The knock on the door had interrupted this difficult task, and when she opened it up she was surprised to see her sister stood there, a concerned look on her face and a bottle of wine in her hand.
“Lee,” Beth said, fully aware of how awful she must look. “What are you doing here?”
Lee walked in without being invited, and looked her sister up and down. “I was worried. You were weird last week when I saw you, you’ve been dodging my calls and sending me these fake happy messages.” She paused. “And to be totally truthful - and not to sound as harsh as our mother or anything - you look like crap.”
“Thanks.” Beth slumped back onto the sofa, not even bothering to argue it.
“Beth, what’s the matter?” Lee’s voice was full of concern, and it made the tears start flowing from Beth’s eyes. She felt like a tap that it was impossible to turn off.
“Caspian and I… it’s not going to work.”
“Beth, I’ve never seen you like this before over a guy. What happened? What did he do?”
She drained her glass of wine, and without being asked, Lee unscrewed the lid of her bottle and topped it up.
“You’d best get a glass,” Beth said with a sniff, and as her sister poured out some more wine, she proceeded to tell her how royally everything had gone down the drain in the last week.
“Wow,” Lee said, when she got to Caspian asking her to move to Edinburgh with him.
“I know.”
“I mean, I know you’re the flighty type - no offence-”
“Plenty taken,” Beth muttered.
“Oh, you know what I mean. But to move your whole life to another city, another country, the opposite end of the UK - what was he thinking!”
“You moved here for James…”
“I’d already moved here,” Lee said softly. “I stayed for James.”
Beth hiccuped, a result of wine combined with too many tears and not enough food. “Do you think I’m making a mistake?”
“I think you’re being sensible,” Lee said, and although to Lee it sounded like a compliment, Beth wasn’t quite so sure.
“I think I could have loved him,” Beth admitted, and then her tears started all over again Lee pulled her into her arms for a hug, and Beth stayed there for a long time, wishing she was as convinced as Lee that her decision was the right one.
***
She must have fallen asleep there, because the next thing she knew it was pitch black outside, and there was a blanket over her. She squinted around to see if she could see the time on the oven, although the alcohol seemed to have affected her vision somewhat, and saw a sandwich on the counter. 12.34am flashed on the oven. She groaned; work was going to be tough the next day.
She nearly jumped out of her skin when a figure exited the bathroom, and it took her a second or two to realise it was her sister.
“Lee, what are you still doing here!” Beth groaned, sitting up and feeling her head spin. “What about Holly?”
“James is perfectly capable of having a sleepless night having to take care of her on his own,” Lee said with a smile. “And I wasn’t just going to leave you, was I.”
“You should have done,” she said, as Lee brought the sandwich and a glass of water over to the coffee table. “I’m not exactly the best company.”
“No, but you’re my sister. And I was a bit worried you might have given yourself alcohol poisoning…”
Beth gave her sister a light shove. “I just hadn’t eaten. I can handle a bit of wine with my heartbreak, thank you very much.” She forced down a few bites of the sandwich, knowing she really needed to line her stomach.
“It’s only cheese, I’m afraid - all you had in. You need some more food in the fridge!”
“I’ve had other things on my mind, Shirley…”
Lee grimaced, but said nothing.
“Sorry,” Beth said a moment later. “You’re right. And thanks for staying.”
Lee sat next to her and took her hand for a moment. “I’m really sorry Beth. You will meet the right guy, I promise you.”
“What if he was the right guy?”
Lee considered her for a moment. “Then it will work out somehow. I really believe that.”
“Just because you got your happy-ever-after.”
Lee couldn’t help but smile. “But I went through the heart-ache too, remember?” There had been a time when she was crying on Beth’s sofa and downing the wine… a time when she thought things couldn’t possibly work out.
“Why do you always have to be so wise?” Beth asked, swigging the glass of water as though she had been in a desert for several hours.
“It’s the perk of being the big sister.”
Chapter 28
Although she had only really seen Caspian on weekends, somehow now she felt as though she had an abundance of time on her hands that had to be filled, in order to stop her mind from wandering onto more miserable topics. She presumed he had left for Edinburgh, although she hadn’t heard anything from him, and she had told herself she shouldn’t get hold of him. She couldn’t move to Edinburgh; he wouldn’t do long distance. Hearing his voice was not going to fix those two incompatibilities.
