by Eric Filler
“Goodmorning,ladies.”
“Goodmorning,”theyrespondedinunison,asiftheywereprogrammedto doso.Forallherhaughtiness,evenSheriwasscaredofTai,scaredhemight changeherbackintoamidgetoratimidcreaturelikehersister.Theyallsighed withreliefasTaiwentintohisofficeandshutthedoor.Thatdidn’tmeanhe couldn’tgettothem;Jeriknewhecouldgettothemanywheretheywent.
“I’llletyougettowork,Granny.HavefunwithHowetonight.”
Jerididn’tunclenchherfistsuntilSherihadstompedoutoftheoffice, presumablytogotalktoherboyfriendRaun.Withanothersigh,Jerisettowork.
***
Aftertwohours,theintercombuzzed.JerigulpedassheheardTaisay,
“Jeri,couldIseeyouinmyoffice,please?”
“Yes,sir.”Shegrabbedanotebookandpenandthenscurriedintothe office.Asshecrossedthethreshold,shewaitedtotransformintoamidgetora childorsomeotherterribleform.
Forthemoment,nothinghappened.Taimotionedhertotheseatacross fromhisdesk.“Beadearandshutthedoor,please.”
“Yes,sir,”shesaidagain.Shedidn’twanttoshutthedoor,tocutherself offfromSheriandTeri.NotthattheywouldbeofanyuseshouldTaitry anything,butatleastthenshewouldn’tfeelsoalone.“Youhavealetterfor me?”
“No,notrightnow.”
“Oh.”Jerishifteduncomfortablyinherseat.ShewaitedforTaitoaskher togetdownonherkneestosuckhisprivatesagain.Sheshudderedatthe thought.
Taiblewoutastreamofsmokefromhiscigarandthensetitinanashtray.
Heleanedforwardathisdeskandsteepledhisfingers.“Youneedn’tbeso terrified.I’mnotgoingtohurtyou.”
“I-I’mnotterrified.”
“Please,Icansmellitonyou.It’ssopainfullyobviousthatevenablind mancoulddetectit.”
“I’msorry.”
“Don’tbesorry.Isupposeyouhavereasontobefrightenedafterthelast month,don’tyou?Butallthat’swaterunderthebridgenow,understand?”
“Yes.”
“Good.”Hepickedupthecigaragaintopuffonit.Jerishiftedinherchair again,waitingforhimtogettothepoint.“AmIkeepingyoufromsomething?”
“No.I—”
“You’restillworried.Tellme,Jeri,didyoueverreallyloveme?”
“Yes,”sheanswered.Shetriedtomakehermindbelievethis,butshe couldn’t.No,shehadn’treallylovedTai.Notinthatsense.Shehadlovedwhat he’dgiventoher:beauty,ajob,andaplacetolive.Forwhathe’dgiventoher, she’doverlookedtheawfulthingshe’ddonetoherinthebedroom.
“So,Iguesswehaveouranswer,”Taisaid.Jeribracedherselffortheflash oflightthatwouldpromptherbodytochangeagain.“Youmustn’tthinkI’m suchanogre,Jeri.Afterall,you’vealreadygiventomethemostpreciousthing toyou;whatelsecouldItake?”
Shelookeddownatherfeet,chastened.Hewasright.Hehadalready takenherbeauty,heryouth,andherself-respect;whatelsedidshehaveleft?
Shecouldfeelherfacewarmandtearsthreatentocometohereyes.“CanIgo now?”sheaskedsoftly.
“Maybeyoudon’trememberlovingme,butIthinktherewasatime,wasn’t there?Onlyitwasn’tmeyouloved.”
Shelookedup.“Idon’tknowwhatyoumean.”
“Don’tyourememberBene?”
“Mycat?”
“No,sweetheart,notyourcat.”Hestoodupandthencamearoundhis desk.Jeristiffenedasheputahandonhershoulder.Heheldamirrortoher face.Initshesawnotherface,butthatofapastyteenagegirlwithfreckles, cat’seyeglasses,andlimpplatinumhair.“Doyourememberher?”
