Chapter Fifteen
Fortress
My mind regained consciousness very slowly. I was hit with blurry images first, sights and scenes that melded into hazy dreams. Eventually they became clearer, though they didn’t make much sense. After a time it occurred to me the problem was the images were mixing with the wrong sounds… real sounds. Panicked sounds.
I thought I recognized Chevelle’s voice and tried to focus on it, to understand the agony. “Frey,” he said, and something brushed my cheek, warm and feather light.
The distant impression that it might have been the brush of lips had me drawing in a sharp breath, and I coughed, gasping to fill my lungs. The air shifted as those surrounding me moved in response. I forced my eyes open and found Ruby, Steed, and Chevelle. They looked for a moment as if they were suffering my pain… and then I realized the pain was gone, the siren was silenced. My breathing steadied, the fear abating, and their faces relaxed. Relief washed their expressions, but their postures remained stiff, alert. I pushed up to find the source of the danger and dizziness incapacitated me.
They rushed to kneel beside me and I could see that was how they had been before my gasp had moved them to standing. My throat was too raw to speak, so Chevelle gave me a canteen. I would have taken anything, but I was glad it was water, not hot wine or that foul-tasting elixir.
“What happened?” I finally choked out, but they were tight-lipped.
“How do you feel?” Chevelle asked. His tone was off, a little shaky. I couldn’t tell if he was cross or something else. There was something so familiar about him, the way he leaned over me, but my thoughts weren’t working right yet.
I tried to clear my head before answering. “I don’t know.” It was the best I could do.
“Are you hurt?”
“No.”
He glanced at my hands, wrapped tightly around the neck of the container, and then back at me. “Do you know who I am?”
Something about that was funny and I laughed, but it came out hoarse.
He looked torn as he posed the next question, tentative. “Can you tell me your name?”
I wondered how bad I was messed up for him to approach me with this line of questioning. “Frey.”
“Your full name?”
I rolled my eyes, and then wished I hadn’t as the room spun. I pressed a hand to my temple, reciting, “Elfreda Georgiana Suzetta Glaforia.”
They all drew in a deep breath.
“What?”
Chevelle’s sigh seemed to have let the air out of him. His fingers rested on the edge of the cloak beneath me. “Are you in pain?”
“No. Not anymore.”
He nodded. “What do you remember?”
“I was—” I faltered. I didn’t know why, but I felt protective of this secret. I didn’t want to tell anyone I was in my horse’s mind. I started again, aware of my annoyed tone. “I don’t know. I was just following you guys and then wham!” That pretty much summed it up. “Just pain and screeching.”
Ruby and Steed bolted to their feet as someone came in, but it was only Grey. “What is it?” Chevelle said, still kneeling over me.
Grey hesitated, rubbed a palm awkwardly over the woven material of his shirt. “A horse is at the door.”
Chevelle glanced at me, I hoped he didn’t see my smile. I knew it was my Steed.
Grey waited. “Well, should I let him in?”
Chevelle nodded once and Grey left as quickly as he’d entered.
And then I realized he’d walked through a door. I glanced around, confused about where I was. Gray stone walls surrounded us, but I’d been staring at an open sky, nothing but the cloak between my prone form and the cold earth. “Where are we?”
“Fort Stone,” Steed answered.
I snickered and Chevelle’s irritation resurfaced. I didn’t know if it was for me or Steed. “Fort Stone?” I asked anyway.
“Named for Lord Stone,” Steed explained. Chevelle’s gaze caught the other man, leaving no question as to the source of his crossness.
“A lord?” I tried not to sound too impressed as I took another look around, reassessing the walls. I wondered how old it was.
Chevelle stood, directing Ruby to stay with me until he returned. Steed followed him without another word.
Ruby must have known I was curious. Or she just wanted to talk. It was hard to tell with Ruby. “It’s been abandoned for centuries,” she offered, making me a bed as she recounted ancient stories.
She helped me move onto the blankets, the dizziness improved but my muscles weak and drained. I asked, “Why are we here?”
She twisted her mouth to the side, considering her answer. “We were in need of shelter after your… episode. It was close enough to work. Are you cold?” she asked, tucking me under a blanket.
“I’ll get it,” I said, waving my hand to form a fire beside us.
Nothing happened.
The vertigo was almost gone now; I was feeling close to normal, just a bit fuzzy. I tried once more, but it would not light. I pressed down the panic as I concentrated on pulling the burn together.
But nothing happened.
I sat up, holding both hands in front of me, palms up, as I focused on lighting a flame, any flame.
Nothing.
I reached out to move a rock from the floor. It didn’t budge. I concentrated on a pebble beside me. It didn’t shift in the least.
“Ruby? It doesn’t work.” I held my hands in front of me, helpless.
Panic was taking me when she laid a hand on my shoulder and leaned forward. I expected her to calm me, explain it would come back, it would all be okay. Glitter was in the air before I could stop her.
By the time Chevelle returned, I was loopy with it. He and Ruby sat facing me. She must have filled him in on my problem.
I resisted the urge to touch him. I always wanted to touch him.
“Frey,” Chevelle began in a measured tone.
I cut him off, trying to sound calm. “What happened?”
“It would seem the council has attacked us.”
I was too numb to draw in the quick breath I expected. My cheeks tingled. I didn’t think I could feel my hands.
“Attacked you,” he clarified.