Lee had invited her to stay the following weekend, something she thought she would most probably do. As October drew to a close, Lee and James’ wedding plans were ramping up, and that was the guise Lee had invited her over under - maid of honour duties. They both knew that wasn’t the reason, but Beth was happy to pretend otherwise. On the weeknights, to stop herself wallowing, she forced herself to pull out the laptop Cas had leant her, and night by night she painstakingly typed up and edited the handwritten draft of her novel. It gave her something to focus on, and she was always thankful when she look up at the clock and found the hours had slipped by, and it was time to slip into bed - although sleep never came easily, and people at work often commented on how tired she looked. She worked doubly hard at being enthusiastic with the tour groups after these comments; the season had wound down and, although they were keeping her on for now, she had no idea whether there would be enough shifts for her though the winter.
She was pleased to have the distraction to get her through the week, and by the time Friday arrived, she had almost typed out every word in her notebook, not to mention adding to several of the scenes. She didn’t feel quite the same sense of achievement as she had done when she finished the first draft, but she put that down to post-Caspian funk she was in and persevered anyway.
***
When she woke early on Saturday morning, Beth headed straight to Lee’s, a small overnight bag in the back of the car, along with the laptop, just in case she felt like more writing. The weather seemed a little clearer than it had the last couple of weeks, although the leaves of the trees were a burnt orange and Halloween, as well as Holly’s first birthday, was fast-approaching. She felt a sense of relief when she arrived at Lee’s; she felt she needed the company, as well as the noise and excitement of a toddler, to keep her mind distracted.
“I left Exeter because I felt like none of it had any meaning,” Beth said, as they sat making a wedding to-do list at the kitchen table. Holly played happily at their feet in a small, portable ball pit, currently occupied, although neither were sure how long that would last. “My job, guys I went on dates with, spending evenings on my own in that little flat…” She sighed, and took a glug of her tea. “And now I feel like things do have meaning, and I’m bloody miserable.”
Lee reached over and squeezed her sister’s hand. “You will feel better, Beth. It’ll just take time. You still love your flat, right? And your job, and the novel writing…”
Beth nodded. “I guess.”
“Trust me. By the time we get to my wedding, you’ll be on to the next guy.”
Privately, Beth thought that unlikely, but she didn’t want to bring her negativity to all of Lee’s wedding planning.
“Come on then. Distract me.”
They spent a pleasant few hours finalising de
tails and tasting cake samples that had been sent over, with James popping in and out to steal some cake and keep Holly entertained.
“And now,” Lee said, opening up her laptop and typing in a password. “The last of the big jobs - your maid of honour dress. Now, I’ve let Gina choose her own bridesmaid dress - you’ve met Gina, right?”
“Ever-changing hair colour?” Beth asked.
Lee laughed. “That’s her. I didn’t have a clue what to pick that she would like, so I told her to choose one in red and that I’d be happy about it. So it seemed to make sense to let you all choose your own.”
Beth raised her eyebrows. “Miss plan-everything-to-a-T giving up the decision making on bridesmaids’ dresses? Now I’ve seen everything! For your first wedding I had to wear that hideous yellow concoction. I mean…” She paused, realising that she wasn’t really thinking through the words coming from her mouth. “Sorry.”
She didn’t know if Lee would feel uncomfortable with the discussion of her first marriage, or be insulted by Beth’s clear lack of love for the dress she’d been forced to wear, but once again her sister surprised her. She gave a shrug; “Well, the less said about that the better. Anyway, you can do the same - pick a dress in red. We’re paying, of course, although that doesn’t mean you can go crazy…”
“Ha, ha,” Beth said sarcastically. “Like I would. I’m not choosing something without your approval though - it’s your big day!”
“Well, get some ideas, then maybe we can drive to Plymouth tomorrow and try some on, hey? If we combine it with a trip to a soft play place, I’m sure Holly’ll be happy enough.”
It was about twenty minutes into scrolling through pages of red dresses when Lee got up to make another cup of tea. As the kettle boiled, she sat on the floor with Holly, throwing the little plastic balls in the air, much to Holly’s delight.
“Do you think… do you think people will think this is a bit much?” she asked all of a sudden.
“What?” Beth had been distracted by the dresses, and had not really heard her sister’s question.
“You know. Having a whole big wedding, a white dress, when this is my second time down the aisle.”
Beth looked away from the screen and focussed her eyes on her sister.
“Of course not! What makes you think that?”
“Just thinking about my last wedding, I guess. I thought that was it, one time only, and now I’m doing it all again. To be honest, I’d be happy with something much smaller, but I want James to have a big day to remember too. After all, he’s not done this before.”
“Lee,” Beth said,unusually dispensing the advice rather than being on the receiving end of it. “Nate destroyed your marriage. He was a cheating scumbag-” She avoided using the expletives she felt he deserved, as little ears were definitely listening intently “-and he could have ruined your life. But you got back on your feet, got a whole new life and you’re properly, truly happy. Do not let him ruin your fairytale wedding; you deserve it. You both do.”
