by Eric Filler
“Whoareyou?”
“It’sme,Kari.Don’tyouremember?”
“No.”
“Oh.”Karitookastepback.SheremindedherselfKriseewasanillusion createdbytheStoneofChange;hermemorieswereonlythoseitgaveher.Kari suckeduphercourageandthenasked,“What’swrong?Areyouhurt?”
“No.”WhenKriseelookedup,hereyeswerethesameasKari remembered.“Ihatethisplace!Ihatecookingandsewingandcleaning.I don’twannabeahousewife!”
“That’sallright.Youdon’thavetobe.”
“Nuh-uh.MissSundresayswehaveto.It’snotfair.”
“No,it’snot.”Kariclearedherthroat.“Howoldareyou?”
“Six—andahalf.”
“Well,thenyou’vegotalongtimeuntilyou’reoldenoughtogetmarried.”
“That’strue.”
KariheldoutahandforKriseetotake.“Let’sgobacktoclassbeforeMiss Sundregetsmadatusforbeinggonetoolong.”
“Allright.”Kriseewipedathertears.Shehoppedoffthetoiletandto Kari’ssurprise,sheslammedintoKaritohugher.Karinearlytoppledoverbut thenrecoveredtohugKriseeback.ShenotedKriseewasabouttencentimeters shorterthanhernowandherarmswerefarscrawnier.
Itseemedthetableshadturned.
***
Theysattogetheratlunch.Kriseenibbledhertunafishsandwich,in anotherglummoodafterMissSundrehadcriticizedherattempttodarnasock.
“Sewingisstupid,”Kriseesaid.“Whyfixastupidsockwhenyoucanjustget anotherone?”
“Idon’tknow.Maybeifyou’repooryoucan’tgobuyanewone.”
“Butwe’resupposedtomarryrichhusbands,aren’twe?”
Karismiledatthis.Kriseecaughtonfast.“That’sverytrue.”
“WellifImarryarichman,I’mgoingtomakehimhiremeamaidanda cookandagardener.”
“That’sagoodidea.”
Kriseeslurpedathersoupandthen,withasmallchild’sinnocence,asked,
“DoyouthinkI’mpretty?”
“Ofcourseyouare.You’reevenprettierthanme.”
“Nuh-uh.”
“Youare.Youdon’thavethesestupidglassesandyourhairisniceand straight.”
“IwishIhadcurlyhairlikeyours.It’sreallypretty.”
Kari’scheeksturnedwarm.Noonehadeverthoughtofherasprettywhen shewasalittlegirl;shehadalwaysbeenchubbyorplain.Sheself-consciously pattedoneofherpigtails.“Thankyou.”
“Doyouthinkarichmanwillwanttomarryme?”
“I’mpositive.Noonewillbeabletoresistagirlascuteasyou.You’ll haveeverywoman—Imeanman—droolingatyourfeet.”
Kriseegiggled.“You’resilly.”
“IguessIam.”
MissSundrecamebytheirtabletoscoldthemtoeattheirfood.“Yougirls areallskinandbones,”shelamented.
Karistruggledtoholdbackalaughassherememberedhowfatshe’dbeen thelasttimeshewashere.“Yes,MissSundre.”
Theyhadtoseparatetogobacktotheirclassrooms.Kriseesurprisedher withanotherhugbeforesheskippedoffafterherclassmates.Kariknewitwas sillytogetexcitedaboutaplatonichug,butsheknewsomewhereinside,Krisee stilllovedherthewaytheyhadbefore.Nomatterhowyoungthestonemade them,someechooftheirlovewouldalwaysremain—orsoshehoped.
Withasighsheturnedtothecookbookatherstation.
***
Karifeltsomeoneshakehershoulder.Sherolledoverandscrambledto findherglasses.Someoneshovedthemintoherhand.Sheassumeditwouldbe MissSundretocomplainshewassleepingin,butitwasKrisee.Thelittlegirl’s liptrembledasifshewereabouttocry.