Something came out of my chest that sounded like a moan. I blinked, too slow. “Attacked?”
“They must have tried to strengthen your bonds.”
I knew I should have been shocked but I couldn’t produce the feeling. “They succeeded,” I complained.
He nodded. “It seems it may have taken your magic completely this time.”
This time. I concentrated on keeping my head straight, to look like I was listening properly, acting properly. My attempt at concentration must have come across as anxiety.
“You found a way to break their bonds before. You will again.”
I nodded. My nose was itchy. I wiggled it.
“Rest now,” he said. “We have time.”
I reached forward, ready to ask him to stay, but he wasn’t leaving. He only settled in. Both he and Ruby were staying with me. I was happy… downright blissful. Stupid dust.
I watched Chevelle’s face as my eyes fluttered shut, exhausted. My dreams brought him close, a much-too-vivid kiss on the cheek that burned like fire. My skin was blistering, I could feel the color. It swirled around me and shocked me awake again.
I lay on the floor, eyes wide, body unmoving. I was weak, tired, still under the influence, but I heard voices. I didn’t move as I listened to discern if they were real.
They seemed to be close, but muffled—maybe in the next room or down a corridor—as they echoed off the stones. I thought I’d picked out Anvil’s deep voice. “Trapped here like rats… cowards…” He was outraged.
Someone else, Grey maybe, worry coloring his tone. “We can’t just leave them out there.”
I knew Chevelle’s voice, interlaced between the other comments. “She’s not ready… we can’t… too soon.”
&nbs
p; And a voice I couldn’t place. “… another setback…”
They seemed to be in disagreement but I couldn’t find the interest to stay with them. I faded back into sleep.
These dreams took me farther. My sight was off, not as clear, distorted. But as I lingered there, I knew the cause. I was seeing from a horse.
We were outside the stone walls of the fortress finding sparse greens to eat, which bored me even in a dream. I encouraged the horse to run and he responded immediately, taking flight down the mountainside. The rocks streaked past us as we ran faster and faster, the wind whipping his mane. A great bird perched on the dead limb of an ironwood tree and I jumped to it just as it dropped from the branch and flared its wings out to catch the wind. We flew still farther as I watched the mountain pass below. There was a scrubby patch of trees ahead and I could see movement there, inside. I tried to focus on it… familiar silver and white.
Commotion brought me back and I sat up, startled. My head spun. Ruby caught my arm to steady me. Her smile was strained as she handed me a drink of water.
Chevelle was near the entrance of the stone room with Anvil and Grey. They appeared to be preparing to leave. “What’s going on?” I asked.
“Nothing to worry about,” Ruby assured me. “Just a hunting trip.”
I was still muddled, but I knew it wouldn’t take three of them to hunt. And then I remembered the bits of conversation I’d heard when I woke. “Someone’s missing?” I took stock. I’d seen everyone but Rhys and Rider now. And the wolves. The silver and white wolves. “The wolves are out there.”
Each person in the room turned to me. Ruby finally spoke. “What do you know about the wolves, Frey?”
“Are they hurt?”
“We don’t know. They did not return.”
“Rhys and Rider?”
“They are attempting to locate them. They will not rejoin us until they do.”
I started to draw a map for them with magic and then cursed when I realized I was no longer able. Bound. Ruby had been right to drug me; I didn’t think I could have handled it otherwise. They were watching me, unsure what I was doing as I sat helpless and swearing. “I need something to draw with.”
Ruby pulled a piece of charcoal and scrap of paper from her bags. I rushed to sketch the path I remembered from my dream, focusing on the ring of trees with the most detail. “They are there.”
The men stood, motionless and staring until Anvil crossed the room to retrieve the map. He bowed a little as he took the paper from my hands and then hurried out, Grey following. Chevelle stayed.
Ruby turned to him and breathed a deep sigh but he didn’t respond.
My head throbbed and I groaned as I pressed the bridge of my nose. He was beside me in a flash, unspeaking. Ruby handed me another drink.
It helped, but I was still irritated about the binding. “Does this mean we’ll have to train again?”
Ruby snickered.
Chevelle answered slowly, “There has to be a way. You broke them before.”
I tried to remember how. The first magic I could recall was the thistle in the back room at Junnie’s. It seemed so far away now.
Ruby was speaking to him. “Maybe it was just the length of time…”
What did she know about how long I was bound?
“If we can find a way to test without endangering—” He stopped. “Don’t worry about it, Frey.” I wondered if I’d looked frightened. “We will figure it out.”
How reassuring. I meant to smile at him, but only succeeded in pressing my lips into a flat line.
“Rest now. There is plenty of time for tr—” He thought better of saying training again, finishing, “To test the bindings.” He smiled at me and, once again, I thought for a heartbeat he might reach out to me. But he did not. He simply stood and walked from the room.
Ruby saw me watching. “He’s right, Freya. Rest now. Plenty of time to get you straightened back out.” She stood and walked to the front wall. I hadn’t noticed the narrow window before, no wider than the flat of a hand. Ruby positioned herself in front of it, watching whatever was outside.
I sighed. Plenty of time. I fiddled with the blankets for a few minutes, tried a couple of times—futilely—to move tiny specks of loose rock on the floor, and then gave up and decided to read the journal again. I rolled away from Ruby and pulled my pack into the curve of my body, settling the book open but able to be quickly hidden away.
