Blood rushed in her ears and she wobbled on her feet. “You can’t be serious.” The pitiful challenge was all she had left. “As if I can control that.” She consciously ignored the part about her death.
“Men, they see what they wish.” Jacqueline’s smile held no mirth. “I am not the monster. Never would I wish ill for a woman heading for her time in childbed. Colette and I will pray for your safety, even as we pray for a daughter. If it eases your thoughts, my daughter has no desire for Conall, yet we need a home.”
With clenched teeth, Sarah compelled herself not to spew out the anger and helplessness roaring in her soul. Forcing her breathing to suck in and blow out in measured pace, she rubbed her belly. She aired her only truth. “Conall won’t walk away from me or his children.”
Her former-yet-would-be adversary widened her eyes and made the sign of the cross. “Twins.” The word whispered like a curse. “The fates may yet decide all. We will pray for you.”
After a rough exhale, Sarah straightened her spine. “For the moment, I like and understand you. No need to go all doom and gloom on me.”
“You face a hard delivery. I know only one woman who survived such a birth. Perhaps you will be the second.” Despite an inner desire to loath the pseudo-concern, Sarah merely nodded.
“I doubt you came here to inform me of Robert’s insane decision. Why are you here?”
Jacqueline’s lip twitched in a grin. “Only you have the answers to the questions in my mind.” When Sarah remained silent, she asked, “Is Conall the type of man to take out his anger on another? If you are. . . no longer his wife, would he treat Colette harshly?”
At least she thought enough to omit if I’m dead. Too much of her realized she faced a mother worried for the safety of her child. Her professional self understood the motives and her person had only come to recognize how powerful that drive could be. “While I have no intention of being Conall’s previous wife, he would never be cruel to her. You may not see it, or ever know who he truly is, but he is a gentle soul.”
To her surprise, Jacqueline bowed her head. “You have my gratitude for easing my mind.”
“Thank you for helping with my back.” Sarah smiled, despite the unknown between them.
With a shrug, Jacqueline walked to the door. “Unfortunately, our mutual truce and relief is temporary at best.”
Chapter 40
Rubbing the scarred muzzle, Conall stared into Bella’s eyes that shone with love and acceptance. “How do I share what I have been told?” He knew that he would never adhere to the mad decree, but Sarah would likely hear of the tidings, given the women who served drink while they talked. She has to hear it from me.
The great beast guarding the bathing chamber door only nuzzled against his hands. “How do I make certain she kens I will fight for her?”
From behind the door, he heard her voice. “Are you coming in or not?” Given the way his skin recognized her, she must sense his presence and how he sought guidance from a mute creature.
The warmth from the chamber did little to ease the chill from his heart, but he quickly closed the door to prevent his wife from facing the colder air. Refusing to blink, he took in the curls, elongated and darkened by the water and how a few dared to drape over the side on the tub. For months and months, a simple cutting of her tresses had kept him grounded and sane in a world of blood. But he knew it had little to do with the gift and everything to do with the woman who had come to share his life.
Even with her advanced pregnancy, she appeared small and fragile in the great tub. His instincts screamed she was to be protected at all costs and that he could only be complete with her.
“I’ll move forward if you plan on joining me.” Her offer was a temptation he would never resist. While silently undressing, she only sighed rather than giggled at the thuds and thumps of his clothing being thrown to the floor.
Within a few short steps, he crouched at the tub’s side and cupped her cheek. Similar to the great beast, she nuzzled against his touch as if he brought her only delight and love.
His hand pulled away and her body made room for his to tuck behind her. So practiced in sharing the water was he that his thighs straddled her with ease as she leaned back against his chest. Her contented sigh matched his. First, he ran his hand over her damp hair, wishing he had been the one to wash it. Then he held her belly, running his hands over the tight, hard skin. “They are quiet,” he whispered against her head.
“For now,” her soft voice agreed.
They sat in silence, soaking in water that no longer remained hot. She has been here for a bit. He inhaled her skin while she stroked his forearms. Such simple touches and yet they eased the tortuous fears from his mind. Finally breaking the silence, he whispered, “You are mine.”
Sarah had always returned the saying, and her vocalization of their truth made it more real to him. Yet she sat in silence and only nuzzled her head against his neck.
One of his arms lifted and wrapped around her shoulder, keeping her tucked tight against him. Only then did she speak. “Are you going to tell me about Robert’s insane decree?”
“Who told you?”
“Does it matter?” Her question ended with a kiss to his chin. “Why didn’t you tell me about his men camped in the woods?”
Conall sighed and knew that Peter had likely told her, despite his wishes to spare her the threat. “As you can do naught, ‘tis one matter that falls to me. I only sought to protect you from tidings that would keep you up at night.”
“I know.” Soft breath tickled his neck. “What are we going to do about them?”
He squeezed her shoulder. “You will nay even think of them. I will eliminate the threat to keep you safe.”
Her head nodded against him in acceptance. “I trust you.”
“You and our bairns will face no dangers, I swear it.” His pledge sounded hollow given the situation, but he would do anything to keep his family safe.
“I need to have a conversation with you that you won’t like. Are you ready for it?” she asked, gripping his forearm.
