“Um.” He was suddenly flustered. A second ago he was all macho and angry, and now he was reduced to a whimsical boy who couldn’t even say a word.
No, I was wrong. Maybe he needed to pee. He was fidgeting nonstop in his chair.
“Crispin, you all right? You need to go pee? The bathroom is over there. We can talk after you’ve done your business.”
“I don’t need to pee, Jenny.” He fidgeted again.
“You look like you do,” I said. “Go relieve yourself.”
“Would you stop talking about peeing?” He gasped in exasperation. “I just peed before I got here.” He took out his handkerchief and patted his perspiring forehead.
“Now what? Why are you sweating like that? Is the room too hot? Should we move closer to the air conditioner?” I swung my head around to locate their air conditioner.
“I’m really fine. We don’t need to change seats. I... I want to talk about something.”
“Okay, I’m listening.” I waited.
And still nothing. Instead, he drank his water. He put his glasses down, then picked them up and drank some more.
“Look, are you going to talk or keep drinking water? Drink any more, and you really might need to go pee.”
“Jenny, please.” He sounded desperate.
“So, tell me then. Don’t leave me in suspense. Is something troubling you? I can help.”
“Can you really help me?”
“If it’s something within my capability, of course I’ll help.”
I sat up straight, giving him my full attention. I was prepared to help him out in any way I could. Crispin had been my good friend since day one. He’d helped me through some tough times. There’s no way I’d turn my back on him and let him suffer alone.
“How long have we been friends?” Okay, where did that come from? I thought it might be some exam problems. I wasn’t expecting that one.
“Um... Let’s see now. We met in middle school, and now we’re at first year university. I’d say about five or six years now, give or take a few months.”
“Seven years, four months, eleven days, and eight hours.” He reeled off the number from the top of his head.
My eyes danced like sparkly stars. “Wow, you even counted the hours. What a good memory you have. I’m sure you’ll get one hundred percent on your exam results, for sure. Now I don’t have to worry about consoling you when our results come out.”
“Do you remember the first day of middle school?” he asked again, bringing us back to that subject. I was curious. Why was he talking about how we first met? “It was during spring, and the cherry tree was in full bloom. I was standing next to that cherry tree.”
“Hahaha,” I laughed, scratching my head and feeling embarrassed when that memory struggled to flood back. “Now that you say it, I do remember. You were that tall, gangly boy. I thought you were a female model, posing for the school magazine. You were so beautiful with your long legs and lustrous wavy hair. I went to say hi, thinking you were a girl. That was so silly of me.”
“I’m glad you came to say hi.”
“I’m glad you weren’t a girl, ’cause, man, those girls in middle school sure were bitchy.”
Just then, Lily walked by and placed a love heart croissant on the table beside Crispin. I eyed the delicious pastry with interest.
“You ordered a love heart croissant?” I asked him, and suddenly my curiosity kicked up a full notch.
It finally clicked. The reason why Crispin had asked me out was because he was about to confess to the girl he liked, and that girl was sitting right here inside this very café. Of course. How stupid of me.
I almost squealed, doing a three-sixty spin to check out all the girls and guys in the café. A majority of them were people our age. That was a good sign. They were all so pretty and handsome, too, so that was a bonus. But most importantly, they must be faithful and love Crispin to the bone.
Goddammit, which one was it? And was this person a girl or a guy? The suspense was killing me.
“Jenny, you know I like someone, right?”
“Yeah. It just only occurred to me now.” I nodded, getting giddy again. “So, tell me, who is the person? I checked out most of the girls and guys here. They are all pretty hot.”
“First of all, it’s not a guy. I’m not gay.”
“Okay, then that eliminates thirty percent of the people here. So, who is she?”
“You once told me I should confess to the person I like, using this love heart croissant, remember?”