“Thanks, Beth,” Lee said, getting up of the floor to finish making the tea. “You can be pretty wise yourself sometimes, you know.”
Beth grinned. “You and James are all that gives me hope in it all working out. You know, true love, happily every after. I’ve got to believe in you!”
“No pressure, eh!”
***
Beth stayed up late in the guest room that night, putting the finishing touches to the first draft of her novel. Well, the second draft, she corrected herself; a lot of changes had been made as she’d transferred the text from her notebook to the screen.
She’d promised Caspian he could be the first to read it, but that didn’t seem likely now. She sighed as she closed the lid; perhaps Lee would want to read it. Somehow, letting anyone other than Cas comment on it first felt wrong, and so perhaps it would be destined to languish on the laptop for a long time to come…
***
“I am absolutely exhausted,” Beth said dramatically as she threw herself down on the sofa, not bothering to take off her coat or put the down the many bags she was carrying. Lee carried a sleeping Holly, and flicked on the light switches as they walked in to illuminate the dark house. James was working late, and so the house had been empty most of the day; it felt cold and she looked forward to lighting the fire.
“Me too,” Lee said, lying Holly down on the sofa next to Beth. “And now she’s fallen asleep so late, I’ll not have a hope of getting her down at bedtime! Still, a drive like that was bound to send her off to sleep.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever tried on so many dresses or pairs of shoes in my life!”
“Hmm,” Lee said with a smile. “I’m not sure that’s completely true. At least we found one though!” Not only had they found a dress for Beth for the wedding, as well as matching shoes and a clutch, they had also found dresses they both loved for the next time they went on a night out (”Although when that will be, with a one-year-old, God only knows,” Lee had commented as they paid), some new clothes for Holly and a jumper that she thought would match James’ blue eyes perfectly.
“Takeaway for dinner?” Lee asked, and Beth nodded. “It’s awful, most nights James cooks, and then he’s not here and I just get a takeaway!”
“You work two jobs and look after a toddler, you deserve it. Besides, you know neither of us is any good at cooking!”
“I’m trying to learn!” Lee said from the kitchen. “But, like you said, limited time. Chinese or Indian?”
Beth thought for a moment. “Indian!” she shouted back, and Lee reappeared with a takeaway menu.
“They’re not online… it’s old school phoning up and ordering! Pick what you want - I’m going to go and get Holly at least ready for bed. Since she had her dinner so early, she’ll probably need a snack… the routine is definitely out the window today!”
She disappeared upstairs while Beth perused the menu, before hearing a call of “There’s wine in the fridge!” Although Beth felt she had probably drunk more wine in recent weeks than was really prudent, it would be rude to refuse - and as she was off work again the next day (due to Greenway being closed for a private wedding that certainly did not need a tour guide), she didn’t need to worry about getting home tonight, or having a hangover the next morning.
She poured large glasses of wine for both of them, knowing Lee wouldn’t touch hers until James was home to be in charge of Holly, but feeling better about not drinking alone, and took a long sip of the cool, crisp white wine.
“Decided?” she asked, and Beth nodded.
“Prawn balti,” she said. “And whatever rice and naan bread you want.”
“I’ll order something for James too, then when he gets in he can reheat it. Wife-to-be of the year, hey!”
“He’s lucky to have you.”
***
By the time James got home, Beth was a little giggly from a second glass of wine. Lee joined her then, and the three of them sat on the sofa, James hungrily tucking in to his reheated curry.
“When did you know you loved Lee, James?” she asked.
“Beth!” Lee exclaimed. “You don’t just ask people things like that.”
“He’s not people. He’ll be my brother-in-law in six weeks time!”
James smiled. “If I say the first time I saw her, is that too soppy for you?”
“Yes,” Beth said, suddenly feeling a little morose.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to upset you!” It must have shown on her face, then, although she was trying to look carefree.
“I’m fine,” she said, knowing that the wine was no longer helping her mood.
“He’s an idiot, if he can’t see what a good thing he’s got,” James said, and although Beth didn’t know how much of the situation he knew about, his words were kind.
“Maybe I didn’t know what I had…” she mumbled, and when no-one jumped into the conversation, she found her mouth continuing to talk without any real thought. “He wanted to jump all in - I’
m the one who didn’t want to move my whole life to another city.”
“Another country!” Lee added. “Beth, he shouldn’t have asked you, shouldn’t have put that pressure on you. And he should have given long distance a go.”
“Is it possible,” James asked, “- and please tell me if this is none of my business - that he was hurt by you saying no?”
Beth paused, trying to consider his words but finding her head a little fuzzy. What was it he’d told her on the beach? His greatest fear was being left heartbroken.
Had she hurt him?
The South West Series Box Set Page 54
