by Gina Azzi
Sitting in the back of the taxi with him just twenty-four hours after I called Daisy in a panic from the back of another taxi is a bit like my life coming full circle. Last night, I thought I was about to lose everything. And while this pregnancy was completely unplanned, I don't know how I'd get through losing my baby. In such a short amount of time, barely four months, this little peanut growing inside of me has become my whole world, and I am so in love with him or her. It's unreal and unlike anything I've ever experienced or expected to experience. I guess becoming a mom is really one of those situations that you can't understand until you're doing it.
Denver reaches out and places his hand on my thigh. I nuzzle closer to him and rest my head on his shoulder.
"How you doing?" he asks.
"Relieved," I admit. "I've never been more scared in my life. I thought…I thought I was losing the baby."
His fingers grip my thigh, and I know he felt the same fear, the same hopelessness and desperation that I did.
"I'm glad I'm going home."
He turns to brush a kiss across my lips and his scruff tickles my cheek. “We need to call your parents.”
"We?"
"Me and you, babe. In it together, remember?"
"Yeah." I smile to myself, wrapping my arms around his bicep. "I think that's my favorite thing you've ever said to me. Not counting I love you."
"I do." His voice is low, his breath fluttering over the shell of my ear, causing goosebumps to break out along my arms. "I love you, Sierra. And I intend to show you just how much."
I kiss his shoulder before pulling back, so I can see his eyes when I tell him. "I love you, too. I think I've been a little bit in love with you since the first time I saw you."
His eyebrows spike. "Really?"
I nod, snorting at myself. "But you were so…"
"Unapproachable?"
"Yes."
"It was to keep you away."
"Well, I can see that now."
"I guess we have our little miracle to thank for bringing us together, huh?" He places his hand on my abdomen, patting it gently.
"Yes. We do."
"Do you want to find out the gender?"
"I think so," I say, after thinking it over for a moment. While I love surprises, all of these life changes happening in such quick succession have filled my quota. I think I'd like to know if the baby is a boy or girl, so I can at least pretend I have some control moving forward. Plus, there's decorating a nursery. Ooh, I can't wait to Pinterest with Daisy. "Do you?"
"I want to do whatever you want, babe."
"Let's find out."
Denver laughs, and it’s easy and uninhibited and sounds like my Denver again. "All right. We'll find out."
I lean back against his shoulder and let my eyes close, soaking in this moment, soaking in his warmth, and drift off to sleep.
"You ready?" I ask him as we sit in front of my laptop.
"Ready." He smiles back at me, not an ounce of nerves in his expression.
I FaceTime my mom and I’m relieved when she answers on the first ring.
“Sisi, I’m so glad you called.”
“Hi Mom.”
“Your brothers flew to see you. Did they get ahold of you yet? I tried to talk them out of it but you know how persistent they can be.”
“They found me.” I admit.
She offers me a sympathetic glance. “I’m sorry, love. How’d they take the news?” She asks, her eyes snagging on Denver as the edge of his face enters the frame. "Oh, I didn't know Denver was back.” Mom's eyes find mine, widening slightly. Even though we’ve talked about Denver a lot, she’s never actually met him.
I grin. “Is James home?”
"Uh, yes, he's somewhere. James?" Mom calls out over her shoulder. "Sierra's on FaceTime. Can you come say hello?"
A moment later, James enters the screen as he takes a seat next to Mom. "Sierra, I'm so glad to finally see you. How are you feeling, sweetheart? Your brothers told me you’re accepting the position. Are you sure that’s —"
"Actually, there's been a change in plans."
James frowns as Mom's forehead wrinkles in concern. "What’s going on?" Mom asks.
Underneath the table, Denver laces his fingers with mine and gives my hand a reassuring squeeze.
"This is Denver." I tug him gently into the frame.
"Hello." Denver manages a small smile.
Mom’s expression softens immediately as she sees Denver. “Hello Denver. It’s nice to finally meet you. And congratulations.”
