Blake pulled his lip between his teeth and cocked his head to the side. Finally, he replied, "OK. Thanks."
My heart gave a flutter when he accepted. Liking Blake was dangerous; I liked him already, so he had the power to hurt me. It seemed a lot like chasing heartache but I couldn't help how he made me feel. One smile from him and I was being reeled in.
Blake lived in a different town, so he didn't know anyone around here besides his mum, and she wasn't in any state to support him properly right now. His parents were both grieving. And as much of a mysterious loner as Blake was, he needed someone to be there for him. I had my friends who knew I was innocent, but Blake didn't have that. I couldn't help wanting to be that person--even if I knew better than to jump all in with a stranger I was seriously attracted to.
My attention turned back to Courtney's mum, who was talking about reading Courtney's favorite bedtime story, Little Red Riding Hood. Courtney loved it so much that her mum read it to her every night as a child. I blinked hard. Hot tears burned behind my eyes. This was Courtney's final good night.
I took in a deep, shaky breath, and my hands trembled. With every word spoken, I could feel the woman's pain at losing her child, her only child. "This isn't fair," I whispered and started crying. This shouldn't be happening.
I felt weak with grief. Courtney was my best friend, and I would never see her again. My heart shattered as her coffin disappeared into the ground. I sobbed and pressed my hand to my mouth.
Blake's arm curled around my waist.
"We'll be all right," Aaron said, glaring at Blake's hand. "I promise."
I turned my body toward Blake's hard chest, desperate to be consoled. I needed someone to make the ache inside me go away. Blake's body stiffened. Then, after a heartbeat, he held me tight with both arms.
I couldn't bear to watch another person I loved, someone so young, with so much potential, be placed into the ground. It had been hard enough when we buried Tilly and Gigi. I never imagined I'd lose another friend again so soon. We girls were always together locked in one of our bedrooms, listening to music and rating boys. It was hard going from a party of five to three. It took a long time to get used to not hearing them laugh or join in to tease the latest embarrassing crush. Now I had to get used to it being just me and Megan.
"Can we leave now, please?" I asked as Courtney's family scattered dirt on her coffin. I felt like my heart was being crushed, and I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep it together. "Yeah," Kyle replied. He sniffed as he nodded toward the yellow stone path that led us back to the parking lot. With a deep breath, he added, "Let's go and give Courtney the send-off she would actually want."
*
"Vodka and beer?" Blake said, raising his eyebrow at our choice of drinks. "Classy."
Megan narrowed her eyes. "Do you want one or not?"
He nodded, and Megan handed him a beer. Blake was right; they were stereotypical choices for underage drinking at the park. But we used to have a laugh messing around and playing silly games here. Everything was easier before we knew loss, when we were still all together. I missed it so much.
We sat in a circle on the grass beside the vacant basketball court, leaving space in our circle for Courtney. I wasn't ready to let her go yet.
"Should we each say something?" I asked. "Isn't that what you're supposed to do?"
Aaron nodded and took a swig of his beer. "Why don't we all say something about them both? I'll start. Courtney was one of the most beautiful girls I've ever known, and she wasn't cocky with it. She was modest and that added to her beauty. Josh..." Aaron said and laughed. "Well, Josh was punching well above his bloody weight, and he knew it."
"I'll go next," Megan said, clearing her throat. She looked like she wanted to be anywhere but here, doing anything but speaking about our dead friends.
She wasn't the only one.
"In the first year of high school, Courtney and I didn't get along. I thought she was trying to drive a wedge between me, Mackenzie, Tilly, and Gigi. It was only when my boyfriend dumped me that I realized I was wrong about her."
Megan licked her lips. "Mackenzie was on holiday and Tilly and Gigi were busy. Courtney had texted to ask if I wanted to hang out, and I told her what'd happened. She turned up twenty minutes later with chocolate and a DVD. She was a good friend, and I'll miss her so much." Megan paused, pursing her lips. "And Josh...Josh said some stupid, terrible things that I'm sure he regretted, but he wasn't an evil person. I wish I had the chance to work through our issues. Maybe we could've all had a better relationship."