This morning, I extended my spell, giving Rune an extra day of sleep. It was a good thing, too. I found the camp right off and followed the tracks easily. The occupants must have run in panic initially, but then gathered back together and walked in a line, some two by two, some dragging sleds. They made temporary shelter in a cave, likely for just one night, and continued again. They must have moved slowly, and I could see they stopped often to rest. It didn’t take long before I’d found their new camp. I slipped into a tall tree to watch them.
To my shock, I found something I had never seen before. I watched for hours before I was sure, too stunned to believe it possible. I had heard stories, the fairies were always puffing dust about it, but I’d never believed it. Was I really watching humans?
I was pulled from reading, confused. Humans weren’t real. What kind of book was this? She had mentioned fairies’ stories. I wondered if this was fiction, a fairy ruse, given to Chevelle by Ruby. Or maybe the dust was still playing havoc on me. I glanced over my shoulder at Ruby where she watched anxiously out the front window. I shook my head, finding the line again…
But I couldn’t deny it. Their size was about that of an elf, but all were different. The men were thicker. Not necessarily with muscle, some more bulbous. The women were varied as well, some thin and wiry, some stout like the males. Their hair was in all shades—light blond like the sun, brown as the trees, one even had rusty red, his plump cheeks peppered with light brown spots. And there were so many children! They were loud and ran round the camp all afternoon. And they were just as varied as the adults. I examined their wide noses, rounded ears, and stubby fingers. Those who wore no shoes had short, thick toes like trolls. The men had patches of hair curled on their chests and forearms and some even grew it around their chins like goats. Their clothes were tattered and ill-fitting rags.
They moved about the camp slowly. Clearly they had no magic, and they definitely were the owners of the crude tools we had found. They spoke to each other often, their voices like the protest of an old hound. I watched until nightfall, when they settled into tents and lean-tos. They seemed to assign a watchman, wielding only a torch lit from the central fire. I slipped down from the tree and returned to the castle. I am dying to see what I can find of them in the books of Father’s study.
Laughter broke my concentration. Anvil and Grey were back. I looked to the front wall, but Ruby was gone, moved to the entrance of our room. She seemed to be waiting there excitedly for something. I slid the book into the pack and sat up to watch.
Chevelle came in and Ruby greeted him. “It’s fantastic,” she breathed. He smiled at her.
Steed was following. “Almost unbelievable,” he added, shooting me a look.
They turned to me as Rhys and Rider entered. They didn’t approach but stopped just inside the room and dipped into a bow. “Our gratitude, Elfreda.”
I blushed. I had forgotten the wolves. They must have found them. “Were they hurt?”
“No. And our thanks to you for that as well.”
I wasn’t exactly sure how that was due to me, but I smiled, glad they had found them and everyone was safe. They turned to leave and Grey entered with two spits of meat and wine. It almost seemed like a celebration. Almost. Their high spirits hadn’t quite returned from before.
I wondered how long I had been out. I wondered where the councilmen who’d attacked us were now.
The wine flowed. Steed took some food to Anvil, Grey and Ruby made their way to the front window, and I found myself sitting alone with Chevelle.
&
nbsp; “How do you feel?” he asked.
“Better. And worse.” Better because the dust was clearing. Worse because I was fuzzy again, bound.
He nodded. He was closer now, sitting opposite me, and I had the disconcerting feeling that I’d lost the bit of time when he’d moved there. He reached out and took my hand in his, his fingers gentle as he turned it palm up to place a pebble there. “Can you do anything with this?”
“No.” Frustration was clear in my voice. I had already tried.
“And no fire?”
“No.”
“So nothing works?” The implication was there, but I didn’t know what it meant right away. And then it occurred to me. The horse. I had thought he had shown up because I’d impressed upon him to follow before I blacked out, but I had already been bound again at that point. Should I tell Chevelle? I didn’t know why I felt so protective of this secret.
Chevelle drew a section of moss from one of the stones on the wall and it replaced the pebble. “Try this. They shouldn’t have bothered binding you from growing.”
I concentrated on it. Nothing. But I was never good at that anyway. I shook my head.
He nodded, giving up, but our hands still lay together, connecting us.
“Where are they?” I asked.
He’d been looking at our hands, but his eyes returned to my face at the question.
“Council,” I explained.
“They have retreated. They were able to briefly incapacitate the wolves, giving Rhys and Rider less warning of their approach before you were attacked.” He hesitated. “When we heard the alert, I turned. Your eyes were closed.” I didn’t comment, so he continued, “I was able to catch you just before your horse dropped. I’ve no idea why they attacked him. They should have been focused on you.”
I wasn’t sure they had attacked the horse. Maybe it was because I’d been there, in his mind, controlling him. “What happened to Rhys and Rider?”
“They broke to keep from fighting such a sizeable force alone. They circled back to meet us. In the disorder, they lost track of the wolves.”
“But the wolves weren’t hurt?”
“They had been strung up by vine among the trees, but alive.”
I winced at the idea. “Why?”
A wry smile crossed his lips and I couldn’t help but focus on them for a moment. “Because the wolves would have fought to the death, and Grand Council does not kill animals with magic.”
I remembered my mother. “Only elves?”
His mocking smile widened. “Only elves.”
They thought killing an animal with magic was evil, dark, but they were hunting us down. To burn us. I considered the alternative—pierced through with arrows, blessed with a prayer—and I laughed.