James nods and says hello but isn’t quite as warm as Mom. It takes him longer to open up. In this moment, I’m relieved that I never confided in Mom about last week or she’d never be this kind to Denver.
"I had a scare last night," I admit, and her eyes flash with worry.
"What happened?" she asks, her composure regained.
As I fill my mom and James in on everything that's happened over the last two days, they both sit and stare and listen intently. Mom's eyes fill with tears on several occasions, and James studies Denver thoughtfully.
"I want you to both stay in the apartment indefinitely," James says when Mom allows him a word in.
Denver chews the corner of his mouth. "Sir, I don't want to take advantage of your—"
James holds a hand up, cutting Denver off. "Please. I know Sierra is comfortable there, she has her painting, and I’m not sure how much work she’s going to be getting done at the art gallery if she’s on bedrest but –"
“I can work from home for the time being.” I interject.
He nods. “That’s good. But if you did have to go into the office, at least you’re not too far. I think your and the baby's comfort is the most important thing at the moment. It's no problem for you and Denver to live there for the time being. We can discuss alternate plans once the baby is born."
Denver nods, his expression neutral. "Thank you, sir. I appreciate it."
"Call me James."
"All right. Thank you, James."
"We're going to find out the gender," I share, taking the attention off of Denver.
"Oh, you are," Mom breathes out, her hands clasped under her chin. "Are you going to do a reveal party? My friends’ kids are all doing that in the States. You guys should have a party. It's so fun. We'll fly out."
James turns to Mom questioningly, but her eyes are glued to me, her smile widening the more I fill her in on all things baby-related.
I laugh. "We haven't talked about that but if we do decide on a party, you'll be the first to know."
"All right," Mom agrees, her smile falling a bit.
I yawn and Denver's hand comes down on my knee, squeezing lightly. "I'm going to turn in. I'm pretty beat."
"Oh, yes, you need your rest. I remember when I was pregnant with you, I napped every day," Mom says.
I snort, unable to imagine my Mom, the Energizer bunny, ever napping.
"I'm serious. Those hormones are no joke. Call me this weekend and tell me how Denver does at his first prenatal class." Her eyes move to Denver and she smiles. “I’m sure you’ll be great but a new dad’s reaction to these things is always great fun for us women to talk about.”
Denver chuckles and nods. “I’m sure Sierra will have plenty of stories to keep you entertained then.”
Mom laughs, nodding her approval of Denver to me.
"I love you, Sisi. I’m so relieved you and the baby are okay. Get some rest and if you need anything, anything at all, I’m there. Just call me." Mom reminds me as she does every time we talk on the phone. She stares at me, her eyes filling with tears again.
"I love you, too, Mom. I will. Thank you. And thank you, James." I look at my stepdad.
"Goodnight Jenni. James." Denver looks at Mom and James and offers a small smile.
"Goodnight," James says, his voice stiff but polite.
I love how excited my Mom, and even James, are for the baby to arrive. A sudden pang aches in my chest, and I wish I could ca
ll my own father. I wish he would answer, and I could share my pregnancy news, and he would be...happy for me.
Once FaceTime is disconnected, Denver turns to me and his hands reach up to frame my face.
“How’re you feeling?” His thumbs brush over my cheekbones, his eyes intent on mine.
"Not too bad," I admit.
"Tired?"
"Exhausted."
"Bedtime?"
I nod, laughing as Denver pulls me into his arms and against his chest and carries me to bed, the door closing behind us.
28
Denver
The next morning, once I'm sure Sierra is okay and being looked after by Daisy and Carter and her brothers, I track down Jax's friend Migs at his auto body shop.
"Can I help you?" A guy looks up when I enter, his eyes giving me a quick once over.
"I'd like to speak with Miguel Sanchez."
"That's me," he says, eyeing me curiously.
"I'm Denver." I hold out my hand. "Denver Kane."
Recognition flickers across his face. "Jax's brother?" he asks as he shakes my hand.
I nod. "Yeah."
