She sat up abruptly, water and suds flowing down from her hair. How had this realisation not hit her earlier? She had always equated leaving Totnes with leaving James, ever since they had started their flirtation three weeks or so previously. But she was realising now that it didn’t have to be that way…
With this idea hitting her full force, she could no longer luxuriate in her foamy bath. She washed her hair and shaved as quickly as she could, before showering off the suds and wrapping herself in a big towel. She couldn’t leave this for another two days - she needed to tell him now. Even if it was Christmas day. Especially because it was Christmas day!
Impatiently, she blow dried her hair, feeling like it was a very stupid idea to go out into the snow with dripping hair (not to mention what James might think of the look). When it was finally dry, she applied her make-up with more precision than the hair drying had been afforded, and slipped into her tight black jeans, a long sleeve top and her Christmas jumper - a dark navy blue with a glittery snow scene on the front, including Father Christmas flying across the sky.
By the time she was ready she felt like a nervous wreck; she couldn’t help but wonder what his response would be to her suggestion that they could carry on like they had been for this week well into the New Year. Perhaps, with her moving back to Bristol, he wouldn’t be interested…
Knowing she would just question every possibility until she knew for sure, she headed downstairs and out to her car, where errant snowflakes were still falling from the sky and landing on windscreens and gardens. Although the ground was white, there wasn’t yet enough snow to make travelling difficult, and once Lee had managed to remove the snow and ice from every window and mirror on the car, she was able to travel the couple of miles with relative ease.
Her heart was hammering the whole way, and she distracted herself by look at the Christmas light displays in windows, on rooftops and in gardens as she drove past. They all looked even more magical with that sprinkle of snow on top of them.
As she made her way up the lane to James’ house, she forced herself to focus on the words she was going to say, to stop herself from backing out. There was something so vulnerable in what she was trying to say - yes! Let’s give it a go! - that she felt like she might be opening herself up for heartbreak. But, she reasoned with herself, if she didn’t open herself up to it then she’d miss out on the happiness too.
Snowflakes fell onto her hair as she stepped out of the car, and she blinked rapidly to try and dislodge a snowflake that had managed to fall onto her eyelash. Nervously, she rapped on the front door - and waited.
He answered the door in black jeans and a white shirt that was open at the collar. Lee felt her mouth go dry and she struggled to find the words that had been there only minutes ago.
“Lee!” James said with a grin. “I didn’t expect to see you today. Are you okay?”
She nodded, swallowing slightly and shutting her eyes for a second. “I need to say this, so please just let me get it out,” she said, and he didn’t voice the million questions that were inside his head.
“The last three weeks have been amazing. The sex is bloody fantastic. And when I’m with you… I forget about everything that’s wrong or bad and I’m just… happy. I have to move back to Bristol next week - I’ve got a career to go back to. But… I was hoping that, maybe, we could give us a go. Properly. With perhaps a little hint of commitment.” She took a deep breath, glad she’d said the words, and let her eyes rise to meet his. His cheeks were red, with the cold she presumed, and he looked a little lost for words himself.
“You want to date? Properly? As in you’d be my girlfriend, I’d be your boyfriend, not just casual hooking up?”
“I’d like to give it a go,” she said with a nod. “I know I’m a bit damaged - I’m warning you that now. But James… you make me happy.”
James’ hands went roughly to her waist, and she almost fell in his eagerness to pull her closer to him. Their lips crashed together and Lee - taking the gesture for a yes - wrapped her arms around his necks and pulled herself even closer, letting her tongue explore his lips, his mouth, as she tried to hold back a groan of want.
“James?” a voice called from inside the house. “You’re letting all the cold air in. Who’s there?”
Their chests rising and falling rapidly with the exertion of the kiss, they broke apart and Lee glanced at James. His lips moved to behind her ear, where he kissed before whispering: “As much as I’d love to seal this deal by taking you upstairs and ravishing you - and yes, I agree the sex is fantastic - my whole family are just in the other room.”
“Oh, God,” Lee said, putting a hand to her head. She couldn’t believe her stupidity. “I forgot! It’s Christmas Day, I knew you were with your family… how could I forget! And now I’ve announced how good you are in bed to your family, I bet… I’m mortified.” Her cheeks burned bright red, and it certainly wasn’t just because of the cold.
“Oh, I’m sure they didn’t hear that bit, don’t worry. Come in - I’ll try not to make it obvious that I want them to go home so I can take you upstairs.”
Lee giggled. “I can’t. It’s Christmas Day. You go, be with your family - I’ll see you when I see you.”
“Lee,” he said, grabbing hold of her hand and pulling her in close once more. “The only reason I didn’t invite you is because I thought it would freak you out about me wanting more than just something casual. I want you to come in. Please.” She couldn’t resist that look in his eyes, and indeed she didn’t get much choice - still holding her hand, he stepped into the cottage and closed the door. “There,” he said, brushing the snow from her head and taking her coat from her. “That’s better. Come and meet everyone.”