His eyes were intense as he reached to gently cup my neck, fingers resting at my spine, thumb grazing the base of my ear. I felt him urge me forward, and my breath caught, heart stuttering into a broken lope.
And then Ruby was beside us from out of nowhere, her words startling me back to the cold, dull room. “They’re coming in.”
Chevelle leaned back, his fingers brushing my collarbone when he pulled away. I bit my lip at the tingle that ran through me, and the corner of his mouth turned up into a different kind of smile.
He stood to walk from the room and I stared at the stone entry, struggling to keep my thoughts from spinning out of control. Too much had happened. Too much was wrong. My life had flipped, twisted into some strange reflection of itself, and I couldn’t reconcile the fragments. It caused me physical pain to think about Chevelle’s touch, about council, about what was happening, and I knew it was the bonds.
When Grey walked out, my trance broke and I noticed Ruby by the front window, wearing an odd smile. I flushed and turned from her, rolling into a ball on my blankets, remembering no more than the feel of his skin on my neck, the quirk of his lips.
I had to keep distracted, and there was nothing for it but the book.
I wasn’t able to find much regarding humans in the study’s library. But I had been right. Illustrations and descriptions matched what I had seen.
I know I took a risk extending Rune’s spell further, but I did not want to get caught, definitely not followed. I wondered if my sister was still at the original camp. Surely she wasn’t bright enough to figure it out. And apparently she wasn’t willing to tell anyone.
I was returning to the spot I had found the humans the previous day when I ran across one of them alone. I hid myself behind a patch of brush to watch him. He had a lovely complexion with a hint of bronze and cropped dark brown hair with a few tiny streaks of blond just around his face. He looked less like the others I had been watching. He was built like the elves, strong and muscled, but still lean. He wore plain pants and tall boots. His light cloth shirt moved around him as he walked, unlaced at the chest. He carried a small blade in his hand, but I couldn’t imagine what he was doing here unaccompanied.
There was a rustle from the brush several yards in the opposite direction I was hiding. He rushed toward it and I followed, unsure why he was running. The noise was made by a small boar and the human was chasing it. He ran after it, gasping for air, and I followed close behind, thrilling at the spectacle. The boar approached a ridge of rock and turned, giving the human the advantage. He leaped after it, blade held wide, and landed, slicing into its side and twisting the blade back out. He was leaning over its small motionless body, heaving for breath, covered in blood. I laughed, shocked at myself, but filled with excitement and amusement.
He stood, whirling to face me, bloody blade held out. I had to stifle another laugh. I managed to keep my reaction calm, only a smile.
He seemed disoriented for a moment and then his breathing slowed and his arms relaxed. He stared at me as if I were a delusion, a dream looking back at him. He was speechless and it occurred to me that perhaps elves were not a part of this human’s knowledge. I wondered if he would recover soon. I considered abandoning him and returning to watch the others, but his face was so interesting, the emotions so plain and readable there. But he wasn’t afraid. It was awe.
I decided to have a little fun with him. They couldn’t possibly be dangerous. “Hello.” I spoke to him slowly, but it appeared he didn’t comprehend. He merely stood gawking at me. I tried again. “Do you wish to speak with me?”
“Yes,” he finally stuttered. “Uh… hello.”
“I am…” I hesitated, unsure if I should tell him my name; I was on the run, after all. I decided on a replacement. “Lizzy.”
He seemed to like that. “I’m Noble.”
Now I was confused. “You are noble?”
He shook his head. “Noble is my name. Noble Grand.”
“That is a large name. You are a ruler among your people?”
He laughed. “No, no. Noble is my given name, passed down for generations. Grand is the family name.”
Generations? I was surprised again. I stepped closer, enthralled. “What are you doing here?”
“We are searching for a good place to start over,” he explained. I was scrutinizing his blade. “Oh, well, I’m hunting.”
He wasn’t as slow as I had thought, quite capable of conversation. I couldn’t help but wonder, “You were a bit… stunned before?”
He flushed a pleasing shade of red. “Yes.”
“Why?”
“Well, it’s just that you are quite beautiful. Surely the loveliest thing I have ever seen.” I smiled in spite of myself and he continued the flattery. “And then when you spoke, your voice… it’s like a melody.”
“And you are seeking a new camp?”
“A more permanent settlement, actually.”
“You have found it here?”
“We are undecided. Days ago we were attacked.” Pain washed his features. “A horrid creature took several of our men.”
I nodded. “An imp.”
“I’d never believed it to be true if I hadn’t seen it myself.” He was lost in th
ought as he continued, “We may move again. The risk seems too great.”
Suddenly, I didn’t want them to relocate. I wanted them to stay right there, where I could watch them. I tried to make him feel safe. “You know, I could protect you.”
He was incredulous. I decided to show him.
I stepped forward, noting his unease at my movement, and faced the boar that lay on the ground behind him. He turned to see what I was focusing on. I was afraid to scare him too much, so I decided on a small gesture. I held my hand out in front of me, emphasizing the action as I twisted my wrist in the air, the boar’s head spinning, the sound of its neck cracking in tandem with my movement.
He gasped and stepped back from me. I was afraid for a moment I’d shown him too much. He looked at my face, searching, and finally let out a breathless, “Magic.”
