She slipped out of bed to make a drink, and decided a quick brush of her teeth and hair wouldn’t hurt. As she entered the bathroom, she grinned to see the mess of their clothes dumped hurriedly on the floor. Things had felt a little awkward when he’d turned up, which she presumed was due to the two weeks apart, not to mention the jet lag she assumed he was suffering from. But the shower had certainly cut through any awkwardness, and she felt a sense of relief that he was back from being so far away. She hadn’t liked not being able to see him, and had struggled to ring him at the right time for both of their timezones.
He was still fast asleep when she re-entered the bedroom with a mug of tea and one of coffee for him, so she took the opportunity to fish out her notebook. That last scene felt very much more within her reach now…
It was done. She had filed for a divorce from the man who had wanted to divorce her for so long - possibly since he had said ‘I do’. He would languish in prison for a long time. Murdering his own father was an act so cold, she felt as though she had never known him. Although they had found his accomplice; the woman he had been in love with all this time, the woman he should have married in the first place. If he had done, perhaps none of this mess would have happened.
It was an hour later when she finally put down the pen. Her tea was half drunk, his coffee cold and untouched, and in the notebook in front of her was the first draft of her novel. Finished. She couldn’t quite believe she’d actually done it; stuck at it long enough to get it done. She didn’t know if it was complete rubbish, or whether anyone would actually read it, but she felt a huge sense of achievement in writing ‘The End’ and knowing that there was one more story in the world thanks to her.
Brimming with excitement and energy, she grabbed her phone and snapped a photo of the closed notebook before sending it to Lee. I finished my book!! X
She didn’t know why, but she wanted to tell someone, and Lee had always been her cheerleader, even if she generally thought Beth was being a bit flighty or too spontaneous. She didn’t have to wait long for an answer, and the bing from her phone made her grin - and Caspian stir.
Wow!! So proud of you. Can’t wait to read it! My sister, the author. Xx
You around today for coffee? Beth text back quickly, remembering her promise to Caspian about their next date.
I’m working in the café ‘til 4, if that works? X
Perfect, Beth replied. Someone I want you to meet! X
Lee responded with a string of emojis to show she was both shocked and excited, and Beth put her phone down as Caspian’s eyes flicked open.
“I didn’t mean to wake you,” she said, sat cross-legged on the end of the bed. “Although I hope your mum’s not expecting you for lunch…”
“Is it that late already?” he asked, looking a little sheepish.
“Twelve, or there abouts.”
“Is it awful if I told her I was back tonight so that I could spend more time with you?”
Beth felt her heart melt a little. “Doesn’t sound awful to me.” She leant across the bed to press a kiss to his lips, and felt his unshaven jaw against her delicate skin. “But I may be biased.”
“It’s not even like she’d have a problem with me saying I couldn’t go for lunch,” he admitted. “But I’d feel guilty. And to be honest, I got in the car at the airport and drove straight here. I didn’t really think about it. Does that sound crazy?”
She shook her head, and then laughed. “Well, no more crazy than this whole thing has already been,” she said. “I think we’re just not very good at taking things slow.”
“And you know,” he said, sipping the coffee on the bedside table and then grimacing at how cold it was. “Previously I have had a girlfriend tell me I took things so slowly I might as well be going backwards.”
“Mustn’t have been the right girl,” Beth said.
Caspian smiled. “I think you’re right. Now, any chance of a hot coffee? I’ve got a killer case of jetlag, not to mention how late I was kept up last night…”
“Cheeky! It was hot when I made it, but someone slept in. Besides, I’ve had a very productive morning.”
“Oh?”
Beth couldn’t contain her grin. “I finished the first draft of my novel!”
“That’s amazing!” He got out of bed and bent to kiss her, not bothered by his state of undress. “I can read it now then? You did promise!”
“It’s only a first draft. I need to edit it first - and it needs typing. Which means I need to get a laptop!”
“I’ve got a spare you can have, if you want?” Caspian immediately offered, grabbing her pink dressing gown and appraising it, before wrapping it around himself, readying to search for coffee. “It’s just sat around at mine.”
“Really? That’d be great.” She smiled, following him to the kitchen. “And in return, I’ll follow through on a different promise. How does coffee at my sister’s café sound?”
Chapter 25
The roads were quiet on their drive to Totnes. They took Beth’s car, as Cas still looked a bit tired to be driving. It seemed the rain had finally taken a pause for breath.
“Did you have a good time, then?” Beth asked, overtaking a cyclist who was looking drenched by the earlier downpour. “In New York, New York?”
