After a quick glance at the younger man, she sighed and waited for the nasty sounds to abate. The man paced, and she noted the concern on his face. “I’ve heard this happens every day. By the way, I’m Sarah.”
“I ken who you are. I am Elspeth’s personal guard, Gordain, and aye,” he mumbled. “For weeks she has been ill at daybreak.”
“Hopefully she gets her nerves under control once the wedding is over.” It seemed like an appropriate comment for small talk to cover the retching.
Gordain’s jaw clenched and he didn’t reply. Attempting again to engage him, she asked, “What exactly are you guarding her from?” It seemed odd to her that anyone behind massive stone walls needed a personal watchdog. Shaking her head at her own need for Bella, who waited patiently by her side.
Gordain stopped his pacing and stared at her with narrowed eyes, his distrust obvious in his glare. He seemed to ponder his response before stepping closer to her. “You are new here and Elspeth spoke highly of you last eve.” The compliment came with a begrudging sneer as if he didn’t share the sentiment. “My task is to make certain she does nay attempt to flee.”
“Oh,” Sarah replied, not certain how big a risk a runaway bride could be, given the walls and gate. “Would she?”
Defeat came from Gordain. “Nay. She kens her duty and would never dishonor her clan even if . . .” His sentence faded without completion.
Doing what she had done in therapy sessions, she finished the statement based on instinct. “Even if this isn’t what she wants.”
“Aye,” he admitted, but Sarah knew there was more to it even if he didn’t say it out loud. His face revealed more than his measured reply.
“You don’t approve.” There was no challenge issued, just her attempt to confirm hunches.
Instead of speaking, he snorted and resumed pacing. Keeping her eyes on the man, she flinched at a too-loud-to-ignore sound from behind the door. Gordain’s face paled and his hands clenched into fists at his side.
“Has anyone brought her anything to settle her stomach?” Given that Lena had a ready supply of whatever had been placed on her wound at hand, she assumed there must be something to handle nausea.
“Nay, the whole cursed lot of them ignores her suffering.” Gordain growled into the corridor.
“Have you asked?” The simplistic question had surprise lighting his face, along with a guilty turn of his head.
“Nay,” he admitted. “Though I would trust naught brought to her.”
“Given that everyone seems to realize the importance of having Elspeth present for the wedding, I doubt anyone would do anything to jeopardize her health.”
She could read doubt in his eyes and realized why. “You care about her, don’t you?” Instantly, his body language stiffened and his face became unreadable. She had her answer. He cared and didn’t want to admit it.
“Then be a good friend and go ask someone in the kitchen for Lena. Maybe she has something that might help. You do realize that sometimes you have to ask, not just sit idly by and wait for life to happen.” Good advice she should have taken to heart for her own life, rather than only parceling out.
“I will nay leave her alone.”
“You won’t. I’ll stay and take care of her until you get back. I’d go ask for something, but I doubt you trust me either.” She knew she’d nailed it when he nodded.
Gordain spoke to the door about fetching a remedy from the kitchen and promised a quick return. Feminine mumbles could be heard, but nothing intelligible.
“Swear to me to attend her,” Gordain demanded.
“You have my word.” Sarah motioned for him to leave and sighed in relief when he strode away from her.
“Well done,” came a voice from behind her.
Sarah turned around to face Peter and his overly pleased grin. “I’m doing this to help someone in need, not you and your grand plans for local domination.”
Peter buried his face in his arm to smother his laughter. Speaking quietly, he questioned, “Is that what you think of me? You could not be farther from the truth. I’m trying to keep this place running. The man who should be doing it is going off to war, again. His brother is too busy lifting skirts to learn the job and there is also a wedding to see done to avoid conflict with the country’s king.”
When she remained silent, he continued. “This place is in chaos right now and I seem to be left putting it back together. My only intention was to offer Elspeth a friendly face. As for you, you need one too. I have two new women, neither of whom wants to be here, and I thought being together would help both of you.” Peter held up his hands to prevent her from speaking. “Yes, I said that I needed her cooperation, but it’s for her own good. She’s stuck here, like you.”