Megan wanted to sort things out with Josh? I never wanted him to die--to be killed--but the things he'd said, the way he'd treated us, was not OK.
Megan looked to me. My turn.
I put my plastic cup of vodka on the grass in front of me. "I'm not sure where to start. There are so many things I could say, that I want to say. How do you condense years of friendship into a few short words?" Aaron gave my hand a squeeze of encouragement. I sighed. "OK, here goes. Courtney and I were pretty much inseparable all through high school, and I remember how excited we were that we had most of the same classes every year. She was always there for me and never judged me, or anyone for that matter. I couldn't have asked for a better friend, and I can't believe she won't get to grow old with us."
I blinked away hot tears. "We were supposed to rent a flat together. Remember, Megan? We were going to get a posh place in a nice part of the city."
Megan dipped her head and added, "Preferably one that overlooked a football club, so we could watch the guys run around in shorts."
I laughed and wiped a tear from my cheek. That was Courtney's idea. As long as we were near a fun part of town, Megan and I didn't care where we lived. But Court wanted to be a WAG, like Victoria Beckham and all those other footballer wives and girlfriends, if it didn't work with Josh. I was hoping she'd get to fulfil that dream. Court was vibrant, outgoing, and had enough confidence to date anyone...before Josh, that is. "Yeah, I'd almost forgotten about that part."
"What about Josh?" Blake asked sharply. "Aren't you going to say something about him?"
My stomach fell. I didn't like to lie, so I couldn't sit there and say how wonderful he was. But he was gone, and I could bloody well find something nice to add. "Of course I am, Blake. Josh and I had our differences, but I never wanted anything bad to happen to him." I frowned.
Blake opened his mouth to say something when Detective Wright sat down in the empty space beside him. Where did he come from?
"Didn't fancy the wake?" he asked us.
"Not really," Kyle replied. "Can we help you with anything?"
"You could tell me which one of you murdered your friends." He looked around, pinning each of us with his stone-hard gaze. "No? Worth a try." He threaded his fingers between each other. "I've just had your drug test results back."
"And?" Aaron asked, glaring at him.
Wright was arrogant. He had something about him, an aura that oozed confidence and made it seem as if he owned everyone. I got the impression that he knew a lot more about the case than he'd told us, and he was waiting until he felt it was the right time to share the information. He'd probably had the test results back days ago.
"You tested positive for Rohypnol."
My jaw dropped. "The date rape drug?"
Wright's thin lips curled to one side. "The very one, Mackenzie. You're familiar with it?"
"Everyone's heard of it," I replied. It was often in the news. It was the reason I got the never-leave-your-drink-unattended lecture from my parents whenever I went out. We were always hearing stories about women who woke up having been drugged and raped with little recollection of how it all happened.
Ice-cold blood pumped through my body. Someone had drugged us.
"Someone roofied us," Blake said, his voice loud with anger and disbelief. "Who?"
Wright shrugged. "Again, I was hoping one of you would be able to help me with that, but I won't be holding my breath."
"Wait?" I said. "Did we all test positive?"
"Yes."
"Even Josh and Courtney?" Aaron asked.
"Yes," Wright replied. "Strange, wouldn't you say?"
My heart spiked with the glimmer of hope. "But that proves someone else killed them." We're all in the clear. We were all drugged and the murderer used that as his or her chance. None of us could commit murder if we were all out of it. No wonder I'd felt so groggy when I woke up!
"Nothing has changed, Mackenzie," Wright said. "All this proves is that this murder was well planned. Premeditated. Whichever one of you has blood on your hands, you have done a very good job of covering your tracks. I'm impressed. Drugging yourself too--after the murders, of course--and hiding among your friends is incredibly clever. I must say this though: as clever as you are, I will find out which one of you is responsible." He pushed himself up. "Be seeing you real soon."
For the longest time after Wright had left, no one said a word. I think we were all too shocked to speak. I just couldn't see one of us as the killer, especially not one so callous.
