“Boss,” I whispered into Giovanni’s ear when the opportunity presented itself. “Are your friends mafia, too?”
Giovanni burst into a chuckle the second those words spouted from my lips. He rubbed my head affectionately and said, “Yes, they are my friends, and no, they are not mafia.”
Upon hearing the word ‘mafia,’ Dawson sputtered on his drink, and Justin simply fixed his gaze on me. Kimberly joined Giovanni’s chuckling fit, and Julian shook his head.
“Little one, we are not like Giovanni,” Dawson said after recovering from his coughing fit. “Although, we do deal in some shady business, but nothing that could get anybody killed. Giovanni, why don’t you tell little one exactly what you do.”
That’s right. All my previous knowledge of Giovanni had revolved around him being of the mafia, but what precisely did he do? I couldn’t imagine Giovanni going around shooting people. Since the beginning, while I was still his maid, I had only been induced to collect money. In a way, I thought he was more of a loan shark, loaning people money with high interest rates. And if they didn’t pay him back on time, there would be consequences. As to the actual consequences, I wasn’t sure what kind of punishment they would be getting. But surely it would never amount to death. The thought of dating a mafia man who killed people made my stomach queasy.
I pushed the thought out of mind. I had lived with Giovanni for a while now and saw his many personalities. He may have a foul mouth and act spoiled most of the time, but he wasn’t the type to execute people with his bare hands. That, I was sure of.
“Don’t worry, Jay.” Giovanni took the time to address me. “I haven’t killed anyone... yet. Just as long as they don’t encroach on my turf.” He turned to his friends and announced, “Why don’t we toast to our friendship. It has been over five years now. Jay, what do you want to drink? Orange juice? Coke?”
My eyes were scanning the drinks menu when Dawson asked me, “Little one, how old are you?”
“Dawson!” Kimberly slapped him on the shoulder. “A man shouldn’t ask a woman her age.”
“What? I’m curious,” he responded.
“It’s okay. I don’t mind,” I said to them. “I’m nineteen.”
Dawson grinned from ear to ear. Moving to Giovanni, he teased, “Wow, Giovanni. You sure bagged a young one.”
“What can I say,” Giovanni answered proudly, leaning back in his chair and threading his fingers behind his head, acting like the arrogant mafioso that he was. “Lady luck is on my side. I finally found my beloved.”
My eyes sparked, and my heart swelled as soon as those words left his lips. Despite hearing the name many times in the past, it still sounded sweet and different every time, especially when said in front of his friends.
“You indeed are very lucky, Giovanni. Not everyone could say the same.” This was the first sentence I heard from Justin. I watched as he fixed his gaze on the glass of champagne. I sensed a sad vibe coming from him. Although, I hadn’t a clue what. Maybe being rich was not all it was cut out to be. They all had their own problems, too.
“Jenny, do you drink?” Kimberly’s question prompted me back to the situation at hand.
“Mmm. No. I don’t drink.” I shook my head in the negative.
“You mean you don’t drink, or you don’t know how to drink?” she emphasized the question again.
“I don’t know how to drink,” I said honestly.
“Good. Then I’ll teach you.” Kimberly was about to pour me a glass of red wine when Giovanni stopped her.
“Kimberly. Don’t go corrupting my little bunny.”
“Of course, Giovanni.” Kimberly put the bottle back. “Who would risk their life to do that?” But she winked at me as soon as his eyes left us, and whispered, “I’ll teach you later. Just the two of us.”
I nodded, gladly taking up her offer. A waiter brought my cola and together we made a toast. Glasses clinked and we chugged down our drinks.
Ahhh, tasty. But I really wouldn’t mind getting a taste of liquor.
My tummy growled, which reminded me I hadn’t had food since lunchtime, after a small shopping spree with Giovanni that morning.
I scanned the menu. And only ended up with a headache. Everything in this fancy restaurant was too complicated for me. Why was the entrée before the main course? Wasn’t an entrée supposed to be the main course?
