by Katie Ashley
“But I don’t know how we can ever get past this. I’ve disappointed him more than he could’ve ever imagined. I’ve probably cost him his job, too. How can he even bear to look at me again?”
I shook my head. “He will get over this, and he won’t lose his job. Gabriel will make it right with the deacons. With everything you and your family have been through in the last few months, they will understand.”
Abby arched her eyebrows in surprise. “So it’s okay I’m knocked up because my mom just died? What if Mom hadn’t died? Would that change anything?”
I ducked my head. “No, but it’s just, well, uh, it makes it different, I guess.”
“Whatever.”
An awkward silence followed. Finally, I glanced at the clock on the nightstand. “Do you think you could try to get some sleep?”
Abby nodded. I pulled the covers back for her and tucked her in. When I started for the door, she grabbed my arm. “Please don’t leave.” A pleading look radiated in her eyes. “I don’t want to be alone tonight.”
“All right, I’ll stay right here,” I said, as I eased down in the chair beside the bed.
“Thanks.”
I smiled. “You’re welcome.”
Abby drifted off almost as soon as her head hit the pillow. She was clearly exhausted by the day’s roller coaster ride of emotions. But it wasn’t a restful sleep; she tossed and turned. When she rolled over on her stomach, one of her arms dangled off the side of the bed. I slid out of the chair into the floor and gently took her hand and placed it back onto the bed.
I pushed her hair back off her face and gazed at her. She looked so beautiful lying there, so fragile and delicate. The only sound that echoed through the stillness of the room was Abby’s labored breathing and the pounding of my heart.
It was after three when I glanced up to see Abby staring down at me. I blushed. “You were tossing and turning pretty badly,” I mumbled.
“You can’t be too comfortable there on the floor.”
“It’s all right.” I eyed the clock. “You should try going back to sleep.”
“Why don’t you get into bed with me?” she asked.
I was sure she heard my heart rattle in my chest. Her question was completely innocent, but out of context, it screamed with innuendo and caused that teenage male side of me, that I tried so desperately to ignore, to roar to life. “W-What?”
She flipped back the covers on the bed. “You need your rest, too, and you’re not getting it by sleeping on the floor or in that chair.” In my hesitation, she lowered her eyes. “When I was younger and I couldn’t sleep or I had a bad dream, my mom would hold me until I went back to sleep.” Then her chest began heaving in silent sobs. “Oh God, I wish she was here right now.”
I sprung up from the floor and quickly gathered her into my arms. Silently, I held her as she wept. When her body finally heaved in exhaustion, I lay back against the pillows, pulling her back against me.
For the rest of the night, she slept nestled in my arms, her face pressed against my chest. I drifted off for an hour or two, but I woke up long before she did. I stared down at her, watching as she slept. Gently, so not to wake her, I planted feathery kisses on the top of her head, inhaling of the sweet smell of hair.
Something within me changed. I felt an even greater need to protect her, to shelter her from the storms I knew were to come. I thought it had been infatuation I’d felt from the first moment I saw her, but tonight the love in my heart swelled so much it threatened to break out of my chest. I knew with everything within me that I truly loved her, and a year with her would never be enough time.
In that moment, I allowed myself to contemplate something no angel ever should.
Transcending.
It was something I’d heard whispers about in my seventy-five years, but it was almost an unspeakable, unmentionable idea among our kind. To transcend meant to give up your immortality and become human. Many of those who chose that fate did it not just for love, but after years of watching and guiding others on earth, they wanted to experience life for themselves. Even though it was so discouraged, it was not a damnable sin by God. Although disappointed, his love did not change, and as long as you lived your human life in his service, your soul still went to Heaven upon your death.
Of course, death was the key word. That was what frightened so many others. As angels, we never suffered the sting of death. Even in human form, our bodies were indestructible and immune to the ravages of illness and disease. Once an angel chose to transcend, that comfort was stripped away.