“What’swrong?”Kariasked.
“Ihadabaddream.CanIsleepwithyou?”
“Um—”
“Please?”
Karistaredattheyoungergirlforamoment.Therewasnowayshecould resistthepleadinginKrisee’seyesorhertremblinglipthatgavehersucha hangdogexpression.Sheslidovertotheedgeofhercotandthenpattedthe emptyspot.“Hopon.”
Kriseesnuggledinbesideher.Insteadofahug,shesurprisedKariwitha kissonthecheek.“Tankyou,”shesaidbrightly.
“You’rewelcome,”Karisaid.Shewasn’tsurewhatshewassupposedto donow.SheandKriseeweremuchtooyoungtogetuptoanything.Hercheeks
warmedwithembarrassmentasthisthoughtranthroughhermind.Theywere justchildrennow;theywerepracticallysistersatthispoint.Shesighedto herself.That’showsheshouldthinkofKrisee,asherlittlesister.
Kriseeburrowedclosertoher.SheranahandthroughKari’skinkyhair.
“It’sevenprettierwhenit’sloose.”
“Thanks.”
“IfIaskedMissSundre,doyouthinkshe’dcurlmyhairlikeyours?”
“Idoubtit,”Kariadmitted.MissSundrewasnotveryopen-mindedwhenit cametohaircare;shemadeeachgirlcombherhaironehundredtimesa morning.
“That’stoobad.”AfewminuteswentbywithonlythesoundofKrisee’s softbreathing.Kariassumedshe’dgonetosleepuntilshesaid,“Whenwegrow up,doyouthinkwecangetmarried?”
“I’mafraidnot.”
“Whynot?You’resonice.Muchnicerthananyonehere.”
“You’renicetoo,butwe’rebothgirls.Youcanonlymarryaboy.”
“Butboysaregross.”
“Theycertainlyare,”Karisaidwithagiggle.ShetousledKrisee’sstraight hair.“Comeon,we’dbettergetsomesleep.”
“Allright.”Kriseeyawnedtheatricallyandthenmumbled,“Iloveyou.”
“Iloveyoutoo,”Karisaid.AftershewassureKriseehadgonetosleep, shebegantocryatthethoughtthissix-year-oldversionofherformerlover couldsaythosewordssoeasilywhiletheolderKriseecouldnot.Thisshe supposedwasthestone’snewestwaytokeeptheirlovetantalizinglyclose.She didn’tcare;anyversionofKriseewasbetterthannoneatall,betterthanthat voidoflonelinessshe’dbeenmiredinforoverayear.
ShepressedhercheektoKrisee’sandsoonfellasleep.
***
Itwasmuchmoredifficultforthemtospendtimetogetherintheboarding school.Thesecuritywasfartootightforthemtoskipclasslikeinmiddle school.Theonlytimestheycouldseeeachotherwereatmealsandinthenight.
KriseebecameanightlyvisitortoKari’sbed.Theyneverdidmorethan snuggletogether,butforKariitwasbetterthannothing.Atleasttheywere togetherinsomefashion;atleastshecouldfeelsomeofthewarmthoftheir formerpassion.Itmightonlybeanechoofwhattheyhadsharedinthestrip club,butitwasenoughforher.
Likelasttime,Karihadnotroublewithherclassesintheschool.Sheknew howtocook,sew,andcleanwellenoughtomeetMissSundre’sapproval.Itwas Kriseewhocontinuedtostruggle.ThiscameasnosurprisetoKariasKrisee’s
naturewasn’tatallsuitedtohouseworkofanysort.Shewasfartoofieryand independentforthat.
Karitriedtotutorherwhenevertheyhadtimetogether,butitstilldidn’t help.Aftertwoweeks,Kariwenttotheirusualtableforlunchtofindadifferent girlsittingthere.Shewasachubbygirlwithlightbrownhairtohershoulders andthickglasses;shelookedexactlyasKarihadwhenshehadlastbeeninthis school.
