“Detective Rand,” Rion warned him.
Rand nodded without looking her way. “Were you trying to help?” Beckett nodded. “Were you scared?” No response. “Did anything like that night happen before?” After a while, Rand tried again. “Did your daddy ever hurt your mommy?” Beckett’s brow furrowed but she didn’t answer. “Did he ever hurt you?” Her lips pursed. But she still held his stare.
“Detective.”
“OK.” He nodded and rubbed his hands over his knees. “Is there anything you want me to know about that night?” he asked her. She remained silent. “I’m just trying to help you, sweetie. I just want to know who hurt your mommy and daddy.”
“Why?” When Beckett spoke, both Rion and Rand jumped in surprise.
“Because…it’s my job,” he told her. “I catch the bad guys.”
Beckett’s eyes narrowed again. “Why?”
“So they can’t hurt more people. So they can be punished.” Rand was practically mesmerized by the kid, Rion realized.
Beckett tilted her head. “How do you know what they did was bad?”
This might be the most Rion ever heard Beckett say at one time. She was as drawn in as the detective was.
The cop’s head twitched a little. “Because it’s wrong to hurt people.”
“Why?”
Rion realized her mouth had gone dry but should couldn’t bring herself to lift her coffee.
“Because people need to be able to feel safe.”
“What is safe?”
“To…to not be hurt. Or attacked. To be…happy. Unharmed.”
Rion’s limbs had gone cold and she could feel the hair on her arms standing on end.
Beckett looked confused. “Only some people?”
“What?” Rand’s voice cracked.
“What if hurting people makes someone happy?”
“What?” he asked again.
“Do you stop them from being happy?”
Rion watched the exchange but knew she should stop it. Somehow, Beckett had gotten control of the conversation and it was going somewhere very bad. Stupidly, she wondered if the kid was asleep. This wasn’t her usual subconscious, though, the kid was awake and in charge. This tiny creature was leading the huge detective like he was on a leash. Rand twitched again. Rion got the feeling he wanted to stop talking, but didn’t know how.
“No. I mean—yes. If hurting people makes them happy…I stop them.”
Beckett considered the detective for a moment before nodding her chin a couple of times. She turned in place and leaned forward to switch the TV back on, effectively dismissing Rand. He stared at the kid’s back for a few moments before shaking his head and standing quickly. When he looked at Rion he was pale. He wet his lips a couple of times and rubbed his hands on his jacket. One large stride and he was in front of the breakfast bar. Rion looked from him to Beckett then back.
“What…I mean…She…Beckett, I don’t think, is ready to answer questions yet.”
Yeah, Rion thought, because she’s the one with the questions. Rion nodded at him. “I’m sorry if I…upset her.”
“I…I think she’s OK.”
“Yeah…” Rand trailed off, looking around the apartment. He shook himself then began fumbling inside his jacket pocket. “Here,” he pulled out a business card holder. After rifling through it, he held out a card. “This is a cleaning service. They handle crime scenes. They’re real professionals.” He cleared his throat, regaining his bearing. “They can help clean up the Webster house.”
“Thank you,” Rion took the card.
Rion continued to watch Beckett long after the detective left. The kid was clearly unperturbed by Rand’s visit. Rion couldn’t shake the returning feeling of being unsettled. She had convinced herself that Beckett was just troubled and her trauma was manifesting in her sleep. But, the kid is…troubled. Rion slumped on the counter. That’s normal though, right? She’s been through so much. Rion tried to reassure herself, but, Beckett spoke with too much confidence. She challenged the cop, and won, she realized. She actually felt sorry for him and a little relieved for herself having never gone through that.
Needing to do something productive, she called the cleaners Rand had recommended and schedule them for Monday. She shuddered at the thought of having to clean up blood and other bodily fluids. The price had been expensive—and could become more so once they surveyed the scene—but it was worth it to not have to deal with it herself.