Sarah sighed and wondered if she had truly misjudged his intent. “I’m not quite sure what to do with you.”
“That goes both ways. You are a complication for the marriage. Conall is fixated on you. Maybe because of you or maybe due to the fact he always loved the legends of people from our time. I don’t know for certain. But I do know that he has to marry Elspeth or we face trouble with the Bruce. I don’t need trouble. So, the choice is yours. Do you want to build a life or undermine what has to happen?”
“I want to go home.” The reply came out on a shaky breath. “I don’t understand this place, the conflicts, or why in the hell I’m here.”
Peter softened and took one of her hands in his. “I know exactly how you feel. Been there myself. Yesterday I shared too much with you too quickly. I should have taken more into account that you lost the life you knew. I’m sorry.”
She squeezed the hand that held hers. “Thank you.”
His hazel eyes searched her face. “It gets better. You probably still need some sleep. I checked your room first and saw the mangled bedding. Rough night?”
“That’s an understatement.”
“Do you want me to take over here?” he asked as another nasty sound echoed from behind the door.
“No, I promised, and she seems to like me.”
“Yes, she does. You stood up for her and that meant a great deal to her. You did right in sending Gordain for something to help her. I should have done it weeks ago, but I was too busy lamenting the situation.”
Sarah dropped his hand and glanced back at the door. “So, no one has done anything to help her?”
“I’m embarrassed to admit no. We’ve all treated her as necessary baggage rather than a person. I’ll have a talk with Lena this morning about correcting that mistake.” Peter appeared as guilty as he sounded.
“That will help. I’ll stay with her until Gordain returns. Then maybe I can nap.” Exhaustion mingled with her odd morning and she felt that the day had already lasted too long.
“Good plan.” Peter checked the corridor and turned back to her after seeing no one. “What happened outside with you and Conall?”
Stiffening at the veiled accusation, Sarah felt her face reveal shock. “Are you everywhere?”
“More or less,” he chuckled. “I saw you ride in with him.”
A heavy sigh left her lips. “He took me to where I came in and there wasn’t a way home, not that I really expected one. I don’t know what happened after that. We talked, he, well, I guess you could say he flirted with me but in a way that said he shouldn’t be doing it. I think he knows it’s wrong, but. . .” she stopped not quite certain how to express the conversation.
“Conall’s become a quiet man. As a child he would talk for hours about everything and nothing. War changed him and not necessarily for the better. I think I’ve heard him say more to you than any other person here.” Peter gave her a wink. “Things might have been very different without the arranged marriage, but we’ll never know. I’m sorry about that too.”
“Whatever,” she brushed away the comment as she tried to brush away the indescribable hurt that she would never know if Conall meant what he had said. However, the therapist in her caught the PTSD-laced concerns
of Peter. “War changes people. I would assume he has seen and done things that conflict with his internal views of right and wrong, not to mention a basic moral foundation. Finding balance between the two is complicated for far too many.” She’d done a brief internship at a veterans’ clinic and had quickly decided she preferred her rotation in family therapy.
“Can you help him?” Peter asked.
Sarah laughed without seeing any humor in the situation. “Gee, maybe we can set up a couple’s therapy session.”
Peter held up his hands. “Asking for too much again, sorry. Focus on Elspeth and I’ll handle the big guy.”
Sarah nodded and turned at the sound of a bolt sliding open. In a flash, Peter disappeared. However, Bella immediately greeted the pale young woman wrapped in a robe. “I sent Gordain to find something to settle your stomach. How about I help you back to your room?” she offered while she placed an arm around Elspeth for support.
“My thanks,” Elspeth whispered.
They walked back in silence and entered the room across from Conall’s. Sarah immediately noticed how much grander the room before her seemed with its massive size, luxurious chairs, walls hung with tapestries and an enormous bed. Elspeth plopped down into a chair and groaned.