Giovanni sensed my uneasiness. He quietly rasped in my ear. “Want me to order for you?”
I nodded. “Yes, please.”
He smirked, leaned closer like he had some secret to share, and whispered, “Remember to say please, too, after I give you my dessert, tonight.”
That devil mafia boss. Surely, he must have other thoughts in his head, not just sex all the time.
The food soon came after. I was so famished, I wanted to throw my manners out the window and just gobble the food down right then and there. But I had one major problem. Laid out in front of me were various pieces of cutlery. Which one should I use first? More importantly, why would anyone need more than one spoon and fork to eat? Oh, why does eating at a fancy restaurant have to be this complicated?
Then again, maybe I was the only one finding it complicated. Everyone here seemed to be at ease.
I really was out of place. And that feeling only intensified as the night grew longer.
Do I have the right qualities to be Giovanni’s lover? Was I even suited to be in his world?
The answer came to me straight in the face.
I wasn’t. And it hurt, somehow.
I really was inadequate. Just simple things like these I couldn’t master, so what right did I have to be his lover?
I looked down, disgraced with myself. What did Giovanni see in me? If he didn’t think I was his Jennifer, I wouldn’t even be here, in his vicinity, in his very world.
I observed Kimberly interact with Julian, and they seemed like the perfect couple. She was beautiful and seductive and sexy. He was hot and handsome and mysterious. They were a perfect match. Giovanni and I, we were a mismatched pair. I was the plain brown, mousy-haired girl whose lover could rival any hot-ass movie star.
I really shouldn’t feel this down. In the past, I used to not care about my looks. What mattered more was personality. But these days, I felt I lacked in so many things, and especially when put in this situation under bright lights and beautiful people, I couldn’t help but think of my all my flaws.
Kimberly suddenly pushed back her chair, got up, and announced to everyone, “Boys, we girls are going to hang out at the bar. You guys are so boring, talking about business all the time. Come, Jenny, let’s go.”
She grabbed my hand in the midst of the confusion and dragged me to a secluded place at the bar. It wasn’t until she sat me down that I knew she meant business.
Chapter 12
Confiding in a Friend
“ W hat’s wrong?” was the first question Kimberly asked.
I watched her blankly. She couldn’t have sensed my uneasiness back there, could she?
“What do you mean? I don’t understand.” I laughed awkwardly, avoiding eye contact. If I didn’t look at her, maybe she’d change the subject.
Damn, I was stupid. Who was I trying to fool? Kimberly could detect my mood from a mile away.
“Oh, Jenny.” She lifted my chin so our eyes met. With kind words, she comforted me. “You don’t have to pretend you’re fine. I could tell you were not comfortable. Did I embarrass you somehow?” she asked, trying to find the root of the problem. Before I had the chance to speak, she spoke again. “The boys are a rowdy bunch. But they are all good guys. Was it the food, then? I don’t like French, either. Too many forks and spoons. If I had my pick, I’d eat Chinese any time.”
“I like Chinese, too,” I said.
“Especially with chopsticks.” We chorused in sync, and somehow, we ended up chuckling along, too, like we were the best of friends.
“You’re smiling now. Are you feeling better?”
I
nodded. After that little laugh, I did feel a bit better.
“Thank you for cheering me up. And I’m sorry I spoiled the mood,” I apologized to her. “This was such an amazing evening, eating delicious food and getting to know all of Giovanni’s friends, but I kind of blew it.”
“No, you didn’t. Those guys are like a species of emotionless blocks. They can’t detect us when we have our PMS.” Kimberly really had a way with words. I laughed again, and when I finally managed to calm down, she took my hands in hers, and spoke. “I know we’ve only known each other for a bit over two hours, but I really think we could be friends. So, you can talk to me about anything.”
Gosh! I was frustrated with myself. I prided myself as the quick-witted, smart-mouthed girl, but for this one time, I was at a loss for words. I couldn’t structure my thoughts in a cohesive manner. So I said the one thing I could think of. “Could you help me?”
Kimberly looked at me quizzically. “You want me to help you? In what way?”