“Nay, love. Let us enjoy our peaceful bath.” Worry and threat dangled over them with no end in sight. I wish only to savor her and share a time only for us.
“I hate what this is doing to you. There is a distance in your eyes that scares me. You’re beginning to hide again in the dark.” Sarah shifted enough to stare into his eyes, as if silently forcing him to become aware. “Come back to me.”
Closing his eyes, he blew out a ragged breath. “I would never seek to hide from you.” To prove his point, he opened his eyes to behold her scrutiny.
“Those beautiful emerald eyes of yours tell me what you won’t, that your thoughts are no longer dancing in the light with me.” He heard no reproach, only concern for him when she should only be focused on their children.
Wet hands pulled her face close for a whisper of a kiss before once again settling her back to his front, where she would likely find greater comfort. Which buys me time to attempt to explain. He pushed damp hair off her shoulder and ran a finger over the reddish freckles that dotted her creamy skin. He knew he held perfection and would let no man, or king, rip her away from him.
“Conall,” Sarah prompted.
He whispered against her hair. “Once again you see my darkness, as you call it, as a foe to be defeated. One might also see it as a tool to be used.”
One of her hands forced his to still on her shoulder. “Explain it to me, because I’m worried the strain of the situation will be too much for you.”
“Only you would fash for me so.” Conall let her love fill his soul while the proclaimed darkness sought their means of survival. “My darkness has kept me alive and has defeated enemies beyond count. Let it offer us guidance and a path to our future.”
Sarah stiffened. “I don’t think I like where this is headed.”
A harsh chuckle came from his throat as he allowed his honed instincts to surface. “You will when the threats
are gone.” He lifted her hand from his and placed a delicate kiss to her wet palm.
“But you’ve never had to act against Robert, only your better judgment.”
“You speak true, but he has placed himself as our adversary. He of all men kens of what I am capable.” Confidence surged in his veins. “Defeat is never an option.”
For several heartbeats, the patter of water droplets, logs crackling in the hearth, and their breaths were the only audible sounds. Sarah’s hands covered his and her head fell back to nestle into his neck. “He’s delusional if he thinks that a man would simply abandon a daughter.” When he remained silent, she prompted, “This is where you agree with me.”
“Aye, love. A lass is a fine heir for the Draig Laird. Robert seeks to order the impossible.” Conall kissed her head as he thought through the madness. “In his own way, Robert may believe he has shown kindness. To deny me a male heir would nay sit well with the men upon whom he depends for support. Unfortunately, many men would abandon a lass and the wife. But then, those men have marriage made out of duty. I alone have a marriage fulfilled by destiny.”
“Destiny, huh?” He heard her humor mixed with tenderness for his claims.
“Aye, you are my legend, here to complete our destiny. We are locked together by love and fate.” Even with his lips forming words of love, his thoughts saw the foes waiting to be slaughtered. “Robert will nay have his way. You bear my children, whom I love more than my life. My sword is yours before ‘tis his.”
“Oh, sweetie, do you hear your own voice when you say that? It’s filled with such remorse.” While Sarah remained correct, he would never put a ruler’s whim in front of the needs of his family and clan.
“Mayhap, but I dinna care.” His nose ran over her locks before his lips followed the same path. “Our bairns will be born as all have before them, safe in our chamber. Our warriors will be told to stand at the ready to protect you and them from Robert’s men within our household. Do you ken we greatly outnumber them within the walls?”
“Yes, but there are so many more.” He felt her shudder against his chest and tightened his arms across her shoulders while the darkness freed his plans.
“Aye, but they would need to be summoned. ‘Tis quite hard to ride for reinforcements when locked inside.” Conall let out the chuckle as the rest came into sharp focus. “Trusted men already watch their camp and Peter will discover who is providing food and drink.”
“Is that safe?”
“As safe as any plan.”
When she sat in silence, he added, “My darkness will protect my light.”
Chapter 41
Sarah clung to Conall as they made their way from the baths to their chamber. While napping would be a luxury not found given the day’s tidings, she adored the idea of simply resting beside her husband until the evening meal. Provided he ceases speaking of his darkness like a trusted friend. I’m not sure if it’s a rational thought or one that should have me freaked out.
She was so lost in thought that she bumped against Conall as he stopped abruptly in front of their chamber door. Glancing ahead, she smiled at the familiar face and then frowned at the imposing body language. A wide stance mixed with crossed arms didn’t bode for a friendly visit.
Conall broke the silence. “Move, Logan. My wife seeks to rest.”
Logan’s lips twisted, as if what he had to say soured in his mouth. “Forgive me, Conall. I have orders to only allow you to pass.”
“And where exactly am I supposed to go?” Sarah asked as she stepped forward.
Without meeting her eyes, Logan pointed down the corridor. “Another chamber had been made ready, per the Bruce.”
Conall’s growl had the babies squirming in her belly. “How dare you think to command me or my wife in our keep? You stood witness to our marriage and celebration.”
“I do only as commanded,” Logan offered, his head lowering.
In a heartbeat, Conall lifted her and placed her four steps back and then pulled his sword. “Then do as the laird of these lands commands and leave.”
