“I don’t know if we’ll go.” Rossie ignored the rocks that multiplied in her belly.
Stephano was going to see the truth about her at some point. It was better that she break things off before he discovered that she’d never be a good lady.
Her mother squeezed Rosie’s trembling fingers in a show of support and strength. “Your husband offered a tour. What’s going on?”
Her mom made her feel at peace. Rossie took a deep breath and clutched her mother’s hand and her nearness helped her calm down. She opened her mouth to explain that she wasn’t good enough for Stephano, but then the door opened and Stephano and Astorre strode over to their table.
Her heart zipped. She needed to stop this, fast, so she jumped out of her chair and looked down at her mother as she said, “Stephano’s returning. Both of you meet me at the door.”
Her mother pursed her lips. “This doesn’t sound good.”
However, she couldn’t wait for her mother or Clara. Rossie headed into the aisle to meet Stephano.
Her heart was currently on a roller coaster ride that didn’t seem to have a stop any time soon. Halfway across the ballroom, she met her husband and pressed her hand on his shoulder to get him to stop walking. “Stephano.”
“Rossie, I’m all yours.” He wrapped his arms around her and expected her to hug him.
Instead she crossed her arms and shook her head. As he let her go she knew now was the time. If she didn’t stop this madness, he’d find out in time that she was the opposite of a lady. It was better to cut the cord and break up with him first. “No, no you’re not.”
He paused and asked quietly, “What’s going on? Matteo needed a few minutes to digest. He had no idea Sheena was going to walk down the aisle.”
“I hope they work it out,” she muttered. But she knew that Matteo, like Stephano, would have married anyone. She was the bride that was convenient and she let herself be used as a stop gap, the same as Matteo’s new bride. Sometime soon, when the newness wore off, he’d see she wasn’t what he needed. He was better off alone. They both were. Even if he needed to stay married to her technically to keep his property, she’d do right by him. She owed him that much, but he deserved to be happy.
Stephano stared at her and expected her to say something. If she spoke though, she’d end the best thing she ever had.
Rossie just stared into his eyes. Stephano broke the silence when he said, “They already are. Sheena knew Matteo’s situation and stepped in last minute.”
Her heart fluttered. This marry or lose everything seemed extreme. She pressed her hands to her heart and asked, “Like me?”
His gaze narrowed, and he motioned for them to leave the center of the ballroom as the lights came on because the bride and groom were about to make their appearance. She slumped her shoulders but walked next to him as he asked, “Like you? I don’t understand. I asked you to marry me and you said yes.”
True. Her heart whispered maybe she was being extreme. Adrenaline raced through her as she said, “You asked me because you were desperate. I think it was a mistake that we rushed in like we did.”
They made it to the door they’d walked in from that headed toward the lobby as he asked, “Rossie, what are you talking about? You’ve made me nothing but happy.”
And it was time to rip the bandage off. She wouldn't divorce him, but she could free him until he found a legal solution that didn’t require losing everything.
The bride and groom walked in and waved to everyone, even stopping to smile and hug people as the music started. In a second, they’d dance.
Rossie never had a wedding dance. She never would, not that it mattered. She’d been so desperate to hide from her feelings. It was time to act. She clenched her hands at her sides. “It’s all been a lie I’ve been living. Love isn’t a choice. I was so stupid.”
His brow furrowed with concern but he didn’t seem to be moved by her words as he placed his hand on her back. “Rossie, we’re at a wedding. Can this wait until we go upstairs to our room?”
“No one’s watching us.” Stephano was with his peers. In the ballroom somewhere, he might find someone who actually fit into his world. She wasn’t it. “I don’t deserve you, Stephano.”
The wrinkles above his nose deepened. He widened his stance near the door and said, “There is no deserve.”
No. She massaged her temples. If only this was easy. For the rest of her life, she’d spend it at other people’s weddings, knowing she wasn’t good enough to ever be happy, not like the others.
As the bride and groom danced, she saw they were strained and far apart, but they also had a spark that they ultimately belonged in the same world. She didn’t fit in here. Everything would be fine for the couple dancing. But she wasn’t them. She stepped out of the ballroom as she said, “You deserve to have a chance to be with someone who you love and who loves you back.”
“I told you already, I‘m happy with you and our life together.” He followed her into the lobby.
Heaven help them both if that was actually true. Her heart felt like that proverbial arrow just broke her in half as she shook her head and said, “You’re only saying that because it’s neat and tidy and convenient. But love isn’t something we can pretend at.”
She turned and headed to the elevator. She pressed the button but he was right on her heels. As she stopped, she could feel his breath on her skin and turned around as he asked, “Are you pretending?”
She swallowed. She reached out and brushed her hand on his face, but the sparks that bloomed inside her grew. She pulled her hand away from the electric shock as the doors opened. “I knew better than to ever think I deserve love because when I let my guard down, you’ll see the truth about me, sooner than I want. And then everything is over and I’ll be broken.”
“What truth? What are you talking about?” He followed her into the elevator.
Fine. He could see her upstairs to get her pocketbook. The doors closed behind him as she pushed against the elevator wall and tears went down her cheeks again. “I’m so plain that even a skinny boy that didn’t really matter only wanted to marry me because I made enough money for him to have a more leisurely life.”