“I... It’s just... I feel inadequate, somehow. I mean, look at you.”
She blinked in rapid succession. “What about me?”
“Come on. You should know it yourself. You are beautiful, smart, confident.” I pointed out her positive points.
“And you are not?” she asked back, her eyebrows frowning in confusion.
What was there to be confused about? Couldn’t she see the difference between us? We were so similar, but yet so different in many ways.
She was refined; I was all rough around the edges. We both had brown hair. No wait. Mine was brown; hers had a chocolate hue, with hints of red-gold, accentuated even further under the rays of light. The color of our eyes reflected each other, but hers were of emerald green, the crystal everyone prized and valued. Mine, moss green, which everyone stepped on and abused.
My gaze flicked to our hands. We both had our manicures done. Mine from this morning, though no amount of hand creams or cosmetic products could erase the evidence of chapped skin caused by endless hours of washing dishes and cleaning toilets. My short, stubby fingers could never measure up to her long, lean ones. Those hands spoke of a woman who was well-bred and had lived a privileged life. Being in her vicinity only highlighted the sore points I lacked as Giovanni’s lover.
“Jenny. Don’t be like that,” Kimberly said when she saw I had paid too much attention to our hands. “You are perfect the way you are. Isn’t that why Giovanni picked you as his girl?”
Maybe Kimberly was trying to console me. I didn’t think it would work since my mental state was at an all-time low, but I listened to her anyway.
“You know,” she carried on talking, “I’ve known Giovanni for quite some time now. That guy is really picky. Like I said before, he’s an ass. Especially toward women. If he didn’t like them, he wouldn’t even give them the time of day. I’m sure there is something about you that he likes.”
Of course there was. I was merely a substitute to his little friend Jennifer, whom he knew in the past. But I couldn’t tell her that.
“I don’t know,” I mumbled, my gaze flicking anywhere else but at her.
“I can see you are struggling to tell me. Why don’t we change the subject?”
“To what?”
“Mmm.” She thought for a bit. “How about you tell me how you met Giovanni?”
“How I met Giovanni?”
“Mm-hmm.” She nodded, her hand under her chin, looking relaxed and poised, ready to take in my story.
I shifted in my seat, clearly uncomfortable with the topic.
“Um,” I mumbled, “my story is boring. There’s really nothing interesting to tell, at all. What about yours?” I diverted the subject back to her. “How did you meet Julian?”
“Me?” She drew back, clearly surprised by the turn of events. But she wasn’t uncomfortable like I was. She smiled, closed her eyes, and leaned into her palm. Her eyes held a look of nostalgia when they opened up, as if her mind was traveling down memory lane once again. “Mmm. Let’s see. Where do I start?
“Julian and I... our relationship is really turbulent, has been right from the get-go. You could almost say it’s more of an adult love. I’m not saying that your love life with Giovanni isn’t one, but I think your relationship feels more innocent and sweet. If my story were to be made into a film or TV series, it would be rated R. Contains strong sexual reference and lots of sexual situations.” She laughed, giggling about whatever memory she’d dug up. “Julian and I, we both had our ups and downs. We went through many situations filled with betrayals and manipulations. But somehow, in the end, we still stuck together.” Kimberly shook herself out of the past and smiled at me. “But that’s all in the past now. We learned from our mistakes and vowed to make a better future together.
“But enough about me, though. Let’s talk about you. Tell me, what kind of help do you need? Seducing Giovanni? Roping him into bed? I’m an expert in these fields. Julian and I had many sexual adventures together. I would be more than happy to help you out with a few techniques.”
“No, no. Not that. Not that at all.” I blushed, waving away the idea as one already formed inside my head. Although, one side of me did want to tell her I sucked at seducing Giovanni, but that wasn’t the root of the problem today. The problem was me and my inability to be his ideal girlfriend.
“I want you to teach me how to drink,” I said.
“To drink?” Kimberly asked, doing a drinking gesture with her hand.
I confirmed again with a nod. “Yes. You did say you were going to teach me how to drink, remember?” I reminded her.
