by Tanya Milne
Ezra smiled again; this time it reached his eyes. He jumped from the car and held my door open, and I took his hand without thinking.
By the time we left the fish-and-chip shop, it was dark.
‘Come on, I know the perfect spot,’ said Ezra. He led us down the empty docks and helped me onto the same boat where I’d first met him.
‘Do you think anyone will mind us being here?’ I said, looking around but only seeing a jumble of empty boats.
Ezra laughed as he took out a set of keys and opened up the boat. ‘I’m sure they won’t.’
‘Is this your boat?’ I asked, climbing in after him.
After he flicked a few switches and closed the blinds, the interior of the boat was softly lit up. I took in the little kitchen, small bathroom, several sofas and large bed built into the bow of the boat. He came to stand before me, took the fish and chips from me. ‘Unlike the car, I love this boat. I come here whenever I get the chance.’
The way he said it, I knew his every word to be true. After seeing how controlling and awful his father was, I got it. This boat was his real home, the only place he could relax.
‘I love it,’ I said, walking around the cosy space, checking everything out as Ezra arranged the plates and soft drinks on the small table.
‘You’ll have to come sailing with me,’ he said, sitting down.
‘Are you serious? You can sail?’
He nodded and sat down.
I sat down next to him, the table so small our arms touched. ‘I bet you’re really good.’
‘I wouldn’t say that. But I’d keep us afloat.’
For a split second I pictured us out on the open waters together, his arms around me, both of us without a care in the world.
‘Come on, eat up before it gets cold,’ he said quietly, bringing me back from a future that would never be.
My appetite disappeared as I realised that I was in over my head, and it was time to start retreating from Ezra – the absolute last thing I felt like doing.
‘Can you tell me what happened when the police questioned you at school today?’ he asked.
I sat back as the memories of the afternoon flooded back to me.
‘Don’t worry if you don’t want to. You just said you wanted to talk,’ he said.
‘I did, didn’t I?’ I ate a few chips while I mulled over the best way to tell him. ‘Let me start by telling you what happened in town last night, what I saw.’
Ezra’s eyes widened for a second before he nodded. Once I started talking, I couldn’t stop. I quietly told him everything, from seeing Jet and his gang to being questioned by the police, leaving out how much I wanted to join in the ritual and my own identity as a witch.
When I finished speaking, we both sat back, our meals forgotten.
‘Say something,’ I said, after Ezra simply looked away from me, his face drained of colour. ‘Do you believe me?’
Ezra flicked his head back and glanced up at the ceiling before he spoke, his voice like a growl. ‘I don’t know what I’m more pissed about – Jet or the police.’
‘Don’t worry about Jet, and thanks to you, I don’t need to worry about the police. I just…wanted you to know.’
Ezra turned back to me, stared at me intently. ‘Don’t kid yourself, Eva. Jet is as dangerous as the police, and don’t think for a second they’ll leave you alone, particularly now they think that we’re connected.’
A chill travelled over my body. Whether I liked it or not, he was right.
‘I’ve seen Jet follow you around, pestering you,’ said Ezra, clenching his knuckles. ‘And that Max McCann, there’s something not right about him. He’s…’
‘Sick and twisted,’ I said, finishing his sentence while I remembered the hunger in his eyes.
‘And the danger you’re in, it’s all because of my dad,’ he said. ‘You must be really glad we met.’
‘Look, I’ll be fine. I can take care of myself. What about you? How much trouble will you be in when you get home?’
‘Don’t worry about me.’
I pictured Ezra’s reception when he arrived home, and shivered. Then I pictured mine. It wasn’t going to be pretty, but at least I knew I would be greeted with only love and concern.
‘Maybe we should go home… Face the music,’ I said quietly.
Ezra groaned before he said, ‘I wish we could just stay here.’ He stood and started to clean up. ‘Can we just have a few more minutes?’
‘Sure,’ I said, helping him clean up. A few minutes later, he switched off all the lights and we were left standing in the darkness.
