Endlessly

by Kiersten White

Chapter Forty-Two

 

  WE'RE NOT DAWN YET

  The night was clear and sharp in a way only winter nights with a bright moon can be, every leaf and twig and rock brought into colorless contrast by the pale white light. Or maybe I could see them all for the same reason I could sense the borders of this world pressing in all around, hinting and dancing at the paths and possibilities of other realities.

  "Evie!"

  Lend's voice rang through me, a welcome reminder of who I really was. I smiled and turned around, nearly knocked over when he ran into me and grabbed me up in a hug. "I was so worried! You should have taken me with you. I-" He stopped dead, his arms tightening around me even more as he looked over my shoulder. "Umm, you do know Vivian's here, right?"

  "Oh, is she? I hadn't noticed. " He looked at me, scared, then rolled his eyes when he saw my smile. "It's okay. She's here to help me. "

  "That's me, helpful Vivian. And, flaming souls, Ev, your boyfriend is beautiful. "

  I smiled even bigger, soaking up this way of seeing him, his soul blue like reflected light off rippling water, alive and shimmering and dancing, his and his alone. Unlike the last time I'd been overwhelmed with other souls inside me, I wasn't even a little bit tempted to take his.

  "What is it?" Lend asked, noticing my stare as he wrapped his scarf around my neck. I was far, far from cold right now, but it was sweet of him. "And why is your voice different?"

  "You really are beautiful. And I really want to kiss your brains out. But I've got to make a gate and save the world and stuff first. "

  "Kiss my brains out after?"

  I bit my lip. "Are you going to. . . will there be an after?"

  "Hurry, please," Reth said.

  Lend ignored him and pulled me in closer, his lips touching my ear. "The only world for me is the one you're in. Let's make the best life we can here and not worry about what comes after. I want to grow old with you. "

  "Really? We'll get rocking chairs and be all cute and wrinkly!"

  "You'll be wrinkly. I'll just pretend to be. "

  I punched him lightly in the stomach, but closed my eyes, my own soul once again singing out louder than the others in me. "Best plan I've heard this week. And, trust me, I've heard a lot. "

  "I love you forever, Evie. "

  I pulled back and kissed him, all the energy and light in me springing up in joy and passion and happiness. "I love you forever, too, my Lend. "

  "Wow, your lips are really hot. Literally and metaphorically. But mostly literally. "

  I laughed, stepping back from him. "Yeah, comes with the bursting-with-eternal-souls territory. "

  Reth collapsed to the ground next to me, his breathing shallow and frantic. "Lend?" I said, my immortal voice still managing panic.

  Lend reached down and picked Reth up, carrying him to the edge of the gathering. I turned to the group, suddenly aware of our very, very large audience, a collection of souls in every color of the rainbow (as well as some definitely not in the rainbow I knew) and the bodies that held them standing, waiting, watching. It was a good thing David's property was on the edge of a state forest, because there were a lot of paranormals here.

  I took a deep breath, my eyes trained on Reth's chest to make sure it was still moving. To my relief he lifted his head and pushed out of Lend's grasp with a disgusted sound, choosing to sit on the ground instead. He was still okay. But for how long. . .

  "We've got to do this now. " I lifted up my hand, and-

  "Stop," a woman shouted. Everyone turned to see someone in a power suit and sensible pumps stomping out of the trees toward me. It was not Raquel. Raquel was running after her, swearing rapidly in Spanish and trying to grab Anne-Whatever Whatever.

  "Wow, you are so not invited," I said. She was a lot less threatening now that I could see straight through to her soul, a pale, quivering, barely there thing.

  "Stupid girl, you have no idea what you're doing!"

  "Really? Because I'm pretty sure you have no idea what I'm doing. "

  She stood directly in front of me, huffing with exertion and anger. Lend loomed protectively beside me, but I wasn't exactly worried she'd whip out a Taser and try to take me in. All her faerie cronies were on my side now, and I didn't see a single paranormal or even another human backing her up.

  "What do you think will happen to IPCA if you take all these creatures out of the world?"

