.Whathappenedwhenitboredofher?
Hegothisanswerasthedooropenedagain.Terystilldidn’topenhiseyes.
Hewilledhimselftodisappear,toturninvisible.Takethatsow,hethought.
Takeherandleavemealone.Thosewereagainascaredlittleboy’sthoughts, butatthemomenthedidn’tcare.Bettertostaylikethisthantoenduremore torment.
Ahandtouchedhisshoulder.“Come,boy,gettoyourfeet.”
“Idon’twanna,”hewhined.
“GetuporI’lldragyououtofhere,youngman.”
“Thengoaheadandtry,”hesaid.Itwasstupid,buthedidn’tcare.He didn’twanttogoouttheretobemadesportofsomemore.
Ahandseizedthebackofhissweater.Terygrabbedontotheedgesofhis bunk.Heknewitwouldn’tdoanygood,buthewastooafraidofwhatlay beyondthedoortocare.“Leavemealone!”heshouted.
Heclungtothebunkwithasmuchstrengthashispunymuscleswould allow.ThemanshookhisheadandthenyankedTeryfreewithonehand.Tery squealedandflailedaroundtonoavail.Hewasashelplessasababyinthe man’sgrip.“Helpme!”hescreamedtoJeri.
Sheheavedoffthebunk.“Whatareyoudoingwithhim?”
“He’sgoingtobetested.”
“WhataboutSheri?”
“She’ssafe.Fornow.”Thethreatwasobviousinhisvoice.Jerisatback downonhisbunk.
“Youbitch!They’regoingtokillusall!”Terywailed.Themancarried himthroughthedoor.Itslidshutbehindhim.
AroundTerywasonlyacorridorofsilvermetal.Hegotagoodlookof howpathetichelookedtobecarriedbytheman’sonehand.“Lemmego!Ican walkmyself.”
ThemanshruggedandthenhurledTerytothefloor.Thelittleboyinhim wantedtosobfromthepain,butheforcedhimselfnottocry.Hestaggeredto hisfeet.“Nowwhat?”
“Walk,”themansaid.Hepointedtotheendofthecorridor.
Terysniffledandthennodded.“Fine.”
Hemanagedtowalkunderhisownpowertotheendofthecorridor.It becameincreasinglydifficultashiskneeswobbledmoreandmorewithevery step.Atanymomentheexpectedhisbladdertoemptyitself.Hisrunnynose becameafloodthatnotevenhissleevecouldstem.Themanshookhishead again.“Youdon’thavetobeafraid,boy.Noone’sgoingtohurtyou.”
“You’rejustgoingtousemeforsport.Likeyouhaveallalong.Likeyou didtoSheri.Whereisshe?Whatdidyoudotoher?”Ittookallofhisreserves ofcouragetoaskthesequestions.Whenhefinished,hewantedtodroptohis kneesandthrowup.Heleanedagainstawallinordertostayupright.
“She’sfine.She’slearninganewtrade.”
“Soyou’remakingusslavesnow?Isthatit?”
“Herandthatcowmaybe,butnotyou.”ThemanputahandonTery’s shoulder.“Aboylikeyouhascertainqualitiesweadmire.Youcouldbeofuse tous.”
“Thenwhy’dtheydothistome?”
“It’satest.Toseehowstrongyouare.”ThemantousledTery’shair.
“You’vepasseditsofar.”
“Ihave?”
“Ofcourse.Outsideyoumightbeapunygeek,butinsideyou’restilla man.”
“SoI’vepassed?They’llletmegonow?”
“Notyet.There’sonemoretestforyoutopass.”
Themanopenedadoor.Whenitopened,Terypreparedfortheworst.He preparedtoseeadungeonlitteredwithbonesoranarenastockedwith monsters.Thelastthingheexpectedwasaroomwithgauzypinkcurtainsand satinpillows.
Atopagroupofthosepillowswasawomanwithpaleskinandlongblack hair.Shewasprobablynomorethantwenty-oneyearsold,justoldenoughtobe hismotherinhispresentstate.Sheworeonlythebarestsheathoftranslucent cloth,aveiloverherfacesohecouldn’tseehereyes.Fromtheflashofwhite beneaththefabric,heassumedshesmiledathim.Shebeckonedwithone finger.“Comehere,youngman.Makeyourselfathome.”