‘Want to see something cool?’ he said, taking my hand, spreading heat through my body.
‘We should probably go,’ I said.
‘It’ll only take a few minutes. It’s worth it. I promise.’
‘Okay.’
Slowly, he led me across the boat to where his bed was.
‘I don’t think that’s a good idea,’ I said.
Ezra laughed. ‘I’m not going to… Do you trust me?’
I nodded.
‘Good. Close your eyes then and climb up on the bed.’
He helped me climb up, and I lay on my back. In a second he was beside me, holding my hand. ‘Open your eyes, Eva.’
I opened my eyes and there above me was an enormous skylight, and above that, a sky full of stars.
‘It’s beautiful,’ I said, turning to Ezra, who was watching me.
‘So are you,’ he said quietly.
For a few seconds we stared at each other, time standing still. I raised my hand to his face and drew him to me. Our lips met gently at first; he tasted like salt and the sea. A wave of desire broke free inside me, and he took me in his arms and kissed me in a way that left me breathless and wanting.
The waves from a nearby boat started to rock the little yacht, and I broke away and sat up. Ezra sat up beside me. ‘I didn’t mean for that to happen,’ he said.
A feeling of sadness grew inside me until it extinguished all the fireworks. Eventually I found my voice. ‘You know that we can’t be together, don’t you?’
‘Why not? My father already thinks you’re my girlfriend. He’ll come around.’
I remembered my true identity and the danger I could place Ezra in. ‘I’m not sure he will come around, and besides…’
‘Besides what?’ he said, pain in his every word.
‘Besides, it’s better for you.’
‘At least don’t lie to me. Not being with you is not better for me.’
‘You’re just going to have to trust me on this one,’ I said.
‘I do trust you, but it doesn’t make any sense. You must feel our…connection?’
I put my hand on his back, which felt hot under my hand. ‘This is not what I want, but it’s for the best.’
‘At least we can be friends,’ he said, his gaze finding mine in the darkness.
‘Do you honestly think we can just be friends?’ I asked.
He groaned. ‘I’m willing to try.’
I made myself say the words that didn’t belong out in the world. ‘It’s better for you if we’re not.’
His body stiffened under my hands.
‘It’s not what I want,’ I said.
Ezra stood up and turned away. ‘You keep saying that, Eva, so I suppose I’m going to have to take your word and try not to think it’s because of who I am.’
I jumped up from the bed and stood in front of him. ‘I don’t care who your dad is, Ezra, so please, never think that.’
‘Well, what then? Because I don’t get it.’
I looked away. ‘I can’t say. I’m sorry.’
Ezra let out a long sigh. ‘Let’s just go.’
Our trip home was silent, but loud with unspoken words. As we pulled up to the front of my house, the front lights came on and my family all walked outside. I pictured their faces as they took in the sport car, wondering whether I was inside.
‘At least you can tell them ther
e’s nothing between us,’ he said quietly, resigned.
‘You know that’s not true,’ I said, regretting the words the moment I’d spoken. ‘I hope it’s okay when you get home.’
Ezra nodded and turned away. I climbed out of the car, but part of me stayed behind with Ezra as he sped away; part of me was now with him wherever he went.
Chapter Seventeen
I swallowed the lump in my throat as I walked down the front path to my house. I could feel my family staring at me, their worry seeping into me. I glanced up at my parents and Elijah, who stood like statues on the front steps.
‘Eva, darling,’ said Mum, taking several steps to meet me on the path. ‘We’ve been sick with worry.’
I broke down into tears, my composure bursting like a river breaking its banks.
‘Are you okay, sis?’ said Elijah, walking forward to hug me.
‘Come inside, love,’ said my dad, taking me by the arm and helping me up the stairs.
Elijah’s gaze bored into mine as we walked past him and into the house, where every light was glaring. Dad helped me onto the couch and sat down next to me. Mum placed a tissue box on the coffee table before disappearing into the kitchen, saying she would put the kettle on.