“No,”Jericroaked,butsomethinggnawedatthebackofhermind,asense ofdeja-vuatthesightofthegirl’sface.
“Thinkhard.”
Thebackofherheadbegantothrob.Jericlosedhereyes.Unbidden, imagesappearedbeforeher:arundownhouse,anoldwoman,aschool,anda youngman.Thethrobbingbecameasharppainashisfaceappearedtoher.
Likethegirlinthemirror,hehadbeenapastygeekwithglassesandfreckles.
He’dbeensokindtothegirl—toher.“Bene.Oh,Bene,”shemoaned.
“Nowyouremember.Youlovedthatboy,didn’tyou?”
“Yes!”Thememoryofthoselastmomentsinthelimousinecamebackto her.SheopenedhereyesandthenlookedupatTai.“Youkilledhim!Heloved meandyoukilledhim!”
Sheleapedfromherchairandthrewherselfathim.Itdidn’tdoanygood.
Evenasafull-grownwomanshewasmuchtooweaktohurthisthickbodywith itsrock-hardmuscles.Themirrordisappearedfromhishandsothathecould takeherwithbothofhishands.“Don’tbeafool,”hesaid.“Ididn’tkillhim.I washim.”
“You?Butyoucouldn’t—”Hervoicetrailedoffasshethoughtofthose wonderfuldayswithBene.HowcouldTaibethatsweetyoungmanwhohad helpedherthroughthosedarktimesinhighschool?Howcouldhebethatman wholovedhersomuchheallowedhimselftobeturnedintoaboyjusttobewith her?
“Youstilldon’tunderstand.ThereneverwasaBene.Notarealone.
Therewasonlyme.Whenheservedhispurpose,Ieliminatedhim.”
“Why?”
“Tobreakyou,onceandforall.Anditdidthetricktoo,I’dsay.You’ve beennothingbutcomplianteversince.”
Jeribarelyheardhim;thepaininherheadhadbecomesointense,shecould onlyseeafewinchesinfrontofher.Taihelpfullyeasedhertothefloor,where sherestedonallfoursashermindscreamedwithpain.Itwasasiftheone memoryhadopenedavaultofothers.Shesawadifferentwoman,onewhowas almostlikeshe’dbeenexceptshehadwornablueuniform.Shehadworked in...space?No,thatcouldn’tbe.Therewereonlyafewsatellitesinspace,not
shipswithpeopleonthem.
Therehadbeentwootherswithher.Ayoungbrunettewomanwhohad alwaysbeensoeagertoplease...Sheri.Andtherewasaman.Amaningrimy coveralls,whosebreathalwayssmelledawful.Hehadalwaysbeensoterribleto bearound...Teri.No,Tery.Theyhadallbeentogetheronaspaceshipandthen strangethingsbegantohappen.Theygotyoungerandyounger,untiltheywere helplessbabies.
“Youdidallthis,”Jeriwhisperedthroughclenchedteeth.“Youchanged everything.”
“Ididn’thavetochangemuchforyou.Youalwayswereavain,preening fool.”
“Why?Whyareyoudoingthis?”
“IthinkIexplainedittoyouonce.Orperhapsitwasyourboyfriend.”He gesturedaroundhim.“I’mcreatingaperfectworld,onethatwon’trepeatthe mistakesofthepast.Andoneyouneedn’tbepartofanymore.”
ThencametheflashoflightJerihadbeendreading.Whilestillonall fours,herbodystartedtoshrink.Whileherbodygotsmaller,herclothes—
includingherglasses—remainedthesamesize.Herarmspulledinsideher sleevesandcontinuedtoshrinkuntilherhandsreachedonlythehalfwaypoint.