“Yes,ma’am,”hewhispered.
***
Themomenthesteppedthroughthedoor,anotherboltofwhitelightshot throughhim.Onlythistimehefoundhimselfgrowing.Hegrewuntilhewasa managain.Ayoungman,probablyseventeenoreighteen,butcloseenough.
Theonlyproblemwasthathehadbecomeamanfromtheboyhehad been.Hewastaller,butotherwisestillthesamescrawnygeekasbefore.He wantedtostamphisfootandsqueal,“Nofair!”Onelookatthewomanonher pillowsmadehimforgetaboutthat.
Heclearedhisthroatandthenasked,“Areyoumytest?”
“That’sright.”
“WhatamIsupposedtodo?”
Hegottheanswerhehopedfor:“Iwantyoutofuckme.Fuckmehard.”
Hedidn’tneedtobetoldtwice.Hefumbledtounbuttonhispantsandtake offhissweaterandshirt.Hethrewalloftheseintoaheaponthefloor.Hiscock wasalreadyatfullattention.Hisfaceburnedwithembarrassmentfromthis.
Butthenhehadn’tfuckedawomaninwelloverayear;hesupposeditwaslong overdue.
Hedidn’tneedhertobeckontohimagain.Hegallopedacrosstheroom, overtoherbedofpillows.Hishandsshookashepeeledthetranslucentsheath fromherbody.Hiscockthreatenedtoexplodejustatthesightofhernaked body.Itwasaboy’slust,awild,uncontrollablefire.Hetookadeepbreathto calmhimselfdown.Therewasnopointinrushingit.Thatwasuntilshe snapped,“Well?”
“Yes,ma’am,”hemumbled.Hethrusthimselfbetweenhero
penlegs.As hebegantogrindawayonher,sheranherhandsalonghisbody.
“Suchaneageryoungman,”shepurred.“Harder.Doitharder.”
“Asyouwish.”Hethrustharder,butsomethingdidn’tfeelright.Hedidn’t feelasdeepinherashehadbeen.Yethedidn’tfeelanylesshardthanjusta fewmomentsago.Whatwasgoingon?
Somethingtickledthebaseofhisneck.Atfirsthethoughtitwasthe woman.Thenhetouchedhisneckandfelthairthathadn’tbeentherebeforehe started.Hepushedthegauzypinkcurtainasideandsawamirrorhadbeen convenientlyleftthere.Inthatmirrorhesawhistidybowlcuthadbecome shaggyandzitshadpoppeduponhisforehead.
“No,notagain,”hemumbled.
“Somethingwrong?”thewomanasked.Sheleeredathim.“Areyouspent already?”
“No!Icandoit,”hesaid,buthisvoicecracked.
Hairfellintohiseyes.Inthemirrorhesawhisbodyhadbecomeleaner andmorecompact;hecouldfeelthatinsideheraswell.Thatwasthegame.
Thesickbastards.Therealtest.Hewassupposedtofuckthisgirlbeforehe becamealittleboyagain.Well,hewasgame.Hethrustevenharderandclosed hiseyessohedidn’thavetoseehisreflection.
Itwasn’tanygood.Theharderhetried,thesmallerhebecame.Thehair thatfellintohiseyesbecamethicker.Hebrusheditback—agirlishgesture.
Thewomanleeredathimagain,eitheroblivioustohisdiscomfortorenjoying it.“Comeon,Ithoughtyouwerearealman,”shegoadedhim.
“I’mtrying!”hewhined.
“Try harder,”shewhisperedandkissedoneofhisfreckledcheeks.He hammeredawayonherforanotherfranticminute.Shecluckedhertongue.“I canbarelyfeelanything.Maybeyoushouldgobacktoyourcellandtheycould bringthefatgirlintotryit.”
“Shutup!”hesquealed.Hegaveitonelasttry,untilatressofhairfellover hisfacelikeacurtain.Hispeniswentflaccid,retractingintoauselessstub.He pushedasidethecurtaintoseealittleboyinthemirroragain.Alittleboywith theluxuriousshoulder-lengthhairofagirl.