Lee took a deep breath and, hand in hand, followed James into the living room.
Lee wouldn’t have been surprised if James could feel her nerves somehow; he gave her hand a little squeeze as they entered the living room.
“Hey, guys, this is Lee. Lee, this is my mum, dad, my brother Jack, my sister Therese, and their wives Janet and Tamsin.”
Lee raised her hand, feeling a little awkward. “Hi - Merry Christmas!”
His family greeted her in the same way, with all the festive tidings - but she could still see their slightly questioning looks at James.
“Lee’s my girlfriend,” James said, a silly grin on his face that he couldn’t wipe off. He turned to look at Lee, and saw that she was grinning too; a slightly awkward smile, but a smile all the same.
“Girlfriend!” James’ mum said, piercing Lee with a stare. “Well, it’s the first we’ve heard of it! Come and sit over here love, let me make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into with this one. James, go and get your girlfriend a drink, for goodness sake.”
“Yes mum,” James said; with a laugh, Lee also did as she was told and went to sit next to his mum. Although her hair was greying, her face had a youthful look to it, and the bright green glasses wouldn’t have looked out of place on someone much younger.
“So, I’m afraid I’ve heard nothing about you!” Mrs Knight said.
“It’s all quite new,” Lee admitted, not letting on quite how new - she didn’t need to know they’d only really become a couple in the last ten minutes. Nor that they’d made love on that carpet right in front of the fireplace…
“Ah, I see. Don’t you try to cover for my son, I’ll be having words with him about keeping you hidden away. So, what do you do, Lee?”
“Don’t grill her, mother!” James said, re-entering the living room with a large glass of wine for Lee.
“I drove,” she said quietly in his direction, glancing at the glass. He tilted his head to one side and shrugged with a cheeky grin, passing the wine to her anyway. Clearly he didn’t plan on her going home that evening.
Lee turned back to his mum and tried to answer her question. “I’m a lawyer, in Bristol,” she said, trying not to react to the shocked looks on their faces. “But I’ve been down here f
or the last six weeks setting up a café.”
“A café! My, what a career change. And you’re staying here?”
“Mum…” James said in a warning voice.
“I’m not sure yet,” Lee said honestly. “But I do love it.”
“Well of course you do,” James’ dad chipped in. He had a full head of hair that was a dark grey, and he was tall and slim with the same piercing blue eyes as James had. “Best place to live in the world, Devon.”
“I’d have to agree,” Lee said. “I have to admit, I’ve fallen in love with the place.” She caught James’ eye; he was definitely a bit part of her attraction to Devon…
“Have you eaten?” James asked, and Lee shook her head.
“But don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”
“Don’t be silly - we’re having our Christmas lunch at four. Can you come and give me a hand in the kitchen for a second?” Lee nodded and excused herself, wondering if he wanted to speak to her or whether he was just giving her a reason to not be interrogated by his family.
“I’ll have another cup of coffee please, James,” his mum said.
“Ooh, me too,” said his sister, and before long multiple drinks orders were placed.
“Good job I’ve got practice in remembering drinks orders,” Lee said with a grin as they headed to the kitchen.
The second the kitchen door closed, however, the thoughts of drinks orders were promptly forgotten as James turned and pressed her back up against the door, his fingers combing through her hair and his lips crushing against hers. It took her brain a second to catch up, but when it did she felt her body mould into his and could have sworn his heart was beating as fast as hers. The hardness of his chest was pressed into her and she wrapped her arms around his waist, revelling in the warmth that this kiss brought her.
She didn’t know how long it was before he broke away - only centimetres though. His lips hovering above hers, his breath as ragged as hers, he murmured: “Thank you.”
“What for?” Lee asked, looking puzzled.
“For saying you want to give this a go. For coming round on Christmas Day.”
“Oh,” Lee said, letting the words settle in. “You’re welcome. And thank you for that kiss…”
He pressed his lips to hers once more, then stepped away, taking hold of her hand instead. “Oh, there’s plenty more where that came from - you can stay the night, I hope?”
“If you’ll have me,” Lee said with a raise of her eyebrows.
James grinned at the words. “Oh, Miss Davis, I will most definitely have you.”
They were interrupted at that moment by James’ brother walking through the door. Lee thought it was probably a good thing; his words had sent such a frisson of electricity through her that she wouldn’t have been at all surprised if they’d had gone well beyond kissing without even thinking of the family members next door.
“I came to see if you need a hand,” Jack said. “But I can see you haven’t even got the kettle on yet.” He had a knowing grin, and Lee looked away, blushing and trying to avoid eye contact. Her lips tingled where they had so recently been on James’, and she felt sure that anyone looking at her would be able to tell that she had been so thoroughly kissed.