An icy chill spread through my veins at the thoughts of closing my eyes in death, and I shuddered. What would it be like to never walk the earth again? To never ascend to the highest levels of the Angelic Host and commune with the holiest on high? What would I do without the ability to connect with others pain? Those thoughts overwhelmed me as my mind whirled with more and more questions.
Surely this was all part of my Gideon Test—the harder the test, the stronger the Warrior Angel I might end up. But deep down, did I really want that anymore? Even if I passed, could I go back to an existence that didn’t include Abby?
And then like the Scales of Justice were held out in front of me, I weighed the option of whether I could give it all up for Abby—a girl I’d only known a few months who was carrying another guy’s child. My head swam at the possibility until I finally closed my eyes and tried to sleep again.
It was around six-thirty when Sophie knocked on the door. “Elijah?” When she swung open the door, her expression was horrified at the sight of Abby in my arms. Rafe was right on her heels, and when he saw what had Sophie frozen in shock, he quickly ushered her inside the room and shut the door behind them.
Abby stirred at the sound of hurried footsteps in the doorway. There was confusion in her face as she tried to get her bearings. She momentarily relaxed when she realized where she was. But at the sight of Sophie in the doorway, her face colored with embarrassment.
Sophie cleared her throat. “I just came in to make sure you two were up. Abby, you can use the shower in Cassie’s room. She’s laid out some clothes for you.”
“Thanks Sophie,” Abby said softly. She glanced back at me before scurrying out the door.
Rafe shook his head. “Man, you better thank your lucky stars it was me and not Gabriel with Sophie. He would’ve gone crazy if he saw the two of you like that.”
“She couldn’t sleep, and she started crying about her mother.” I stared at Sophie. “What was I supposed to do?”
Sophie didn’t answer me. Instead she said, “Rafe, you better go on and get ready for school.”
He nodded and hurried out of the door.
“Are you angry with me, Sophie?” I asked.
She came over to the bed and sat down. “No, I’m not angry, Elijah. I’m just worried.”
“Why?”
She gave me a knowing look. “I’m worried your emotions are getting the better of you.”
“Maybe they are,” I answered honestly.
“What do you mean?”
I inhaled a ragged breath. “I like her more than I should, Sophie…I might even love her. At first, I thought it was just infatuation, the very thing the Dominion cautioned me about in my file. But after last night, I realized the depth of my feelings.”
Sophie eyes widened to the size of saucers. Slowly, she shook her head. “Do you know what you’re saying?”
“Yes, I do.” I kept my voice firm.
“Oh Elijah…”
“And last night, well, I started thinking that I might, or I could…transcend for her,” I stammered.
Sophie sprung up from the bed. “You can’t mean that!”
“I don’t know. It was just a thought I had.”
The sound of water running in the bathroom down the hall suddenly cut off. “We can’t talk about this right now,” Sophie said.
She started to the door, but I stopped her. “Sophie, I am serious about this.”
Chapter Eighteen: ELIJAH
At the end of the day, I was surprised to find Abby waiting for me outside my 7th period class.
“Hi,” I said.
“Hi.”
“What’s up?” I asked, as I threw a couple of books in my locker.
“I was just wondering if I could go with you to the hospital again?” Abby asked.
“Really?”
She bobbed her head enthusiastically. “Yeah, I really enjoyed it. And I kinda want to see Danielle and the others again.”
A goofy grin spread on my face. I knew that she wanted to see the kids, but something within me was thrilled that she would be spending time with me—that in some way she wanted to be with me. “That would be great,” I replied.
“But I have cheerleading practice first. Do you mind waiting until five?”
“No, I don’t mind, but…” I chewed my lip, unable to say what I needed to.
Abby’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “But what?”
“Well, um, do you think it’s a good idea for you to uh, keep cheering and all? In your, uh, your, um,” I stammered.
“In my condition?” Abby asked, with a small smile.
“Yeah, I guess.”