“Yes, I remember. I suggested it here in this very café. Glad you took my advice seriously. So, tell me. Who is she? Who are you going to give it to? Gosh, there are so many cute girls here. I can’t tell which one. Quick. Tell me quick. You’re keeping me in suspense here.” I couldn’t hold in my excitement any longer. My eyes were scattering from left to right, searching for the one girl that had captivated my friend’s heart.
“Jenny, look at me.”
My eyes were like a light beam. They swiveled back to focus on Crispin as soon as I heard his command. And they grew even more confused as I saw him moving that plate of croissant toward me.
I alternated my gaze between Crispin and the plate of croissant sitting in front of me, silently asking what the meaning of all this was. He understood me very well, without me having to articulate my question.
“We’ve been friends for seven years, four months, and eleven days now,” he stated, his voice pitched high as if struggling to oust his feelings. “You’re the only best friend I have. I’m very fortunate to have known you. But I realize it’s not enough. I’ve been fighting my own feelings for a while now. Maybe since high school. I know I can’t keep this up any longer, because not seeing you for just a week had me going nuts. I feel that now is the right time to tell you.” He cleared his throat. “Jenny, can you insert the word boy in front of friend, when referring to me from now on?”
I blinked, my heart thumping wildly.
Crispin.
He...
He wanted to be my boyfriend.
But how? We’ve always been close, but I never sensed that he liked me. Well, not romantically, anyway. Unless I was so dense, I couldn’t decipher his body language.
“I know it’s out of the blue,” he said, trying to convey his thoughts and feelings to me, “but your family had abandoned you. You kept telling me that they went to live somewhere else and you chose to live here by yourself, but I knew you were just trying to protect them. I know you, Jenny. You would never cause trouble for anyone. You prefer to suffer by yourself. But I want to share your burden. Let me help you. Jenny, I like you. No... that came out wrong. I don’t just like you. I love you. For a long time now.”
“Well, too fucking bad, she doesn’t love you. She loves me.” A deep baritone voice descended from somewhere on my right. My skin tingled in response, and I recognized that voice immediately.
I shifted my gaze to the right and saw him, my lover, my mafia boss, the man who ignited all my passion. Our eyes locked, and he sent me a silent message.
You can’t fucking love him, because you fucking love me.
“Who are you?” Crispin cut through our gaze, shifting my focus back to him.
Giovanni smirked and grabbed my wrist, jerking me up until I stood right next to him. Strong fingers clamped around my waist, tugging me to rest against his chest cavity. I was now bound by his strong masculine arms.
“Let me introduce myself. I’m Giovanni Dente, the mafia boss of the Dente clan, and Jay is my lover.”
Giovanni was never one to be predictable. And this was one of those moments. Through my hazy mind, I felt his finger on my chin, tilting it up until all I saw was his face. A split second later, my world was filled with him, his touch, his taste, and most of all, his tongue in my mouth. He was kissing me in public.
Through my dazed state, I caught a glimpse of Crispin. All I saw was the look of shock on his face as he stared back at me, being kissed by my lover
.
I pushed Giovanni off me, said to Crispin, ‘Wait here. I’ll be back,” then stormed outside, dragging Giovanni with me.
I rounded to the back of the café until we were isolated and pushed him against the wall. “Boss, what are you doing here?”
“That’s a question I should be asking. What the fuck were you doing here with that twerp?”
“He’s not a twerp. He’s my best friend. And you shouldn’t be kissing me in front of him.”
“Why not? You’re my girl. We’ve fucked countless times before; why can’t I claim you as mine? If I want to kiss you, I will fucking kiss you.” And he did, kiss me, right there, me against the wall, until I had no way out. He sucked at my mouth until I was literally out of breath. I pushed him back, only for him to bounce back harder. He tugged at my chin, nibbling at my lower lip. My knees went weak. At a moment of quick respite, I breathlessly said, “Boss, stop it. This is not cool.”
“Well, you should have thought about it before playing a game behind my back. Tell me, Jay, what were you planning to do behind my back?”
