Her hands gripped his shoulders and she attempted to educate him in the how-to. Her lips pulled back enough to feel his gasping breath. She began a slow assault of soft kisses, gentle presses, and brushed whispering touches that blossomed into panting exploration. All the while, Conall let her lead. So much better.
One of his hands left her hair and pressed her spine, encouraging her body to mold against his chest. Her breasts ached and delighted being held against his muscled skin. Sarah’s hips flattened to him and she practically melted in his arms at his blatant arousal firm against her belly. With her body screaming for more, she was elated with his obvious want that mirrored hers.
From what had to be miles away, she heard Bella bark. Go away, dog. Busy now. Exploring the handsome Highlander, no time to play, at least not with you. The dog brushed against her legs and broke the carnal spell. Sarah’s ears caught the sounds of life around them, birds cawing over the sea, the crash of waves against the rocks at the base of the cliffs and the murmurs of voices. She pulled back from Conall, her breathing ragged from hungry kisses mixed with the recollection they weren’t in a private location. Holy crap. I’m kissing him in front of anyone who’s outside the keep. Hope everyone enjoyed me making out with the guy who was supposed to marry someone else until hours ago.
Desire faded with the blanket of shame falling over her shoulders. She knew she shouldn’t be touching him, even if her body sang every time he stepped close, even if it felt beyond right to be in his arms. Even if I’m the only woman who has ever bothered to show him how to kiss to perfection.
Conall’s hands released their tight hold and gently cupped her face, lifting her to hold his gaze that glowed with desire and want. “Sarah,” his lips panted. “I see only you. But I ken that you are my legend.”
Defeat rushed over her. “I’m only me.” Pushing from his arms, she turned and headed for the keep. I don’t want to be a legend. I need to be wanted for who I am even if you make my skin sizzle.
“Sarah,” Conall called after her as Bella stepped alongside her. “Forgive my boldness.”
His phrase made her stop and the uncertainty made her wonder if he felt like he had asked her for too much. Too much about his kiss hinted at innocence, even if that were impossible. She turned her head and smiled, unable to ascertain what type of reassurance he needed, given that she had no clue how to handle what had just happened between them.
Conall’s lips twitched in a grin, allowing the illusion that she could escape, if only temporarily.
Stepping inside the keep, Sarah avoided the hall that filled for the evening meal just as she had avoided eye contact with those lingering outside in the courtyard. Embarrassment heated her cheeks and dripped down her chest. What is wrong with me? I saw that kiss coming a mile away. What type of woman kisses a man with an audience present only hours after his engagement ends? She could only imagine the new notions of her whispered between those who saw the kiss.
Sarah groaned as she trudged up the stairs. She stopped half way up the staircase and her fingers covered her lips that still practically vibrated in delight. And would someone please tell me how he can be so toe-curling hot while being the world’s most inexperienced kisser?
Her attraction to Conall could be viewed as absurdly simple. With his shoulder length raven-dark hair, stunning emerald eyes and a muscular build that should be sculptured in marble to allow for constant adoration, he was beyond handsome. Even the beard became forgivable. But her attraction ran far beyond the blatant physical perfection.
Letting a snort free, she recalled a terrible first kiss in junior high. Jeremy had been as clueless as she had, resulting in her not wanting to kiss another boy until sophomore year. But, come on. Conall is a grown man, a beautiful man. How can he kiss like he’s never done that before? And why in the hell am I so freaking turned on by him? Even after the awkward kiss.
Resuming her climb, her mind refused to release thoughts of Conall. Her face scrunched up as she realized her next mistake. There was a guard outside Elspeth’s door and Conall hadn’t come up to grant her permission to enter. Please universe that has screwed with my life, help me out here. If I go back outside, I’m probably insane enough to test him. Does he remember what I just showed him? Would I even remember to ask for his help? Perhaps I should test him? She inhaled a sharp breath to lose the thought that bordered between the lands of bad idea and intriguing.
