The bell sounded, and Lee met Gina’s eye and nodded, signalling it was fine for her to go back to serving. After all, someone needed to keep it together.
She was about to take a sip of the tea Gina had left next to the sink when James walked through the archway and into the kitchen.
“I came as soon as I could - I’m sorry if you were worried, I-”
He was dressed in his uniform, and from what Lee could see it was undamaged. Beyond that, she didn’t care much - he was here. She wasn’t even sure how she got from the stool to being right in front of him, but the second it was possible she threw her arms round his neck and held him so tightly she wasn’t sure if he could still breathe.
Then she broke down, tears falling thick and fast into the black, stiff fabric of his uniform. His arms were round her waist and she was fairly sure he was holding most of her weight, as her legs felt weak beneath her.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay, it’s all okay.”
“I… I was so worried,” she managed to choke out, taking deep breaths that made her whole body shudder but staunched the flow of embarrassing tears somewhat. She was quite glad Gina had made the decision to stay out in the cafe - she didn’t need anyone else witnessing this.
Seeming to realise how shaky she was, James manoeuvred her back onto the stool and knelt beside it on the now-shining floor. He passed her a handful of tissues, which she gratefully took, and kindly looked away as she wiped her eyes and blew her nose.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered finally. “I was just so scared…”
“I’m sorry. I’ve only just seen your message - but it was all pretty intense, and there was no way I could tell you…”
“I know. I know.” She sniffed. “Were - were you in there?”
“Do you want to know?” James asked, and Lee gritted her teeth and nodded. “Yes, I was. But I’m not hurt, I promise, and I was doubly cautious today because I knew I had people relying on me.” He smiled, and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. “Oh Lee. I’m sorry I worried you so much.”
Lee took a gulp of the tea to disguise the fact that her teeth were chattering still. “When they said there was a knife - and I knew you were on duty - I just…” She searched for the right words, although they didn’t leave her with much dignity. “I just fell apart. All I could think was that it was you in there, and that you could be seriously hurt… and you could’ve been, I was right.” She felt fresh tears threatening to overwhelm her, so did the only logical thing and pressed her lips to James’ in order to keep them at bay. It seemed to work; that maelstrom of emotions that had been fighting within her was channelled into the kiss, and within a moment or two both had their hands in one another’s hair and had lost control of their thoughts.
As they parted, Lee found she was even able to give a half smile. “I’m sorry for being in such a state,” she said.
“I’m sorry for making you worry,” James answered. “And you have nothing to apologise for.”
“I love you,” Lee whispered, still a little scared of the power behind those three words.
“I love you too,” James said with far more confidence. “And we’ve got an appointment to see our little baby, so we’d better not be late!”
Lee found she couldn't let go of James's hand the whole walk to the hospital. He filled her in on the less stressful details about what had happened while they walked, mainly to stop her mind coming up with all sorts of crazy scenarios. She didn't ask many questions, instead letting him do the talking and marvelling in the fact that he was here. He was okay. Nothing terrible had happened. It was not much further than the walk to the doctor's had been and luckily the weather was much nicer than it had been that morning, so the stroll together was enjoyable. Lee didn’t think she would have really noticed if the heavens had opened and they had been soaked, not after the events of the morning. As they walked she sipped on a bottle of water she had grabbed as they left the café, having remembered in the nick of time that she was supposed to arrive with a full bladder.
The unimaginable events of the day had taken some of the excitement from Lee about the upcoming ultrasound, but she tried to forget what had happened and focus on what was about to happen as she sat in the green hospital chairs, a little uncomfortable as she became more aware of the water she had drunk. This was it. She was going to see her baby for the first time. Her and James's baby. The journey that had led them here had been impossible to predict and yet here they were, waiting to hear Lee's name called.
“I'm so glad you're all right,” Lee whispered into James's shoulder for about the millionth time since they’d left the cafe. James said nothing but simply rested his head against hers and squeezed her hand.
Only ten minutes after the advertised appointment time, a voice called out over the intercom: “Mrs Shirley Jones.” Lee shuddered a little, involuntarily, at the name. The first name she supposed she could do little about; it was her name after all and she would offend her mother greatly if she changed it legally. The second she was actively trying to change, but without her divorce finalised or an attempt to change it by deed poll she would be Mrs Jones for a little longer. She glanced at James as she stood up and was pleased to see the name didn't seem to upset him. For a brief second she wondered if she would ever have the name Knight. Lee Knight. She blinked a little, not knowing where that sudden dream had come from. Marriage could not be on her radar now - not when she wasn't even divorced yet. She supposed it was just the fact that she loved him and he loved her and they were having a baby together. All those things did make one think of marriage, didn't they?