Rion looked at the clock and realized it was time for dinner. She began pulling out pans and ingredients to make chili. Once everything was simmering she realized how much food she had. Leftovers where nice, but she knew it would take a week for her and the kid to eat all the food she had cooked. She debated with herself for a long while before slamming the spoon down on the stove, announcing she would be right back, and exiting the apartment. She crossed to Kerry’s door and rapped her knuckles on it. If she was going to break down and seek out friends, she was going to go with the lesser of two evils. When Kerry didn’t answer, Rion rested her head on the door frame and sighed. She turned to Shep’s door and groaned out loud. He answered on the second knock.
Shep ate his chili at the counter with Rion and Beckett. They kept to small talk while they ate and, as usual, Beckett didn’t join in. He tried to engage her by asking about school, and what she had learned on the news recently. But the kid didn’t bite. Rion wondered if talking the cop had drained whatever words she had stored for the next couple of weeks.
Once they were done eating, Shep cleared the counter and put away the leftovers. When Rion came back from the bathroom he and Beckett were doing the dishes. Beckett still wasn’t talking, but Shep was. He rambled about comic books, apparently something he loved that his parents had refused to let him have. Now, he collected them. “My favorite,” he was saying, “is the Justice League. It’s about all these personalities and powers that come together for the greater good…”
As Shep continued to talk, Rion watched them silently. She debated for a while if she should join them or not. She could dry the dishes and put them away. She had seen it done in movies. She would be working side by side as a unit with Shep and Beckett. In the end, she decided not to help. They were almost done. Plus, Beckett seemed more content than she had all afternoon. The kid wasn’t talking, but she wasn’t scowling anymore either. Rion didn’t want to interrupt whatever calm she had found. Rion continued to watch them from afar, both grateful and melancholy.
After chores were done and Beckett was bathed, they all settled down for a few rounds of Mario Kart. Shep teased Beckett and Rion both because he was clearly better than either of them. At one point, Beckett even almost laughed. Rion tried to relax and feel normal but, either she didn’t know how, or she couldn’t forget all the abnormal things going on. After Shep had beaten them for the fifth time, Rion announced it was bedtime. Surprisingly, Beckett didn’t even protest.
Shep announced he was running to his apartment for a moment and Rion followed Beckett into the bedroom. The kid climbed into the bed and Rion pulled the blankets up to her chin and sat on the edge. They stared at each other while Rion figured out what to say. “Are you OK?” she finally went with. Beckett nodded after some consideration. “Is there anything you need from me?”
Another pause. “Not right now,” Beckett finally whispered.
Rion was taken aback, but she also didn’t have the energy to try to figure out what that meant. Trying to drag it out of the kid would take more than she had to give. “OK,” Rion shook her head and returned to the living room.
Shep was back and holding up a bottle of wine. “On our tour of introducing Rion to alcohol, it’s time for wine.”
Rion raised a brow. “This is getting to be a habit.”
“Mommy’s little helper,” he reminded her.
“Right,” Rion smirked, and joined him on the couch. He poured them each a glass and handed one to her. She took a sip and smacked her lips a couple of time. “I’ve
had wine before,” she tilted her head appreciating the rich flavor.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. One of the foster homes I was in. The mom was a bottle a night kind a lady. She always had a supply and some of us would sneak a bottle every once in a while. I like it.”
“Good.”
“I like it better than bourbon.”
“Well, there’s no accounting for taste,” Shep teased. They sipped their wine and watched the video game demo recycle several times.
“How Link?” Rion asked.
“He’s good. It’s great having him there. He likes laying on the window sills the best.”
“Yeah.”
“You know, you can come visit him any time.”
“Sure.” Rion let the invitation hang.
Eventually, Shep broke the silence. “So, what’s happened?”
Rion looked at him from the corner of her eye. “What makes you think something happened?”
“You’ve never invited me to dinner.”
“You’ve eaten with us before.”
Shep’s cheeks turned red. “Not without pretty much inviting myself.”