“It was hectic,” Caspian said, and Beth noted he was managing to keep himself from holding on to the handle above the door. “Meetings, dinners, new clients - the company’s expanding, so I was working pretty much every hour I was there. No time to get over the jet lag at either end…”
“And tomorrow?” she asked, risking a quick glance at him before turning her eyes back to the road. “Do you have to travel again?”
He shook his head, but it was a moment before he answered, and there was a hesitancy in his voice that she didn’t quite understand. “No, I can work from home for at least the next couple of weeks, maybe as much as a month.”
Beth smiled broadly. “Lots of opportunities for amazing dates then, hey?”
***
They parked in a small car park just off from Totnes high street, and wandered through the quiet streets towards Lee’s café. When Beth had previously been here the town was bustling, but it seemed the less than clement weather, combined with the fact that many of the small, independent shops seemed to be closed on Sundays, left the town quieter than usual. The chairs and tables outside the café were, unsurprisingly, empty, but Beth could see through the slightly misted windows that several tables were busy inside.
“There it is,” she gestured, as they came to the door and paused.
Cas looked up at the sign; “Carol’s café?” He glanced at Beth. “Who’s Carol?”
“Our gran,” Beth replied. “She passed away when we were young, but Lee wanted to name the café after her.”
“That’s nice.”
The heavens opened once more, and they hurried inside, the chime of a bell announcing their arrival.
Her sister stood behind the counter, wearing a cupcake-covered apron and with her blonde hair scraped up into a bun. She was cheerily chatting with an older lady who Beth was sure she’d seen here before when visiting. As soon as she saw Beth, however, she made her excuses and hurried over to them.
“Beth! We live closer than we ever have done and I still barely see you,” she said, giving her a hug. “I thought the promise of home-cooked food would have tempted you more often.”
Although Beth enjoyed James’ excellent home-cooked cuisine, she had avoided her sister’s house the last couple of weeks. With Caspian away, she hadn’t felt like she’d been great company - and she hadn’t wanted to discuss the fact that a guy she was casually dating being away had put her in such a bad mood.
“Lee, this is Caspian,” she said, meeting her sister’s eye with a behave-yourself-or-else look. “Caspian, my sister Lee.”
Cas held out his hand to shake hers. “Lovely to meet you,” he said. “I’ve heard a lot about you!”
“She’s b
een quite secretive about you,” Lee said with a wink. “Although I hear you like to swim…”
Beth blushed and pushed her sister none too gently towards a table.
“This is a lovely café,” Caspian said. “I used to come to Totnes for the markets all the time with my mum, but it’s ages since we’ve been. I’ll have to remind her.”
“You’re local then?” Lee asked, taking a seat at the table with them after checking that her co-worker, a young woman with blue hair and a lip-ring, was all right serving.
“Lived in Strete all my life,” Caspian said.
“How lovely,” Lee said. “I wish we’d grown up by the sea!”
“I think you get a bit complacent about it, when you see it all the time,” Caspian said with a shrug. “Beth has made me realise how lucky I am!”
Lee smiled. “You know, my husband says exactly the same thing. Always takes the mickey out of me when I take my shoes off to feel the sand - no matter what the weather!”
“Can we get a drink?” Beth asked, interrupting her sister with a poke.
With a good-natured roll of her eyes to her little sister, Lee took their orders and returned with three steaming mugs. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say my little sister wants to keep you all for herself,” Lee said, ignoring Beth’s blush and glare.
***
“I’ve got something I need to talk to you about,” Cas said, when Lee had left them to go back to the counter after a sudden flurry of customers had come in, presumably to shelter from the rain.
“You met the love of your life in New York and are moving there?” Beth said, unsure why she was even joking about such a thing. Short relationship or not, she knew that would break her heart.
He shook his head with a gentle smile. “No, I promise that did not happen. But…” Beth felt her heart pounding as if it were going to break free of her chest. She felt tense at what words were about to come from his mouth; he seemed nervous. What the hell would he be nervous about telling her?
“Cas?” she prompted, when the silence got too much. She felt like the whole café was silent, when in fact it was buzzing with noise all around them.
“I’ve been offered a promotion. Heading up a new division of the company.”
“Wow, Caspian, that’s brilliant! Congratulations.”
He smiled, but she didn’t feel that rush of warmth that she usually did. That smile did not feel genuine; did not make his eyes shine or her skin tingle.
“It’s in Edinburgh.”
Beth felt her face fall; there was nothing she could do to stop it.
“Oh.”
They were both quiet for a few minutes. Beth wrapped her hands round the mug, trying to find some words, and Caspian didn’t push her.
“That’s still really great, Caspian,” she finally said, attempting to paste a smile on her face. “Running a whole new division, they must really trust you.”
