by Janie Crouch
“I’m living with Jordan.” Her eyes narrowed, and she took a step back, going on the offensive. “Do you have a problem with that?”
He ignored her attempt to deflect and change the subject. “How long have you lived with her?”
He could see the wheels turning in her head, trying to find a way to spin this. And suddenly it all made sense: her lack of sleep, her weight loss, catching her at the Cactus.
“Are you lying again now?” he asked. “If I go out to your car and open the trunk, am I going to find everything you own inside that BMW? Goddammit, Charlie,” he slammed his palm down on his coffee table, “are you homeless?”
She didn’t look at him, and that told everything. He couldn’t believe this. Now he got up and began pacing.
“No,” she finally answered. “You won’t find all my stuff in the car. I’m telling the truth, I moved in with Jordan.”
“When?” he asked, his words no less deadly for their low volume.
“This morning, after our shift last night.”
“And before that?”
“You were right.” She wrapped both arms around her chest, hugging herself. “I was mostly staying in my car, or a couple nights a week at the Cactus.”
Finn wasn’t even sure how to respond. Rage, fear, disbelief all warred inside his brain.
He wasn’t just angry at her, he was pissed at himself. He’d known something was wrong. All the pieces had been right in front of him and he’d just refused to put them together. Hell, he’d seen all the stuff in her car. He’d watched her wear the same outfit over and over. He’d seen her lose weight right in front of his eyes.
“Jesus, Charlie, why didn’t you tell someone? If not me, then someone else?”
Her shoulders hunched, and she didn’t look at him. “I made my choice eight years ago. When I turned my back on you, I turned my back on this town. Everybody knew it.”
He scrubbed a hand over his eyes. “Fine, nobody liked what happened between us. But none of them would’ve let you live in your car, for God’s sake.”
Her frown turned mutinous. “It was my problem to handle.”
“You’re too damn stubborn for your own good.” He threw up his hands.
She just shrugged. “Too proud and too stupid also if you’re keeping an accurate record of all my wrongdoings.” She sank back down on the couch.
He wanted to hold on to his anger, wanted to rant and rave about the danger she’d put herself in, but he had to face the simple fact. If she had stayed in that condo, she would’ve died in that fire. Homeless for a few months didn’t seem so bad in comparison.
But no matter what, it was proof that she still didn’t trust him. She hadn’t really ever trusted him. Not eight years ago. Not now.
He sighed and sat back down beside her. “Are you really living with Jordan? Because you can damn well bet I’m going to be coming over there. A lot. It’s only a couple miles from here.”
She curled up beside him up. He couldn’t stop himself from pulling her entire body onto his lap. Her arms wrapped around his neck. “I promise. She and I worked out a deal that is kind of perfect for both of us. So, no more sleeping in my car or at the Cactus.”
“Do you know how much danger you were in?”
Charlie wiggled herself around, so she was facing him, straddling his hips. “You mean the worst sort, like a druggie attacking me?”
“Yes, that’s exactly what I mean.”
“Do you recall the rest of that story, where I was rescued by a handsome soldier who then took me to his bed and kept me in a state of sexual delirium for the next two days?” She ground herself against him, her smile pure evil femininity.
He couldn’t hold on to the anger. He was so happy to have her here, alive, safe with him. But two could play at that game. He reached under her skirt, where she was still naked, and drew light circles around her clit.
“Yes, it’s all very dangerous. The sort of stuff that can lead to this.” He leaned her back on one arm and moved his head down to suck hard on her nipple through her thin top. He alternated between the two until she was grinding against his fingers.
He gave her a just a few more seconds, driving her closer to losing control, before he stopped suddenly, grabbed her by the waist and stood, moving her away. She cried out in protest.
“Hey!”
“See? Told you it was dangerous. Now we’ve got to see the sheriff and prove you’re alive. Maybe if you’re good we can pick back up where we left off.”
Those blue eyes narrowed dangerously. “Be careful, Bollinger. Turnabout is fair play.”
He reached over and kissed her. “I’m counting on it.”
Being alive was a lot more work than Charlie had planned. Sheriff Nelson was glad to see her, although they were all saddened about the death of Cynthia Reynolds, the woman Charlie had sublet her condo to.
“Don’t you own it anymore?” Finn had asked.
“No, I had to sell it during my parents’ financial crisis. But I couldn’t bear to let it go completely, so I leased it back, even when I wasn’t living here.”
She didn’t tell Finn the reason the thought of letting it go had been so painful was because of him. That had been the place they’d always thought they would start their life together.
“Brandon knew how much I loved it, so at first he paid for it, but when we divorced, I took over the payments.” She shrugged. “When I needed more for Dad’s care, subletting seemed like the easiest solution. Both Cynthia and I were trying to save money, so we didn’t go through official channels. She just paid me every month, and my name is still on all the lease papers.”
It wasn’t surprising, given the circumstances, that everyone thought the dead woman had been Charlie. She spent the rest of the afternoon working through details: finding Cynthia’s information for the sheriff so he could contact her family, then talking to the condo managers, insurance representatives, and even a fire inspector.