Hecollapsedontothepillowsandsobbed.Thewomancluckedhertongue again.“Pathetic.Lookatyoucryingtherelikealittle girl.”
Hefeltapainbetweenhislegs.Foramomenthewrithedonthepillows.
Thenheopenedhiseyes.Inthemirrorhesawatiny,palefacewithamassof blackhairtohiswaistandthickbangsthatblottedouthisforehead.Helevered himselfuptohisfeetandthenwailedwithagirlishscream.
Hestaredatthespotwherehispenisshouldhavebeen.Therewasonlya slitbetweenhislegsnow.“No!It’snotfair!I’maboy.I’maboy!”
Thewomangotupandthenputahandonhis— her—shoulders.The womansweptahandthroughTery’shair.“Now,sweetheart,youshouldn’tbein here.Goonandgetdressed.”
“No!I’mnotgoinganywhere.Notuntilyouchangemeback!”
“Honey,wedon’thavetimeforsuchgames.”Thewomanpressedapink dressintoTery’shands.“Gogetdressed.”
Afteramomentofdeliberation,Teryputonthedress.Toseehimselfina pinkdresswasbetterthantoseehimselfnakednow.Hesniffledandwasabout toturnawaywhenthewomantouchedhishair.Shefixedapinkbowatophis hairtocompletethelook.TearssparkledinTery’seyes.“No,thisisn’tfair.
Youcan’tdothis!”
“Goonandplay,sweetheart.Mommywillbehomelater.”Thewoman gaveTeryalittleshovetowardsthedoor.Hestaggeredoffthroughthedoor.
Insteadoftheprisonblock,hewentthroughthedoortofindanotherbedroom, thisonealittlegirl’sroomwithpinkwalls,apinkcomforteronthebed,and evenpinkfurniture.Hethrewhimselfontothebedtoburyhisfaceinthepink pillowsashesobbed.
***
Laterhefeltahandshakehisshoulder.“It’stimetogetup,sweetheart,”
thewoman’svoicesaid.
“Idon’twanna,”Terywhined.Evenwithhiseyesstillclosed,heknew fromthesoundofhisvoicethathewasstillalittlegirl.
“Nownow,youcan’tsleepallday.”
“Cantoo.”
“Well,maybeyoucould,butyouwon’t.”Thewomantousledhishair.
“Now,upyougo.”
SheseizedTery’sarmandwrenchedhimtohisfeet.Henearlycriedtosee hestillworethepinkdressfrombeforehe’dgonetosleep.Thewomanswepta handthroughTery’shairtosmoothitdown.Sheheldupthepinkbowshehad placedtherebefore.“Youshouldn’tgotobedinyourclothes.”
“Sorry.”
“Comealong,let’sgetyouabath.”
“Icanbathemyself,”heinsisted.
“Don’tbesilly.You’renottoobigyetforyourmothertobatheyou.”
“You’renotmymother!”
Thewomanwasunfazedbythis.“OfcourseIam.Istillremembertheday Ibroughtyouintothisworld.Mysweetlittlegirl.”
“I’mnotagirl!AndI’mnotlittle.”
“It’smuchtooearlyforthesegames,younglady.”Thewomantuggedon Tery’sarmtodraghimintoabathroom.Eventhetilesonthewalloftheroom werepink.Teryfacedthemirrorandsawthelittlegirl’sfacereflectedthere.
Hercheeksreddenedashestaredather.
Heturnedawayandhuggedhimself.Thewomancluckedhertongue.
“Let’sgo,younglady.”
“No.Idon’twantyoutogivemeabath.Icandoitmyself.”
“Now,sweetheart—”
Hestampedhisfootlikealittlegirlthrowingatantrum.“I’mnotababy!I candoitmyself.”
Hebracedhimselfforthewomantoslaphim;hisownmotherprobably wouldhaveslappedhimsillyalready.Thenagain,hisownmotherhadnever givenashitifhe’dtakenabathornot.Helookedupatthewomanwithtearsin hiseyes.“Please, Mama?”
Shesighedandthennodded.“Allright.Isupposeyou’reoldenoughtodo ityourself.Butmakesureyougetgoodandclean.I’llknowifyoupretend.”
