I hold the black dome box between us. The last time I thought about marriage, I was twenty-two years old without a cent to my name. I had nothing to give her but my love and my word. Today, I can give her both and more.
"I bought this for you. The first time I asked you to marry me, I was a kid with a fierce dream. Your parents had every right to question my ability to provide for you. But they were wrong when they thought I wanted their money, your money." I remove the pear cut diamond ring from the box, preparing myself for the fight of my life. Her hands cover her mouth. "I'm asking you to pretend to love me."
“Why me?”
"A man like me should always have a woman like you in his corner." In my heart, I know Alexandria is the missing piece. I take her hand and slide the ring on her delicate finger. I kiss her, thankful she didn't say no and that she leaves the ring on. Now, to get her to say yes. A slip my tongue into the warmth of her mouth, and she moans. We can't fabricate or fake this. And it's my place to help her see. "I have to get going."
Alexandria walks me to the door.
"The flight leaves tomorrow morning at five. All I need is a text from you, and I'll send a car." She opens her mouth and afraid to hear another rejection I kiss her softly. "Just think about it."
I turn and leave after I hear the door lock behind me. And there’s a whisper deep inside that wants more than December, more than a ruse to ensure my parents’ safety. The next few weeks are all I can ask for, hoping she’ll board the flight with me tomorrow.
Chapter 5
“Dayum, Gina! Ain't nothing fake about that boulder." Charlee's eyes buck then squint rocking my hand from side to side under the direct light from above. The diamond shimmers and the display garners a collective chorus of oohs and awws from round the table.
The moment the door closed behind Mateo, I sent an SOS message to my guys with a picture of the ring he placed on my finger. Now the ten of us are squeezed into a booth at Smith & Jameson with a large order of seasoned fries, several pitchers of beer, and the boulder, as Charlee so eloquently put it.
This is our usual hangout spot. Great food, beer, and music. But we rarely get together for drinks between the husbands and kids. This holiday season it seems harder than the years before as we struggle individually and collectively to nurture our friendships and our business.
“He wants me to stand in as his fiancé for a few holiday parties through the end of the month.” I clarify as my hand is passed around like baby Reign.
“And then what sweetie?” Harper asks.
"He agrees to serve as my mentor and help me create a plan for our international rollout if that's what we decide." I pull my hand back into my lap. I glance down, and it's beautiful.
“Will you tell your parents?” Hunter asks.
“It’s only for a month.”
"Fake or not, don't you think your parents will want to know?" Chase asks.
“No.” Hunter, Harper, and Charlee sing in unison.
Chase turns her curious gaze my way. “That sounds like a story.”
"Mateo and I dated in college. On the night of our graduation, he asked me to marry him. But my parents didn’t approve. So, instead of making me choose between my parents and him, Mateo left. And we haven’t talked to each other in over fifteen years until a few days ago.”
“Do you still love him?” Ryann leans forward.
“I never stopped loving him. But love wasn’t the issue.”
"Okay, so, what's the issue?" Ryann's gaze holds mine. She's an attorney. But her past and mine are closer than she realizes. Her father killed her mother, and my biological father was part of the Mexican cartel.
I swallow hard. I’ve carried this for years. It’s time I make some sense of this situation. I look down at the ring again. Plus, I owe him an answer.
"My parents met in college. A story similar to the one I share with Mateo except my parents eloped defying my grandparents once they learned she was pregnant with me. And like you, Hunter," I lock eyes with her, "my grandparents laid down an ultimatum. Antonio Martinez or her family."
"Why would they make her choose between her husband and family?" Harper asks, gathering my hands beneath the table. I glance over and smile through my tears.
"Originally because my father is Mexican." The words scrape out in a hushed whisper hanging between us. Mortification grips my throat. Ashamed and embarrassed, I drop my head. "My Black grandfather forbad my mother from marrying that Mexican man. Is how he put it? And how dare she bring home his wetback baby." Tears sting my eyes. It's the first time I'm vocalizing the source of my torn existence. That's all I've ever been was her mistake.