That one threw her a little. Evidently, although it wasn’t impossible the fire had been an accident since it was a gas leak that had caught a spark, they were still considering foul play.
Charlie hadn’t known Cynthia well enough to know if anyone wanted to hurt her, but the police would be looking into it.
Her date with Finn had been postponed. That made her both sad and happy. Sad because honestly, she would take every second Finn would give her . . .not to mention she’d never turn down a full meal for the rest of her life.
But also because. . .he wanted to have the talk. About how what was between them was nothing permanent. That it was sex, maybe even fantastic sex, but that was all. About how he was never going to be able to fully forgive her or trust her again, forget ever loving her.
He wouldn’t say it like that, of course. Honestly, he probably didn’t even think of it like that. Instead the words casual and friendly and light would be part of the conversation. And smiles. Just wanting to make sure she understood, you know? So no one got hurt.
She could see and hear it perfectly coming from Finn’s sexy lips. And she would smile and nod in return and pray he couldn’t see her heart shattering.
And in a few weeks when he was done with her, when someone in town warned him about getting burned by the same flame twice and he took that advice to heart that time, she would just have to let him go. And never let him see how she ached for so much more. How she yearned for everything with him.
Knowing she’d had that everything once and let it go . . . it was the most unbearable of weights. Crushing. But what she’d told him about being homeless applied to this also: it was her problem to handle.
She’d avoided the talk tonight, since she’d had to go straight to work by the time she was done with everything concerning the fire. Work was at least easier, now that she had somewhere to go after, somewhere safe to really get a good night’s sleep.
The next morning, Finn showed up unannounced at Jordan’s house. They had rescheduled her session with Ethan, an
d Finn said he was just offering her a ride into town. But Charlie knew he was making sure this living arrangement was legitimate.
As they climbed into the Jeep, Ethan smiling in the back seat, Finn raised an eyebrow when she accused him of not trusting her. “Me not trust you to give me all the details? How could that ever happen?”
That was an argument she would never win, so she let it go.
Later, Finn insisted on taking her to the Frontier after the tutoring session.
“Come on, Charlie. Everybody has to eat,” Ethan argued, standing next to Finn, looking so much like his dad her heart clinched. “And it’s key lime pie day!”
To the little boy, that obviously settled all arguments.
“Then I guess I must,” she said.
The words were barely out of her mouth before Ethan was asking Finn if he could go ahead. And of course, Mr. Mazille caught Ethan running again on his way out.
“You know we really shouldn’t be seen together any more than we have been,” she said as they exited the library and walked toward the diner. “Rumors are already starting to fly.”
Finn just shrugged. “I’m not afraid of them. People around here are going to talk regardless. They’ll move on to the next thing when they realize there’s nothing to see here.”
He smiled and she somehow managed to return it. Nothing to see here. Maybe she didn’t even have as much time left with him as she’d thought.
She tried to remind herself that any time was more than she’d ever thought she would get, but as he put his hand on the small of her back and led her into the Frontier, she couldn’t quite convince herself.
“Are you okay?” he asked after they’d settled in and ordered. “You’re a little quiet.”
She managed a smile again. “Yeah. Just everything, you know. The fire, settling in at Jordan’s place.”
And the fact that everyone inside was, in fact, staring at them. Word about the fire had spread, and people were more curious about the two of them sitting together than ever.
“Tell me what’s wrong, princess.”
Nothing. Everything. Just waiting on you to decide when you’re going to shred my heart into pieces.
“I don’t—”
The door of the diner burst open and Riley Wilde came running in. Charlie would’ve thought the ER nurse was there to announce some citywide emergency if it weren’t for the huge grin splitting her face.
“Boy Riley is here. It’s time for the back-to-school special!” she yelled.
Charlie had no idea what the younger woman was talking about.
“Where?” Wavy asked.
“The quarry. Jumping from Pikes Peak.” Riley was fairly humming with excitement. “Broadcasting live.”
“How? Helicopter?” Charlie was surprised to hear the question come from Finn. “Pikes Peak isn’t accessible by any trails.”
If possible, Riley’s grin got bigger. “Free climb. Going up will be just as big a danger as coming down. Don’t worry, a safety team is in place, as always. One hour, people! Picnic and party after.”
She ran out the door as fast as she had run in.
“Last call!” Wavy yelled.
Charlie turned to Finn. “Can you please explain what is going on? Did Riley just come in here, refer to herself as a boy in the third person, and announce she was about to jump off Pikes Peak, which is basically tantamount to suicide?”
Finn began shoveling his food in his mouth. “No,” he said between bites. “She wasn’t talking about herself. She was talking about Riley Harrison.”
“I don’t know who that is. Should I?”
“He’s a local celebrity. Hell, he’s a celebrity everywhere. A YouTube extreme sport sensation. We all call him Boy Riley since we already had one Riley addicted to extreme sports in the town. He does a lot of traveling all over, different stunts and stuff, but he’s back here a few times a year. Mostly, I think, for Girl Riley.”
“Nobody cares that he might be about to kill himself by climbing and jumping off Pikes Peak?” She looked around. Everyone was rapidly eating and paying, obviously about to head out for the show. “I mean, is the Frontier actually going to close right in the middle of the day?”
