The Zee Brothers Vol.1 & 2 Box Set [Zombie Exterminators]

by Grivante

  Jonah smiled. “Get that wallet to Judas and let’s dispatch some more of these walking cadavers.”

  “You got it!” Nat grinned. She turned and rushed over to where Judas waited near the vending machines.

  The zombies on the other side of the chairs growled and groaned but made little progress toward them. A couple had even turned and gone back down the hall. A few more, trying to crawl between the chair legs, found themselves stuck in the tangled mess, they groaned and grasped fruitlessly at the air.

  Jonah took a deep breath, reached into his pocket for a cigar and cursed, remembering where they were. Two women from the crowd of dead broke off and made their way toward the gap along the wall. One was tall and skinny and wearing a dress, the other was short and rather large; she might be a challenge. He turned to check on Judas and Nat’s progress and his mouth fell open. “Judas!!”

  Judas had taken the wallet from Nantucket, pulled out the money and counted it. It contained ten dollars. A five and five ones. He fed the five into the school supply vending machine, purchased two jumbo pencils and handed them to Nat for sharpening. He glanced over his shoulder, saw Jonah eyeing the zombies and fed a dollar into the snack machine.

  The peanut butter cups were in slot C4, but in his rush to buy them before anyone noticed, he hit C3 and a one dollar package of Energy-Os drink powder dispensed instead. “Dammit,” he muttered and fed another dollar into the machine. His anxious finger pressed C4 just as Jonah shouted his name.

  Judas spun. His brother glared. The crowd of zombies groaned.

  “What are you doing?” Jonah’s face was tight and red, his jaw clenched.

  Judas grimaced and bit his lip, blushing. He looked up at Jonah. “You’re just mad you didn’t think of it!”

  Jonah threw his hands into the air. “I can’t believe you!”

  Judas looked at the floor and shifted his feet.

  “How much is left?”

  Judas held up three dollar bills. “Plus there’s still a dollar in the supply vending machine.”

  “Buy a damn pair of scissors already!” Jonah pointed to where one of the crawlers was nearing Judas’s position.

  “Oh shit!” Judas fed the money into the machine.

  Nat appeared in the door with a sharpened pencil. “Your personal Pack-a-Punch at your service!” She tossed the pencil to Jonah and disappeared back into the computer lab.

  Judas bent and grabbed the scissors from the first machine, then slipped his hand into the snack machine. He pulled out the two packages and shoved them into his inside coat pocket.

  Jonah goaded the tall thin female toward him. “Come on, come and get some.”

  The zombie growled and came at him, the large heavy set zombie close on her heels.

  Judas watched as the zombie crawling through the chairs grew close enough. He grabbed the man’s hair, yanked him forward and shoved the scissors into his ear. That same bloody-green discharge poured out as the corpse went slack. Judas pulled out the scissors, wiped them clean on the dead man’s shirt, and stood.

  In the computer lab doorway, Nat was back with another sharpened jumbo pencil at the ready.

  Jonah rammed the first pencil into the thin woman’s eye socket and her body slumped to the ground. The large heavyset woman tripped over the corpse, stumbled, and fell into the tangle of chairs, scattering them. The zombies stuck on the other side growled and lunged as the chairs shifted.

  Judas grabbed the pencil from Nat and tossed it to Jonah. “Maybe we ought to get into vampire slaying too! Making stakes seems pretty easy.”

  Jonah caught the pencil. “No, let’s leave that to Irish and the Gunns. It takes more than a pile of sticks to get that job done.”[ To learn more about Irish and the Gunns, check out C.S. Anderson’s Black Irish Series.]

  “Yeah, you’re right,” Judas said. “Besides, unless we find more cash, this won’t last.”

  From behind the brothers, Nat spoke up. “They’re all dead right?”

  “Yep,” Judas nodded.

  “We could make a bomb, take them all out at once.”

  Judas’s eyes raised, “Now you’re talking! How can we do that?”

  “The science class is right over there.” She pointed down the hall. “They’ve got everything we'd need.”