Rion could feel her face turning red also. Both, because she had invited Shep to dinner, and because he called her out on it. She sighed. “There is…really something wrong with Beckett.”
“Did she sleepwalk again?”
“Not that I know of.”
“What was it?”
“She’s had trouble at school. And, the detective investigating the murder came by to talk to her. She…she was really weird.”
“What did she do?”
“She just asked him creepy questions. Like, what if someone liked hurting people. Would he get them even if it made them happy? Because he told her he stopped people from hurting other people because everyone deserved to be happy and safe.”
“Wow.”
“I know. And the whole time, she was just…odd. Like she wasn’t intimidated by this huge stranger asking her questions.”
“So, her issues aren’t just when she’s asleep then.”
“Right. She was wide awake.”
“So, what do you think it is?”
“Huh?”
“What do you think is going on with her? It’s not just the trauma, apparently.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well,” Shep grimaced. “She seems to creep you out. And it’s like you don’t see her as…just traumatized. It’s like you’re scared of her.” He watched her for a moment. “Are you?”
Rion stared at the floor. Beckett had attacked her, and had tried to hurt her cat. She had to admit that was creepy. But, she was a little kid. She couldn’t actually harm her, really. And Rion had found a place for Link to stay so he would be safe. Therapy should be able to help Beckett adjust, if she was just having normal post-traumatic stress reactions. But, it was something else that Rion found unsettling. Beckett didn’t seem like a child. She was too solemn. Too calm. Too mean. A punch or scratch from the kid wasn’t likely to cause too much damage. But, the real danger, Rion realized, was in what Beckett had done to the cop. She had made him doubt himself. She had gotten control over his interview. She manipulated him into feeling unsettled and uncomfortable. No child should have that capacity.
Am I scared of Beckett? She felt the lump of guilt and shame burning in her stomach. “Yes. I am.”
Nine
The next day, after getting Beckett to school, Rion rested her head on her hand and stared at her computer. She needed to get some work done, but she couldn’t concentrate. She kept going over and over all the things Beckett had done. She was trying her best to figure out if something really was wrong with the kid, or if she was the one causing everything and just getting carried away.
A knock at the door caused her to jump so hard she knocked her pen off the counter. “Shit,” she muttered, making her way towards the door.
Kerry leaned against the door frame when Rion opened the door. Her blonde hair hung in wet strands around her shoulders. “Hey you!” she grinned at her.
Rion was surprised to find herself relieved to see Kerry. “Hi!” she opened the door wider. “I was starting to wonder what you had gotten into,” she smiled, trying not to sound like it mattered that much.
“Ugh! I got into a stupid guy,” Kerry chuckled.
“Another one? Or the same one?”
“As which?”
“I don’t know,” Rion laughed.
“Me either,” Kerry giggled. “But, regardless, I just met this guy the other night. He seemed cool at first, but he started getting on my nerves so I came home today.”
“Well, I mean…I guess, I mean, glad you had fun for a while…”
“Me too. How have things been around here?” Rion didn’t bother hesitating. She had already told Shep, she might as well keep Kerry updated too. “Wow,” Kerry breathed, staring at the floor. “How did the cop react?”
“He seemed really confused…and shocked.”
“I bet. What are you going to do?”
Rion shrugged. “Tell the therapist.”
“What about her social worker?”
Rion hesitated. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t want her to get any ideas about taking Becks away?”
“Right.”
“Understandable.” They sat in silence for a while before Kerry spoke again. “Shep and I, we don’t see Becks the same as you. We aren’t here as much. We are the ‘cool aunt and uncle,’ I guess.” Rion’s stomach made a strange, but not unpleasant lurch. “So, we haven’t seen the things you have. I’m not saying that we don’t believe you, or anything like that. I’m just saying it’s hard for us to give any real advice about it. Besides, what the hell do we know anyway?” she snorted.
“Clearly, more than I do,” Rion muttered.
