I’m tired of Numina, of Gods and Majick and Legend, of the fear they instil in me. “Then I’ll stop them.”
TWENTY EIGHT
THE WATCH
The next day I watch over Fray, doing my best to ignore the tightness in my chest. We might have argued but that doesn’t mean I want her to be taken by a rogue Numen. There’s no indication the Numen in Fray’s memory meant to come for her right now but I’m not taking risks. With the attention I’m supposedly attracting, the God could be drawn to us.
I won’t let anything happen to Fray. I’m prepared to harness all my Crea stealth to follow her wherever she goes but I don’t need to. She doesn’t leave the house. I watch her flit from the kitchen to the living room to her bedroom all day, a miserable look on her face. It tears me in two.
It’s my fault she’s upset. She thought I was human, and I thought she knew I wasn’t. I didn’t realise friendships could have communication issues from what was assumed to be said. I curse my inexperience. If I knew what I was doing, if I knew how to actually have a relationship, this wouldn’t be happening.
When the day turns to evening, Guy comes to relieve me of my watch. I haven’t told anyone else about my interpretation of the dreams, and I’m not sure I’d trust anyone else to protect Fray. I might have only resolved everything with my brother a month ago, but I know I can trust him.
“Don’t lose sight of her.”
He makes an exasperated noise. “I won’t. I know what I’m doing, so try to trust me. Or do you want me to pinky swear it?”
I make a rude gesture, shouldering my backpack. “Be careful. Almery is dangerous at the Crea moon.”
“Never would have guessed that. It’s not as if my sister’s a Crea.”
I roll my eyes and leave him to guard Fray.
I shouldn’t be worried about Guy—he has all of the elements on his side. His Majick isn’t restricted like anyone else’s, like mine is to telepathy, like Vic’s is to controlling water. Guy can create and manipulate anything he chooses.
I don’t need to worry about him but I still do. Right up to the moment my bones break and the Manticore is freed.
TWENTY NINE
THE WORDS IN LIGHT
Two Crea were killed last night. A Phoenix called Quinn, one of the people we asked to leave Henacre Wood so we could be safe from the hunters, was ironically killed by hunters. It would be bad enough to lose a Legendary so close to home, even one we don’t know, but the other Crea to be killed was Harriet.
Excitable, energetic Harrie.
Dead.
I missed Vince’s funeral because I wasn’t really part of the Red then—and because I only met him once, maybe twice—but I’m there for Harrie’s and Quinn’s, for all the crying and the tributes and the memories. I can’t stand it—all the expectation for me to weep when I don’t feel anything. Guy takes hold of my elbow and doesn’t let go until it’s over.
I plan to stay at the Academy overnight. I don’t think I can cope with being alone tonight. But when I check my phone I have seven missed calls and ten texts in varying degrees of apologies, anger, and worry. I text Fray, explaining why I’ve been absent.
“Is that her?” Guy’s expression is stern but he quickly smoothes it out. “Your girl?”
“She’s not—” She’ll never be mine, even if I want her to be. There are too many issues. I’m not even human. I can’t control myself during the Crea moon, and if she got anywhere near me I wouldn’t hesitate in hurting her. Even if I loved her the beast wouldn’t spare her. “It’s too dangerous.”
Not to mention the power she’d hold over my emotions and, as a result, my wellbeing. When I’ve lost someone in the past, all my passion and drive has vanished. Mavers helped of course, but if I lost Fray … I’m not sure who I’d become.
Guy groans—not the response I was expecting. “You’re making excuses, Yasmin. You’re scared of being with her.”
“It is dangerous.”
“Yeah,” he allows. “It is. But you’re a Legendary. You’re Crea and Dei. You have Majick. You can protect her against danger.”
I look him in the eye. “Not if I’m the danger.”
He looks away from me. “You need help for that. Therapy help. You hate what you are. It’s not like that for everyone. We accept what we are, but you talk like the Manticore and Yasmin are totally separate things.”