“No, Conall,” she weakly protested as she closed the distance. His blade sliced the air and landed against Logan’s throat.
“Behind me,” he commanded.
Sarah could hardly believe that Logan never flinched, even as the blade rested against his skin. Instead, the man scanned the quiet corridor and sighed. His voice lowered to a barely audible hush. “We must speak alone. Ears are everywhere.”
Without lowering the blade, Conall reached and opened their door. “Inside,” his command a soft growl.
With the door shut, Logan merely cocked an eyebrow and waited. After several long seconds, Conall lowered the weapon. “If you have aught to speak, do so.”
Logan nodded and then repeated the gesture to her, an odd one of respect given the situation. “‘Tis much you both need to ken.”
Sarah rubbed her belly from her perch on the bed. Her feet sighed in mild relief after being propped up on pillows. She listened, rather than spoke, as Conall, Evan and Peter attempted to form a plan that seemed harsh, but their list of options remained smaller.
“I will take a few men and pay Tearlach a visit tomorrow morning. We’ll ride out geared to hunt to lessen suspicion.” Peter’s offer had Evan rising from the chair before the fire.
“I shall join you. Mayhap he will listen to both of us rather than only one.”
“Nay,” Conall interjected without ceasing his steady pace across the floor. “While Logan swore the Campbell have been forced to supply the Bruce’s hidden forces with food, he may have lied. Only one shall carry the risk.”
“Gee, thanks. Nice to know that I’m expendable,” Peter mumbled.
“You have a way with words that Tearlach will heed. He kens that you have stood as laird for years upon years. You will ride with a flag of truce, a cask of the strong drink that Tearlach enjoyed while here and a bag of silver with the promise of another once the deed is complete.” Conall stopped and waited for Peter’s nod of agreement. “Only you would I trust.”
Breaking her silence, Sarah asked, “But when will you ask Tearlach to poison the supplies?” Her head shook in disbelief. “This is way too risky. Herbs are hardly exactly measured and we have no idea how much each man will eat. Someone could easily die from ingesting too much.” Knowing she had another dreadful thought, she added, “And when exactly do we plan for this to happen?”
Emerald green eyes softened when they fixed on her. “When the bairns come. The Bruce’s men will need to be incapable of attacking the village or the keep should daughters be born. I would easily risk the lives of those who would attempt to force me into a life without you. We hold enough men at the ready to outnumber and defeat them based on the number of enemy within the gates.”
Evan chimed in. “We need only have a rider at the ready when your time comes.”
“And then hope it’s dinner time, while we hope that the herbs work quickly, while we hope they eat and drink before being given the order to invade. There are a ton of unknowns and variables.” Sarah’s wisdom fell on deaf ears.
Peter gave her a soft smile. “As much as I hate to say this, we may have to delay sending for Brenda once you. . . that is. . . once the babies start coming.”
She ended the objection before Conall could rail at Peter. “That’s fine. Labor starts slow and I doubt I’ll need her services until after more than a few hours have passed. Besides, Lena is more than capable of helping me with whatever.” What did I just say? There’s no way I want to truly contemplate the hours and potentially day or two of labor. What the hell was I thinking?
“And I will be at your side,” Conall purred.
“I will ride to Tearlach on that day,” Evan volunteered. “None expect me to be hard at work, even though I have been diligent in my duties.”
“Nay, brother. We have other needs.” Conall strode to her side of the bed and sat. His massive palm settled over hers on her belly. “Sarah, you will nay
leave our chamber without Bella, myself, Evan, or Peter at your side. Logan shared too much to pretend you are safe if alone. Forgive me for placing you in such danger in your home.”
His remorse tore at her heart. “You didn’t do this. Our current megalomaniac-in-residence is the asshole. But I heard every word Logan uttered. As much as I hate to admit it, I agree with you.” The memory of their conversation with Logan danced in her thoughts and made her shudder, even as Peter chuckled.
“How easy would it be for Sarah to have an accident when unattended? Even stairs may hold danger.”
“If none bear witness, no crime is committed.”
“Have none ever fallen from the cliffs?”
“Dinna trust her food to any but those you trust most.” That one had inspired Conall’s poisoning plan. Plus, the intel that Tearlach was being forced to feed the horde.
“So am I only to be with Sarah, not that I mind. You are first in my duties,” Evan crooned while managing to pout at not being given a true role.
Conall gave her an uneasy smile before focusing his attention on Evan. “You spend much time with the lass.”
“Colette? Aye, she is ignored by most,” Evan readily replied before he color rose to his cheeks and he turned away from his brother’s scrutinizing gaze. “I have done naught to be reprimanded.”
“No one accused you of anything,” Peter added.
Sarah sighed. “Too bad a dishonored young woman won’t help us here.” I can’t believe I just said that.
“Mayhap it could,” Conall disagreed. “Should there be risk of a bairn. . .”
“It won’t stop Robert and you know it,” she finished.
Conall nodded as a curse left his lips. “Evan, what does the lass say?”
Evan shrugged. “What you would expect? She has been given no choice either. We speak of small matters, the weather, life on Draig lands, her former home, and the chess board on which we play.”
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