"Good to meet you, man." He regards me warily, his voice cooler than I would have hoped. But I get it. He thinks I'm flaky and with good reason. Jesus, when I make a mess of things, I go full disaster mode.
"I'm sure you think I'm flaky. Unreliable. And I don't blame you. But I'm really not. I'm usually dependable and punctual. A hard worker and a fast learner. I moved to New York to be with my girl. We're having a baby."
Migs's eyes narrow as he sizes me up.
"The past week was not my finest but my priorities literally changed overnight. My girlfriend had a scare two nights ago, and it sort of shifted everything for me. I want to work for you, man. I want this job. I'll do whatever you need me to do, and I'll prove that I deserve this opportunity. If it's still on the table."
Migs sighs and nods slowly. "I need to know I can count on you, man. This place," he says, gesturing to the photos of custom design jobs on the walls, "it’s growing and business is picking up faster than I can turn out the jobs. This is for real. I'm willing to take you on, to train you, all of it. But I have to know you're for real. I talked to your brother over two weeks ago, and this is the first I hear from you."
A vice squeezes in my throat, and I hate how many people I've let down in such a short amount of time. "You're right. I flaked, but I'm here now, and I'm one-hundred-percent serious. I'm your guy."
He nods once. "All right. I'm doing this as a favor to your brother. I owe Jax my life. But if you mess up just one time, one shift skipped, coming in late, bad attitude, any of it, you're out."
"That's fair."
Migs watches me for another beat before extending his hand again. "Welcome to Custom Carz."
"Thanks for the chance, man. I really appreciate it."
"You start training tomorrow. Be here at seven sharp."
"I'll see you then." I turn on my heel and leave the shop, but I can't stop the massive grin splitting my face. On my way back to Sierra, I stop and pick her up a bouquet of flowers. They’re not fancy or anything special, just a simple bouquet from a corner store.
But when I arrive home and hand them to her, her whole face lights up, brightening my world.
I know how lucky I am to have this second chance.
And I want to savor each moment of it.
Training begins bright and early the next morning. I'm outside Custom Carz at ten ‘til seven, finishing up a bacon and egg bagel sandwich and a cup of coffee.
Migs's eyes widen slightly in surprise when he walks up to the shop five minutes later, but he doesn't say anything except a mumbled good morning. Unlocking the door and holding it open for me, we begin with him walking me through opening up the shop.
Once we make it into the garage, he explains the process of Custom Carz to me from the moment a client calls to receiving final payment for a completed job. I'm given my own computer login info and handed a packet of designs and interior selections to study and learn about. He asks questions of my knowledge on American muscle cars, on technical issues, on interior. I answer as honestly as I can and have no clue how the hell I'm doing.
By the time Migs dismisses me for my lunch break, my head is swimming with information. Still, as I inhale a slice of pizza, I gotta admit it feels good to be challenged. To be learning and acquiring a new skill set. To actually be doing something with my life.
Migs shows me some of the jobs that are in various phases of completion and introduces me to the rest of the team in the afternoon. At four, he nods at me sharply. "All right, Denver. I like you, and I'm willing to give you a real shot. Come on in tomorrow, and we'll go through some of our current jobs. Thursday is Thanksgiving, and we're closed until Monday. That's when we'll begin your real training." He holds out his hand and I shake it, relief and a tiny swell of pride growing in my chest.
"Thanks, Migs."
"See you tomorrow."
I'm exhausted when I arrive back at Sierra's. It's been a long time since I've had to learn anything, and today was a lot of information in a short amount of time. But I'm excited and happy and feeling a sense of purpose that I haven't experienced in years.
"All good, man?" Carter asks me when I walk through the door.
I take in his appearance, his duffle bag slung across his shoulder. "All good. You heading out."
He nods, a grin working its way across his mouth. "Yeah, man. I gotta get home. Taylor and I leave for St. Maarten with her parents tomorrow for Thanksgiving."
"That's right! I can't believe I forgot all about that."