  Judas and Jonah shared a glance, and Jonah shrugged. “Why not? The chairs are keeping them in place. If they get through, it should only be a couple at a time. We just need to be quick.”

  The large heavyset zombie had made her way back onto her feet and lumbered toward Jonah. Judas stepped in behind her, pulled out the scissors, grabbed her head back and slammed them into her temple. Green bile drained out, rushing down her neck and soaking her shirt, causing Judas to let go and jump back as the body fell. Liquid goo spread across the ground.

  “C’mon,” Jonah said, “don’t step in that Nat, it’s toxic.”

  The trio ran to the door marked ‘Science’.

  Behind them, the remaining zombies thrashed amongst the tangle of chairs, their growls echoing throughout the quiet hallway.

  Pink IX - Pink Slime

  When they arrived at the door, they found it locked.

  “Should’ve realized that was gonna happen. Lockdown.” Jonah shook his head.

  They all looked back down the hall; a lone zombie had made his way around the chairs and headed in their direction.

  “What do you think Jonah, keep trying to take them out one at a time?”

  “Can’t,” Jonah held up the pencil. “We can’t reuse the weapons, they’re toxic and it’s getting worse. You saw how much that last one oozed out. Hopefully, the lunch lady comes back soon. In the meantime, trying to make a bomb is our best option.”

  Jonah peered through the small window in the door. There weren’t any kids in the room, that was good. He reached down to where Brutus would normally be holstered, prepared to blast the lock off, only to have his hand swish through empty air. “Dammit,” Jonah cursed in Judas’s direction, then took a step back and slammed his foot against the door.

  It shook, rattling nearby lockers as well, but didn’t open. Two more kicks and the lock splintered. Jonah stepped back, winded and motioned to Judas. “Give it a go, bro.”

  Judas stepped up and landed a solid blow right next to the knob. The jam splintered and the deadbolt burst through the wood.

  “Quick, inside,” Jonah motioned, glancing at the approaching zombie. “Let this one go by for the moment until we’ve got options.”

  The three of them hustled into the science classroom and closed the door as best they could. Jonah knelt and held the bottom of the door to keep it closed.

  “You two get started. I’ll keep an eye on things out here.”

  The lone zombie arrived at the door and pawed at it, groaning. Jonah pushed against it, holding him back, the sharpened novelty pencil at the ready.

  Judas turned to Nat. “What've you got in mind?”

  “We’ve got all the chemicals necessary to create a gaseous mixture, and that, when combined and kept under pressure along with some sort of projectiles, will work like a grenade. It should pulverize them.”

  “Ok,” Judas nodded. “I love science! It was the one subject I was ok at in school. What do we need?”

  “Over in that closet,” she pointed, “there’s a box of beads. Get those, I’ll get a cylinder we can use.”

  “Hey, you can’t be in here!” a voice shouted in the hallway.

  The zombie growled and turned from the door.

  “That sounds like Mr. Simmons,” Nat said. “He’s my computer teacher.”

  “You mean the one that was flushing the fish with the other kids from your class?” Judas asked.

  “Yes,” Nat nodded. “The bathrooms don’t have doors on them.”

  Jonah shot up and looked at Judas, who stopped before the supply closet. “You got this?”

  Judas nodded. “Green and good to go. You go save those kids, we’ll get this bomb made. When it’s read
y, we’ll signal you somehow.”

  Jonah opened the door and poked his head out. The hungry corpse shambled toward Mr. Simmons, a short man with balding black hair. In the opposite direction, three more of the dead had made their way around the chairs and were coming to join the party. The light from the large glass window that ran along one side of the hall illuminated their blood stained clothes.

  Jonah stepped out into the hall, sharpened pencil at the ready.

  The teacher yelled at the approaching zombie and walked toward him. “You’re not allowed in the school. You need to leave now.”

  “Stay away from him!” Jonah shouted.

  Mr. Simmons stopped a few feet away from the zombie and looked at Jonah, his eyes widened even more, like suddenly he didn’t know who he should be yelling at; the disheveled and grungy looking Jonah, or the bloody corpse that was almost on top of him.

  Jonah ran toward them. “Get back!”