The tears race down my face, and I can't stop them. "Then, he found a way to separate them. He used his money and power to dig into my father's past. He learned my father's family is connected to the Mexican cartel. My grandfather used that piece of information and his power to get my father promptly deported. I was left to live as the evidence of my mother daring to defy my grandfather’s orders.”
A chill of numbness tempers my pain. I realize my mother was a victim of her love for my father. A love she let go the way I let Mateo go. What if my grandfather jeopardized Mateo’s career?
I couldn’t ruin his life. So, I served the penalty of our love I let him go satisfying my grandfather’s and my mother’s requests.
I twist the ring around my finger, trying to tuck these feelings back in the box. Memories of my grandfather's harsh words and my mother's compliance are the lens that color my entire childhood and my belief that love is conditional. That I had to find a Black man with a professional career, and my family had to approve. Until I found my guys and Mateo.
"That's why I love you guys so much." Pain shoots through my heart, and I fold over, letting my pants collect my tears. The table is moved back, and I'm cocooned in a huddle of love.
"Let it go, sweetie," Harper whispers.
So, I do. My silent cry collides with my buried rage, sending my body into a violent fit of shakes. My battles with isolation, self-hate, and inadequacy have been my constant companions since childhood. My body feels as if it's on fire. But I've learned to not release the slightest whimper because I wouldn't give my mother and grandfather the satisfaction of seeing me break.
The guys hold me until it passes, I sit back, and there's not a single dry eye. Hunter is huddle in front of me with Charlee and Taylor on either side. Ryann and Harper flank me leaving Parker, Jordan, and Payton to enclose our sister circle within a secure embrace.
Makeup is smeared. Noses are runny.
"I pay too damn much for this beer for these hard-ass napkins."
A whisper of silence cuts through our circle before a fit of laughter chases away the pain. I laugh and laugh, falling back in the seat, holding my stomach.
"Charlee, you should be a standup comedian with your crazy ass." Payton chuckles, removing her leather Steel Ryders jacket.
"Speaking of crazy, I think we should make a wish." Jordan peaks through with a dreamy smile on her face. "I know it sounds crazy, but think about it. Each of us found our true loves on holidays. Hunter found Ben on Valentine's Day. Then Harper and Liam on St. Patrick's Day."
“That sexy-ass Irish man.”
“Drool over your own husband.” Harper swats at Charlee.
“I don’t want him. That, my dear, is a fact.”
The laughter rolls through us again, and I think about Jordan's words. "So, a Christmas wish?"
“Why not?” Jordan adds. “If I found my prince on Halloween, why can’t we all?”
"Because I don't like what my grandfather did to my mother, but if she finds out I'm seeing Mateo again, they'll disown me. It's like she's turned into my grandfather times ten. I won't do that to him."
“So, you’re going to decline Mateo’s offer?” Hunter asks.
“No, he needs my help.” I keep the details private because he didn’t give me permission to share them. “I’ll accept his mentorship and stay in New Yor
k until my task is complete.”
“That doesn’t sound like a wise plan. You still love the guy.” Ryann adds. “I tried to ignore my love for X, and it was useless.”
"Sometimes you have to take a chance," Parker adds.
“This is not a chance I’m willing to risk.” I think about Mateo’s kiss and add for the record. “And I can’t sleep with him again. The man kissed me today and…”
"Ahhh, shyte now! He had you all hot and bothered?" Charlee does her infamous shoulder shake, and I can't imagine life without this or them.
“Yes, hot, bothered, and horny. But I can’t cross that line.” I cut through the air.
“That’s your decision. You’re accepting his proposal…” Hunter says.
"…and the mentorship," Ryann says.
"But, you're keeping your legs closed.” Charlee sings. “How do you plan to do that? You’ll be on his turf. Mistletoe and snow. Wining and dining. Girl, you better get ready.”