"Is that man seriously accusing one of us of drugging the rest, killing our Court and Josh, and then covering it up?" Kyle spat.
"He's crazy," Aaron added. "He should be out there looking for the real killer, not making stupid, ridiculous accusations about us!"
So Aaron believed Blake was innocent now?
Megan shook her head and tears filled her eyes. "Someone planned this. How could you hate someone so much? Courtney was... She..." Trailing off, Megan took a deep breath. She wasn't able to finish her sentence, but I knew what she wanted to say.
There was someone out there who wanted Courtney and Josh dead so much they sat down and planned their murders. The killer even went as far as to drug all of us to make it possible. Josh pissed off a lot of people, but Courtney didn't. We had to figure this out and prove our innocence.
I took a deep breath. "OK," I said, trying to wrap my mind around the latest bomb Wright had dropped on us. "Do any of you know someone who Josh and Court had a problem with? Even if it was something stupid, you need to say it now."
I knew Wright would love to pin these deaths on one of us, and his latest theory that we drugged ourselves after murdering our friends would make sense if he could find enough circumstantial evidence or a motive. There was no way I was letting one of my friends go down for something they hadn't done.
No one replied, and I began to grow frustrated with them. Was I the only one desperately trying to figure this out? Did they understand what would happen if we didn't find the real killer? We could face a lifetime of suspicion. I didn't trust Wright to put as much effort into finding the real killer as he was putting into trying to force a confession from one of us. "Come on! I need you all to help me here. We can figure this out. We knew them better than anyone else. You know what's going to happen if we don't, right?" I said, desperately pleading with them to get on board and work with me.
"Yes, Mackenzie, I think we're all aware of Wright's fascination with one of us being the big, bad killer, but what do you really think we can do? None of us have a bloody clue how to catch a murderer," Aaron said.
I clenched my jaw so hard in frustration it hurt. "So we should just give up and accept the situation?"
"No." He sighed and hunched his shoulders. "I just don't know what to do or where to start. This is all pretty new to me."
Maybe we do need lawyers.
"We start by making a list of anyone who hated either of them," I said.
Josh's personality meant his list was going to be long. He'd rubbed hundreds of people the wrong way in the past. Of course, not all of them would kill over it, but Josh's enemies would be the answer here. I was sure of it.
I rubbed the ache between my eyes. "I can't think of anyone who hated Courtney. Can any of you?"
"Are we starting with Courtney so we can focus on who hates my brother?" Blake asked, reading me like a book.
"No offense, but--"
He held up his hand, and I stopped talking. "I get it, Mackenzie. I would have done the same. So...anyone hate Courtney? I didn't. Barely knew the girl."
I shook my head. Kyle, Megan, and Aaron replied with shrugs. No one knew of anyone who didn't like her.
"I feel like we should get a large notepad to list suspects for Josh's killer," Blake said, snorting in a humorless laugh.
"I'll start," Kyle said. "We all know the four of us had a problem with him after Tills and Gigi died because of the things he'd said about them, but we also know it wasn't one of us four who did it. Blake had issues with his little brother too, right, Blake?"
"Right," he replied. "But I didn't kill him either." He looked beside Kyle to Aaron. "Contrary to popular belief."
"Tilly's dad," Aaron suggested, ignoring Blake completely.
"No, he was angry but not at anyone in particular," Megan replied.
After Tilly's and Gigi's deaths, their parents dealt with it in very different ways. Gigi's were devastated but determined to make something positive by starting a charity to support families going through the loss of a child. Tilly's dad was devastated and furious.
Aaron glared at her. "He said he wanted to kill whoever was responsible for the car accident. Come on, we should at least consider it."
Yes, Tilly's dad had said--in the heat of the moment and out of pure anger and grief--that he would kill the person responsible for his daughter's death, but I didn't think he would have followed through with his threat. But we weren't in the position to overlook anyone simply because we didn't want it to be true, so I ran with it.