Chapter 18
Miscommunication
His breath came out harshly. His eyes were burning fire. With lust and with fury.
For fuck’s sake! For the first time in his life, he was having a fight with his lover. But this was not like any normal fight. They weren’t fighting over a minuscule issue like adopting a cat or dog. No, this involved a third party, another guy. Fucking God, he was mad.
Never in his mind had he envisioned his love life would come to this. Once he’d found his Jennifer, they’d live in peace. He, moving away from the life of the mafia, and she, studying or doing whatever the heck she wanted in her life. Just as long as they got to live together. Just the two of them. Peacefully.
Except it had come to this. Ever since he’d given her that fucking phone.
He’d thought by taking her to Singapore for a few days for a hiatus that she might forget her phone. It kind of worked. But as soon as they arrived back in New York, her head was literally glued to her phone again. And he’d wondered why. Until now. The answer was right there. Less than twenty hours and here she was, meeting with him. What a fool he was for playing the detective and following her here.
When he saw them holding hands, his world came crashing down. And before he knew it, he’d crashed into their scene, smacking his lips to his lover to prove to that twerp that Jay only belonged to him, and only he had the right to kiss her.
But it had all backfired, because now Jay was super pissed. She vomited out words of how he shouldn’t act like that in public, and especially in front of her best friend.
Fuck the best friend. He didn’t even know she had a friend, let alone a best friend who’s a guy.
Fuck! This was all wrong. It should have been him who was pissed. But seeing her this pissed made him even more pissed.
“Explain to me, Jay, who the fuck was that twerp, or I’ll go bash his head in.”
“I already said it; he’s my best friend, and you can’t go bash his head in. It’s wrong. And I’ll still be mad at you.”
“You don’t think I’m mad at you right now, seeing you holding hands with him? I don’t like it when you go behind my back, Jay.”
“I’m not going behind your back.”
“Then why did you meet up secretly, behind my back.”
“I wasn’t secretly meeting him. We’re in public. Today is a school day. Plus, how was I to know that you’d followed me here. You don’t trust me?”
“Trust? Jay, I’m finding it hard to trust you when you don’t fucking tell me who your friends are. And don’t say I didn’t introduce you to my friends because I fucking did. You’ve met Dawson, Justin, and Julian. I trust you enough to let you go to school on your own, even when I suggested Bobby drop you off. But you refused, saying you were capable of going by yourself. So, I trusted your judgment. I trusted you enough to give you your own free space, your very own bedroom, even when we already shared a bed. But what about you? How can I trust you when you’re hiding things from me?”
Her face suddenly changed, from a pissed-off look to a look of regret.
What the hell! And then she suddenly spouted out, with tears sprouting from her eyes, “You’re right, Boss. I’m a really bad person.”
“I’m still mad, Jay. Why are you crying?” He was taken aback by the change of her demeanor.
Fuck, this made him feel like he was the bad guy, and he kind of felt remorseful for making her cry. Were his words too harsh? But it didn’t make sense. Jay was never like this. Before, she would always yell back at him. A word for a word. A tooth for a tooth. Now, she just stood there in complete silence, with tears slowly sliding down her cheeks. He felt sick, like someone had thrown a ten-pound stone into his gut. “Tell me, Jay, why are you crying?”
He held her in his arms, shaking her so he could get his answer. And when it came, it wasn’t the one he was after.
“Because I’m a bad person. I have to come clean. Boss, thank you for awakening me. I have to set things right.”
What? He watched as she shook herself free from his grip and sprinted off back into Café Love Sick.
“Where are you going?” he yelled from where he stood, completely and utterly mad now.
“To Crispin!”
“What? You chose that twerp over me?” His eyes glared red. Fuck, he couldn’t believe his ears. He lost to that loser kid.
“Go home first. I need to clear something up with him. Then I’ll talk to you.”
And then she was gone. Out of his sight.
Oh, the nerve of that girl. The nerve... Giovanni was vibrating with anger; he was literally buzzing in flames.