His face was filled with wonder. I had seen many impressed with my talents, but never with such an effortless show. I laughed to myself. It was refreshing to have someone so genuinely awed. He didn’t ask to see what else I could do; he wasn’t sizing me up for battle. I smiled at him and he seemed to think that alone a reward.
He was still speechless.
“Well, shall you stay, then?”
“Forever,” he gushed. It was a curious response but I had begun to think he wasn’t that different, aside from the obvious lack of magic, skill, and grace. Moreover, where many of the others lacked beauty, he did not. Unconventional, yes, but nonetheless… interesting.
I led him to a set of stones to sit, wanting to get answers to all the questions that had been burning in my mind since I had spotted them. He had forgotten his prey, so I offered to help him with it. This befuddled him, so I simply skinned and spitted the animal while he sat, staring in amazement. It was like he’d never seen fire before. It made the magic fun again. Like when we were kids, before Father’s ridiculous schedule. I shook off the memory of practice and focused on the human.
“So, how old are you?”
“Twenty-two,” he said, almost shamefacedly.
At first, I was shocked at the number; I thought maybe I’d misunderstood. But I remembered reading the human lifespan was very brief. I’d have guessed ten times that number if he were an elf.
“Why the hint of embarrassment?”
“They tell me I should have a family by now.”
“You have none?”
“A mother and father but none of my own. No wife, no children.”
“You are expected to have a wife and child after just two decades of life?”
He laughed for some reason I could not see. “Then you have no family of your own?”
“I am not expected to pair for quite some time, if ever. And children? Ha!” He was visibly perplexed so I kept talking. “I have a family as well, though my mother died recently.”
Sadness washed his features. “I’m sorry. Was it an imp?”
“No.” I laughed at the strange idea. And for no apparent reason, I told him the truth. “She died of sorrow.”
His brow furrowed.
We shared the boar and talked further, casually, as if we were old friends. He resituated himself on the rock, coming closer to me, and his shirt moved to expose a different color skin where it opened at the chest. I reached out to pull it aside and his eyes grew wild at the touch.
“Your flesh is a different tone here.”
He smiled, as if I were being coy. “Yes.”
“Why?”
“Sometimes I work with my shirt on, to avoid the burn of the sun.”
“The sun?”
He laughed, but then realized I wasn’t joking. “It is a tan… from the sun.” He pulled the laces and lifted his shirt over his head, throwing it aside to show me his bare chest. The bronzed color of his face extended there, but was a lighter shade. I examined him closer, taking his hand and turning his arm. The inside of his wrist was lighter still, close to the shade of my own skin.
I was still studying him when he spoke softly. “May I kiss you?”
His breath hit my face; I hadn’t realized how close I had gotten. It surprised me, as did his request. I had a perverted desire to let him. I smiled thinking of it. He took that as an invitation, leaning closer, his hand raised to touch my face. His thumb caressed the line of my jaw as he reached around, fingers tangling in my braids as he drew me to him. He started gently, teasing, and then crushed our lips together, his strong hand holding me there, his breathing ragged.
At some point, I became aware of what I was doing. I drew back. “I have to go now.” He looked devastated. “Goodbye, young Noble.”
“Can I see you again?”
I smiled. “I will return.”
He took a deep breath, satisfied. “I’ll be waiting.”
As I turned to go, I realized I hadn’t asked any of the important questions that had been nagging me. I’d have to try harder tomorrow, stay on task. I ran back to the castle at full speed.
Ruby cleared her throat and I shoved the book into my pack. I glanced over at her but she was still facing out the window. A moment later Chevelle walked in and she threw him a wicked grin, leaving us alone. I brushed the length of my hair forward, hoping to cover the heat that had risen to burn my neck and ears.
“Ready to resume training?” he asked.
That cooled the flush and I grimaced, moving to stand. I hadn’t done so since the incident and my head spun. I wobbled, and Chevelle was suddenly there, steadying me. I shook off his look of concern. “I’m fine. Really.”
He shifted closer and I became wholly aware of his hands at my waist. The grip he’d used to steady me became softer and yet, at the same time, his fingers tightened around me. My breath hitched as he pulled me against him, the length of our bodies touching.
My throat went dry, black spots swirling in my vision. I fought to stay focused on his face, so close. His eyes grew troubled and then he blurred out of vision as I went limp in his arms.
“Frey…”
I opened my eyes to the darkening sky. “What happened?”
“You seem to have blacked out,” Chevelle said, a hint of some emotion under his reassurance.
I blushed. He must have seen that coming, held me because of it, simply to prevent me from falling on my face. I was a fool.
He helped me up, this time holding me only by one arm. I took a deep breath. “I’m okay now, I think.”
His lips twisted again, but I couldn’t make out the expression. I could barely look him in the eyes.
I attempted every type of magic he could come up with, to no avail. I was beyond frustrated. Worse, I could tell he was being gentle on purpose, afraid I would break. I thought of what he’d said before, the dangers of messing with the bindings.
He must have read it on my face. “That’s enough for now. Rest, Freya.”
I didn’t argue.
Ruby came in, as if on cue, and Chevelle excused himself. I laid down, but irritation kept me from sleep. I returned to the book.
I spent the next several weeks visiting him. I had forgotten about the rest of the camp. He had become infatuated with me and I couldn’t keep myself from indulging him. I was thoroughly enjoying it—reveling in it, if I was honest with myself.
He persisted in trying to touch and kiss me anytime I was close enough to allow, and I let him sometimes.
