“Not really, not much of a history buff,” Sarah admitted. “But I will stop pushing and let you be under the condition you tell me when you need help. Okay?”
“Then mayhap this night we shall walk and enjoy the moon with a stolen kiss or two. My da said to me many times that a man must continue to court his wife.” Conall waited to see if she would contradict his beliefs.
“See, you should listen to your father. He has outstanding advice.” Sarah beamed up at him and he nodded. Keeping silent on how many nights he heard his da recalling his mother with love and encouraging him to find the same deep passion. Yet, Conall knew he had done just that, he had found his love.
“Enough,” Donald called. “Bring your arse over here before I grow weary of waiting.” The trainer stood with his sword raised to attack
Sarah rolled her eyes and planted a tender kiss to his lips. “He can threaten me all day long. We both know that he won’t really hurt me. Show me, Conall,” she practically dared him. “Show me how to survive.”
His features hardened before he turned away from her challenge, indecision warring with the need to protect her.
Sarah sighed and turned to face Donald, who waited for her approach. Her soft tread filled his ears and he recalled too many images of fleeing women never seeing the true attacker.
With a breath, he let the darkness in and flew at her back, to have her pinned on her stomach with her wrist holding the sword trapped in his hand. Pushing her to ground with his weight, he growled in her ear, “Never fear the man you can see. ‘Tis always another behind you. Fear him.”
Her body stilled under his and went slack and he feared he had gone too far. Then her elbow struck out and hit his ear, causing him to shift his weight. Yet, he made her fight, needing to be certain she had the will to survive.
Chapter 27
Leaving the din of the hall behind, those still remaining after dinner continued enjoying Evan’s public return. As usual, Conall held open the door of their chamber, allowing her to enter first, but Sarah held back with Bella insisting on being the initial occupant. The dog went immediately to her pile of furs next to the fireplace and settled in, again a normal occurrence. Yet, the night had been far from ordinary.
Conall had stayed by her side and had served her first, only the best for her plate, and then seeing to his. Her cup had been first to be filled and then normalcy had ended. Even during the fantastical tale shared by Donald after dinner, only a rare light touch had been made to her back or hair, with no soft kisses during the romantic story of how Conall’s parents had met.
Members of the clan had added to the story of his father, Graham, abducting a young and moderately willing Elizabeth from a busy fall market after being denied permission to court the lass due to an upcoming arranged marriage. Horse chases, Elizabeth’s daring escape, only to be recaptured by Graham, and the ploy to make him prove his intentions had brought laughter to the hall. A few sighs filled the air when Donald spoke of Elizabeth seeking Graham out one night to claim him while her father argued for her immediate release. Young love had won. That love had created a loving home for three children. There had been cheers at recollections of Graham carrying Elizabeth over his shoulder and up the stairs after more than one evening meal.
Through it all, Conall had been quiet and oddly somber. None of the jovial spirit reached him and she couldn’t find any signs of happiness on the man who built up the fire in the chamber to then sit in the chair with his eyes closed.
Only the low fire lit the chamber in what should have been perceived as a calming orange, warm glow. Instead, Sarah saw only shadows, those in the corners and the larger ones on Conall’s face. He hid, and she knew it and her professional persona wanted to reach out, but he wasn’t a patient.
Forcing herself to move, she avoided the chairs and walked to the window. Fresh air floated in on a light breeze while her gaze lingered on the tiny lights from the village.
“Are you going to come with me to the village in the morning?” Sarah asked, then quickly amended, “I mean, will you come with me to the village in the morning? I’m not quite sure exactly what I am supposed to do.” While the task of welcoming a new life into the village hardly sounded complicated, there would likely be nuances of obligation unknown to her. Plus, she hoped it would spark a conversation.
With a heavy sigh, Conall replied, “Aye. ‘Tis the first time I have done such as laird, though ken nay much ‘tis expected.”
Sarah turned from the quiet night to face the sullen man. “What are we expected to do? Other than bring a basket of food.” Some basics held true in every time and bringing a meal to a new family seemed obvious.
Without looking up at her, a hint of an almost-smile touched his lips. “The bairn will be unwrapped so we can view him.”
“You mean like count the fingers and toes.” Attempting add lightness to the moment, she added, “And the parts that differentiate boy from girl.”
“Aye, we count them all and then praise the parents on the fine lad.” Conall lifted his eyes to seek hers. “Why are you so far away?” The hollow voice made her chest ache and she couldn’t imagine what had caused his dour mood.
“I could ask the same about you. You’ve been distant since we sat down to eat. Did I miss something?” Closing the physical gap between them, she stood in front of him and silently questioned the somber eyes that studied her.
Conall held out his hands. When she placed hers in his, he tugged and pulled her onto his lap. Holding her against him, he sighed and removed the strip of leather that held her hair back. “Why must you bind your hair?”
“So, my hair is responsible for your mood?” Teasing brought a small grin and his hands slid over her head to tangle in the curls. Shifting on his legs, she rested an arm on the back of the chair and smoothed it over the top of his head. “I’m too big for this.”
“Nonsense. You are but a wee lass,” Conall whispered as he pulled her close and buried his face in her neck.