Kimberly laughed. “Oh, Jenny, you are so cute. Of course, the offer will always be open. You have come to the right teacher. I could drink for days without getting drunk.”
A bartender walked past, and she snatched his attention, ordering two shots. The bartender poured the shots into two small glasses and passed them to her. She slid one across to me.
I picked up my glass and surveyed it. “What kind of drink is it?”
“It’s a gin and tonic. Very intoxicating. And delicious,” she added.
I didn’t need a gin and tonic to make me intoxicated. I was already intoxicated by this whole atmosphere, this environment, and most of all that guy over there, sitting across the room from us, my mafia boss, calmly discussing his business affairs, while Kimberly and I talked girly things and drank intoxicating liquids.
I took a sip and almost spewed it back out.
Sheesh! I sucked at this.
“This tastes awful.” I hung my tongue out like a dog.
“The taste is unique. But you’ll soon learn to love it. Trust me.” She lifted her own glass and chugged it all down in one go. “Ahhh. That was good. All this talk of boys is getting me thirsty. Another glass?”
Even though it tasted disgusting, I nodded my head for another round.
I had to do this. Mastering the art of consuming liquor was the first step to becoming Giovanni’s ideal girl.
Maybe Kimberly loved drinking and she simply wanted someone to drink with, or maybe she was trying to get me drunk so I could spill out all my problems to her. Either way, it worked. My mouth was like a broken dam, pouring out all my inner feelings for her ears.
“You know how I met Giovanni?” I started my story, the memory bubbling up to the surface, that moment when I first met Giovanni still fresh in my mind. “I delivered a letter on behalf of my Pa to him. Didn’t realize the letter was actually a contract. In exchange for my Pa’s debt, I was the collateral. In the end, I became Giovanni’s maid.”
Kimberly stayed silent, listening to every single word I spoke. There was no stopping me now. The lid of my bottled-up feelings had been broken. I carried on talking.
“It’s pathetic, Kimberly. Every time I think about it, it pisses me off. I’m hurt inside that they chose to abandon me, when together we could have thought of a solution. It still hurts now, because I just can’t understand why they would do something like that. I mean
, we were flesh and blood.”
“Oh, Jenny. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you that question.”
“No, not your fault. I wanted to tell you. I’m okay now. I don’t think of them much anymore. When I think back, it was like a blessing in disguise, because in a way, Giovanni has been my savior. Without him, who knows where I might be. You know, I used to dislike him when I first worked as his maid. He can be really scary when he’s mad, but once I got to know him more, I realized he’s such a soft kitten.”
“You seem happy when you talk about him. Do you love him?” Kimberly asked that one question I dreaded.
But somehow, the words that came out of my mouth didn’t surprise me, because I’ve known for a long time now that what I was feeling for Giovanni was love.
“I love him, Kimberly. I don’t know when it started, but I love him. Maybe it was ever since I was his maid. He totally captivated me. Just his presence alone allured me. And now, he’s intoxicated me. He’s like my air, my oxygen, that substance I need to survive. And that’s why I’m so scared of the future.”
“Why, Jenny? What are you scared of?”
I chugged another shot down, the liquid burning my throat, but it also boosted my confidence, and I carried on confiding in her. “I’m afraid he’ll leave me when he finds out I’m not the real person he thought I am.”
“What do you mean?”
“He thinks I’m a girl from his past,” I mumbled, feeling sad and depressed again. “He keeps on saying I’m his Jennifer. I keep wanting to tell him that I’m not, but I’m scared that if he finds out, he will kick me out. Not only that, but I’ll have to pay him back the three million dollars that Pa owes. And I’m sure my heart will be broken. No, I’m positively sure it will be shattered into smithereens. I’ve never been in love, Kimberly. He’s my first love. That’s why I’m acting like this. It’s horrible, this feeling of insecurity.”
“So, he thought you were his long-lost friend,” Kimberly concluded after listening to my verbal garbage.
Totally Intoxicated Page 9
