Caught by surprise, he simply answered, “Guess so. Why?”
“I wanted to talk with you.”
Oh boy. Here it comes. She knows, and she’s got to let me know that she knows.
“Okay. What about?”
“You and Elizabeth.”
Sometimes I hate being right. He felt his defenses already springing to life.
“Me and Elizabeth? What? What about us? I mean her and me. Separately.”
“Oh, relax, dork. I’m not here to mess with you. I’m just curious.”
Jamie sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. “Curious about…?”
“Do you like her?”
He felt his teeth clench. He wasn’t mad as much as he felt trapped. “C’mon. I don’t really want to talk about this.”
“Well, you’ve made it pretty obvious.”
“No, I haven’t!”
“Oh yes, you have. It just started this year too.”
“Now, how would you know that?”
Jenna smiled and appeared to stifle a giggle. “The way that you look at her has changed. When she’s not looking at you, you’re looking at her. When she is looking at you, you pretty much look at the ground.”
“Jenna. That’s not—”
“Yes, it is.”
Now he felt the heat of anger rising.
“Oh, don’t get mad. I’m not here to pick on you. I just wanted to get your side.”
“My side?” He sat up, dropped his arms to the table, and stared into his sister’s eyes. “You’ve been talking to her about it?”
“We’ve talked.”
“About?”
“You.”
Jamie stood up, knocking his chair backward onto the ground. He walked three steps from the table, then turned around. “You talked about me? Why?”
This time Jenna giggled. “Come on, Jamie. Relax! Seriously. It’s not a bad thing!”
He crossed his arms again. “So, cough it up. What’s the deal with your talk?”
“Well, at first she didn’t really notice. Not sure how, when you were so obvious about it.”
He scowled at her.
“We were talking about her being a part of the family—how we viewed her like one of us. I might have said.…” She paused.
“You might have said…?” He paused for a response. “What? What did you say, Jenna?”
“…that there was an exception in the family as to how she might be viewed.”
“You what?!”
Jamie leaned his head back, closing his eyes briefly in exasperation. He croaked out a quiet “Oh, nooo” and walked a small loop around the deck.
Reaching the table again, he groaned, “How could you?”
“So, I’m right. You do have feelings for her.”
It wasn’t a question. He could tell, though, that she wanted her assumption verified.
Jamie walked over to the chair and brought it upright. He sat down in defeat.
“I don’t know, okay?”
“But you think she’s good looking, right?”
Another scowl. “Really, Jenna? We’ve got to talk about that too?”
“Listen. If it’s true, there are just some things that need to be … I don’t know … dealt with? …taken into consideration?”
“Things like…?”
“Well, first, the obvious: she’s not a Christian.”
It struck Jamie that he’d never even considered that as negative. In fact, he’d not even thought about it. It also struck him that his sister was concerned about that on his behalf.
“Okay. Yeah. I guess that’s true.”
“She’s also older than you.”
Jamie shrugged. “Not by much.”
“Maybe not in your eyes, but she’ll be seventeen in a few months, and it would still be a senior dating a sophomore. Maybe she’d think it was a little awkward. I don’t know, I didn’t ask. On the plus side, though, you’re taller and don’t really look younger than her.”
Yeah, I had already thought about that.
“Anything else you’ve just got to inform me about?”
Jenna got quiet. Jamie could tell that she was debating whether she should say anything else. Maybe he should help her along.
“What is it you’re not saying?”
She relented. “I think there’s a possibility that she could…” Her sentence stalled, and her head bobbed left and right a couple of times in debate of what words to use. “…lean your direction.”
“She could what?” He could hardly believe what he’d just heard. “You think she likes me?”
“I didn’t say that. Settle down. I’m just saying that she didn’t sound opposed. Now, that does not mean that she’s in favor either. She just didn’t puke when she heard you might like her.”
“Oh, you’re funny.” He rolled his eyes then shook his head.
“Listen, I’m leaving for college. I’m not going to be around for … for whatever happens. I know this is going to sound a bit weird, but I care about you and about her.”
Okay, I guess that’s kind of cool to hear.
“I don’t want you to get hurt, and…”
“I’m a big boy, Jenna.”
“…and … I want her to know Jesus.”
That took Jamie aback.
“Wait, how does me liking her—or vice versa—have anything to do with her knowing Jesus?”
Jenna leaned forward and mirrored Jamie, resting her forearms on the surface of the glass table. She looked directly into his eyes. “What’s more important to you, Jamie? Her looks? The way she thinks about you? Romance? Or that she knows Jesus as her Savior?”
Jamie reached for the answer that he knew she wanted to hear—the one he should say; the right answer.
“It’s most important that she knows Jesus.” He almost added, I guess.
Jenna didn’t break her gaze. “Do you remember back when all of that Picti stuff was going on in Pittston? Stephanie and Brendan and all of that mess?”
“Yeah. Of course.”