“Wee, my ass, but it’s your legs taking the brunt of me.” He only nodded in her neck and sighed. “What’s going on? Was there something in the messages waiting for you?” After their training adventure, he had gone to read the day’s batch rather than join her in the bath. Then dread trickled over her spine. “Were you summoned?”
Conall ran his nose over her neck sending sparks over her skin. “Nay. You will ken when that day comes. The desk only held more on agreements to be made strong.”
“How many marriages were you offered today?” she asked with a slightly bitter tone. The first few she’d laughed off, but the continual flow had begun to bother her.
“Four.” Conall went on with the list with whom and to seal which trade pacts and borders.
Listening to his monotone relaying of facts, she aired a random thought that began to seem possible. “Does our marriage make it harder for you to keep those arrangements in place?” Peter’s overwhelming concerns for the clan had been eating at her with each new message. Seriously, how many unmarried women are there in the area?
“Do you speak with true concern or do the offers offend you?” His question for a reply came with a soft brush of his lips against her jaw. “I am but one man and can only marry one lass.”
“You’re not funny,” she shot out with a slight smack to the top of his head that brought a light laugh.
“I am but will nay play games with what ‘tis between us. None of the offers consider what I want, only that an easy and binding alliance ‘tis possible. The most likely fact ‘tis that most offer kenning I will deny and they will seek more coin for the current trade pacts. An old ruse.” Conall inhaled against her neck, tugging at a curl on the base of her neck.
“So, then that’s not what’s bothering you. Care to tell me or would you rather I leave it alone?” Everyone should be entitled to a quiet night alone in his or her thoughts. But she could almost feel his hurt, as if the tingles between them were resonating on the wrong wavelength.
“I would rather nay speak.” To prove his point, lingering kisses pressed under her ear and then down her neck while a stray hand tugged and loosened the laces of her gown. “The only question is, can you accept that?”
Her neck rolled to the side to allow his wandering mouth access to the divine place next to the hollow of her throat. Sighing in delight with blood beginning to rush, she whispered, “Only if you tell me you aren’t upset with me.”
Conall pulled back and met her eyes that were several inches above his, thanks to her perch on his lap. “I have no cause to be. Why would you ask such a question when there are others to asked and answered?”
She grinned at the innuendo and ran her fingers over his cheek. “You’re quiet, much too quiet. Something is bothering you.” So much for leaving it alone.
His head shook with a light chuckle and came to rest against her chin, so she kissed his forehead. “The hall made me recall nights from my youth. It made me wonder how many such nights I missed and how many more I will never ken.”
“Oh, sweetie.” Sarah sighed and used both of her hands to hold his head and pressed her lips to his forehead for several seconds. “I’m sorry that’s where you are. I could tell you to savor and take every beautiful moment you can capture, but I don’t have the heart to say it.”
“You just did,” he mumbled with a light tug to the curl.
“I did, didn’t I? But I don’t mean it.” His melancholy made perfect sense with the uncertain timeframe ahead of them. A fact she had purposefully ignored while becoming immersed in him.
“Why?” he asked, lifting his head with a look that said he wanted her to distract him with falsehoods.
With his eyes on her, his face lit with the hues from the fire, she closed her eyes. “Because one night doesn’t make up for a whole bunch of nights, even if we want it to mean everything.” Swallowing the lump that had welled in her throat, her whisper came out choked. “I don’t want to talk about this.”
Warm lips pressed against hers and lingered without asking for more. “Mayhap we should. If ‘tis one truth, ‘tis that there will be many nights apart.”
She shook her head and attempted to deny the cold flowing over skin that should have been heated while tucked within his hold. She knew the correct words, the ones she would have given to a patient to bring comfort, but they meant nothing to her. “But not yet.”
“Finally, I wish for more said than you,” he teased gently. “It can wait but nay forever. Tell me, Sarah. Will you miss me?” When she nodded, he gave a light laugh. “Open your eyes.”
The tone practically implored her, and she forced her gaze to his that had softened and lost some of the melancholy. Warm, strong hands gripped her face and held her. “I’ll miss you.” A pale whisper left her lips.
“As I will miss you.” Conall pressed a kiss to her lips and then leaned back against the chair. “There are matters we need to speak of before I leave.”
Sarah lifted her gaze to the wall and stared at the stones darkened by shadows. “I don’t want to do this yet.”
“And yet we must. On the day I am summoned, all will pass quickly. Men and supplies will need to be readied. Our time will be short. Here we have the whole of the night to speak.” His voice held calm and the request made sense, but even thinking of him leaving left her hollow.
Glancing back down, she chuckled at her untied gown. “You want to talk and yet you started something else.”
His gentle finger ran over the skin against the bodice, and barely made contact with the swells of her breasts but sent shivers running over her skin. “Aye, but I will wish to finish the eve with you and I as one.”
You and I as one.
Never in her life had she ever thought of sex described so poetically or with such an intense meaning. But then every part of her life with Conall bore uniqueness. “Okay, let’s talk.” Sarah said the right words even if her heart wanted to pretend and avoid.