“I’ve cheered all my life, Elijah. I hate to stop now in my last season, especially when I’m co-captain of the squad. Plus, if I keep my scholarship, I’ll need to keep cheering.”
“Meaning you’d give the baby up?”
Abby lowered her eyes. “Maybe.” When I didn’t respond, she rushed forward. “It’s just this is my senior year, and I’ve already been through so much. Is it too much to ask to keep things as normal as possible and to let me have a life?”
Pain radiated in her eyes, and I didn’t believe for a minute she actually thought she could have a normal year being pregnant—regardless of what she decided to do about the baby. She gave a short laugh. “Man, when I say it like that, I kinda sound like a selfish bitch, huh?”
“It’s your life, Abby. You have to do what’s right for you,” I replied.
“But is it bad of me to want to keep my old life—to not have to change?” I opened my mouth to reply, but she interrupted me. “Do you think I’m terrible?” she asked, in a hushed voice.
I stared into her pleading eyes and slowly shook my head. The truth was I didn’t know what to think. I wasn’t a sixteen year old girl whose mother had been murdered a few months earlier and who now found herself dumped by her boyfriend, pregnant, and thrown out the house. “I would never judge you, Abby.”
“That sounds so Sunday School, Elijah,” she argued.
“But it’s the truth. Who knows how I would think and feel if I were in your shoes.”
She cocked her head and smiled. “And that sounds very like To Kill a Mockingbird.”
I returned her smile. “It’s a very good book, you know.”
“Yes, I know. It was my mom’s favorite. She loved teaching it.”
We stood there for a moment until several girls raced by us clad in shorts and t-shirts. “Abby, you better hurry up! Practice starts in five. O’Conner will give you demerits if you’re late,” one exclaimed.
“Yeah, and she’s not going easy on you just cuz you’re Co-Captain or not,” another said.
Abby glanced at me. “Go ahead. I’ll wait on you,” I said.
Her face lit up. “Really?”
I nodded.
“Great! Listen why don’t you stay and watch us practice?”
“Okay, I will.”
“Thanks again, Elijah!” she cried, before running back in the building to change.
Without Abby, I suddenly felt very unsure of myself. Shuffling back and forth on my feet, I tried to ignore the stares some of the other girls were giving me.
“So,” one of them said.
“Um, yeah?”
“You’re Abby’s new guy, huh?”
I glanced up to meet her inquisitive stare. “Uh, um, no.”
She cocked an eyebrow at me. “You’re Elijah, aren’t you?”
A dark haired girl’s head bobbed up from stretching. “Ooh, you’re Rafe’s brother, right?
I nodded my head.
She grinned. “He’s sooo hot! You think you could give him my number?”
“Uh, I-I-”
I didn’t get a chance to answer because the other girl who had been peppering me with questions interrupted her. “You must be Abby’s guy cause she talks about you all the time. Elijah this and Elijah that. I don’t think I’ve ever heard her talk so much about any guy before.” She smiled knowingly at me. “Even Landon.”
My usual red flush began creeping from my cheeks down through my neck. “Well, we’re, uh, just friends, really,” I argued.
She shrugged. “Whatever.” I could tell she didn’t sound convinced.
Thankfully, I was rescued by their coach coming outside and barking orders. Abby raced out to join the others seconds before the coach, a Mrs. O’Conner, could notice her absence.
“Okay, let’s try working on the stunt for Friday’s game,” Coach O’Conner suggested. The girls scurried around getting into position. Abby and another girl started counting out-loud, and then they started chanting some words.
Suddenly, Abby was raised into the air by some of the girls. As she remained far above the ground, I shifted on my feet, ready to rush forward and catch her. Coach O’Conner covered her mouth from laughing at my reaction “Um, it’s called an extension.”
When I stared blankly at her, she continued. “It’s a cheerleading stunt they do. Trust me, she’s perfectly fine. In fact she’s one of the best flyer’s I’ve ever had,” she informed me.