“I know, you poor thing.” Sarah crooned as she stroked the girl’s damp forehead head and soft long hair.
“You are kind, Sarah. My thanks.”
After several quiet minutes Elspeth rose and poured water into a bowl to rinse her face. Setting the bowl on the floor, she returned to her chair and motioned for Sarah to take the other. Before she had found a comfortable position, Bella walked to the discarded basin and drank.
“I’m sorry, Bella has no manners.” Sarah winced with embarrassment recalling too late the dog needed a drink.
“It matters naught,” Elspeth murmured.
“How are you feeling?” Sarah asked with her gaze locked on the young woman whose coloring had slightly improved.
“It passes.”
“Is it like this every morning?” Sarah caught the grimace made by the younger woman.
“Aye, for weeks now. But soon it shall be over, so my mother claims.” Elspeth spoke with a certainty that surprised her.
“If you were ill before you even left home why didn’t they stop you from leaving?” She couldn’t believe that a concerned mother wouldn’t have put a halt to a sick child traveling.
“All thought it to be my fear of the Draig, so none made more of it.” Elspeth said quietly before her eyes widened. Her posture became more alert. “I mean, I was well enough to ride here.”
Instincts flared to life and Sarah recognized a sign of deflection, the change in vocal tone that spoke of not wanting to admit a hidden truth. “Everyone here thinks the same, that you are too afraid of Conall and it makes you ill daily.” She played along, wondering if more would be revealed. But she wouldn’t push or demand answers; that type of tactic never worked well in a session. When did I start viewing her as a patient?
“I should fear him. I have been raised to fear the Draig. Any lass would quake at the sight of him. He is so large and imposing. The man rarely smiles and ‘tis rough in his speech.” Elspeth’s comments didn’t mesh with her brief contact with Conall. In her mind, he was sweet and almost poetic. Maybe Peter is on to something and he’s different with me.
Sarah nodded and agreed loosely with her. “He is big, I have to agree with you on that. However, I also see a man who has treated you with respect, at least last night.”
Elspeth chuckled. “Aye and I see my good fortune. The night could have been far different. Given that the contract has been decided, last eve I could have been wed to the man.” Her face crinkled in disgust. “Instead, I am left to count the hours until my fate is sealed. I truly dinna ken which would be preferred.”
Thinking over the past few minutes, Sarah asked, “Did your mother approve?”
Elspeth laughed. “You have clearly never met my mother. She would sooner I wed a pig than a Draig.” The young woman shrugged her shoulders. “Forgive me if you are related to the clan.”
“Not related, so no insult taken.”
Elspeth sagged in relief. “My mother hated the thought the instant the missive arrived from my father. She cursed his death saying she would have killed him with her bare hands for trading me to the Draig.”
She heard anger and no inference of mourning a father dead only a few months. “Were you close with your father?”
Elspeth shook her head. “I am a daughter, nay a son to raise to care for the clan. All my life I have kenned I would have my marriage arranged for the sake of the Campbell clan. Though never had I imagined fate would leave me here.” Her hands gestured to the room. “My mother even tried to argue with Tearlach, but he ignored her and then forbade her from accompanying me.”
Blinking rapidly at the idea a son could so harshly command his mother, Sarah asked, “And she put up with that from her son?”
“What choice has she? Tearlach is laird. My mother’s only choice was to cease her complaints or find herself in a nunnery rather than her home.” Elspeth explained it as if it were the most normal of situations. Her eyes turned to Sarah. “Would your mother nay do the same?”
Sarah laughed at the notion anyone would ever tell her mother anything of the sort. The woman was a fifth-degree black belt and carried herself with pride. Her father made requests and treated her mother like a queen. But we’re not dealing with apples to apples, are we? Feminism and equal rights are centuries away. She answered as simply as she could. “My mother never had to face an arranged marriage, so I don’t know what she would have done.” Other than break the messenger in half with her bare hands. Sarah decided only a suicidal fool would have spoken to her mother that way.