"Aaron's right," I said, arching my spine and sitting up. "Think about it. We were all in the minivan. We survived the crash and Tilly and Gigi didn't. The truck driver died too, so he couldn't pay. Courtney was the one driving, and Josh was the one who planned the trip and acted like an arsehole after. Maybe Tilly's dad held them responsible."
Kyle scratched at his jaw roughly. "I get that. He lost his daughter, and there's no greater motivation to kill than revenge for your child."
My stomach rolled over. That did make sense.
Chapter Eight
Thursday, August 20
"So why are you redecorating?" I asked Kyle as I stood in his bedroom. His furniture had been moved into the center and draped with sheets, exposing the dark, midnight-blue walls. Until ten minutes ago, I'd had no idea he was even thinking about redecorating. He had called a little while ago mumbling about needing to make changes and raging about how his room was too dark and depressing.
He'd been pacing since I arrived. I watched him walk from one side of his room to the other, staring at the blank walls. Kyle was very levelheaded, so this stressed side of him made me feel uncomfortable. He was passionate about the things that mattered to him, but we're talking about wall colors here.
His anxiety had me on edge. I tapped the outside of my thighs nervously.
"Just can't stand this shitty blue anymore." He held up a large can of light but bright green paint. His demeanor made my pulse skitter nervously.
I smiled through my concern. Something is really not OK with him. "Err...Kyle?" He was trading one extreme color for another. The almost-black blue was dark and moody, and lime green was bright and over-the-top cheerful. It was like he was desperate to force a happy facade.
"You hate it?" he asked.
"I don't hate the color, not at all, but there's no way I'd want it on every wall. You'll get a headache after ten minutes."
"I don't care. I need something vibrant. A complete change."
I picked up one of the many brushes he had lined along his chest of drawers. "Yes, it's certainly a change. Let's get started then, I guess."
He grinned. "What would I do without you?"
"Paint it yourself," I replied with a smile and dipped the brush in the can of white.
"You holding up OK? Yesterday was...difficult," he said, smearing paint on the wall haphazardly. Even though this was only a
primer coat before things got very green, I still stroked my brush up and down carefully, making sure the paint went on evenly.
Yesterday was one of the hardest days I had ever lived through. Not only was it a good-bye to Courtney, but it had also brought back memories of Tilly's and Gigi's funerals, when I'd felt so lost and empty. And to top it off, my friends and I had learned that we were drugged and framed for murder. Yeah, "difficult" didn't quite cut it.
"It was awful, but I'm all right."
"Hmm, lie."
I stopped and turned to him. "It's not a complete lie, Kyle. Right now I'm doing OK."
"You're focused on the manhunt. When the killer's found, you'll fall apart."
I kept quiet. Kyle knew me so well and had since we were kids. He was always the friend who'd given me the emotional support I needed.
"You know, I'm worried about that, Kenzie. I couldn't stand seeing you the way you were after Tilly and Gigi ever again."
Chewing my bottom lip, I considered what he'd said. I had been a mess when they'd died--a big one. I didn't eat for almost a week and barely got out of bed. It was so hard to accept that I would never see them again or receive a text gushing about the latest episode of The Vampire Diaries, yelling about a favorite character being killed off in The Walking Dead, or demanding we go to Nando's for dinner. It still was. Sometimes I'll watch something, and my first thought is to text all four of the girls. The truth was, I worried about it too. Even after all this time, I still felt raw over the feeling of complete helplessness. Maybe if I could have moved, I could have done something to help. I'd not felt so useless again until we'd found Courtney and Josh.
"I'll be OK. I have you, Megan, and Aaron." And Blake. Sort of. I think. The list of people I could count on was getting smaller and smaller.
"You'll always have us." He held his arms out, and I practically collapsed into them. Gripping hold of his waist, I held on for dear life. It was just us four now, and we had to stick together. "I'm so sorry, Mackenzie." His body shook as if he was crying, but he made no sound. Kyle was always so strong for me, lying with me until I fell asleep when Tilly and Gigi died, researching the best grief counselors in our area when I couldn't cope, and staying up all night to help me study for an exam. He needed to be able to let it out sometimes too.
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