***
“Now, Mrs Jones, isn't it?” the midwife said as she entered the room.
“Please call me Lee,” she insisted, not wanting to hear any more of that surname in this exciting new chapter of her life.
“Very well, and Mr-”
James interrupted. “Mr Knight. James Knight.” He reached out his hand to shake hers.
“Brilliant. So, I've had a look at your dates and you look about 12 weeks, is that right?”
Lee nodded. “I think so. I’ve hardly been exactly regular but that sounds about right.”
“Okay,” said the sonographer, “Well, we'll know soon. This scan tells us what we need for dates and we can start looking see if there's anything we need to be concerned about.” She paused as she saw the worried look on their faces. “I'm sure there won't be,” she said, “But we do need to have a look just in case. Now, let me just confirm a few details about you, Lee. You’re 30, correct?”
Lee nodded; “31 next month.”
“This is your first pregnancy?” Again Lee nodded. “And how have you been feeling?”
“Sick and dizzy,” Lee admitted. “I have to eat every couple of hours else I throw up.”
The midwife gave her a sympathetic look. “Not uncommon I'm afraid in the first trimester but hopefully won't last much past that.” She was brisk and efficient, but made Lee feel like she knew exactly what she was doing. “Right then, if you hop up onto the bed and we’ll take a look. Can I have your pregnancy notes please?” Lee kept hold of James's hand as she settled onto the bed and pulled up her top to expose her slightly rounded tummy. To anyone else it probably looked exactly the same, but Lee could see the differences.
The talk about abnormalities had got her worried, even though she knew that this scan was not just a chance to see her baby. She wasn't old, she knew that, but being over 30 still surely had to have some risks. She certainly wasn't as young as she had planned to be. James, on the other hand, looked content, excited even, and she tried to channel that energy instead.
The midwife continued to fill Lee in about what they would be looking for as she put the cold jelly onto her stomach and swung the monitor round so it was easier to see.
“Right then…” She was quiet then, as she focused on moving the wand across Lee’s stomach to get the right angle.
“There we are,” she finally said, turning and smiling
at the couple. “There’s your little one. Can you see? There’s the head-” She pointed at the screen, which Lee was grateful for. “I’ll just take some measurements, check those dates and see if we can update your due date for you, okay? Then you can empty your bladder – I know, everyone hates it – and wait for the blood tests.”
“Yes, yes, thank you,” Lee said, but she couldn’t take her eyes off that image on the screen. That black and white fuzzy image that was proof, real, tangible proof that there was a life growing inside her. It took a few minutes to turn to James, so engrossed was she in that image, and when she did she realised she needn’t have worried - he was just as fixated as she was. She squeezed his hand this time, and smiled.
“It all seems real now, doesn’t it?” she said.
“It really does,” James said, wiping the corner of his eye with the back of his hand. “It really does.”
“So,” the midwife said after a few more clicks. “It’s all looking good, Lee, James, so nothing to worry about. I would say by the measurements you’re 11 weeks. So… she double checked the calendar on her computer. “Your estimated due date will be October 20th. Now, would you like a copy of the picture?”
“Definitely,” Lee said. “Could we get a couple of copies?”
“I can do you four, if you want?”
“Yes, please,” James said. “I’d love to give my mum one.”
Lee grinned as James brushed strands of her blonde hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. He kissed her then, as they both glanced again at the screen with the frozen image of their baby.
James hand hovered over her stomach. “Can I?”
“Go ahead,” Lee said. He laid his hand gently on the place where the jelly had only just been wiped off, feeling closer to Lee and to this baby than he had thought was possible.
***
The sky was turning a darker shade of blue as they exited the hospital, and Lee leant her head on James’ shoulder and sighed.
“Everything okay?” James asked.
“More than okay,” she answered. “I’m just absolutely shattered.”
“Me too - what a day!”
“Mmhmm. Wouldn’t want to repeat every part of it, that’s for sure!” Lee said. They reached the end of the road and looked at each other.
“Where are we going?” Lee asked. “I didn’t even ask how you got to the cafe earlier.”
“I was dropped off - my car’s still at the station, but it can stay there ‘til tomorrow. Shall we go back to yours?”
“Sounds like a plan.”
“Are you all right walking?”
“All I really want is to be in my pyjamas with a cup of tea,” Lee said. “But I’ll make it up the hill, I guess.”
They walked past the shops that were closing up. Lights still twinkled in their windows, and tired workers were beginning to head back to their other lives. The street lamps had come on already, although it wasn’t completely dark. Slowly, the nights were getting lighter and the memories of winter were fading along with the early evenings. James seemed happy to walk quietly up the hill, and at that moment Lee felt like she couldn’t really spend energy on talking at the same time as walking up the steep incline.