Elijah sat opposite me and regarded me closely as I tried to bring my tears under control. In a few minutes Mum brought in a pot of tea and a plate of chocolate-chip biscuits that she placed between us.
‘Ready to tell us what happened?’ said Elijah, pouring the tea.
I let out a long sigh and, bit by bit, my story of what Elijah and I saw last night and what had happened today, sans the visit to the boat and the kiss, all came out.
When I finished, I looked from one face to the next, each as pale as the others.
‘That’s just awful, Eva, what you’ve been through,’ said Dad.
‘That makes sense then, why Ezra’s mum called,’ said Mum, almost to herself. ‘She must have known you were together.’
‘She called here?’ I said.
‘Well, yes, she did. We did tell you in one of the many messages we left,’ said Mum, her voice clipped.
My face started to heat. ‘I’m sorry for not answering your calls. There was just so much going on, and I did let you know I was okay.’
Dad’s worried eyes searched mine. ‘You did, but we were worried sick. Why didn’t you come straight home after being at Ezra’s house?’
Elijah raised his eyebrow and I remembered my promise to him, to keep away from Ezra. ‘I know it seems stupid now, but we were both so rattled after what had happened and needed to talk. I mean, you have no idea how terrifying Orpheus was.’
‘After Ezra told him you were his girlfriend,’ said Elijah, unable to keep the sarcasm from his voice.
‘It was just a ploy to keep what we saw a secret. He was helping me – can’t you see that? And at his own expense.’
Elijah crossed his arms. ‘Have you thought about what this means for you, for us all?’
‘Of course I have,’ I snapped. ‘But don’t worry, Ezra will tell his dad we broke up when he gets home.’
‘Oh,’ said Elijah, uncrossing his arms.
I stood up, my legs shaky. ‘Don’t worry, I’ve told him we can’t even be friends, even though he’s nothing at all like his dad and his life must be a living hell.’ Tears threatened again. ‘Happy now that you get to go on living your precious life with Anna?’
‘That’s not what I meant and you know it,’ said Elijah. ‘I’m only thinking of our family.’
‘All I know is that this whole situation – this whole town – our little secret, it’s completely and utterly insane,’ I shouted, before turning on my heels and storming up the stairs, then slamming the door to my attic.
I pushed open the windows and stood looking down at the quiet street, letting the cool autumn air rush over me, willing it to cool me down. But it made no difference. I was burning inside. Feelings I didn’t even know existed until today now lived inside me, and I didn’t have the foggiest idea how I was going to get rid of them.
All I wanted was to be back in that boat, lying in Ezra’s arms watching the stars, forgetting all about this crazy, mixed-up world that we lived in. Instead, I had to live with knowing we couldn’t be together – that we couldn’t even be friends. My heart hurt and my throat burned. I put my hands over my heart and started crying again.
‘Knock, knock,’ said Elijah quietly, from outside my room. ‘Can I come in?’
I wiped away my tears and managed a muffled yes that came out more as a sob. Within seconds Elijah was striding across the room. He took me in his big arms and held me as I cried, telling me that everything would be okay.
Finally, I was quiet and pulled away, hunting for tissues to try and clean myself up.
‘Bet you wish you had that bathroom right about now, don’t you, sis?’
I laughed as we sat down on my bed. I switched on my lamp and Elijah watched me closely, his eyebrows drawing together. ‘Now, I know it’s probably the last thing you feel like doing, but I want you to tell me everything that happened today, in minute detail. Don’t leave out a thing.’
Except the part where I kissed Ezra and found part of me I didn’t even know was missing.
Elijah cocked his head to the side. Waiting. Knowing.
‘You’ve never kept secrets from me before. What’s going on?’ he asked.
My swollen face became even hotter.
‘You like him, don’t you? Like really, really like him?’ he asked.
I nodded, my eyes filling with tears again. I put my head down on my knees. ‘It doesn’t matter.’