Atlastshefinallystoppedshrinking.Taijerkedheruptoherfeet.She wobbledforamomentinheroversizedhighheelsbeforesherecoveredher balance.AgainTaiheldupamirrortoherface.Thistimeshesawherselfas shehadbeenthismorning,exceptnowthehairboundintoabunwasentirely brownandherfacewasdottedwithfreckles.Withheroversizedglassesand clothes,shelookedlikealittlegirlwhohadgottenintohermother’sclosetand pretendedtobeagrown-up.
“Don’tbesilly.You’vealwaysbeenpretendingtobeagrown-up.Inside you’vealwaysbeenthesameselfish,shallowchild.”
“Nuh-uh,”shewhined.
Hetousledherhairandthensaid,“Now,it’stimeforyoutogo.”
“No!Notuntilyouchangemeback!”
/>
“Gonow,younglady.Orelse.”Toillustratethethreat,Jerishrunkafew centimeters.Shefeltapaininhermouthandrealizedherfrontteethweregone.
Shehadlostherbabyteeth,whichmeantshewasprobablyaboutsixyearsold.
“It’llbefourifyoudon’tgetmoving.”
Shehadtostuffherfeettothetoesofhershoesinordertowalkinthemto thedoor.SheshuffledalongwithonehandinTai’s,asifhewereherfather.
Beforeheopenedthedoor,shebegged,“Pleathedon’tdothith.”
“I’msorry,sweetie,butIhaveothermatterstoattendtonow.”
Whenheopenedthedoor,Jerisawshewasnottheonlyonewho’d changed.SheriandTerihadbothshrunkaswell.Likehertheyworetheclothes theyhadwornintotheofficeasadults.Sherilookedespeciallyridiculouswith hersheerblacktoppressedtoherflatchestandlittlepotbelly.Herblackpigtails alsocontrastedsharplywiththesexinessofheroutfit.
Teriseemedtheleastaffectedofthethreeofthem.Herhairhadshorteda bitandturnedwavier,butotherwisesheseemedstilllikeherself.Thenagain, Terihadbeenthemosttimid,themostchild-likeofthem.
“You!”Sheriroared.Sheflewaroundherdeskinherstockingfeet.She threwherselfnotatTai,butatJeri.Inhertoo-bigshoes,Jericouldn’treactin timetoavoidbeingtoppledbySheri.“Whatdidyoudo?”
“Ididn’tdoanything!Itwathallhim!Hemademeremember.”
Thisdidn’tseemtosatisfySheri,whoclawedatJeri’sfacewithherlittle hands.ThatwasuntilTaiheftedherintotheairbythebackofherblousewith onehand.“That’senoughofthat,younglady.”
“Idon’twannabeakidagain!”Sherihowled.
TaidroppedhertothefloornexttoJeri.“I’mafraidIwon’tneedyour servicesanymore,girls.Isuggestyouleavebeforesecuritygetshere.”
“I’mnotgoinganywhere!”Sherishouted,butinherhigh-pitchedvoiceit soundedonlycomical.
Hersisterscurriedovertotakeherarm.“Webettergo.”
“No!Notuntilhemakesusgrown-upsagain.”Sheristampedonebare foot.“Thisisn’tfair!”
Thenitwastoolate.Threesecurityguardsburstintotheoffice.“Problem, Mr.Lecau?”oneasked.
“I’mafraidthese urchinssomehowfoundtheirwayintomyoffice.Would youseethemoutofthebuilding?”
EvenasTaispoke,Jerifoundherclotheschanging.Heroversizedsweater andskirtbecameanold-fashionedreddresswithanapronspatteredwithdirt andgrime.Sheri’sclothesbecameasimilardress,onlybrown.AsforTeri,she woretatteredpants,ashirt,andvestlikeaboy,perhapsowingtothefactthatshe hadbeenaboyinthepast.Theirheelsshrankintobattered,uglyblackshoes thatdidn’tfitmuchbetter.OnlyJeriandTeri’sglassesremainedthesame.