  Mr. Simmons stood frozen, only taking a single step backward as the hungry and dead man lunged onto him. They collapsed onto the ground in a growling, screaming heap. Jonah ran up behind them, grabbed the zombie by the hair, and yanked his head away from the teacher. Seeing from the rush of red blood spraying out that he was too late for Mr. Simmons, he rammed the giant pencil through the creature’s eye and shoved the body to the side.

  A chorus of children’s screams brought his attention to the bathroom, a few feet away. In the opening, two young girls and a boy stood, others behind them. They had watched as Jonah killed the zombie and now as he stood over the bleeding to death Mr. Simmons.

  “Get back inside,” Jonah shouted at them. “It’s not safe out here.”

  “What is that thing?” the dying teacher asked him.

  “A zombie,” Jonah said, looking back at the others making their way down the hall.

  “A zombie?” the man asked, his hands finding their way to the gaping hole in his neck. “How?” then, “oh God, he bit me! Does that mean… like on the TV shows?” He reached up, clutching Jonah’s arm.

  Jonah looked back at him. “I don’t know how, but yeah, their bites are fatal.”

  The man’s eyes trembled and he let go of Jonah’s arm to clutch at the bite.

  “How many kids are in the bathroom?”

  Mr. Simmons blinked. “Uh, ten. No, nine. Nat stayed in the computer lab.”

  “Is there any way to lock it or close it off?”

  “No,” he shook his head. “It’s just a large hallway that leads to the stalls and sinks.” He paused as he struggled to sit up, staring down the hall to where more of the walking dead had passed the chairs. “How long do I have?”

  “A few minutes usually.” Jonah eyed the approaching ghouls, calculating.

  The teacher’s mouth moved, repeating Jonah’s words. Then, stuck on one of them, repeating it three times before looking at Jonah, he asked, “Usually? What do you mean usually? Who are you?”

  A loud metal rattling sounded from the other side of the hall. Jonah turned to see the large lunch lady rounding a corner, pushing a rickety metal cart. A catalogs worth of kitchen implements filled the shelves and on top, sat a large pink bag of what looked like silly putty, hanging over the sides.

  “My name's Jonah Zee, sir. I’m a zombie exterminator.”

  The teacher nodded and offered a hand. “Could you help me up, Mr. Zee?”

  Jonah grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. “Just Jonah’s fine. My father was the only Mr. Zee I’ve ever known and I’m not sure I’ll ever feel I’ve earned that title for myself.”

  Nurse Janet came rattling up behind them. The cart she had brought with her carried rolling pins, knives and a cleaver on the middle shelf and the giant plastic bag filled with white and pink goo on top. Jonah stopped short when he saw the logo on the side of the bag. It was two N’s intertwined with one another, inside a circle.

  “What is that?” he asked her.

  “It’s called pink slime. It’s an additive we add to the lunch meat, helps keep costs down. It’s mostly a meat byproduct. I thought since these things eat flesh it might be a good distraction.”

  “That logo though,” Jonah pointed at it. “Aren’t they a chemical manufacturer?”

  “What?” Nurse Janet wrinkled her nose. “You think our food comes straight from farms anymore? It all goes through the corporations first. Most schools receive deliveries directly from the fast food chains these days. We tried to get away from that but the only option was to buy our own ingredients.” She stopped as Mr. Simmons swayed on his feet beside her. She took in the sight of him. “Oh no!”

  “There’s kids in the bathroom.” Jonah indicated toward the opening.

  Janet walked over and glanced in, then shook her head. “This isn’t going well. What’s next, Mr. Exterminator? And where’s the other one?”

  “He’s in the science lab making a bomb. We need to buy some ti—”

  “A bomb?” Janet shouted. “Are you crazy? This is a school filled with children!”

  Jonah backed away, raising his hands. “I know, I know. We don’t have a lot to work with right now.”

  Nurse Janet stepped in front of him, waving her rolling pin menacingly. “I can’t believe you’d—”

  “Whoa, whoa,” Jonah pushed his arms higher. “Put Lucille down lady, I’m doing the best I can.”