Get ready? How? Someone, please tell me how I can resist the man who has me lip-locking within seconds. Perfectly disproportioned lips. The man with a quiet strength I wish I could climb inside and hide, even if for only a moment.
I felt him watching me while I cooked. His eyes assessing me. My body trembling under his overt scrutiny.
I doubt I'll marry. Watching my mother marry her father's older best friend knowing she still loved my father sucked every possible romantic gene from my body. And somewhere down the road, her unhappiness became a direct target on my back, once again leaving me to fend for myself.
My love for Mateo never turned ugly or demanding. Our love lives on in my mind, and it's pretty close to perfect. My greatest fear is that this fake engagement will trade my happiest memories for ones that resemble the men I've known in my life.
Men like my father, who left and never returned. Like my grandfather, who uses his money and power to throw his weight around.
I’d rather die than to lump Mateo with the likes of them, so a part of me would rather hold on to the fantasy than risk it. That’s why I can’t give him my body. I won’t deprive myself of his kisses. But making love to him will muddy our obviously complicated situation.
I roll my shoulders back, suppressing my groan. How did I get myself into this situation? My guys.
They work together to straighten the tables. I'll risk entangling myself with Mateo to take our business dreams to the next level and because I want us to succeed. For every million I make on my own, I show my grandfather and my mother that I don't need them or their money.
After an emotional evening, we decide to head out to the courtyard and order more than fries from one of the food trucks. I follow the gang pulling out my phone.
I send Mateo a quick text, I accept.
Chapter 6
“I’m impressed.” Alexandria cuddles beneath a quilt.
I wag my head, rubbing my eyes. The soothing hum of the engine has me fighting to stay awake. Her late-night text set the wheels of this Christmas celebration in motion. The moment I mentioned the engagement and Alexandria's name, my mother magically forgot about her fear of flying. Now, Alexandria and I are flying to New York, and my family is flying in tomorrow. And Susan is demanding a raise for coordinating it all.
"Would you like a drink, something to eat, a kiss?" My head drops to the seat, and I glance over at Alexandria.
“No, but I’d like to know what I’m walking into.”
I shrug. “We have an engagement party slash Christmas party to attend this evening for Jerrick and his fiancé, Susan, who is also my executive assistant.”
“Jerrick lives in New York too?”
“Yep, he moved with me and stayed. He’s president of a software development company. I’m trying to woo him back to my team, but he refuses.”
“Keep business business and personal personal.” She does an excellent impression of Jerrick’s motto.
"Exactly." My eyelids flutter under the weight of exhaustion. "Tomorrow, we'll have a large family dinner and a traditional installing of a Nacimiento."
“Nacimiento? What’s that?”
“You would consider it the nativity scene. It’s the center of our Christmas celebration.” I cover a yawn. “Since I only got them to agree to visit for one week, we’ll adhere to the regular Christmas dates. The kids open their gifts on Christmas Eve, and we’ll have a huge Dominican party all night. The adults will wear ugly sweaters and exchange white elephant gifts. You’ll have a blast.”
“How many people are you expecting?”
“Close to fifty, maybe a few more.”
“Fifty! I thought you said it’s a family party.”
"It is, but family includes everyone. Did you pack an ugly sweater?"
“No, I brought party clothes. You didn’t tell me.”
"Don't worry. We'll get it. I still need to get gifts for the gift exchange. I hope you're ready because it's going to be a long week. The house will be full of kids, family, Christmas cheer, and mistletoe." My eyes close, and I let the peace of knowing everyone will be under my roof tomorrow wash over me. I catch myself before sleep takes me under. I glance over at Alexandria. "Thank you."
"You're welcome. But I haven't done anything yet. Tired?" Her eyes caress my face, and I brush my thumb over her kissable lips.