“Well, Mom and Dad asked me back then if I wanted to be a part of all the stuff that was going on, seeing as how I’d kind of fallen into the midst of it all by discovering a couple of things. Anyway, they sat me down in the living room and then asked me a question that absolutely shook me. It hurt me so deeply that I still cry about it sometimes.”
Jamie went from defensive to curious in a mere moment. He could even see sadness touching her eyes. “What … what was the question? What happened?”
Jenna looked a little embarrassed and broke her eye contact with him. “Dad made sure that he had my full attention and asked me a simple question that basically changed everything. He said, ‘Tell me about your relationship with God, Jenna.’
“I became so defensive. Immediately, I wanted to bolt and head for my room. It wasn’t a subject I wanted to talk about.”
Jamie knew what was coming. He was almost certainly feeling the same thing that she’d felt back then, but instead of bolting like she’d wanted to, he swallowed hard and looked down.
Barely above a whisper, he said, “But it’s a subject you want to talk about now.”
“No, not really. But I think God wants me to.”
“Mom and Dad didn’t suggest this talk?”
“No. Only God.”
Excuses immediately started to stir into Jamie’s thoughts. And for a reason easy to understand, he remembered a phrase that his dad had used with him once.
A year or so back, Jamie had seen something happen at school. A guy he’d occasionally hang out with had just flat out stolen something from a kid who hadn’t been big enough to do anything about it. Jamie had just stood there and watched it happen. It wasn’t for fear that something would happen to him, because he knew he could defend himself. No, instead, it had simply been easier not to let his “friend” know he’d seen him do it.
The event had messed with h
im all day long after school, to the point that he approached his dad about it. After explaining the whole situation, he was put on the spot and challenged.
“It’s your conscience, Jamie. You saw an injustice take place, and you could have done something about it. But you chose the easy way out. You’re a better man than that.”
His dad had called him a man for the first time in his life, and he had been only fourteen. That circumstance, though, wouldn’t allow him to feel good about it.
“And when a man sees someone hurt or sees someone take advantage of someone else, and if he’s got the ability to make things better or make things right,” his dad had continued, “then he’s got to man up. It’s what separates the men from the males. Be the man you would be happy being.”
That next day, he did “man up.” He made it clear that if his friend didn’t give back what he’d stolen, he’d have to deal with a set of consequences that he wouldn’t like. The kid was pretty rattled that someone would stand up to him like that and said, “Okay, man. Chill. I’ll give it back.” Jamie made sure it took place with an added apology. He’d lost a friend that day but met a man within himself that he could live with and respect.
A pretty good trade.
Now, the phrase hung in the air before him: man up.
He sighed.
“So, you want to know about my walk with God, is that it?”
Jenna, with sincerity in her eyes, just nodded.
“Not the best. I hadn’t been thinking about Elizabeth’s need for God. I’m sure that makes things pretty clear.”
“Trust me, I get it,” Jenna replied. “I told Mom and Dad that I couldn’t be seen as a ‘Jesus freak’ in school. I felt so ashamed when I said that.”
“I don’t know that I’d have a big problem with that,” responded Jamie. “More like … not thinking that sharing Jesus is something I should be responsible for. Maybe that’s even worse … not caring.”
“What I found out about me was that, because I didn’t have a close relationship with Jesus, I didn’t have a heart for what—for whom—he has a heart for.” Jenna’s eyes filled with tears. “It sucks to think about. I was willing to just let my friends to go hell because I wanted to remain popular.”
Conviction hammered at Jamie’s conscience. Before he could respond, Jenna had something else she needed to say.
“Jamie, I love you. A little weird to say it, but it’s true. I know you’re a believer, and that’s good. I’m so glad for that. But I think you’re missing the same thing that I was missing: Jesus wants to be your deepest and best friend. He’s God, and yet he wants us to know him on such an intimate level. It’s still hard for me to comprehend.
“He wants to talk with you. Well, he already is, but he wants you to know that he is. He wants to use you, do great things through you. And I’m sure that Jesus wants there to be people in Heaven as a result of you deciding to participate in his plans.”
Jenna stopped. Her silence caused Jamie to look up at her. She had tears rolling down her cheeks, rolling toward a smile that seemed to glow. Not a hint of condemnation in her eyes. “You are his favorite son, Jamie Lawton. His very favorite.”
Something welled up in Jamie in that moment. Something strong and nearly overwhelming. He felt his lower lip tremble and his eyes grow misty. In a voice that cracked as he spoke, he asked, “How can you say that? It’s not true.” He shook his head while looking at her. A tear slid down his right cheek. “You know that’s not true.”
Jenna’s voice was full of emotion. If it were possible in that moment for her smile to get any bigger, any more radiant, it did.
“Yes, Jamie. It’s so very true. As Mom put it, God has no favorites. That means that he loves no one more than he loves you. He has no one that he considers a favorite more than he considers you his favorite. And think about it in the reverse: No matter how bad you feel about yourself, God doesn’t feel the same way about you. And he’ll prove it to you—if you’ll let him.”