Fuck! Why did he even tolerate such atrocious behavior? No girl had ever done that to him before.
Fine! He’d go back home. He didn’t fucking care anymore. When she came back, he’d give her his two cents.
“Who was that guy? Was he your lover, like he said?”
It was so painful to tell him, but I had to. Giovanni was right. I was a deceitful person. How could I call Crispin my best friend when I had lied to him? Again and again. What kind of awful person could do that to their own friend?
“Crispin, I’m sorry.”
“So, it’s true then. He is your boyfriend.” His face saddened.
“Yes. His name is Giovanni.”
Crispin looked hurt. I was also hurt. But I had to carry on. Enough of this. No more lies. “And I also live with him.”
“What about your landlord? Didn’t you say that you boarded with him?”
“The truth is Giovanni is my landlord.”
And another kick to the gut. The pain in his eyes showed it all. The more I spoke the truth, the more it hurt him. But I had to do this. I didn’t want to continue to be this person anymore, constantly lying just to get out of some sticky situation. If I continued hiding from him, and lying to him, what would kind of person would that make me? A dishonest person, a pathological liar. And Crispin didn’t deserve that. Nor did Giovanni.
“Four months ago, I told you that my sister and Pa left me to move to another city. Truth was, like you suspected, they abandoned me,” I quietly said, a little tear shedding from my eye. Oh, how pathetic my life was. I was sure Crispin must have it tougher, having so many siblings to care for back home in Chicago, what with his mother who had to raised them all. “But I shouldn’t call it abandoned. After all, I’m already nineteen, free to live my life. I’m an adult now. I don’t need them to spoon-feed me. But they left me with a massive debt. And I have to pay it off.”
“How much, Jenny? How much is the debt? Is it your father? He was the one with the debt, right? He left it to you, right? I’ll help pay it for you.”
“Thank you for being a good friend, but you really can’t pay it off. Not even I can pay off that much in my entire lifetime.”
“How much exactly, Jenny? After I graduate, I can help.”
“Three million doll
ars.”
His eyes glazed back in horror. “Three million.”
“Yes. Pa left me that much to pay on his behalf.”
“Did he get a loan from a loan shark to accumulate that much debt?”
“Well, kind of. He got it from the mafia.”
“No way!” Crispin sighed in disbelief. “Is that why you moved in with your boyfriend? Because that mafia guy was after you, since you’ve been held responsible for the debt.”
“No, Crispin. That’s where you are wrong. Pa got the loan from Giovanni. He is the mafia boss.”
“Oh fuck! Did he force you to be with him in exchange for that debt?”
“No. It didn’t start off like that. I only made him coffee and did his housework, but over time, I came to love him. Then out of necessity, we made a contract as lovers, instead.”
“You need help, Jenny. Obviously, it’s dangerous living with him. Break the contract. I’ll help you escape. These people are cruel. When they want you, they’ll do anything to make you stay. As soon as they’re tired of you, they’ll kill you. It’s not safe to be with him.”
“That’s where you are wrong, Crispin. In all my life, never have I felt safer than with him. He is not the usual mafioso that people think of. He doesn’t hurt people. I believe it’s only a front. Giovanni is not that type of person.”
“Jenny, you have been brainwashed. A mafia member will always be in the mafia. They kill people. That’s how they make money.”
“Giovanni doesn’t kill people. I’ve lived with him for four months now, and I’ve never seen him kill anyone.”
“You’ve known me for more than six years, but you still didn’t know I like you. How can you be so sure he isn’t dangerous?”
“I know it sounds stupid, but in my gut, I know he’s a good person.” Quietly, I conveyed my inner feelings to him. “I’m sorry, Crispin. I’m sorry I couldn’t love you more than as a friend. I’m sorry I couldn’t love you more than as a sibling. I wish the love you have for me would be given to you in tenfold by someone who adores you.”
“Is it because you have that guy now?”
Totally Intoxicated Page 13