Thegirlmumbled,“Hi,Kari.”
ItwasonlythenKarirealizedthisgirlwasKriseenow.Shesatnextto Kriseeandputanarmaroundherwidershoulders.“Krisee?Whathappened?”
“Theysentmetotheprincipal’soffice.HesaidunlessIdobetter,they’re goingtosendmeaway.”Krisee’schubbycheeksturnedredasshebegantocry.
“Idon’twannago!”
“You’renotgoingtogo.Ipromise,”Karisaid.SheletKriseecryonher shoulderforalongtime,untilhertearspeteredouttodrysobs.Thensherubbed Krisee’sbackandsaid,“It’sgoingtobeallright.”
“I’msouglynow,”Kriseewhined.“Youmusthateme.”
“No.Icouldneverhateyou.”Toprovethis,shekissedKriseeonthe cheek.“Comeon,finishyourlunchbeforeMissSundreyellsatyou.”
Itwastoolateforthat.MissSundretookKriseebytheearandhauledher upright.KriseehowledinpainandKarileapedtoherfeet.“Whatareyoudoing toher?”
“Thatisnotyourconcern,younglady.Sitdownthisinstant.”
“No.She’smyfriend.Iwon’tletyouhurther.”
“Onemoreoutburst,younglady,andyou’regoingtotheprincipal’soffice.”
Karihadsomechoicewordsonhertongue,butKriseeinterjected,“It’sall right.I’llbefine.”SheallowedMissSundretoleadherawayintothekitchen.
ThatnightwhenKriseecametoKari’sbed,shesmelledterrible,likerotten garbage.Despitethis,KarislidovertoletKriseeontothebed.Thecot squeakeddangerouslyfromKrisee’snewfoundchubbiness,butitheld.Kari forcedherselftoignorethesmellandleanclosetoKrisee.“Whathappenedthis afternoon?”
“Shetookmetothekitchensandmademetakeoutthegarbage.”
“Ohdear.”Thatatleastexplainedthesmell.
“It’sbetterthansewing,”Kriseesaidandgrinned.
“I’llbetitis.”Karigiggledandthenkissedherfriendgoodnightonthe cheek.Theyfellasleepineachother’sarmslikealways.
***
ThemomentKarihadbeendreadingcameaweeklater.Kriseewasnotat
lunch.KariwaitedfortwentyminutesattheirtablewithoutKriseeshowing.
Thatmorningatbreakfast,Kriseehadbeenmoredowncastthanusual.“Miss Sundregotmadatmeyesterday.Iaccidentallybrokeoneofthegarbagebags.I triedtotellheritwasn’tmyfault.Thestupidthinggotcaughtonarock.”
Somethingmusthavehappenedthismorningtoexacerbatethesituation.
KaristaredatherfoodwithoutinterestuntilsheheardMissSundre’svoice.
Thensheleapedtoherfeet.Shestompeduptotheolderwoman,summoning everybitofhercouragetolookupatthewomanwhowasahalf-metertaller thanher.“Whereisshe?”
“Younglady—”
“Where’sKrisee?Whatdidyoudotoher?”
“Thatisenough,younglady.Ifyoudon’tbehavethisinstant—”
“Goaheadandtakemetotheprincipal,youoldbat!Makemedisappear likeyoumadeherdisappear!”
Withlightningspeed,MissSundreseizedKari’sear.ShedraggedKariout oftheroom.Karididn’tevenbothertoputupafight;sheknewitwoulddono good.IfshemanagedtoescapeMissSundre’sgrasp,asecurityguardwouldnab her.
MissSundreshovedherroughlyintotheprincipal’soffice.Kariwasn’t surprisedtoseeTaiLecaubehindthedesk,despitethathehaddiedoverayear ago.Hehadthesamesmuggrinasalwayswhenhelookeddownather.“What troublehaveyougotinto,younglady?”