Finn laughed. “Everything is, except the hospital. Watching Boy Riley is sort of a phenomenon and a tradition over the last few years. Town-wide picnic.”
“It just sounds dangerous and a little reckless. I’m not sure I want to witness that.”
“I’m ready, Dad!” Ethan yelled from the bar. “I’ll just have to eat key lime pie next week.”
“You’re going to let Ethan go?” she asked.
Finn reached over and chucked her on the chin. “Come on, Charlie. Dangerous and reckless used to be your middle name. Don’t you want to see what is worth missing key lime pie day for?”
“I—I . . .” What was her problem exactly? She had no idea.
Now Finn’s fingers trailed down her cheek. “It’s been too long for you, princess. That might make me most sad of all.”
“Too long for what?”
“Since you remembered what it was like to just sit back and enjoy a day of fun.”
Charlie jerked back to start arguing but stopped at Finn’s raised brow.
“You want to tell me that’s not true? When was the last time you did nothing?”
“I do nothing all the time.” She lowered her volume. “I spent a great deal of time doing nothing but hanging out naked in bed with you last weekend.”
He smiled and took his last bite. “And I enjoyed that very much. But even then, you weren’t relaxed. Your brain is always running a million miles an hour. You’re always working angles, figuring out how to rob Peter to pay Paul. Deciding if what you’re doing is the most efficient use of your time or if you should be doing something else instead. Always bracing yourself for whatever life throws at you next. Even with me. Maybe especially when you’re with me.”
She stared at him. All of what he’d said was true. But she never thought he’d noticed.
He reached over and took her hand, bringing her fingers to his lips. “Come do nothing with me. No worrying about the future or the past, just enjoying the sunshine and water, each other, and some crazy kid attempting a stunt we might have been stupid enough to try at one time. Just be, Charlie. For one afternoon, just be.”
She nodded. What else could she do?
He grinned. “Good. We’ll have to stop by your house because you’ll have to just be in a bikini.”
Literally half the town was here for the event. The quarry, which wasn’t one at all, but a large lake, was surrounded by cliffs on three sides. Two were relatively low and could be reached by trails. One even had a small rope ladder leading up from the water. During the summer, Oak Creek residents could be found swimming and jumping and, ahem, doing other things if Charlie’s high school memories served correctly.
As she laid out on the blanket Finn had set up, letting her skin soak in the sun’s rays, she realized how right he had been. For months, years if she was honest, she’d just been waiting for the next bad thing. She peeked up at Finn, who was with Ethan in the water. Everyone was playing now, and eating, and enjoying a part of life you could only find in a small town.
Boy Riley had finished his stunt, filmed everything, and gotten over fifty thousand hits on his website in the first two hours, from what she’d heard. Everyone was laughing, talking, and congratulating him. Charlie rolled onto her stomach and propped her chin on her hands to see them better. His arm hadn’t left Girl Riley’s waist since the moment he’d exited the water.
Movement at the far side of the clearing caught her attention. Someone was standing there, watching everything going on—the laughing, the playing—but not coming any closer. It took Charlie a minute to realize it was Jordan. She’d seen the other woman at the house when she’d run inside to change, had invited her to come, although she’d adamantly refused.
It took guts for her to be here now. Charlie didn’t want her
to feel alone. She was about to sit up to get the other woman’s attention when freezing droplets of water on her back had her screeching and falling back on the blanket.
Finn laughed. “You should come in the water.”
She sat up and faced him. “I was just going to invite . . .” She looked over to where Jordan had been standing but couldn’t see her anymore. Maybe she’d found someone else to hang out with. Probably best. “Never mind. But I think those drops were plenty for me. Where is Ethan?”
“I lost him to Jess and Sky.” Finn pointed to a little girl, maybe three years old. She and Ethan were building things out of small pieces of wood they could find on the shore of the lake. A puppy was dashing back and forth between them.
“Looks like they’re having fun. It’s nice he would play with someone younger than him.”
Finn sighed. “I used to think that too until I realized he doesn’t want to play with anyone except Jess. Ethan doesn’t have any friends his own age. No matter what I’ve tried, he would rather hang out with that little girl. Don’t get me wrong, I love Jess, and her mom, Peyton, works part-time at Linear. So, they are like family.”
“But you just wish Ethan had some friends besides family,” she finished for him.
“Exactly. I’m worried he has emotional challenges to go along with his academic ones.”
“They do sometimes go hand in hand. Do you mind me asking about his mother? How long have you guys been divorced?”
She didn’t think he’d married a local girl. She would’ve heard about that. But given Ethan’s age, Finn had to have gotten married not long after her own wedding to Brandon. Maybe someone he’d met in the Army.
“We weren’t ever married.” Finn’s words were clipped.
“Oh. Is she part of Ethan’s life now?” Maybe Finn only had custody of Ethan during the summer. That wasn’t uncommon. And sometimes kids had a hard time adjusting to the shuffle back and forth between parents. That could be part of Ethan’s emotional challenges. Not that Charlie had really seen evidence of any in Ethan. Maybe some self-esteem issues, but those weren’t uncommon in children who suffered with dyslexia and reading disabilities.