OneguardgrabbedJeribytheear.Shesquealedinpain,butdidn’ttryto fightbackashehauledheraway.Sheknewanystrugglewouldbefutile.Sheri probablyknewthisaswell,butthatdidn’tstopherfromclawingattheguard whotookherbytheear.“It’snotfair!It’sallherfault!She’stheoneyou want!”
Shericontinuedtothrasharoundontheelevatorridedown.JeriandTeri
onlystareddownatthefloor.Astheelevatorgrounditswaydown,Jeri wonderedwhyTaihadstoppedatmakingthemlittle.Whyhadn’thejustkilled them?Atthispointshewouldwelcomedeathifonlytoendthenightmare.
Whenthedooropened,shegaspedtoseeHoweandRaunbythedoors.
Theystaredattheguardsandtheirlittlechargesinsurprise.Thentheystood aside.“Raun,helpme!It’sme,Sheri!”
AsJeriexpected,Raunshowednosignofrecognition.“Sorry,folks, nothingtoseehere,”aguardsaid.Theyhustledthethreechildrenoutofthe elevator.JerilookedoverhershouldertoseeRaunandHoweboardthe elevator.Theychuckledaboutsomething,probablyattheexpenseofthelittle urchins.
Theguardstossedthemoutthedoorlikesomuchtrash.Jerilandedhardon herknees.Shetriedvaliantlynottocry,butfailedasthepainwelledup.“IfI seeyougirlsaroundhereagain,you’llendupinanorphanage.You understand?”
“Yeth,thir,”Jerimumbledthroughherpain.
“Good,nowgetlost.”
Jeriforcedherselftogettoherfeet.Shedustedherselfoff,andthenled SheriandTeriawayfromthebuildingandtheiroldlives.
Anewnightmarewasjustbeginningforthem.
Chapter12
Overthelastfewweeks,Jerihaddevelopedanewmorningroutine.She awoketosunlightonherface,accompaniedbythescreechofgulls.Thiswas followedsoonafterbyarumbleinherstomach.Withagroan,shereachedinto thepocketofherapronforherglasses.
Onlythendidsheopenthedoortotheovenandstickherheadout.It wasn’tgarbageday,butsometimespeoplestoppedbythedumptoscavengeor todropitemsoff.Othertimespeoplehadspecialloadsoftrashtheyneededto dropoff.Whenshewassuretherewasnoonearound,Jericlimbedoutofthe oven.
Asshestretchedout,sheabsentlyscratchedatherwildhair.Liceandfleas hadquicklybecomeapartoflifeasanurchin;shebarelynoticedthem anymore.Shehadalsogivenupontyingherhairbackorlookingatherselfin anyoftheshinyobjectsinhernewhome.
Shewanderedovertoanotherpileoftrash,whereanoldrefrigeratorlayon itsside.Shetappedonthedoortothefridgeandthenwaited.Amassofblack hairpoppedout,onlyhalfofoneeyevisible.“Whatdoyouwant?”Sheri snapped.
“It’smorning.”
“Fine.”
JeristoodbacktowaitwhileSheriwokehersister.Thefridgewasoldand rustyenoughthatithadholesinitssidestoallowenoughairforthetwinsto breathecomfortablyduringthenight.TheyhadinitiallytriedtosqueezeJeriin aswell,butitwastoouncomfortable,soshehadmovedtotheoven.Whilethat gaveJeriamodicumoffreedom,itmadehernightsmoreterrifying.Atleast SheriandTerihadeachotherwhileshehadtocurlupbyherself.Itmadeher wishforherkitty,butshewascertainBenehadanewownernow.
“Getup,stupid!”Sheriroared.
“Idon’twanna,”Teriwhined.
“Thenyouwon’tgettoeat.”
ThispromptedTeritoclimboutoftherefrigerator,thoughsheneededher sister’shelptodoso.Teri’sfacewasaspalewhiteastherefrigeratorhadonce been.Hercheeksandeyesweremoresunkenthanhersister’sorJeri’sandher clotheshungevenmoreloosely.Sheseemedtohavesufferedmorethananyof themfromtheirnewdietofscrapsandmustywater.