“I know,” I snap. “I’m not stupid, I know that’s weird.”
“It’s not weird, Yas, it’s unhealthy.”
“So you want me to tell a therapist I can’t accept the fact I’m a centuries-old mythological creature? I’ll be sentenced to life in a lunatic asylum.”
“Technically the Academy is listed as a psychological treatment place.” At my confused look he adds, “Mavers and Am have degrees in psychology and everything.”
“I don’t want to talk to anyone.”
He frowns. “Not even Mavers? I know he’s like a brother to you.”
At the tightness in his voice, my heart clenches. “I didn’t replace you with him, you know? You’ve always been my brother, even if you were a bit awful.”
The darkness lifts from his expression. “Just a bit? Not massively awful—the worst person you’d ever known? An absolute monster?”
“No. None of those things. Just my little-bit-awful brother.”
Guy clears his throat. “So. You should talk to someone. The first step is admitting you’ve got a problem and you did that, so it shouldn’t be as bad.”
“I think that’s for alcoholics.” I gather my fear and throw it out the window. “What about you? Can I talk to you?”
“Why would you want to talk to me?”
“Because you tell me things as they are. And you believe me even when you think I’m crazy.”
He touches my shoulder. “You can talk to me if that’s what you want. You don’t even have to do it face-to-face. You’re Psychic, remember?”
Like I’d ever forget.
Alright, smartass. I’m just saying. If you need to talk, shout for me, okay?
“Okay,” I say.
He gives me my coat and I frown at it. “Put your talisman back on. You’re gonna go find that girl of yours, and then you’re going to work everything out. I’m not spying on her another night.”
“Guy—”
“Bye, Yasmin!”
*
Fray is asleep outside my flat when I get home, her head tipped back against the door and her mouth hanging open.
When I shake her shoulder, she blinks up at me in confusion before registering her surroundings. The first thing she does is ask if I’m alright. The remnants of my hurt fizzle away.
“I’m okay,” I say as I unlock the door. “I think my feelings have been dulled by everything that happened last month. I’m not sure what I’m feeling.”
“Did you know them well? The people that died?”
I kick a mess of used food containers behind a cupboard. “One of them. Harriet. You met her at Matronalia. The young girl—friendly, always excited about something.”
Fray drops onto a bean bag.
“I didn’t know her that well,” I go on. “I lived with her at the Academy but she was really young back then, so we didn’t talk much.”
“I’m sorry.” Fray chews her lip. “And I’m sorry about before.” She huffs out a sigh and stands. “I didn’t mean to react that like. I shouldn’t have. It wasn’t your fault, it was my problem. I didn’t ask if you were human—”
“Fray.” I stop her. “It’s alright.”
“No.” She touches my elbow. The temperature from the funeral will stay with me all day but Fray’s able to warm me a little. “Let me finish. I didn’t realise you weren’t human because you’re the most human person I’ve ever met. You feel things more powerfully than other people. I can read it on your face, and when we’re connected I can feel it.”
So quiet, I say, “I wish I was human.”
“You are.” She sque
ezes my arm, uses her free hand to tilt my face up. “I don’t care if you’re a Manticore, or a Crea, or a Dei. It doesn’t matter that your mum’s a God. My mum’s bat shit insane and I’m not crazy. Our parents don’t make us who we are. We do that. Human isn’t your DNA. It’s something you are. You’re human, Yasmin.”
I don’t speak. If I don’t open my mouth maybe I won’t cry.
How can Fray see me as something I want so desperately to be? I hate being Legendary. I hate being something other, something wrong.
I don’t believe I’m human just because Fray says I am, but it opens up a hole in me and forces me to face everything I hate about myself.
Fray watches the war inside me. “I’m going to kiss you now, if that’s alright.”
“It’s alright,” I say.
She frames my face with gentle hands and kisses me. Her touch calms and reassures but feels empty, lacking. I lean away. “You shouldn’t do that. You’re only kissing me because I’m upset.”