He surprised me one evening, when he knew it was time for me to leave, grabbing my wrist and holding me there. I was stronger than him, but I didn’t resist his pull as he spoke. “Don’t go.”
I smiled. “I will return tomorrow. Early.”
“No,” he said, flush with emotion. “I don’t ever want you to go.” I laughed and he drew me closer. “Stay with me.”
I started to pull away and he reached up, placing his hands on either side of my face, feverish now. “Marry me, Lizzy.” I had long since gotten used to the name, but I wasn’t sure he was talking to me at first. It seemed ridiculous.
I stopped myself from laughing, knowing f
rom previous experience this would hurt him. I had come to realize he didn’t know what I was. He knew I was different, of course, knew of the magic, though I’d shown him nothing of my real power. But he didn’t understand I was an elf. I hadn’t explained, knowing it would do nothing but perplex his simple mind. He merely thought I was something special, extraordinary. But did he actually think I was human, marrigeable? I was incredulous.
But he was obsessed. The moment it slipped from his lips, he became more focused on that than anything else. Making me his bride. I couldn’t understand.
He tried to explain. “I want you forever. I need you, Lizzy.” The yearning in his voice was clear on the last part and I was surprised that I ached for him a little, felt for his pain and need. He touched me then and I thought I understood when he continued, “We could be together…”
Marriage. Yes, he wanted to join us. I bit my lip, undecided. Curiosity was there, too. And I couldn’t help but imagine. He was unmagical. He had no idea what I could do to him, for him, in such an intimate setting. What could it hurt, really? Sure, I could marry him, but it wouldn’t be real, I knew that. But the other part, well, I could do that without the marriage, couldn’t I? Harmless fun…
I smiled as I leaned closer to him. This was the first time I had initiated a kiss and he was grateful—more than grateful… overwhelmed with pleasure. I laughed to myself at what was to come, if this small, insignificant gesture brought him so much happiness. Our lips touched and he gasped, and then the breath turned to a low moan.
I rubbed the back of my hand over a cheek, trying to clear away the blush of color. The encounter was very… descriptive. I threw a wary glance over my shoulder, making sure Ruby was still at the window as I continued.
The days we had spent coupling had done nothing to diminish his desire. If anything, they had enflamed it. And his obsession with marriage increased tenfold.
I had not met his family, but one morning when I arrived at the patch of forest where we met, he proudly presented his mother’s wedding gown, a gift for me. He wanted me to wear it in our ceremony. I had never agreed to the union, but I avoided telling him it was not possible. It would be only valid in his mind. But then again, what would that hurt?
I accepted the dress from him, looking it over. It was poorly made and ill-fitting, but had potential as a design. I sat, using magic to work on the seaming and arrange the pearl strands and beading in a more pleasant pattern while deciding how best to deal with him.
He was watching me intently. “We will have such prosperity. Think of it, with your magic, we will be able to conquer anything. Whatever we need, whatever we want, it will be nothing but a flick of your wrist.”
I froze. It was irrational, I knew, but anger seethed. I couldn’t stop myself from thinking he was just like everyone else, interested only in my powers. My magic. And how it would benefit him. I turned to him, glaring, and he drew back, startled. “Is that what you want, why you are so intent on marrying me? For my power?”
He shook his head, mystified. The rage had overtaken me, though. The weeks of drugging Rune, sneaking out, my missing father—searching for a new wife, I was sure—all of it too much. I slipped. A small crack in my stability let out enough magic to hurt him. I didn’t hit him, but the surrounding trees and rocks were pulverized and I knew I had done too much. He stared back at me… afraid.
I turned and ran without another word. Straight back to the castle. In these few short weeks I had started to think of it less as a home and more as a prison. My limited freedom made me ache for more. My time with this human had felt like living.
This was wrong. I would return to him tomorrow, set things right. As I ran, I realized I was still carrying the dress with me. I couldn’t understand why I had bothered dragging it along, but my grip on it was tight. I rolled it up, tucking it under my arm as I approached the castle. My prison.
Prison. I pushed the book into my pack and finally slept.
When I woke, I felt better. Stronger. I was hopeful this applied to my magic as well. Chevelle sat against the dark stone wall, watching me. He seemed to recognize the change in my mood.
“Feeling well?”
I nodded. “I think I’d like to train again.”
“That is probably a good idea. We’ll be leaving soon.”
I didn’t know if I was that much better.
“Don’t worry. It is safe. They will not attack again so soon.”
“When?” I could hear the worry in my tone, despite his assurance.
“We will protect you, Frey.”
Sure. I might have rolled my eyes.
“We knew they were following before. Our mistake was in assuming they meant a physical attack. We will not allow them so close again.”
“So they’re still following?” Panic.
“No. Not now.” He paused. “They have accomplished what they came for. Now they will regroup and return. Which is why we need to move.”
“Why would we leave a fort?”
He laughed. “Trust me, Frey. We have a more secure location.” I must not have appeared convinced. “Please,” he added.
I sighed. What choice did I have? And then I laughed, because I couldn’t even trust myself.
I expected him to look at me like I was mad. Instead, he looked like it was… endearing. He stood and walked over to me, taking my hand to help me up. When he touched me, I tried to fight the heat that ran up my neck. I couldn’t and embarrassment caused my cheeks to color as well. I peered up at him through my now-dark bangs and could have sworn it amused him. I laughed at myself. The silly romance I’d been reading in the diary must have been affecting me.