“Were your parents married by choice?” Elspeth blushed as she continued. “I assume they are dead, given you being sent to live with your cousin, Peter.”
Reality crashed down upon her shoulders. Sarah realized that for all intents and purposes her parents might as well be dead. The odds seemed like she would never see them again. Real tears crowded her eyes. “They’re gone.”
“I am sorry for your loss. But I envy that you miss them both.” Elspeth offered her a smile and Sarah wiped away the tears that threatened to fall.
“So am I,” she admitted. “But I am also sorry you are being forced into a marriage you don’t want.”
“‘Tis nay the marriage that concerns me, but what happens after.” Elspeth leaned closer. “I ken my role, such has been explained to me. I marry and bed the man. My only purpose is to breed, so mayhap I am the goat after all.” No laughter left after the crack that should have been humorous.
“That’s a harsh description of marriage.” Sarah waited for more to come.
“Aye, ‘tis harsh, but what more awaits? I am expected to bed him whether or nay I wish it. Then all will watch me for signs of breeding.” Elspeth laughed, at what Sarah had no idea. “The household has little need of my skills. Lena handles all. Mayhap Laird Conall will need shirts mended before he leaves, mayhap nay. But he will leave and ‘tis what concerns me.”
Thinking over the comments, she asked, “If you don’t want to marry him, then him leaving frees you in a way.”
Discontent quickly changed to raw anger. “When he leaves, what becomes of me and my child? Should Conall die in battle, then I am a widow at the mercy of the Draig. They could send me away, whether back to my home in disgrace or to live in a convent. Either one would separate me from my child.”
Sarah sat back in her chair and thought before responding. None of her education or counseling experience could have prepared her for the conversation. “Or there is the option that you stay here and live your life.”
“Nonsense,” Elspeth spit back at her. “Then the Draig will likely marry me to another nay of my choosing and my child would remain here.” Instead of continuing, she sat back with a hand over her stomach and took multiple deep breat
hs.
“This conversation is over. Just breathe and relax. I didn’t mean to upset you with my questions.” Sarah rose and waited to see if she would need to follow Elspeth back down the hall.
“It passes,” she whispered.
Bella rose and growled at the door seconds before Gordain opened it. He froze at the noise. “Down, Bella.” Sarah’s quick command had the dog back at her side.
He entered and placed a cup in Elspeth’s hand and hunkered down by the chair. “The woman said it might ease your suffering. You are to take wee sips until all is gone.” Absent was the angry sentry, it his place crouched a young man with concerned eyes. Gordain stared as Elspeth took tiny sips and only relaxed when she smiled at him.
“‘Tis fine. My thanks for fetching it.” Continuing with sips, she eventually set the almost empty cup on a side table.
“Did it help?” Sarah asked, fretting that she had almost caused another round of vomiting.
“Aye, I feel almost grand.” Elspeth grinned at her with a breathtakingly beautiful smile. “In truth, my belly is calm once again.”
“The woman in the kitchen said more could be provided if it aided you. I shall fetch it for you early each morn.” Gordain grinned at Elspeth and Sarah froze at the blatant spark between the pair. Before her were two young adults; neither appeared old enough to provide necessary ID in a bar to be served. But what passed between them could be easily read, the mutual attraction, the raw emotion on their faces in the unguarded moment; they were in love. She’d have bet the bank on it.
Sarah turned away from the pair, her emotions in turmoil over a couple never to be, separated by force and a marriage for peace. The brutality of the age settled on her shoulders with a weight she didn’t know how to carry. This situation is unbearably wrong.
Focusing on Bella, who lounged before the fireplace with its burning logs, she ignored the whispers not meant for her ears. Finally, conversational tones filled the room. Elspeth spoke, “You should be gone.”
“Aye, but I ken nay if I should leave,” Gordain replied and Sarah felt his gaze settle on her.
The Draig's Choice Page 10