“I’m getting there bro,” James said with a good natured grin. He let go of Lee’s hand and headed to the kettle, leaving her under the scrutinising eye of Jack Knight.
“So, Lee,” he said; Lee could see James straining to hear what he was saying over the noise of the kettle boiling. “You seem to have my brother all in a daze.”
It was an odd statement, and Lee didn’t quite know what to say; she felt in a daze herself.
“I hope you realise what a good guy he is.” Ahh, it was the protective speech - she got it now. She’d given it herself before to suitors of Beth’s that she hadn’t been sure were quite in it for the right reasons. She guessed she was now that suitor - in Jack’s eyes at least.
“I definitely do,” she said, with a smile. “And I’m all in a daze as well.” It seemed to be the right answer; Jack relaxed and began to ask her about how the café was doing. Together, the three of them carried the drinks into the living room and passed a pleasant hour sharing family news, with Lee listening in.
***
Christmas dinner was a noisy and extremely enjoyable affair. The table was laden with a roast turkey, stuffing, vegetables of all types, Yorkshire puddings… Lee couldn’t even contemplate all the food that there was. Even though Lee had been a last minute addition, she was in prime position next to James and was served first. There certainly was enough food, even with an extra adult, and they all piled their plates high and tucked into the feast.
Conversation dwindled a little as the hungry guests ate, and Lee found she enjoyed the big family feel, as well as the amazing Christmas dinner that James had cooked.
“I never knew you could cook like this,” she said as she took a break to let her food settle.
“Mum helps with a lot!” James said.
“Oh, don’t you listen to him, he’s a great cook. Always has been - used to help me when he was younger. Do you cook, dear?”
“Not much, I’m afraid, although I’m not too bad at baking. I’ve not really had the time to cook regularly in years, and I haven’t ever actually made Christmas dinner!”
“Ah well, James probably wouldn’t have done if he didn’t live here. This cottage is just perfect for Christmas - that’s what my mum used to say. And so with James living here, it just made sense for Christmas to be hosted by him! Not that he got a say in it really.”
James laughed good-naturedly, and topped up Lee’s wine glass before offering the bottle round the table. His sister and her wife, whose names Lee realised she had forgotten, accepted while the others passed. She presumed, since the cottage only had two bedrooms, that they couldn’t all be staying over, and so some of them at least needed to be driving.
“How’s work then, Therese?” James asked, addressing his sister, and Lee made a mental note to try to remember her name.
“Oh, you know. I work too many hours, too much marking, the usual.” She rolled her eyes, then grinned. “But the nativity went well, and I only had to read the lines for one donkey with stage fright, so it was a good end to the term. Not a dry eye in the place when they sang at the end!”
“What age do you teach?” Lee asked.
“Year three - so seven and eight year olds. They get a lot of the big parts in the nativity - it’s a lot of responsibility!”
Lee nodded as though she understood, although her experience with children was so limited that she didn’t think she’d been to a nativity performance since she’d been in one herself.
Conversation lulled again; this time Lee thought it was probably because they all were so full they were exhausted. It was fairly quiet until Jack cleared his throat and the family turned to face him.
“While we’re all together,” he said, “Janet and I have some news.” Janet was grinning next to him; a pretty brunette with long curly hair and dark purple glasses, she hadn’t said a lot so far that day and so Lee hadn’t really focussed much on her. “Janet’s pregnant - we’re having a baby in July!”
Silence for a second, and then a cacophony of sound; congratulations, questions, tears from James’ mum, hugs all round. Lee said the right words - or she thought she did, it was all a bit of a blur - but she couldn’t help feeling a little stunned. That reminder of what she had been working towards all these years yet again; the reminder of something that was now so far out of her reach. As exciting and exhilarating as these new feelings were, she knew there were always going to be times that reminders of her old goals, her old hopes and dreams, hit her square in the face.
When she felt she could do so without being rude, Lee excused herself to go to the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She took a few deep breaths, remembering the calming techniques from the yoga classes she had attended many moons ago in Bristol. She stood in front of the sink, an
d looked at herself in the mirror, trying to think positively. “You are not old,” she told herself. “You can still have children. It’s just ‘later’. Not ‘never’.” She took a few more deep, calming breaths - in through the nose and out through the mouth. Things became a little clearer, her heart slowed down, and she realised how worked up Jack and Janet’s happy announcement had made her.
“That’s enough,” she told herself. She could not get so upset over every pregnancy or child related announcement. Things happened for a reason; she could wait to have kids. She splashed cold water over her face, trying to make sure she re-joined the group looking normal, and not like someone who’d had an overreaction to a stranger’s pregnancy announcement. Hoping for the best, she exited the bathroom.
The South West Series Box Set Page 15