“Give yourself some credit,” Kerry gave her a half smile. “You’re doing better than a lot of people. You’re doing better than some of those foster homes could.”
Rion knew she was right. She felt a little of the tension ease. “I just wish I could get a handle on what it was. You know?” Kerry nodded. “If I knew she had some kind of mental illness. Or if it was just PTSD…”
“As opposed to what?”
Rion sighed. “Shep asked me the same thing. I have no idea.”
“Shep and you have been hanging out, huh?” Kerry teased, nudging her with an elbow.
“Shup up,” Rion laughed.
“What’s going on with that?”
“Nothing!” she said a little too quickly.
“Bullshit.”
“Nothing,” Rion said a little more forcefully.
“And why not?” Kerry raised a brow at her. When Rion didn’t answer Kerry gave her a side-eye. “You’re not a virgin are you?”
“Jesus! No. Not that it is any business of yours,” Rion wasn’t as mad as she sounded and she knew Kerry could tell.
“Then what’s the deal?”
“Plenty.”
“Such as…?”
“Um, for one he’s my neighbor and I need him to help me take care of Link.”
“What’s that got to do with bumping uglies?”
Rion laughed uncomfortably and she could feel herself turning red. “You of all people should know where I’m coming from.”
Kerry grew serious for a moment. “I get it. I do. But, don’t use my behavior to justify yours. I mess with terrible, worthless guys.”
“Why?” Rion had wanted to ask her about the things she got into for a while now. This was her chance to do so without being rude.
“Well…” Kerry considered for a moment. “The answer I should give you? I’m not in a settling down place right now.”
“What about the real answer?”
“The fuck if I know,” Kerry threw her head back and laughed. Once she caught her breath she grew serious again. “But, you and Shep? That’s not like the bullshit I get into.” Rion raised a brow and looked at her doubtfully. “Oh,
come on. That guy is nuts about you.”
“Eh?”
Kerry rolled her eyes. “Well, when you’re ready to see it, you will.”
Rion didn’t respond. She didn’t know what to say, and didn’t feel like complicating her life any more than it already was. “What am I going to do about Beckett?” she finally asked.
Kerry blew a raspberry and tossed her hands up in the air. “Kids man. I just don’t know. See what the therapist says? Use your gut. What’s it telling you?”
Rion’s stomach rolled. “It’s telling me something is fucking wrong. I just don’t know how to fix it. Or even what it is.”
When Rion picked Beckett up from school she got the same report as before. The kids seemed to be giving her sister trouble, but the teacher wasn’t able to find out what was happening. She tried to get the girl to talk all the way home, but Beckett remained silent. When they entered the front door, they met Bernie who was on his way out.
“Good afternoon, ladies,” he smiled at them and let them pass.
“Hi,” Rion hurried past him.
“Ms. Webster?”
She gritted her teeth and turned slowly, forcing herself to smile as she did so. “Yes?”
“I hate to say anything…I know you are probably adjusting and all…”
“What?”
“Well, there have been some complaints about noises. At night.”
“Noises?” Rion forced herself to not look at Beckett.
“Yes,” Bernie glanced at the kid. “They said it sounds like running, or stomping.”
Rion knew it wasn’t Shep who had complained, and no one lived on the other side, so it had to be the neighbors below. “Well, tell them I’m sorry. I think we’ve had some trouble with sleeping walking. We’re working on it.”
“Of course,” he smiled kindly.
When they were inside the apartment, Rion set her bag down and looked at Beckett. “Running?” The kid stared at her but didn’t respond. “You can’t be running around like that. Especially at night.” She still remained silent and Rion sighed. “I don’t know if you were doing it in your sleep, or if you were awake, but you have to stop this.” Beckett narrowed her eyes but didn’t speak. “Do you have homework?” Rion asked. Even though the kid didn’t respond, she continued. “I know you do. Mrs. Frakes said you did. I want you to go to your room and finish it.”
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