“Iwanttoknowwhatyoudidwithmyfriend!Where’sKrisee?”
“Krisee?Idon’tknowanygirlbythatnamehere.”
“She’snotherenow.Youmadeherdisappear,youpoopyhead!”
MissSundregasped.Karithoughtforamomenttheoldwomanmight faint.“Younglady,thatisnothowyouspeaktoyourelders.”
“Idon’tcare!”Kariscreamed.Shestampedherfootandshouted,“Iwant Kriseeback!Whatdidyoudotoher?”
Taicluckedhistongueather.“Thiskindoftantrumisnotbecomingfora girlyourage.Isupposeyou’rejustnotmatureenoughyettohandlebiggirl’s school.”
Kari’sheadspunagain.ShedroppedtoherkneesatTai’sfeet.Hissmug grincontinuedtowhirlaroundherevenastheroomgrewlarger.Shewailed withfury,knowingnowshewouldneverseeKriseeagain.
Asherheadstoppedspinning,shefoundherselfsittingonsomethingsoft.
Ithadtheroughfabrictextureandsponginessofagymmat.Sheblinkedher eyesafewtimesandsawitwasagymmat.Thewholefloorwaslinedwith them.Thiswastoprotectthetoddlerswhocaperedaroundtheroomintheir
sailorsuitsastheyplayedwithdolliesorinplayhouses.
Karilookeddownatherselftoseeshewascladinasailorsuitlikethe others,itstopwhiteandskirtdarkgreen.Atressofstraightcopperhairswept overeithershouldertodrapetoherwaist.Sheputapudgyhandtoherfacebut didn’tfeelanyglasses.
Shewasbackinpreschoolnow.Shewasatoddlernow,justfouryearsold.
Toverifythis,shegotunsteadilytoherfeetandsetoutacrosstheroom.There wasatoyvanityagainstonewallwithplasticlipsticks,eyeliners,andblushes.
Themirrorwasrealenough.Initsshinysurface,Karisawtheinnocentfaceofa toddler,atoddlertoosmallandhelplesstoeverfindKriseeagain.
Inthemirror,hercheeksturnedred.Herlipbegantotremble.Thenthe tearsstartedtoflow.Awailfinallyescapedherlips.Shebawleduntilagrown upkneltdowninfrontofher.ItwasNannyJene,hercaretakerfromthelast timeshe’dbeeninpreschool.
NannyJeneswipedhairbackfromKari’sfaceandasked,“What’swrong, sweetie?Doyouneedtopotty?”
“IwantKwisee!”Karishouted.
“Oh,Isee,”NannyJenesaid.ShesmiledindulgentlyandthensweptKari upinherarms.“Comeon,let’sseeifwecanfindher.”
“Youmeanit?Youcanfindher?”
“Ithinkso.”NannyJenecarriedherbacktowhereshehadstartedfrom.
ShesetKaridownonthefloorandthenreachedoverforsomething.“Why,here sheisrightnow.”
ForamomentKari’spulseraced.Freshtearsquicklycametoherfaceas shesawNannyJeneheldnotKriseebutadolly.Thedollyhadlightbrownhair likeKrisee’shadbeen,onlyboundinpigtailsnow.Herplasticfacehadababy’s chubbiness,butitsglossybrowneyeswerethoseofherformerlover.
NannyJenepressedthedollyintoKari’schest.ShepattedKari’sheadand said,“There’syourKrisee.Rightwhereyoulefther.”
“ThisnotKwisee.Kwiseeaweawgirw!”
“I’msuresheis.”NannyJenetousledKari’shair.“Youtwogoonand play.”
“But—”NannyJenewalkedawaybeforeKaricouldfinishthesentence.
Shesankdownonthespongyfloorandpressedthedollintoahug.
“Iwuvyou,”thedollysaidinKrisee’svoice.