“I haven’t decided if I’m going to take it yet,” he said, sipping the end of his frothy coffee and swirling the dregs round the cup.
“No?” Beth felt some hope in her heart that she knew she shouldn’t be feeling.
“I’ve always lived here,” he said, struggling to meet her eye. “My mum’s here.” He paused, and then there was a flash of his brown eyes meeting hers. “You’re here.”
She sucked in her breath at that; she hadn’t been expecting him to be so candid. She took a deep breath, knowing what she needed to say, knowing what she should say, but finding the words painful to express. “We’ve only been on four dates, Cas,” she said with a sad smile. “You shouldn’t make a life-changing decision based on me.”
It hurt, it physically hurt, when his eyes met hers again. She wanted to shout at him to stay, to of course make the decision based on her, that she wanted to see where this went and what amazing things lay ahead for them, that they needed to give those earth shattering fireworks a chance…
But she knew that wasn’t fair.
She wasn’t expecting to see the hurt bubbling up in his eyes.
She wasn’t expecting to have to fight back tears.
“We should get going,” she said, when he didn’t respond, and he nodded.
She knew Lee could tell something was wrong, but to give her credit, she didn’t comment. Beth was sure she’d get a phone call or at least a text later, but for now she just needed to leave. Just needed to escape the hell her mind had somehow become in the last few minutes.
How could everything have been so perfect, and now be so disastrous?
Chapter 26
The drive back was quiet and awkward. They were almost back in Dartmouth when Caspian finally spoke. His voice cracked slightly, and whether it was through emotion or just a lack of use in the last twenty minutes, Beth wasn’t sure.
“You think I should take it, then?”
Beth took a deep breath before she answered, in an attempt to control her emotions. “I’m not saying that.” She didn’t let the words slip out that she thought might sway him: I don’t want you to go. “I just think you need to think about it. It does sound like an amazing opportunity.”
“It does,” he agreed, and the words felt like the knife was twisting. This was all going to end, she could tell; something which had more promise than any relationship she had ever been in, and it was going to be ruined by geography.
***
He didn’t come up to the flat when they got back, but instead fumbled around for his keys as they said goodbye. A kiss on the cheek, but even that felt forced, and then he was driving into the distance. Of course, he’d promised he’d see his mum, but that didn’t make it any less painful.
Beth ducked behind customers as she entered the chip shop, avoiding Sam’s eye, and slipped up the stairs to her flat. Her bedroom - where they had both happily lain only a few hours earlier, where she had felt so euphoric over finishing the first draft of her novel - made her feel too miserable, so she grabbed the duvet, curled up under it on the sofa and let the tears she’d been fighting finally fall.
***
Four days passed without a word from Caspian, although, if she were being charitable, she could acknowledge that she had not contacted him either. She travelled to work, took round tour groups, ate her lunch alone and came home, feeling the same sense of misery from when she woke up to when she fell asleep. She dodged a couple of phone calls from her sister, knowing she couldn’t be on the phone without crying, and not wanting to show her sister how much this had meant to her - instead firing off some faux-cheery texts about being busy whenever she called.
Her novel sat untouched on the bedside table.
Then, on Thursday, at the end of a long day and a wet journey home, her phone beeped. She took a deep breath, steeling herself for another concerned messaged from Lee, and was surprised to see the name that popped up on the screen.
Caspian
She paused, then clicked to open it.
Are you free Sunday? Come round to mine, you can get that laptop, have lunch with me and my mum. Please? Cas x
The tone puzzled her. Were they even speaking? She was confused as to how they had left things the previous weekend, confused whether it was all over or whether there was still something left to save. But if he were moving to Edinburgh, was there any point?
Are you sure you want me to? X
The reply was almost instant: Yes. Please come. I miss you. X
***
She spent the next forty-eight hours debating whether or not she was going to go. Wouldn’t it be awkward, having lunch with him and his mum when things between them were so up in the air? But then he had asked her to go. Maybe he had something he wanted to say… maybe there was some obvious way forward she was overlooking. She knew that didn’t want things to be over between them; knew that there was a strong attraction there that she hadn’t ever felt with anybody else. But there were the facts to consider: this was just the beginning of a relationship. It was not something well-established, not someth
ing where they’d told each other they were in love, not even where they referred to each other as boyfriend or girlfriend. It was the deliciously exciting beginning - but major life choices, she told herself over and over again, should not made based on four dates.
Beth hadn’t even decided on Sunday morning whether she would be going or not, but by half eleven somehow found herself dressed in a blue dress and leggings, with her hair neatly put up and a bottle of wine in hand. She didn’t know whether wine was even appropriate for Sunday lunch, but she felt odd turning up empty handed, so the bottle of wine was coming.
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