I tried to stop my thoughts from returning there as we practiced, but it was near impossible. He kept working close with me, touching me. I knew I should have been focusing on the magic, but it was useless. Each day ended with nothing but frustration and exhaustion, naught to look forward to but leaving the safety of the fort. Only the book provided escape.
The moment I entered the castle, I knew something was wrong. I had gone in through the servants’ quarters, desiring to keep a low profile. When they saw me, fear crossed their faces and they disappeared from sight. My heart sped. I wondered if something had gone wrong with Rune’s spell this time. I decided to go check on him. I realized I was running.
As I rounded a corner heading to the practice rooms, I ran into something hard. The impact didn’t knock me down, but the shock almost did. It was one of Father’s guards… one of the guards he’d taken with him.
He had me by the arm, dragging me along before I could think. I couldn’t decide whether to run, whether to fight. And then we were in the throne room. My father’s face was indescribable, his fury almost tangible. I couldn’t bring myself to look away from him, but I saw Rune standing in my peripheral vision. I was caught. I frantically searched for some explanation. But he didn’t speak. He flipped his arm, dismissing me.
The tension showed in that small movement and I blanched. I started to pull away from the guard but he didn’t release me. I realized then I hadn’t been dismissed. It had been a direction for the guard. He wrenched me beside him, jerking unnecessarily, and then shoved me through the door to my room. I listened, but his steps did not recede. I tried the door; it was already bound.
I threw myself onto the bed. I felt absolutely wretched. Actually, I felt worse than that. I felt as if I’d been poisoned. The room spun and I heaved over the edge of the mattress.
When I woke late the next morning, I was covered in sweat. My head spun as I stood, but I steadied myself and moved to the basin to splash my face. As I looked in the mirror at my pallid complexion, my features twisted in horror.
Understanding came suddenly and would not be denied. I scoffed at myself humorlessly as my words taunted me—just harmless fun… what could it hurt? For half a second, I wanted to scream. And then my hands found their way to my stomach and rested there.
I drew in a shar
p intake of breath. I hadn’t noticed I had gotten so deeply involved in the story. I needed to rest, to finish my recovery and break the bonds. But I couldn’t seem to step away.
I was unnaturally calm when they finally came for me. I knew they would recognize the signs. But it didn’t matter now. I walked forward, resigned to my fate.
What I didn’t expect was their response. The throne room was full. And not one of them did not gasp when comprehension hit. But my father, and each of those present, seemed… pleased when they saw me. They had no idea there was a… human… growing in the belly my hands now cradled. I listened as their voices began, and then rose, clamorously discussing the news and what it could bring. I cringed as their words turned to the possibilities, the power I might pass down, the strength the new one might bring.
“We will leave at daybreak,” Grey informed Ruby as I read. Perfect. The news brought on nothing but worry, so I went back to the book.
Eventually, my father did seek to find out who the father was. I refused to tell him anything and he could not force me in my condition. I could see his plans for it already forming. I was almost happy it would not be powerful, half human and unmagical. I wondered if it could even be brought to term, I was ill so often now. The elders discussed it constantly—it was so unusual to be sick, but it must have been a result of the pregnancy. Several of them were assigned to watch me and I had to listen to their incessant chatter. They seemed thrilled not to know how or when I had gotten this way, carrying on about young elves and their quests.
Ruby’s hand was on my shoulder, shaking me awake. I hadn’t realized I’d fallen asleep. I jerked up, hoping she hadn’t seen the journal. It wasn’t lying there. I grabbed my pack, pretending to get ready, and sighed when I felt it tucked inside. I didn’t remember doing it, but I was grateful I had. I was really getting into the story.
I yawned and stretched, and then followed her out of the room. I was surprised at the size of the fort. We went down several corridors and passed a few doors before finally coming to a large, open arena where the others waited for us. Chevelle smiled at me as I passed him on the way to my horse. I started to command the horse to kneel, but then Steed grabbed me at the waist and threw me up. I took one deep breath before we kicked the horses into a gallop and ran from the fort in a pack.
Our pace finally slowed as the way became too treacherous. Massive rock formations loomed over us, loose stones underfoot causing the horses to stumble. The haze was so thick I couldn’t see anything but the riders in front of me. I only knew from the strain on my legs we were heading up, climbing higher into the gray sky and biting wind.
Chevelle rode beside me through the day. When we stopped for the evening, he pulled me down from my horse and stayed near as we sat on large stones around a fire. Ruby was telling stories again and everyone gave her their full attention… everyone but us.
“How do you feel?” he asked.
I shrugged. “Fine, I guess.” He seemed unusually concerned. He was also sitting unusually close.
He spoke in a low voice, though the others didn’t appear to be listening. I had to strain to hear. “I’ve been thinking about the bindings.” I turned to face him, his deep blue eyes on mine as he continued, “I was thinking there might be another way.”
He was hesitant for some reason. “How?” I demanded, keeping the volume as low as I could, palms pressed to the smooth rock beneath us. What is he waiting on?
“If… well, it seems you may have more control over your thoughts than you realize?” He phrased it as a question. Because of my secret. Was he trying to be respectful of it, or trying to keep me from getting upset?
I wasn’t sure how to answer. But if it helped, if there was a way to unbind me, free my mind and get back the magic…
I settled on a, “Mm-hm?”