He pressed his hand on her shoulder and massaged it. “I don’t need your business. I thought you were giving that away.”
No. All she had was her work. If she gave that up, she’d have nothing. The elevator dinged on their floor and she looked up. “You don’t understand.”
She pushed past him and headed toward their room. He stayed beside her as he said, “You’re right. I don’t get it.”
She swiped open the door and refused to look at him. Her feet acted like she stepped on fire instead of a posh blue rug as her cheeks were wet again. “On the inside, I’m ugly and plain and the only value I can offer to anyone is hard work. You expect beauty and fashion and a lady. But I’ll never be a lady.”
“Rossie-” He reached for her.
She swung their room door open and headed inside as she interrupted him and said, “Have fun at your friend’s wedding. I’m going now.”
The pressure to be perfect was going to catch up with her, faster with Stephanoe and she’d never measure up. She wasn’t party of his world. Not really. But as the doors closed, and Stephano followed her in, she knew this wasn’t over. She’d made a huge mistake with Stephano. She didn’t deserve love, but he did. So it was time to fix her mistake before she made them both miserable for the rest of their lives.
Rossie’s heart hammered in her chest and she couldn’t make it stop. She pressed her hands to her chest as the door closed behind both of them. Stephano was right in front of her.
He was tall, handsome, and everything a knight in a fantasy novel was supposed to be.
And he deserved a real rose, not the artificial one she was. Eventually her makeup tricks wouldn’t work.
Stephano took her hand and held it like she was precious and she was his equal. “Rossie, I don’t understand. We were happy
. And I’ve never had what we have with anyone else.”
Burned. The words struck her, causing her entire bodyto heat. He must have learned those words in some sort of charm school for nobles. She took her hand back and stormed past him, heading toward the closet as she said, “I need to get my pocketbook and credit cards.”
“Wait.” He followed without touching her.
She turned and pretended for one second she was some sort of queen as she said, “You don’t love me. Now I should go.”
She was about to march again, but he stepped in her way and said, “Give me two minutes.”
She crossed her arms. The last thing she’d do is give him or anyone false hope. “It’s not smart.”
He side-stepped and stayed in front of her as he asked, “One minute, then. Just to talk.”
She threw her hands up in the air and turned to her side, hugging her waist. “Fine.”
“Good. Now as I was saying, I love you.” He grasped her hands.
His words struck her like she’d been slapped in the face. If that was true, if I was worthy. It was like a fly buzzed near her ears as she took her hands back again and said, “You can’t.”
“Don’t change what I said or what I mean,” he said without touching her.
Her heart pounded with a boom, boom, boom that acted like it set off fireworks. Stephano was everything that was good and perfect in a man. She swallowed back her tears that she shouldn’t shed and instead summoned a cool tone to her voice. “Okay. Fine. But why? Why do you think you love me?”
His brow had dignified wrinkles that smoothed as he spoke. “When we first met, I didn’t think I would feel anything. You fit a profile I needed. And I feared you’d just go back to your business leaving me high and dry.”
And I love him too much to ever, ever curse him with being stuck with me when he sees the real me. The thought rushed through her. It was the reason she needed to leave him. “I am going back to work. It’s all I have, but why do you say you love me now?”
The hair on her arms stood higher as she waited for him to speak. He stepped closer to her, without touching, and she could smell the woodsy cologne that reminded her of his olive trees. “When it was just you and me, alone, in Avce, I saw you weren’t just a girl I was stuck with but a beautiful woman who was interesting, funny, smart and good to be around. You encouraged me with music. No one’s been that invested in me.”
And her heart grew smaller and smaller as her skin buzzed. This was the opposite of the cartoon where the monster gives out presents. Instead of healing, she was about to be exposed as an imposter. She lowered her head as her face and neck were hot. “I’m none of those things. It was all a lie.”
He didn’t move. Her heart beat wildly, but she slowly looked up and he asked, “What was a lie? Your laugh? Your insights? Your questions?”
If only I could be what he saw. She let out a sigh and swallowed, ignoring the impulse inside her that wanted to reach out and hold him. Instead she played with her necklace and shook her head. “Stephano, I’m not beautiful. I’m not interesting or any of those things. And love isn’t just a choice like I said when I lied to myself and to you.”
He took another step closer and her pulse spiked but in a different way. Her lips tingled for a kiss as she stared up at him.
“Then what is it?”
This time she reached out and ran her hand against his belt hook. “It’s an emotion that’s pure and honest and good. People like Clara get to fall in love.”
“I’m nothing like your friend and neither are you.” He leaned down.
Her eyes fluttered closed as his lips brushed against her mouth.
In his kiss, she was lost. He was perfect and the next thing she knew her hands ran through his thick, coarse dark hair and her body ached for him. She let go as the kiss ended, but her lips still ached for more. She stepped back and held her palm against her heart as she shook her head. “But don’t you see, you’ll be tired of me and I’ll have nothing.”
His honey-brown eyes seemed to penetrate her skin like he could see right through her. “I don’t see that at all.”