Marching up to the guard, who whispered with one of household women, Sarah waited for their private conversation to finish. “I would like to see Elspeth, please.”
The young women gave her a brief curtsy before scampering away. She ignored the oddity given her hope of being able to make the guard believe she belonged wherever she chose to be.
To her relief and shock, he opened the door and gave her a brief nod. “Of course, Sarah.”
Forcing herself not to blink rapidly in shock, she nodded and stepped into the chamber, pulling the door closed behind her after Bella rushed inside. Absently, she regretted not asking for his name, but manners were secondary in her mind.
“Aye, Bella, you should hear of my anger,” Elspeth said to the dog who already had her head resting in the girl’s lap. “But I forgive you kenning you protect Sarah.” Given the sweet vocal tones, there was no reproach or hint of hostility.
Stepping closer to Elspeth’s chair, Sarah said, “Any anger should be directed at me.” The gauntlet had been thrown, which didn’t resemble her methods in therapy.
Elspeth turned her head and inclined it towards her. “Sit and we will talk.”
Taking the chair she had occupied shortly after dawn, Sarah waited with growing apprehension at how the meeting would proceed. Even the chamber mimicked the tension tightening her skin, candlelight wavered in the breeze from the open window that held the last few rays of daylight. The fire crackled in the hearth and each pop made her breath halt.
“I had prayed I would see you before I am sent away,” Elspeth began after she placed her sewing on the table at her side. Her hand stroked Bella’s head and didn’t falter over the scarred skin and fur, a feat few people had accomplished. “I owe you a debt of gratitude never to be repaid.”
Sarah’s mouth opened in shock and hung wide for several seconds before she found a shred of composure. Prepared for yelling, blame or even the perceived victim seeking justice, she had never thought to receive gratitude. “Why are you thanking me?”
To make the encounter more surreal, Elspeth threw her head back and laughed until tears ran down her cheeks. Wiping them away with the backs of her hands, she giggled as Bella’s head squirmed on her lap for more affection. “Aye, sweet dog, I shall pet you.” Elspeth tilted her head. “Do you believe you discovered my secret by accident?”
“Not anymore,” Sarah replied as her hands ran over her face and then back to smooth down her windblown braid made worse by Conall’s fingers. Does he really like my hair? Knock it off and focus on Elspeth. She asked the only question that mattered. “Why give me the clues? You could have insinuated to Lena long before now.”
“Dinna you hear me yell at my brother? All would have been well if I could have made all think my bairn was a Draig heir. Too much time has passed and even the simplest woman in the village can count the moons. When I gave birth to a healthy son during early winter, all would recall my sickness and how much time had passed since the marriage. The danger to my bairn grew to be too great.”
Thinking back to the events in the hall and their early morning conversation, she knew Elspeth was likely correct. But the feeling of being used washed over her. “Did you set me up to do your dirty work?”
Elspeth appeared to ponder before nodding in agreement. “Aye. You arriving and then standing up for me happened as if sent from the heavens.” Her eyes narrowed as Elspeth studied her. “Do you carry guilt?”
“Yes, Elspeth. I have spent most of afternoon feeling horrible for changing your life, for allowing you to be become a spectacle this afternoon a
nd for Gordain being hurt.” Sarah answered with complete sincerity as the certainty of being played settled with harsh weight on her shoulders.
“Gordain will be fine. Evan tells me the wound required few stitches and ‘tis his head that aches the most.” Elspeth rubbed Bella’s head with renewed enthusiasm. “You are a mighty beast. ‘Tis fortunate Gordain bears a thick skull.”
With thoughts of concussions dancing in her mind, another idea struck her. “You should be upset. Even if you loathed the idea of the contractual marriage, the fact you are going to be nothing short of a prisoner in a convent should be worrisome.”
Elspeth raised an eyebrow rather than replying and picked up her sewing. Sarah caught sight of delicate flowers taking shape on the square of linen the size of a handkerchief. “Do you wish to ken all?”
Sarah groaned at the tease, positive that whatever Elspeth said, it would rival her last therapy session that had ended in disaster. “I doubt it, but you should let someone know what you plan.”