Fire ignites in her eyes. She tilts her head in a rapid, inhuman swoop. “Am I?”
“You kissed me after Matronalia because I was crying, and you’re kissing me now because I’ve lost a friend.”
She throws her hands up, takes a step away—before rushing back and pushing me against the wall with careless strength. She breathes, “The only thing I was doing because you were upset is holding back.” And then her mouth is on mine, her body flush against me. Heat floods me everywhere.
If the first kiss made me hollow this kiss fills me up. I’ve been waiting for this since the day I met her, since I saw her dreams, since her voice began haunting me, since I got to know the person she is, since our minds connected. Everything has come to this.
My fingers curl around the belt loops of her jeans and I kiss her with abandon.
“Finally,” Fray breathes when I break for air.
She tenses, looking past me. “Do you see that?” The change in her voice has me spinning fast and staring at the brown building across the alleyway.
“What the hell?” I reach for the Akasha pendant.
A series of symbols are scrawled across the surface of the building, lit up in white light like the star constellation projector Minnie bought when we were younger. I can’t understand them but I know without knowing how that it’s some kind of language. “Keep watching it,” I tell Fray, running around for a pen and paper. I copy the symbols as accurately as I can on the back of an envelope. As if knowing their message has been delivered, the symbols of light fade.
Fray frowns at the envelope. “Was that Majick?”
“It’s nothing a Legendary could do. I think it’s a Numina message.”
“Why would they leave us a message?”
“That dream we had the other night, with your father and the red haired woman?” At Fray’s blank expression my blood runs cold. “You didn’t have that dream, did you?”
“No.”
“I think your Majick was caused by a Numen. The impression I got from the memory was … a Numen had some kind of use for you, and your father was getting something out of the arrangement.”
Fray’s grabs my hand.
“It’s alright. Me and Guy—we’re looking after you. I won’t let her get to you.”
“But they’re more powerful than you. You won’t be able to—I’ll be—”
“No.” I’m surprised to hear the beast’s growl in my words. I remember what Guy said, that the beast and I aren’t separate. It’s still surprising to know my Manticore side—the creature that cares for nothing but its own hunger—is as protective of Fray as I am.
I remove my talisman.
I have two kinds of Majick, Fray. That’s why the argument broke out at the Academy. Some of them don’t like me being there, because I’m two things, because I have two kinds of power. I’ll use every bit of my Majick to protect you. It’s my fault this is happening, I think. I won’t let you be hurt because of me.
So I’m an obligation.
No. She is kind of an obligation, in the sense that Juno says I’m supposed to protect her. But Fray is more than that. My heart wants her. I’ll protect her because I want to, not because someone says I should. Because I want her safe. I want to protect you. You’re my …
I don’t know what she is to me. The word friend feels too small.
Her mouth turns up. I’m your what?
I close my eyes. You’re my friend.
For now.
THIRTY
THE REQUEST
I walk Fray home because I’m overcautious. It’s only a half hour walk if we cut through Almery so we take the ribbon-thin pathways. The wood is thriving with sounds of life and the beast sings with the thrill of it, wanting to chase, wanting to kill.
Fray asks if I’m alright twice. She doesn’t believe me when I say I’m fine. I’m not sure I believe me either.
I catch a strange scent on the wind and stiffen. But I remember the Crea that have relocated from Henacre Wood and dismiss my reaction.
Five minutes later I wish I’d listened to my instincts. I slip my hand free of Fray’s and shield her with my body.
“Yasmin!” she complains. She leans around me and gasps.
“Stay behind me,” I warn. “It’s a Numen.”
The original Phoenix lounges on the wood floor, seeming to ignore us—but I know it’s here for Fray and me. Its scent has been following us.
Leaves crunch as it lumbers to its feet.
“What do you want?” I should be polite but my hackles are raised. Fray’s safety is threatened.
The Phoenix lifts its white wings and rearranges them so they sit on its golden back. It raises its head and pins me with yellow eyes, speaking without opening its beak. The words hang like mist in the air between us. “I have a request.”