Chapter 24
N
o! Wait! Stop! Turn around, he’s right…”
“Aww, man!”
“…there!”
“You were supposed to have my six!”
“You ran from cover, knowing that one of them could respawn close to us.”
Zach dropped his controller onto the floor. “Well, do you want me to respawn or are you going to take a bullet?”
“About to become a prime target.” Jamie walked his avatar right into the middle of a deserted outdoor marketplace, already bullet-ridden and filled with smoke. Three seconds later, it was lights out. He dropped his controller onto the floor too.
“We’ve done better,” remarked Zach.
“You don’t have to tell me that.”
Zach got up and turned off the TV and Xbox 360.
“So, what now?” asked Jamie.
“Well, you could have dinner with us.”
“Depends.”
“Mom!” Zach yelled. “What’s for dinner?”
His mom walked to the doorway at the top of the stairs. “Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and green beans.”
“Homemade?” asked Jamie quietly.
“Think so,” came the quiet response.
“I’m in.”
“Cool.” Zach turned back toward the stairs. “Hey, Mom! Can Jamie stay for dinner?”
“Sure. Why not? But he’s eating what would have been your leftovers.”
Zach looked at him with a big grin. “You’re welcome.”
Jamie got up, and they both walked upstairs from the finished basement of the Miller household. Jamie could smell the meatloaf now. Nice.
“How long?” asked Zach as he walked into the kitchen.
“About twenty minutes.”
Zach led Jamie through the dining room and to the rear sliding glass door. It was a decent day. Mid-70s but overcast.
They both walked outside and into the yard.
“Toss the ball?”
“Yeah, sure.”
Zach walked over to a football lying near the deck and threw it over to Jamie.
“So, how’s the romance with Elizabeth coming?”
Jamie took the opportunity to hurl the football back at his friend.
“Dude, don’t even.”
Zach laughed. “All right. But are you going to do something? Tell her? Ask her out?”
Jamie knew that Zach was going to bring it up eventually. He was actually surprised that they’d made it through a couple hours of gaming before he did.
Zach tossed the ball back to Jamie, and back and forth it continued through the air.
“She already knows.”
“She what?!”
“Jenna told me today that she ‘became aware’ a few days ago.” Jamie rolled his eyes.
“How?”
“Sometimes Jenna just doesn’t know how to stay quiet. She figured it out and told Elizabeth.”
Zach let out a laugh.
Time to turn the table.
“You believe in God, right?”
Zach caught the ball and paused. He shrugged. “I guess so. Why?” He threw the ball back.
“Just on my mind lately. Come to church with me this Sunday.”
“Okay. Sure.”
Wow. That was easy. “Great. I’ll try to get Jenna to drive the four of us.”
“Wait. With Jenna and Elizabeth?”
“Yeah. Maybe.”
“So, is this like a double date?”
“Watch it, now.” Jamie grinned.
“I get to sit next to your sister.”
“Dude! Stop it!”
“What color’s her hair? Is that auburn? It’s like a combination of your mom’s and dad’s hair.” Then he grinned at Jamie.
That pushed Jamie’s button. He walked over to Zach, handed him the ball, and after giving him a reassuring smile, punched him in the arm.
Zach laughed.
Fifth time is the charm, apparently.
They looked perfect.
So, what’s next?
He looked at his collection of tools. Props. Physical deceptions.
Camera and shoulder case, business cards and business card holder, two cell phones, and model portfolios.
For the past two days, he’d been on a mission to put together the perfect ruse. He figured that the only way he was going to make MayB4U comfortable enough to go out with him—an older man—was to make sure he sold himself as a professional that she’d most likely be attracted to. He was sure that “computer nerd” wasn’t on her list of must-haves.
Fortunately for him, though, his mother had been a freelance photographer for a good many years, and memories of their times together birthed a great plan.
Drew scoured the Internet for some professional model photo shoots and found five models for whom he was able to create fake portfolios, about a dozen photos of each model per binder.
Printing their pictures onto glossy photo paper had been as easy as they were convincing. Loading an additional thirty pictures of one of the selected models onto the SD card of his camera was also, as far as he was concerned, a stroke of genius.
He removed the freshly printed business cards from the “smooth edge” cardstock and placed all ten of them into his card case.
This is going to work.
It had taken hours each day to get everything prepared. And now it was done. A nervous excitement flowed through him like electricity.
Drew grinned.
He thought about the next day. The trick would be getting to Millsville and scouting out the right eatery. There were three that seemed to match the moniker of family restaurant. He supposed that the easiest way to find out which one she worked in was to simply go into each and pretend that he was looking for a friend who may have already been seated. He’d walk into the dining area and just look at the waitresses. If none of them matched the photos he had received, he’d just make his way to the next restaurant on the list.
Everything is perfect. It’s going to be fun meeting you, Miss MayB4U.
That Dark Place Page 14