Reaching the door felt like a bit of a mission, just like it had done that morning, but for such different reasons. Lee felt as though the energy had left every fibre of her body, and had never been so grateful to sit down than in that moment where she sank into the sofa cushions and let out a loud sigh.
“Sorry, I know I’m quiet,” Lee said. “I’m just so impossibly tired…” She yawned to punctuate the sentence, proving her point.
“You are growing a human,” James said with a smile.
“And don’t you forget it! And I have a boyfriend who terrified the life out of me for the better half of the day.”
“I know, I know, I’m sorry.”
Lee leaned against his shoulder and felt her eyes instantly flutter closed.
“Lee… I’m not sure falling asleep here is a great idea!” James said.
Lee groaned.
“You know I’m right. Go get into your pyjamas, I’ll make a cup of tea and some dinner. You need to eat - and then you can go to bed. When’s Gina home?”
“What time is it?”
“Just gone five.”
“She’ll be locking up now - back by quarter to six at the latest I’d say.”
“Shall I make dinner for her too then?”
“If you don’t mind!” She dragged herself off the sofa and into her bedroom, which she’d forgotten was stacked with boxes in places that were meant to be out of the way. James certainly was right - there would be way more room at his place for the two of them, and the baby. They could start buying things now, she thought as she changed into her pyjamas. Now that things looked like they were going to be okay, they could buy a cot, and a pram, and all the other things that they were going to need come October. And they could tell people…
That one scared her a bit. Despite her successes in life, she had always been nervous of failure, and even though she didn’t see this as a failure, there was definitely a niggling worry in her mind that some people might see it as that. Or as a mistake… she didn’t want anyone thinking of her little bean as a mistake, because she knew in her heart that it wasn’t. Not planned, perhaps, but definitely no mistake.
She avoided sitting on the bed, because the temptation to just sleep would have been too much and, as much as she hated to admit it, James was right - falling asleep at five without any dinner was not going to be a good way to end the day. Before heading back to James, she took one of the sonogram pictures from her handbag and studied it again, tracing the lines that she could see and smiling. She tucked it into the frame of her mirror, knowing that it would make her smile every time she caught sight of it, and went to find out what had happened to that promised cup of tea.
***
It didn’t take long, after dinner, for Lee to doze off. She felt like this day had taken so much of her energy that she couldn’t stay up to see any more of it - even though it wasn’t yet eight o’clock.
She had shown Gina the scan picture and smiled as James took over, pointing out where the head was to a slightly confused, squinting Gina. James had made a bolognese that had tasted delicious, and Lee and Gina had both marvelled at where he had found the ingredients in their sparse kitchen to throw it together in such a short space of time and at no notice.
With mugs of tea, the three had sat down in the cosy living room, made more so by the candles Gina had lit and the darkness that had fallen outside. James and Lee took the sofa, and Lee had immediately grabbed a blanket and curled up with her head resting on the arm and her feet in James’ lap. Gina had taken the armchair and was similarly cocooned in a blanket - it had become a bit of a ritual every evening that they were together.
“So, fill us in on your big day then, James,” Gina said, hands cupped around her mug. “You’re quite the talk of the town.”
James’ fingers were stroking backwards and forwards across Lee’s ankles; she was unsure whether he was doing it consciously, but the rhythmic action was enough to send her eyes fluttering closed. As James recounted some of the day’s excitement in his steady, calm voice, Lee drifted off into a peaceful sleep, knowing that she was surrounded by people she cared about in this safe, warm space.
It was about half an hour later, when Lee was dead to the world and the topic of the hostage-taking had run its course, that James said to Gina: “I don’t want to wake her, she looks so peaceful there.”
“Leave her for a bit,” Gina advised. “You can always wake her up when you want to go to bed, and she can just move from the sofa to the bedroom.”
“Are you sure I’m not in your way here?” he asked; it had been a long time since he had lived with flat mates, and he certainly didn’t want to be a burden on Lee’s while she slept.
“Nah, it’s fine, honestly. I’m glad you’re okay, after today -
Lee was beside herself.”
“I didn’t mean to worry her,” James said softly, stroking her arm gently under the blanket.
“She knows that. I think it just made it clear how important you are to her - that fear that hit her when she thought you might be in danger.”
James had nothing he could say to that; he knew how important she was to him, and he hoped she felt as strongly.
“She’s been hurt enough by an idiotic man,” Gina said, suddenly sounding a little hostile. “So you make sure you’re not the same.”
“I won’t be,” he reassured her instantly. “I promise you that, and I’ve promised her that. I’m not that sort of man.”
“No,” Gina said, sipping her tea and regarding him over the top of it. “I don’t think you are. I think the two of you are really good together, for the record.”
The South West Series Box Set Page 27