“Iwuvyoutoo,”Kariwhispered.Thenshecurleduponthefloortosob.
Chapter18
Thebathhousewasstilloperational.ThisseemedoddtoJeriatfirst,but thenshesupposedsincethiswasinsideadormantvolcano,therewasnoreason thewatershouldn’tstillbehot.Thatthebuildingswerestillinsuchpristine conditionshechalkeduptotheirlocationinsidethemountainandthe primitivenessoftheShadansbeforeshehadarrived.
Thoughsheknewtherewasnooneelseinthebathhouse,Jerilooked aroundtomakesureshewasalonebeforeshetookoffherclothes.Shenearly gaggedtoseehowpaleandslightherbodywas.Shehatedtobesoplain.Tai hadmadeherlikethisbackonPhera.Hehadtrickedherintothinkinghewasin lovewithher.Onthenightofaboy-girldanceinhighschool,hesurprisedher byshowingupasanequallygeekyteen.Laterhe’dbeenbrutallymurderedin frontofher—byhimselfasitturnedout.Theboyshe’dlovedhadonlybeena shadowdesignedtobreakherspirit.Andithad.
Taiwasgonenow,buthereshewasbackinthisgeekybody.Onlynowshe wasstrandedonanalienworldinaweird,emptycity.Shepiledupherclothes onastoneshelfandthenenteredoneoftherectangularcommunalpoolsthat couldprobablyhol
dahundredpeoplebutnowonlyheldher.
Therewereshelvesalongtheedgesofthepoolstoallowhertositdown.
Shesighedandclosedhereyes.Thiswasevenbetterthanthespashe’d designedforherselfinheryearasthequeenofShada.Whatawonderfultime thathadbeen.She’dhadservantstotendtohereveryneedandeveryoneand everythingaroundherwasbeautiful—thoughneverasbeautifulasher.
Ahandshookhershoulder.Agruffvoicesaid,“You’renotsupposedtobe here.”
“Idon’tcare,”Jerisnapped.
“I’mafraidyou’llhavetocomewithme,younglady.”
Jerifinallyopenedhereyes.Shesawayoungblondwomaninatight-fittingblackuniform.Therewasasilverbadgeontheshoulderthatidentified thewomanasbelongingtotheRoyalBeautificationSociety,thesecretpolice forceJerihadstartedtorootoutanyuglinessonShada.
“Areyouarrestingme?”sheaskedincredulously.
“YouareJeriPoldar,aren’tyou?”
“Yes—”
“Wehaveawarrantforyourdetainment,MissPoldar.Yourmotherhas alreadybeencontacted.Ifyou’llcomewithme—”
“No!I’mnotgoinganywhere.Youcan’tarrest meforbeingugly.I’mthe
queen!”
Theblondwomangrinnedatthis.“Look,kid,wecandothistheeasyway orthefunway.”Thewomanmotionedtothestunbatononherhip.Onejolt fromthatwouldincapacitateJeriforhours.Ifusedinthepool,itwould probablyelectrocuteher.
“IsupposeIbettergowithyouthen,”Jerimurmured.
Itwasasshewashelpedoutofthepoolthatshenotedthebathhousehad filledwithpeople.Mostofthemwereblondliketheofficerwithgolden-brown skinandtrimphysiques.Theycouldallhavepassedasherchildren,atleast beforeshewasturnedbackintoageek.Alltheseperfectpeoplegapedasshe, theuglyone,thefreak,wasdraggedouttoawaitingblackcar.
Shehopedhermotherwouldbeinthecar.WhenJerihadbeenageek before,hermotherhadbeenawitheredcrone,butthatwouldbepreferableto facingthisalone.Thefirsttimeshehadbeenfifteen,Jerihadbeenprettyand popular,thoughstilladisappointmenttoMotherbecauseshehadlittleinterestin settlingdowntooverseethefamilyfortune.Wouldeitherversionofhermother comfortherandstanduptotheBeautificationSociety?