He nearly smiled. “Well, if you were able to… move about…” It seemed to make him uncomfortable, searching for words. “Then perhaps you could find a way around it.”
I bit my lip and he reached up to gently pull it loose. His hand lingered, thumb tracing my bottom lip. I was definitely not imagining that. Warmth flooded my neck, my cheeks, and his gaze followed the flush.
His hand dropped to my shoulder.
“Please, Freya, try.”
All I could do was nod.
And then he stood and walked away. I sat unmoving for a moment, and then finally glanced at the group. They were deeply involved in their conversations, seemingly unaware of the encounter that had my heart in my throat. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, attempting to “move about” in my mind.
It was completely frustrating. Fuzzy, wrong. Nothing worked. None of it connected the way it should have. It made me angry and tired and the maddening fight against it gained me nothing but a buzzing headache.
I sighed and threw myself on my blankets away from the group. It was still daylight and I tossed and turned, unable to rest. I decided to go back to my favorite distraction.
The time came sooner than any of us expected. Looking back, I suppose it was fortunate. I can’t imagine what might have happened if a full birth ceremony had been prepared, if so many had been present. It makes me cringe to merely think of it.
The elders were there, though. My father and the others waited in the throne room, arranging a celebration. I had read everything I could obtain on the process during my pregnancy and imprisonment in the castle, even finding a few books and scrolls on humans. But nothing prepared me for what happened.
I had been walking when the pain struck—pacing my room with worry, if I were truthful. It hit suddenly, a stabbing, ripping, horrible thing. My screams called everyone to order, but then it subsided. However, it was only long enough to catch my breath and then it was back tenfold. I writhed in agony. Nothing they did would help. I could not control my magic; it shattered most of the things on the nearby table and twice caught the bedding afire. The elders were frantic, which only frightened me more. I had never seen them agitated.
This carried on for hours. My hair and clothing were drenched in sweat and I was near surrender. And then, with no more warning than when the first pains came, it was over. A small, sweet child was in my arms.
I drew in ragged breaths as I cleaned her face. I wiped her eyes and they came open, an unbelievable shade of dark green, sparkling like emeralds. She was a beauty. I wasn’t aware the room had grown silent until I wiped her ears and heard my own gasp. They were slightly rounded at the tips… almost blunt.
I realized I had stopped breathing as I read, so engrossed in the story. I reached up absentmindedly to stroke the tops of my ears.
I looked up then, at the elders who surrounded me. Their faces were astonished. “She is… human,” they said.
I took a steadying breath and spat out, “No.” They stared at me, incredulous. I spoke deliberately. “She is elf. I name her… Elfreda.”
My heart had stopped. And then it surged as blood rushed to my face, my neck. My ears rang. I must have been speaking or cursing. I could hear the sound, but could not make sense of it. Nothing made sense.
I was standing before I knew I was surrounded. Fury and fire swam in my head, my chest, my hands.
I heard them through the buzz. “Frey, what’s wrong? What is it? Frey… Frey.” And then, clearer, “Elfreda!”
My jaw tightened, my teeth ground together.
Comprehension crossed Chevelle’s face as he saw the book on the ground between us. He reached for it.
“Touch that book and you die,” I hissed.
He froze, staring me straight in the eyes. I was fighting for control, struggling to find my thoughts.
Then I saw it. He flicked a glance at Ruby and I knew. They knew. And it was all true.
Suddenly, I couldn’t catch my breath.
“Please, Freya, stay calm,” Ruby pleaded. They were circling me, their arms outstretched as if to catch me… or cage me.
Black spots floated in my vision. My head screamed. The sou
nd of metal bands snapping echoed through a scraping, screeching noise inside my head. I pressed my palms against my temples. I didn’t know I was going down until my knees hit the hard rock. I held myself there, refusing to give in.
They argued frantically. “Knock her out. Do something. She’s going to crack.”
Yes, crack. That was a good word for it. I felt as if I were breaking in half. No, being torn.
I sensed someone close to me, Ruby no doubt. She would drug me. I didn’t want that. I didn’t want that ever again. I slid from the pain, reaching out. I found nothing but the horses, but I would take it. I left my body completely.
My entry was so furious it startled the horse. I held him there, but when he raised his head from grazing, he was facing them. They were standing, kneeling, surrounding my limp body. I watched them, the horror on their faces, for an immeasurable moment. It was too much. It was all too much.
A raw, unbearable ache crushed my chest and I gave in to it, accepted it. There was nothing else I could do. I sighed, melting back into my own mind. It was quiet there and I wondered if I had cracked. But then it occurred to me that maybe I had been the cause of it. I was resigned now, the fury gone, and so was the screeching, the pain. They had said the binding was dangerous…
There was a collective gasp as they realized I was back. I heard someone beside me and a flash of anger swept through me, lighting a flame at whoever it was. So maybe the fury wasn’t completely gone.
I suddenly remembered the pages I had burnt in the briar patch so long ago. Burnt before I’d read them. My eyes flashed open. I sat up, ignoring my spinning head, but the book was already gone. I glared at Chevelle. It must have been dreadful, because he nodded and backed away, his mouth tight.
“Oh, Frey.” Ruby’s voice was low and soothing.
I grimaced as I turned to her, not at all wanting what I was about to say. “Go ahead.” I closed my eyes as her jaw shifted.
Frey Page 20