"You've had a lot on your mind."
"Thanks for coming with me. For everything."
Carter pulls me forward into a brotherly hug, slapping my back harder than necessary. "Don't mention it. Just take care of your girl. I'll touch base with you when I'm back. Happy Thanksgiving, Brother."
I snort. "Happy Thanksgiving, Carter. Have fun on your trip and tell Taylor hello."
Carter nods once. "See you soon."
And then he's gone, and I look around Sierra's living room. She's snoozing on the sofa, Daisy sitting on the other half of the couch, watching a movie. Callum and Lachlan are sitting at the dining table, their laptops open in front of them, their earbuds plugged in.
I'll admit this is the strangest Thanksgiving I've ever had, but I've also never been more thankful for anything in my life than I am for right now.
I wake up at dawn on the morning of Thanksgiving, knowing how much food needs to be prepped so we can all sit down for a nice meal together. I hit the markets as soon as they open, while the rest of the house is still sleeping, and buy everything I need. My turkey is awesome. I even add bacon strips and it’s just dirty. I also make a mean stuffing. Not trying to brag or anything, but there’s only a handful of things I do well…and Thanksgiving dinner is one of them. I learned from my mom when I was a kid, and it’s one of the only traditions the Kane kids have kept alive—a proper meal on Thanksgiving and decorating the tree for Christmas. After picking up my ingredients, I also grab a basket of apples, as Daisy wants to make an apple pie. Once I’m loaded up with everything, I struggle to make it back to Sierra’s.
“Happy Thanksgiving y’all,” I call out as I enter the door, slipping the two kids who helped me carry all my bags a few bills.
“Thank God you’re here.” My sister comes around the corner, nearly colliding into me. “They want to order out,” she hisses, her eyes rolling to the living room where I imagine Sierra and her brothers are hanging out.
“Take-out?” I ask, confused.
Daisy gives a vigorous nod. We stare at each other for a long moment before we both burst out laughing. I mean, I’m laughing for real. I can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard in my life. Daisy’s pointing at me, one hand over her mouth, her eyebrows raising at the sudden outburst. And the louder I laugh, the harder she cracks up, until we’re both leaning against the door, wiping
tears from our eyes.
“Oh, my God. That was hysterical. I can’t remember the last time… oh yeah, wait. I was a kid and Carter farted on your old girlfriend, Dahlia or Deana or something.”
“Dina.” I nod, remembering the night well. We were playing Uno and Carter was in a prankster mood. That was the beginning of the end for Dina and me.
“Whatever. The point is you really need to laugh more.”
I nod in agreement, still feeling the bubbles of laughter floating around my body.
“What’s so funny out there?” Sierra calls out to us. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard Denver laugh that hard. Unless, of course, I’m the one making him laugh. But now I realize I need to come up with better jokes.”
“It only happens about once a decade, so be grateful you were here today,” Daisy calls back as we walk into the living room, the grocery bags still on the floor by the door.
“Okay.” Callum looks up at us. “We’ve narrowed it down to three restaurants that do Thanksgiving dinner. Even though it’s so last minute, I’m sure if we pay double, they’ll squeeze us in.”
Daisy and I exchange another look.
“What?” Lachlan asks.
“Y’all, I’m cooking Thanksgiving dinner.”
“Kane tradition,” Daisy adds. “And if you tell me ordering takeout is your family tradition, I’m just going to feel sorry for y’all. You haven’t lived until you’ve tasted Denver’s bacon wrapped turkey on Thanksgiving.”
“You’re overselling it.” I nudge my sister.
“Bacon?” Callum looks up from his phone.
“Yep. And stuffing. Daisy makes an apple pie.”
“And pumpkin.” My sister smiles as she captures Lachlan’s attention.
“You’re sure it’s not too much trouble?” Callum asks politely.
“Are you kidding? It’s one of our favorite days of the year.” Daisy waves her hand. “But y’all gotta help. That’s Mama’s rule. Everyone helps out on Thanksgiving.”