‘Oh, Eva, I’m sorry. This must be so hard for you, not being with him. And here we are, selfishly worried about what this means for us.’
Hot tears seeped from my eyes, and he rubbed my arm. ‘I know this whole…situation is completely nuts, but it won’t be like this forever. One day it’ll right itself again, and then who knows what might happen. Don’t give up hope.’
Hope? The word sat with us in the room. Was there hope for me and Ezra? Hope that one day Orpheus Blackthorn would not be in power, spreading his fears into the hearts of people who should know better? That’s when I remembered Orpheus’s eyes, those pale-blue eyes, the windows to his soul. There was only darkness, sickness and spite living in him. And a desire to squash me like an annoying bug. Ezra was out of bounds to me; Orpheus was never going to come around. He was going to make sure that I had no part in Ezra’s life, ever.
I started to shiver as the wind changed direction outside, bringing the autumn breeze, carrying ice on its tail, into my room.
I sat up, wiped my eyes and gazed directly into Elijah’s eyes. ‘You don’t know Orpheus Blackthorn. While he has power, there’s no such thing as hope.’
Elijah blinked quickly and turned away.
‘Life as we knew it, it’s over,’ I said quietly. ‘Unless…’
‘Unless what?’
‘Unless we stop him.’
Elijah’s eyes widened. ‘I know what you’re thinking, and no way.’
‘Why not? We are who we are, and maybe it’s time we stop being scared. Maybe it’s time we learn our craft.’
Elijah stood, ran his hand through his hair. ‘Stop talking like this. You know we can’t practice witchcraft. We’ve been over and over this – it’s just too dangerous.’
‘The thing is, we already are who we are, and you know what, it already is dangerous. Being interrogated today was dangerous. Being at Orpheus’s house was dangerous. And it’s going to get a whole lot worse.’ I gazed out through my windows at the inky sky. ‘Orpheus has just begun, and we’re all sitting ducks. If we learn how to use our powers, then at least we have a chance to protect ourselves, and others too.’
Elijah raised his voice and sounded just like our dad when he had a point to make. ‘You’re talking crazy. The moment we start using our powers, we’ll be found out, and then what?’
I opened my mouth to
reply, but he cut in.
‘What will happen to us then, huh? And what about Mum and Dad? Did you think of them? They’ll be implicated as well. Do you want to be the cause of them being arrested, or worse?’
I shut my mouth and dropped my head as I pictured our parents being arrested and walked out to the waiting car of the special police, where their future was in the hands of a sick and twisted tyrant.
‘That’s the end of the discussion. Don’t even think about it, okay?’ he said.
All of a sudden, the day finally caught up with me. My eyes drooped and my body felt heavy. I lay down on my pillow.
‘You need some sleep,’ said Elijah. He pulled my doona over my body, closed my windows and tugged my curtains across – keeping out the winds of change that had come calling for me. ‘Everything will be okay,’ he said quietly before turning off my lamp.
I wanted to tell him it wouldn’t, that we needed to say ‘to hell with it’ and start trying to do something, anything, but every part of me was heavy and numb and falling, falling into the abyss of sleep.
Chapter Eighteen
I pulled my cap down low and walked quickly towards the school gate, avoiding any and all talk about the ridiculous Easter dance. Elijah was heading to the library with Anna, and there was no way I was hanging around to hear about what people would wear and who they might dance with.
It was bad enough that I’d agreed to go with Noah. Elijah convinced me it would help show everyone (in other words, Orpheus) that I’d ‘moved on’ and that Ezra and I were past-tense.
I wished for the hundredth time that I’d convinced Noah it was for appearance’s sake only, because ever since I’d agreed, Noah had been smiling at me as though I were his favourite person in the world. That was, after he’d stopped fussing about whether I was okay after being interrogated by the special police. It had taken everything for me to keep my mouth shut and not say, ‘While you watched on.’
‘Eva, Eva, Eva,’ said a husky voice I recognised immediately. Its owner was resting against the side of his car, alone.