His lips twitched into a smirk while the teasing finger fell away to rest on her thigh. “I hear how little you wish to, but I need you to heed me. There are many matters that will fall to you. First, you must be the one who tends the accounts.”
“Peter told me that story, of the mines being forgotten until your great-grandmother found record of them in older ledgers. He’s gone over the books in detail with me and I will learn how to manage them. Lena and I have already updated the household accounts.” Conall’s answering smile made the tedious tasks worthwhile.
I would do anything to have your eyes light up.
Conall continued with the needs of the village; seeing to its care with enough food, raw materials, and by being present and known by the occupants. “My parents kenned each person by name, though such knowledge will take time. Simply walk among them as the days allow.”
Sarah nodded, and he continued with recognizing births and deaths. Even listening to his requests that seemed immense with all the details of obligations that fell to him, and now her, her mind wandered as she watched him talk.
Dropping her eyes from his that were serious, she watched his lips move to form the syllables and words. Perfectly formed and full, they listed details too numerous to remember while his deep voice rumbled in her ears.
I love the sound of his voice, the way it reverberates in my ears, the tone always so confident.
Each motion made his jaw move and her gaze lingered over the skin void of whiskers but knew that with the dawn, dark stubble would shadow his sculpted and handsome features. With only the glow of the fire, the reddish light warmed his suntanned skin and highlighted the defined cheekbones that would have made a model weep with envy.
So beautiful.
His eyes were a work of art. Bold and vividly bright with so many different shades of green blended together and framed by thick, dark lashes that kissed his skin when he blinked. Above sat eyebrows that were bold enough to be stunning, yet not out of control. The unblemished skin of his forehead shifted with his diatribe. Then midnight dark hair took over, so thick and full. She loved to caress the silky tresses that fell to his powerful shoulders.
“Did you hear me, Sarah?” Conall asked, forcing her gaze back to his eyes.
“Yes, while we have peace with the Campbell clan, I should expect a few stolen sheep here and there, but not allow more than a few stolen in return. No more, even if the warriors complain.” Conall looked surprised that she followed him. Sarah was fairly awed by it, knowing she focused on him only, on the visual perfection that paled to the man inside.
“Lena will ken what to do with the harvest, as will Peter, learn from them.” Conall’s tutorial in medieval maintenance continued with her gaze locked on the ties of his shirt.
Such perfection coating the sweetest man I have ever met. How can he possibly be so damned perfect? Why can’t he be a dick on occasion? I don’t want to miss everything about him. The way he touches me, the way he makes certain I have what I need and his concerns that I am happy.
Forcing herself to nod at the wool market basics, she forced a neutral expression to remain on her face. I’m so screwed. Leave it to me to fall in love with a man who I knew would be leaving me. When will I learn?
No, no, no, no. I should only be infatuated with him, or maybe relishing the wicked sex and those whispered questions that are truly the best foreplay ever. Each one makes me insane with the agreement and the occasional how-to explanation. But how in the hell did I fall in love with him when he’s leaving and. . .
Her stomach tightened with the thought of him maybe never to return. Focusing on the tiny scar on his jaw, she forced herself to recall that he had fought for years and survived. Of course he would come home, back to her. The alternative left her bleak and the emptiness of the possibility too vast to comprehend.
Conall’s warm hands held her face and pulled her back. “Why are you so distraught? You need to ken how to ride a horse.”
With her heart beating erratically in her chest, she felt the ragged breathing
coming from her lungs and forced it slow. “Oh yeah, sure, let’s teach me to ride a horse.”
No Uber here.
He chuckled and shook his head. “I will teach you myself. ‘Tis a fine white mare in the stables and she shall be yours. While strong, she is sweet and kind. A perfect gift as she shares your gentle nature.”
While the gesture was exactly what she should have expected from him, her lips trembled. “Thank you.”
“You dinna seem pleased.” His brow furrowed and she knew he would ask as she debated what to say. “What bothers you?”
Grasping at straws, she blurted out, “Why do I need to learn to ride? Where would I go?”
Instead of laughing or teasing her, his face transformed to a complete seriousness that made her nervous. “While the Highlands have long been safe, no one kens what may come to pass. Should we fail in our efforts, you must be prepared to flee if needed.”
Sarah felt her eyes widen and then searched her mind for hints of history, whether from school or television, she had no recollection, but the certainty came. “I think the Bruce succeeds, that he eventually wins.”
Conall nodded, still keeping their gazes locked. “Peter has said the same. But learn to ride. It matters.”
“All right,” she agreed. “Is there more?”
I don’t want there to be more. All it does is make me think of forbidden thoughts. Why would I meet him now? Why am I even in this time? We should have never met. Why would I allow myself to love him knowing that he’s leaving?
“One more and then the rest will be for Peter and Lena to aid you with as the situations and needs arise. As you learn, teach Evan. While he kens much, his desire to work for the clan is lacking. Lead him by example and make him accept that the duty may fall to him,” Conall replied with no humor.
“I will make sure he works more than plays,” Sarah agreed. “Even if I have to threaten him with tattling to all of the young women.”
He grinned and dropped his hands. “Forgive me for placing so much upon you. But I have every confidence in you.”
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