“Yes,Mama,”hemumbled.Shebrushedasidehisbangstokisshimonthe forehead.Thenshelefttheroom,closingthedoorbehindher.
Teryheavedasighofrelief.Justtomakesurehewasn’tdisturbed,he
lockedthedoor.Then,makingsurehefacedawayfromthemirror,he undressed.Evenwithoutthemirror,hestillcouldn’thelpbutseetheblankspot wherehispenisshouldhavebeen.Itwasn’tfair.Thebastardswantedtobreak him,tomakehimintoalittlegirl,buthewouldn’tgive.Nomatterwhatthey did,hewouldn’tgive.
Hehadn’ttakenabathinalmostthirtyyears,butdecidedtotakeonenow.
Atleastthenthewatercouldcoverhisunfamiliargenitals.Thelonghairproved agreaterchallengetowash.Hefinallydunkedhisheadunderthewaterinorder towetit.Afterheworkedwhathethoughtwasenoughshampooin,herepeated theproceduretowashitaway.Whenitcametimetousethesoap,hemanaged onlyonehalf-heartedswipebetweenhislegs.Hedoubtedhis“mother”would notice.
Oncefinished,heclimbedoutofthewaterandgrabbedatowel—pinkof course.Forseveralminuteshedriedhishair,untilitwasafrizzyballabouthis head.Hedriedtherestofhisbodyandthenwrappedthetowelaroundhisbody; itwasbigenoughtogofromhisnipplesdownpasthisknees.
Hewasn’tsurprisedtoseethewomanwhoclaimedtobehismotherwaited bythedoor.Assoonasshesawhim,shebegantolaugh.“What?”heasked.
Shecontinuedtolaugh.Hischeeksturnedwarm.“Stopit!”
“I’msorry,sweetheart.”Sheranahandthroughhishair.“Comeon,let’s seewhatwecando.”
Sheledhimovertothevanity,wherehehadnochoicebuttositdownand facethemirror.Heclosedhiseyesasthewomanbegantorunacombthrough thetangledhair.Hisscalpbur
nedassheyankedthetanglesloose.Afterafew minutes,tearsbubbledupinhiseyes.Hefelthercheektouchhisdamphair.
“I’msorry,sweetie.It’llbeoversoon.”
Hefelthergrabhandfulsofhaironeithersideofhishead.Whenhe openedhiseyes,hesawshehadtiedhishairintocutepigtails.Hegrabbedat onetopulltheribbonfromit.“No!”heshrieked.
“Butyoulooksopretty.”
“Ihateit!”
Shegrabbedoneofhishandsandglaredathim.“That’senoughofthat, younglady.You’llkeepthoseribbonsinorI’llusethemtotieyourhands.
Understand?”
“Yes,Mama.”
“Good.Nowlet’sgetyoudressed.”
Heexpectedapinkdresslikeyesterday,butonthebedlayayellowdress dottedwithgreenflowers.Atinypairofpantiesandapairofanklesockswitha yellowpuffontheankleofeachlaynexttothem.“Doyouneedanyhelp?”
“No,Mama,”hemumbled.
Hewaiteduntilshewentfromtheroomtoputontheclothes.Thepanties andsockswereself-explanatory.Thedresswasmoredifficult.Hetriedtwiceto getiton,butendeduptangledinthefabric.Thethirdtimehemanagedtoliftit overhisheadandthenslipitonlikeashirt.
Thelastitemwastheshoes.Apairofsaddleshoessatatthefootofthe bed.Theseinthemselveswerenotaproblem.Theproblemwasthattheshoes hadlaces;noshoeshadusedthoseantiquesinoveracentury.Hefumbledwith thestringsforafewminutes.Withasigh,hegaveupandthentrottedoutofhis room.
His“mother”stirredapotonthestove.Sheturnedtolookathim.Again, shelaughedathim.“Comehere,”shesaidthroughhersnickers.Hetrudged overtoher,hiseyesonthedamnableshoes.Shekneltdownandwitheasetied thetwostringsoneachshoetogether.Oncefinished,shepattedTery’shead.
“Don’tworry,sweetheart,you’llgetiteventually.”