“Aye, and you are safe for us.”
“Is the us you and the baby or does it include Gordain?”
“Aye, for there will be three,” Elspeth giggled.
Taking a breath and counting to five, Sarah centered her mind. While not officially a session, the recipe remained for mistakes beyond compare. Youth plus recklessness plus lack of planning equals stupidity.
“Why am I safe?” The question left her lips with confusion dripping from her mouth. Sarah knew she shouldn’t be perceived as a safe place for Elspeth after the day’s events.
“Even if you tell all, I will merely state that you seek what ‘tis no longer mine and to make certain the laird carries only ill-will toward me.” With a hand over her heart, Elspeth let free a dramatic sigh. “As I will depend on his donation to the convent for my comforts, ‘twould be simple to describe you as petty.”
Holding up her hands, Sarah attempted to make sense of the babble. “Why am I now the bad guy? And what do I want that you used to have?”
“All saw you let the laird kiss you. Those who missed the sight will have heard the gossip by now.” When Sarah groaned, Elspeth wrinkled her nose in distaste. “How could you let him touch you?”
Ignoring the girl’s fake retching noises, Sarah realized why the guard let her in. Sure, let’s all be nice to Conall’s. . . what does that make me? Girlfriend or something far worse? “It was a kiss, hardly scandalous.”
Elspeth straightened in her chair and lost her playful edge. “You kissed the laird before the whole of the clan, nay in a dark corridor. Do you ken that the courtship has begun and likely ended? You are kin to his right hand, nay some servant. I would imagine Peter is demanding your marriage lest your reputation be ruined.”
“Are you serious?” But it was just a kiss.
“Aye, Sarah. All ken Conall’s need to marry to appease the Bruce.”
Sitting back, actually falling into the back of the chair, Sarah closed her eyes and attempted to make sense of Elspeth’s seemingly rational observations. Deciding to not focus on what had begun as a lousy kiss, which did become so much better and with the concept that it may be morphing into the land of epic mistake, she turned the table back on the original conversation. “Enough about me. What are you planning?”
Elspeth sighed and resumed her needlework, finishing a bright leaf along the vine. “I shall be obedient and enter the convent. Gordain will be sent to the Bruce’s army and he shall also be obedient. Mayhap he will leave the army at his first opportunity. All roads lead north. Mayhap he will take the one that leads to me.”
Disgusted by the lack of planning, Sarah stopped the game. “Do you have any idea where you two will go once he finds you? How will you pay for a home, food and the basics your baby will need? What you are planning is beyond dangerous, for all of you. How did you even dream up this insanity?”
Elspeth shrugged. “Mayhap Gordain regained his wits while I draped over him and Tearlach and Conall bellowed at each other. He told me to wait for him and that he will come for me.”
Sarah envisioned the potential cruel realities waiting for the pair of unrealistic fools and forced her emotions aside. Digging into her proverbial toolbox, she mentally prepared for a long night’s session designed to save one young woman from making the mistake of a lifetime.
Chapter 12
Failure burned a hole in her stomach as Sarah paced her chamber in the dark night. The soft rain falling outside her window only added to her gloom. For hours she had tried to make Elspeth see and hear reason, to no avail. While the girl walked the mental trails of what could go wrong and had agreed with each nasty possibility, the idiotic plan remained in place.
How is it even possible to suck so badly at what I do? I’ve studied and trained for years to help but have failed the two women who needed me most. The first is walking away from family and her education and the second is willing to leave a safe haven to literally have a baby in the woods in the middle of winter. Maybe I should be grateful to be stuck here and unable to practice?
Bella snored from her pile of furs near the fireplace. The crackle of wood burning echoing of lives shattered in her troubled thoughts. One concrete thought occurred to her. What Elspeth needs is some financial security; a means to buy or rent a safe place for her and Gordain to live. Or I need to start praying that they fail to reunite. The potential of the situation refused to leave her mind and Sarah decided she needed to act despite the late hour.