“What kind of request?” I raise myself to my full height, naïvely trying to intimidate a Numen.
“One you will agree to.” It stabs its claws into the earth, arches its back, and takes the form of a human man. “My grandson was killed.”
The Phoenix Crea from Henacre Wood. I should have made that connection myself. “I didn’t have anything to do with that.”
“I know.” Their voice is without inflection. They brush their white hair out with golden fingers. “I expect others will suffer the same fate and I do not want to risk my remaining descendants. There is a village named Coll three hours from here where a son of mine resides. I ask you to go to him and to bring him to your congregation of Legendaries.”
“My what?”
Fray’s fingers press into my back. “The Red.”
The Phoenix watches us with interest. “If you bring my son to safety, I offer you my aid.”
My fingers twitch. I want to call out to the Earth and attack this Numen with Majick. But I’m not stupid enough to think I would win a fight. “Why do I want your aid?”
“The Numina will soon be warring. You know that already. Legendaries will be caught between the opposing sides. Many of you will suffer needlessly. I don’t care for the Gods’ petty arguments, and neither do I side with any particular Numen. If I’m indebted to you, you’d be able to request my assistance in the event that you are targeted.”
They sigh. “I don’t pretend to care what happens to Legendaries unconnected to me, but your group has caught the attention of some Numina you want to stay hidden from. You have them paranoid, protective of their fickle power. With me on your side, should any Numen desire you harmed, they will be less likely to attack.”
I glance back for Fray’s opinion. She gives me a tiny nod and steps out from my cover, standing proudly beside me. She trusts the Phoenix.
“I’ll do it,” I say, “on three conditions.”
“I would expect no less from Venus’s daughter.” At my dark look they add, “Or from the famed Yasmin Ix Man. Relay your conditions.”
“One,” I say. “You do as you say. You help us fight if we ask you to. Two. You don’t try to trick me, o
r take advantage of anything you see or hear while helping us.”
“Agreed,” they say. “And the third?”
“Three. Tell me what this means.” I remove the crumpled envelope from my pocket and pass it over. The Phoenix’s beige suit barely shifts as they walk. As their eyes sweep over the foreign symbols, I pray I’m right.
“How did you know this was the language of Numina?”
“I didn’t.”
“What’s it mean?” Fray puts a foot forward but I touch her elbow, stopping her from getting any closer to the Numen.
“Some of the symbols are sketched wrong but it’s enough to piece together what it should say. It says ‘protect the Halfling at all costs.’” The Phoenix turns their intent gaze on Fray and my nails become talons. “How curious that it refers to you as a Halfling when I’ve never heard of such a thing.”
“Yes,” I say. “Curious.”
They take four steps back, letting the envelope fall from their hands and become dust. “I’m no threat to her,” the Phoenix says to me. “Nor will I be even if you refuse my request.”
“How do I know it isn’t a trap? That there aren’t Numina waiting for me in that place?”
“I assure you there are not. I am not particularly friendly with the Gods or my own Creature kin. But as a sign of good will, and because I can see how it fears you, I give you this.” They toss a small object to me and my Crea eyes pick it out and track its progress. I catch it effortlessly.
It’s a dainty ring, made of pewter I think, with a stone the same gold-green as Fray’s eyes set in the centre.
“To hide those who may seek her out,” the Phoenix says.
“Okay.” My conviction binds the vow in iron. I’ve never made a deal with a Numen before but the feeling isn’t entirely unpleasant. It’s a slight heaviness but nothing unbearable. “Deal. I’ll find your son and bring him here.”
The Phoenix bows their head and returns to their natural form. “You’ll know him by his white hair.”
They vanish in the time it takes me to blink.
I turn the ring over in my hand, inspecting the simple design. I hand it to Fray who puts it on at my tense request. I’ve no idea what I’ve gotten myself involved in, but if it means protection from the Numina and a way to keep Fray safe, I don’t regret agreeing.
The Beast of Callaire Page 13