I didn’t understand half of what she was saying, but since she thought it was perfectly okay for Abby to be suspended in midair, then who was I to question it?
“Cradle ready!” someone called, and then I truly had a heart attack as Abby was pitched back and then caught by some of the girls.
My heartbeat still was racing when Coach O’Conner shouted, “Okay, take five for water, and then we’ll work on it some more.”
Abby trotted up to me. “So what do you think?”
I raised my eyebrows. “Are you crazy?”
“Huh?”
Using my hands, I gesticulated wildly to imitate how she was all over the place. “You could kill yourself!”
Abby laughed. “Elijah, it’s fine. I’ve been doing it forever, I promise.”
Shaking my head, I said, “But it’s not just you anymore.” I glanced around and lowered my voice. “You have to think about the baby.”
“Stop it, Elijah!” Abby hissed.
“Excuse me?”
“Stop reminding me about my obligations. I know what I should do and not do, okay?”
My cheeks stung like I’d been slapped. Abby had never talked like that to me before. I nodded and then tucked my head to my chest.
Suddenly, her hand was on my arm, and she leaned in close to me. When I dared to peek at her through my hair, she was smiling. “I’m sorry, Elijah. That was a really mean thing for me to say.”
“It’s okay,” I mumbled.
She shook her head. “No, you’ve been so good to me, and you’re only trying to help.” Her hand rubbed along my arm, and it felt like sparks might shoot from me. “There’s only one stunt this season when I’m up in the air. I promise to be careful, okay?”
Even though I still didn’t like the idea, I nodded. “Okay.”
At the sound of my name being called, I turned around. Sophie had her arms full of books and looked on the verge of collapse. “I’ll be back in a just a minute.”
Something dark flickered out of the corner of my eye as I hurried down the sidewalk to Sophie. “Sorry to bother you, but I need some help getting this out to the car.”
I eyed all the stuff. “What’s all this?”
“Some old books of Victoria’s. The English dep
artment head asked me to take them to David.”
“I see.”
I helped Sophie get the rest of the books to the car along with another box in her classroom. I was just about to close the trunk for Sophie when I heard her gasp. By the time I looked up, all I saw was Abby falling. My heart jolted in my chest. I was too far away to help, but I started sprinting towards her all the same. Someone rushed forward to catch her.
It was Lucius.
By the time I got over to Abby, there was a flurry of raised voices with everyone talking at once. From what I gathered, one of the girls who held Abby had slipped, and like a domino effect, her falling had caused Abby to fall.
Lucius still cradled Abby in his arms. Rage burned through me at his hands pressed against her. A smirk spread across his lips. “Guess I better put you down now, huh?” he asked.
Abby laughed. “Yeah, I guess so.”
It took me a minute to find my voice. Abby must’ve have sensed my shock because she shook her head. “I’m fine, I promise.”
“You could’ve really hurt yourself,” I protested.
“Well, lucky for her, I was around to save the day,” Lucius said. His dark eyes bore into me.
“Yeah, since everyone freaked out.” Abby glanced back at the others and shook her head. “I don’t think I’ve seen them do that since Freshman year. Weird.”
My mind couldn’t wrap around the horror that it might have been possible that Lucius could’ve had something to do with the fall. A chill ran through me at the thought he had gone out of his way to get close to her, to talk to her, to touch her.
“Well, I’m just glad I could help. I wouldn’t want you to hurt that pretty head of yours,” Lucius drawled, a charm I’d never seen oozing out of him.
Abby flushed. “I don’t know about that.”
Lucius grinned. “Well, I do.” He leaned closer to her. “I’d be blind if I didn’t notice you, now wouldn’t I?”
I fought the urge to rip him limb from limb as he flirted with Abby in front of my face. “I don’t think I know you,” Abby said.
“I just transferred in last year. My name is Lucius, Lucius Pilate.” He extended his hand, and she shook it.