The door opened without a sound and Bella lifted her head. “Stay, girl.” Without a glance back, she heard the sounds of the dog settling back into the warmth. But in case the dog preferred to follow, she left the door open a crack.
Moving down two doors in the corridor, there was no answer at Peter’s door. Crap. He must still be with Gordain. Turning back, she went to her only other option and knocked. Before the second rap, the door opened.
“What ‘tis amiss?” Conall asked as he opened his door. His gaze left hers and landed on the guard, whose name Sarah still didn’t know, who slept soundly in the chair at his post. His lapse allowed her eyes to wander the shirtless wonder before her. As before, he opened the door wearing only leather pants. How in the hell am I supposed to concentrate on problem solving with this masterpiece of masculinity? On the bright side, all that tanned muscled flesh makes Elspeth so not as momentous. So yummy and so distracting. But all those scars? Maybe I should just offer to kiss his boo-boos.
“What ails you?” Conall asked, pulling her out of late night delusions of licking him until no other thought remained.
“I’m sorry to wake you but I need to talk to you. I don’t know how to fix this, not here.” Knowing the sentence made no sense, she waited to see what type of clarification he wanted and then wondered if she could even verbalize a coherent thought while standing next to the half-naked man.
Her gaze soaked in every inch of his sculpted physique and stuck on the tattoo beginning at his shoulder, winding down his powerful arm to end above his wrist. She’d seen the symbol, a dragon of sorts. A head came to life on the shoulder she had gripped during their kiss and wrapped down and around to end with another head on his wrist.
Instead of speaking, he fully opened the door and motioned for her to come inside. Dimly aware that if anyone saw her, the rumor mill would be in overdrive, she decided she didn’t care. Stepping into the space that smelled of wood burning and the intoxicating scent of Conall, she hesitated before speaking. Focus on the wall behind him. Sexy, sleepy eyes are too much to handle. His tousled hair could use some fingers to straighten it. Enough! Staring at the wall behind him, her gaze attempted not to focus on the massive bed behind him.
“You have no need to speak. I should be begging your forgiveness,” Conall began.
“What?”
“I took too much from you and bear only regret that it kept you from joining me at the evening meal. Please forgive me.” Conall reached out and almost touched her face before his hand fell back to his s
ide.
“I don’t know what we are talking about. But it doesn’t matter. I need your help with Elspeth.” Sarah forced her gaze to his and couldn’t fathom the regret written in his eyes.
Conall’s lips turned down. “She matters naught to me if that ‘tis what concerns you. I swear, Sarah, never would I have kissed you if I were forced to marry another.”
Oh, this is about the kiss. “It’s fine. You don’t need to apologize.” In an instant, his lips twitched up a grin and once again, her mental train derailed. There was a somewhat cocky swagger in it that roared there would be another kiss if she didn’t stop him. Maybe round two will be better. No wait, business, I have problems to solve.
Her feet stepped back as he leaned closer. “Please let me talk.” The request came out as a breathy plea. His nearness fogging her resolve and waking every nerve ending that wanted to be touched.
“You are nay angry with me?” Conall’s question made her grin, even as she blushed.
“No, I’m not angry with you. I ate with Elspeth and tried to talk her out of making a huge mistake.” In a rush, she violated the girl’s trust, spewing the details of what the couple hoped would be their future.
Conall stood in silence for long seconds. “Aye, they are fools. Without clan to shelter them, I see only harm, as you do.” He added that Tearlach would likely never welcome her home given their parting, or so the Campbell laird had claimed.
“Which is why I came to speak with you.” Summoning her wandering thoughts, she suggested, “Is it possible to give Elspeth something of worth to trade or sell just in case Gordain manages to find her? I hate to ask, but I have nothing in my possession.”
From the corner of her eye, she caught his hands clenching into fists. “To do so would violate my treaty with Tearlach.” Defeat once again filled her belly. “Though I have every confidence he will raid or violate the terms as soon as the Bruce’s men depart.”
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