"Yeah. I worked through the night." I request coffee from the stewardess and drop my hands in my lap. I must resist her tempting skin and lips and eyes. I have to show her why we work. Somewhere while planning flights and having the house prepared, I decided I want more than December. Now, to convince Alexandria. And my plan is simple, show her with love. I drop my hand to her knee. "How are you?"
The smile slips from her face. “I’m nervous about meeting your parents, especially your mother. What if she doesn’t like me?”
“Don’t be. You have a lot in common.”
"Like what?" She turns in the chair, gathering her knees to her chest.
"Cooking. Except she doesn't burn her Jonnycakes." Her jaw goes slack, and laughter pours from me. She chuckles and tosses a crumpled napkin at me.
"You should do that more often. I always loved your laugh." A smile lightly brushes her lips, and I want to kiss her again.
“Love is a strong word, mi querida." Yesterday's kiss awakened the vivid images of the years we spent together. The feel of her beneath me, the feeling of being inside her.
“Turn off the charm Mateo, tell me about your mother.”
“Pushy, pushy. Is this more of your boundaries talk?”
She giggles. “Yes, now talk.”
“She loves cooking and quilting. Oh, she loves practicing her English, thanks to me telling her about you.”
“Me?” Her hand rests on her chest as if in shock.
"I never lied to my mother about my love for you. So, practice with her while she's visiting. She speaks well."
“You do, as well. I’m proud of you.”
"Thank you. I had an amazing tutor. Now can I get that kiss?" I close my eyes, puckering my lips.
Her hands feather up the sides of my face until her fingers comb through my hair. The sound of her shifting closer causes heat to stir through my body. I open my eyes, watching her lean over the armrest, resting her full breasts on my chest.
I circle an arm around her waist. Our eyes hold, then her mouth brushes mine with a sweeping motion before her tongue traces the crease between my lips. The smooth slip of her tongue is fucking hot.
I cup her ass in my hand, massaging it until I hear her moan. The expert teasing, licking, and petting sends shock waves through me. How could I forget how she loves four play?
I wiggle my hands beneath her blanket, brushing the peaks of her nipples, listening for her groan of approval. I hear the door to the stewardess bay open and reluctantly release her tempting mouth.
She sits back in her seat. We share an electrifying gaze. I watch the rapid rise and fall of her chest as my coffee is placed on the tray. Then we’re left alone.
"I have a small request for this fake engagement of ours." She sits forward, opening the creamer and sugar packets, pouring it into my cup.
“And that is?”
“No sex.”
A wide smile crawls across Mateo’s face.
“Did you hear me?”
He brushes a hand over the exposed flesh above the collar of my shirt. A shiver of awareness makes my kitten leap anxious to sample more than his kisses. But Mateo will have me screaming the plane down and ready to throw caution to the wind. But I can’t, not with the thought of my family lingering in my mind. I can’t risk it.
“Yeah.”
"I'm serious, Mateo. Sex will complicate it. Promise me. No sex."
“Even if you beg for it.”
“Beg?” I lick my lips, tasting him.
“Beg.” The word is laced with a challenge matching the sexual fire in his eyes.
“I’ve never begged a day in my life.”
He taps his temple as if calling on a memory. “Your birthday, junior year.”
Against my will and good sense, my mind takes me back to that night, and a wildfire spreads through my body. I clench my thighs tight. This is why I can't. Sex with him was never just sex. It was an escape from my reality, medicine for my ails, a refuge when I needed…him.
"Okay, …okay…that one time. Damn, stop bringing up old stuff."
Mateo's head falls back, and I laugh with him, trying to mask the kernel of fear. Hunter is right. I am a different person with him. I drop my head on his shoulder.
“I think this will be the best Christmas ever.” He places a soft kiss on my forehead.
“Yeah, I think so too.”
I have to tread lightly, or I’ll find myself falling back in love with him again.
Chapter 7
The chauffeured car drives through the Upper East Side of New York. I look up at the concrete building and back at Mateo.
“You live in a condo?”
Lavish Love: A Second Chance Romance (Blazin' Love Book 9) Page 4