She sucked in her bottom lip and let it out. Somehow she needed him to understand so she said, “Stephano…” Then she reached out and brushed his shoulder and muscular arm that had held her tight. “I wish…”
But the words didn’t come. She loved him and she needed to let him go. Otherwise he’d see she was some imposter and not fit to be his lady.
He brushed his hand against her waist but she let him go and stepped back. “What?”
“I wish you knew the truth so you didn’t think you loved me.” She turned to the side to look out the window toward the balcony and not at him.
He gently pressed her elbow to get her attention. “You’ve never said it back to me.”
If I did, you might never let me go. She turned back toward him and brushed his face, letting her fingers linger on his slightly rough skin as she said, “I don’t want to hurt you.”
He took her hand and held a little tighter as he asked, “Rossie, what happened with Alberto? Are you intending to leave me and go back to your ex?”
Her eyes narrowed and she shook her head. There was no reason to be jealous. None at all. Stephano overshadowed him, in every way. She smiled and for one moment, she was completely calm as she said, “What? No. Of course not.”
His forehead pressed against hers and she stood on her tiptoes to be closer to him as he said, “Then I don’t get what’s happening here.”
It was time. She swallowed and stepped away from him. She was an expert at makeup for a reason. It was the only way she could ever truly be fabulous. All her life she’d been so plain. She stepped back and ignored the spike in her pulse as she headed toward the bathroom and said, “I’ll show you. Let me get this makeup off.”
As she walked, her shoulders were more determined. He’d be the only person other than her mother who ever truly saw her face.
He called behind her and said, “Most of it is gone anyhow. You’ve been crying.”
Her products could survive hurricanes. She glanced over her shoulder as she opened the door and said, “No. I use everything just right. Wait.”
As she closed the door, she started to get out makeup remover. Stephano chuckled through the door. “Do you turn into Frankenstein? Or a man, like in a movie I saw once? Though I’ve seen you naked and our parts fit together nicely.”
True, but he hadn’t seen her face. No one had since she’d learned how to put makeup on to cover her flaws. She wiped it all away in the mirror with the only products that might remove the mask and called out, “One more second.”
His voice deepened. “Did you have surgeries or something that you’ve been hiding from me? It doesn’t matter, if you did.”
In a few minutes, he’d understand. She dabbed her brushes in makeup remover and stripped everything off her face. “No. Hold on.”
“I don’t care if you were horribly burnt or something.”
Her heart melted. He said that now. But he wanted a princess. She wasn’t and never would be. She worked furiously to get off the layers of makeup. Then she pressed her palms onto the vanity.
No scars. No deformities. She was just plain and uninteresting. Her thin lips, thin eyebrow that would never be dramatic and invisible eyelashes, and gaunt cheekbones that made her look like a skeleton that died being punched in the face were now easy to see for him. But she pushed herself up. “Here I come.” She unlocked the door and headed out though she kept her head down as she stood before him, as vulnerable as she’d ever been. “Look.”
“I’m looking.” She slowly lifted her gaze. His eyes were wide and he studied her.
A shiver ran down her spine as she said, “So, I’m not beautiful.”
“Rossie, you’re everything I want.” He pressed his hands on her hips.
Her heart raced wildly and her lips more than tingled, they burned for his kiss. He shouldn’t want me. I shouldn’t want him
. He’s too perfect.
She closed her eyes and puckered for his kiss as she said, “But I’m not pretty.”
“You’re beautiful, Rossie.”
“No.”
“If you weren’t, would I do this?” He claimed her mouth.
Her body wasn’t listening to her thoughts. She wrapped herself around him and kissed him, hard, needy and wild.
She walked beside him to the bed, sucked in her breath and said, “I don’t know.”
“What about this?” He kissed her again.
Her skin buzzed with awareness. She kissed him back like he was her anchor and she needed the lifeline. As the kiss ended, she unzipped her dress but looked down and ignored how she panted already while she said, “Stephano, this isn’t a good idea.”
“I think it is.” He sat beside her on the bed.
Wanting Stephano washed through her again. She held her dress over her chest as she said, “I don’t want to ruin your life.”
“You’re not.” He captured her lips again.
Steam washed through her. Needing Stephano, now, she dropped her white dress to the floor and wrapped herself around him.
He was perfect.
* * *
A few hours later she quietly dressed in a plain cotton dress and kissed his cheek while he slept on their bed. If she was good enough for him, she’d stay. But it was better for him that she just go. So she whispered to him, “In the morning, or in a few days, you’ll thank me that I’m gone. You’re too good to settle for someone like me. Goodbye.”
Then she slipped out of their hotel room and kept a low profile in the lobby so no one in the party saw her. Once she was outside, she flagged down a taxi and disappeared.
Stephano deserved his princess and she wasn’t meant to be one.
The lock on the door clicked closed. Stephano’s mind was scattered as he sat up in his dark hotel room with the curtains drawn and lights all off.
He flipped the light on and checked for Rosalind. His bare feet stepped on the cold marble as he searched and he didn’t care that he’d briefly stepped outside on his balcony naked to see if she was there.
Forbidden Marquis Page 11