  Beside them, Mr. Simmons grabbed the metal cart by the railing and charged with a yell down the hall toward the approaching dead. Implements flew off the cart in every direction, creating a clamor as it bounced down the hall.

  “Ahh!”

  “What is he doing?” Nurse Janet asked.

  “Buying us some time, I think. He was bitten.”

  “But the knives are on the cart.”

  “I know.” Jonah shook his head. “Welcome to my world.”

  The cart slammed into the first corpse, knocking the dead man over. A thunderous clang pierced the air as the impact sent the pile of knives and remaining implements scattering across the floor. The giant bag of pink slime spilled out like an elephant vomiting. Mr. Simmons fell to the ground, weeping and sobbing as the dead reached him and lunged, completely ignoring the pile of processed meat product.

  Janet watched a moment, then shook her head. “Not surprised. The rats don’t even touch that stuff.” She turned to face Jonah. “What do we do now?”

  He ran over and picked up a large meat cleaver lying on the ground nearest them. “We need to keep these kids safe and get them outta here until we can take care of the dead.” He indicated with a nod of his head the feasting trio and the others further down the hall who were mostly through the obstacle course of chairs. “Here they come.”

  Part X - Weird Science

  Judas pulled out the heavy box marked ‘Beads’ and brought it over to the table Nantucket was working at. The box weighed at least thirty pounds. He opened the lid and blinked at what he saw.

  “Um, Nat. These aren’t glass beads.” Judas scratched at his chin. “They’re eyeballs. A whole box of ‘em.”

  “I know,” she said, adjusting the knob on a burner. “That’s what we got sent, fake eyeballs. The school supply warehouse wouldn’t take them back. So that’s what we use. Mr. Gibbs always says a good scientist has to utilize the resources at hand.”

  Judas looked at the eyeballs, many of which stared back at him, and nodded. “Ok, fuck it. Nantucket, let’s MacGyver this shit. What’s next?” He laughed. “That would make a better nickname for you. Fuck-it Nantucket! How’d you end up with the name Nantucket, anyway?”

  She pushed her glasses up on the bridge of her nose and tilted her head at him.

  “Sorry,” he said. “Didn’t mean to offend you.”

  “Here,” Nat shoved a two-foot tall and four-inch wide metal tube across to him. “Fill this.”

  Judas poured handfuls of glass eyeballs into the metal container, creating a cacophony of noise until it was full. He watched as Nantucket flipped through a notebook she’d removed fr
om her backpack.

  She stopped on a page and scanned through a series of handwritten notes, stopping on a section she had starred and put in a box. She'd also drawn a large letter B above it. She grabbed a metal measuring cup and opened a tub from under the table marked Sulfur, then scooped up half a cup, double checked her notes and poured it into the cylinder.

  “Shake that so it settles to the bottom,” she told Judas. “And you didn’t offend me. I’ve been called a lot of names at this school; words are just words when they’re said to me. It’s when they’re said to others about me that it’s upsetting. I don’t know what my parents were thinking. Well, I do. They met there on summer vacation one year, it’s always been special to them and that makes sense. Naming me after the place... not so much.”

  Judas nodded and shook the container, his nose twitching from the smell, a smile formed on his face. “I’ve missed that scent.”

  “What do you mean?” Nat glanced up from measuring another powdered substance.

  Judas stuck his tongue into his lip, searching for the tobacco he normally kept there. Not finding it, he tried the other side of his mouth, then remembered he didn’t have any. He searched his pockets for more of the hard candies and spoke distractedly. “I used to make stink bombs with it all the time. I’d make these contraptions with a balloon that took about ten minutes to fill up with gas and then explode. I’d roll them under people’s cars when they were making out.” He grinned.

  Nat looked at him and laughed. “That’s horrible!”

  “I know.” Judas pulled out the package of peanut butter cups and the little tubular package of powder marked Energy-Os and looked at them. “I even did it to my brother once.”

  “What, why?”

  “He took out a girl I had a crush on.” Judas’s mouth watered looking at the peanut butter and chocolate candy, but he put them back in his coat. They were for JJ. He tore open the foil tube of Energy-Os instead. “What is this stuff, anyway?”