“Maybesheshouldstayhere,”Jerisaid.“Wecanbringhersomefood.”
“No.Shehastoworkforherfoodjustlikeus,”Sherisaid.Sheswattedthe
backofhersister’shead.“Getmoving,dummy.”
Whileshesaidmeanthings,SheriwaskindenoughtoletTerileanagainst herlikeacrutchastheywalked.Jeritooktheleadtoscoutaheadofthemfor anytrouble.Assix-year-oldurchins,therewasalotoftroubletobefound.
Therewerepolicewhowouldturnthemovertoanorphanage.Therewerethe regulargrown-upswhowouldturnthemovertothepolice.Therewerealso othergrown-upswhoinsteadoftakingthemtothepolicewoulddootherterrible thingstothem.Andthentherewereolderkidswhowouldjustbeatthemupfor sport.
Jerimadeittothefencewithoutincident.Therewasacustodianatthe frontentrance,buthespentmostofhistimesmoking,readingmagazines,and listeningtotheradio.Henevernoticedtheloosesectionofthefencejustbig enoughforascrawnylittlegirltofitthrough.Jeriscurriedthrough,carefulnot toletanyofherraggeddresscatchonit,andthenwaitedforthetwins.
Sherislidthroughtheopeningwithoutaproblem.Shekneltdownwhile JeriheldthefenceopensotheycouldpullTerithrough.Thelittlegirllooked readytocollapse,but
shestubbornlygottoherfeetwiththehelpofhersister.
Thencameaquickscurryawayfromthedump,throughthetrainyards.
Thesecouldbeespeciallydeadlywiththehoboswhoclaimedsomeoftherusted boxcarsastheirterritory.Butinthemorningmostofthosehobosweresleeping offtheirhangovers,whichmadeiteasyforthegirlstowindtheirwayalongthe boxcars,totherearofthetrainstation.
SinceJeriwasunencumberedbyasister,shescoutedaheadasshehadin thedumptomakesurethewaywasclear.Hertummyrumbledtheclosershe gottothestationashernosepickeduptheodoroffood.Despiteherhunger,she forcedherselfnottogetcareless.Herbonylittlebodyhadnohopetoescape fromanygrown-upwhocollaredher.
Whenshewascertainnoonewasaround,shehurriedovertothegarbage can.Jerididn’thaveawatch,butshehaddonethisoftenenoughoverthelast fewweekstoknowwhenthekitcheninthestationthrewoutitsoldfood.She clawedthroughbitsofgreasypaperandburnedcoffeegroundstofindstalerolls andbread.
Todaytherewasaspecialtreat:cinnamonrolls.Theywereashardas rocksandlitteredwithhairandcoffeegrounds,butJerinolongercaredabout suchthings.Foodwasfood.Sheheldupheraprontouseitasamakeshiftbag toshovelthefoodinto.ShewasstillgrabbingwhenSheripushedherback.
“Youprobablytookeverythinggoodforyourselfalready,”Sherigrumbled.
Sheglaredathersister.“Thanksalot.”
“I’msorry,”Teriwhispered.
“Itoldyoutoleaveherbehind,”Jerisaid.“It’syourownfault.”
ShestuckouthertongueatSheriandthenwentovertoTeri.Shestuffeda cinnamonrollandafewbunsintoTeri’spockets.Thenshetousledthegirl’s shaggybrownhair.“It’sgoingtobeallright.”
“Don’tcoddleher,”Sherisnapped.“She’sgottopullherownweight.”
“She’ssick.”
“We’reallsick.Thankstoyou.”
Jeriletthisremarkslide.Shedidn’twanttostartascreamingmatchthat woulddrawattentiontothem.ShewaiteduntilSherihadfinishedher scavengingandtheyhadsetouttofindwaterbeforeshesaid,“Itwasn’tmy fault.Ididn’tdoanything.”