  "Hmm. I believe the answer falls somewhere under the categories of Don't Know and Don't Care. Take your pick. "

  "Oh? You don't care? You may think you're helping by banishing this group, but how many vampires and werewolves are leaving? Hmm?"

  I looked around. The only vampire I could see was Arianna, standing next to David, and a couple of werewolves who had come out of the woods after Raquel. I shrugged. "They don't belong in that other world. "

  "They don't belong in ours, either, but here they are! How exactly do you propose IPCA continue to keep people safe from paranormal menaces that will still be alive and well among us when you take away the faerie magic we depend on?"

  I remembered the werewolf guard who had been turned against his will. And there was poor Arianna, innocent of anything other than falling for the wrong boy. As bad as IPCA had been-and, whoo boy, it had its bad points-it did fill a necessary role in the world to address problems that the average person had no idea existed.

  "But you're doing it wrong. " I frowned. "I mean, you're all about capture and control. Look at my friend. " I pointed to Arianna, easy for me to pick out of the darkness next to mortal Raquel and David. "She's never hurt anyone in her life. She's done nothing but try to make the best out of the crap hand she's been dealt. In fact, she and David have devoted their lives to doing what IPCA should have been doing all along: helping and guiding the people who need it most instead of automatically treating them like criminals and killers. "

  "Evie, if I may?" Raquel stepped forward, regarding Anne-Whatever Whatever with cool, professional detachment. "I'm afraid your brief and disastrous reign as head of IPCA has come to an end. As has IPCA as a functioning international body. Which is why I've already set in motion everything necessary to form the United Paranormal Aid and Rehabilitation Group. Each geographical area will act with cooperative autonomy, and the focus will shift from containment to education and aid, with minimal policing only when necessary. " Only Raquel could talk like an official memo. I glanced at Lend, shocked to see him smiling at Raquel.

  "You have no right!" Anne sputtered.

  "Oh, I think you'll find your most powerful contacts immediately came out of an inexplicable fog once the Unseelie faeries stopped working with you. They want answers. I have them. So while you have been running around, desperately trying to grasp at power, the rest of us have been finding solutions. "

  "I won't let this happen! I'll-" Her shrill voice cut off, although her mouth kept moving. I turned to Reth, who raised an eyebrow at me from his seat on the ground.

  "I am not going to miss humanity," he said.

  I laughed. "Humanity's not going to miss you, either. "

  Raquel smiled, then motioned to the werewolves, who were only too happy to come and bodily haul away a now rapidly flailing Anne-Whatever Whatever.

  "Will she get her voice back when you leave?" I asked Reth.

  "I may have accidentally made that permanent. "

  "Well darn. Too late now!"

  Raquel moved to give me a hug but then jerked back. "You're burning up!"

  "Yup. So I'm told. "

  "I want you to know how proud I am. You're doing the right thing, and I don't want you to worry about what's going to happen after. We'll figure it out. " She looked back at David and beamed, as happy as I'd ever seen her.

  "I have no doubt of that. Although I do have one serious concern. "

  "Yes?"

  "UPARG? It doesn't roll off the tongue in quite the same way IPCA did. "

&nbs
p; Raquel heaved a why must you joke at inappropriate times sigh, then lifted her chin haughtily. "Well, maybe we won't invite you to be a part of it, then. "

  I laughed. "Please, by all means, leave me out. I think it's high time I retire. "

  "Even if we issue you your own custom companion Taser for Tasey?"

  I pursed my lips thoughtfully. "We'll talk when I'm done here. "

  "Umm, Evie?" Vivian said behind me, her voice strained. "This is. . . really not a good place for me to be right now. We need to hurry. "

  I turned to her, worried. If I could feel the pull of the souls, how much worse must it be for her? "Okay, we're only waiting on-"

  "Hey-oh. " Jack skipped up next to Arianna with Carlee. They were holding hands, and I had a sneaking suspicion it wasn't because they'd just come out of the Faerie Paths. He waved and shouted, "All clear on our front! Also, to my fabulous faerie friends, good-bye and good riddance!" He let go of Carlee's hand, turned around, and dropped his pants.

  Jack's brilliantly white, moonlit mooning of the unearthly crowd was strangely beautiful. Lend was less amused, rolling his eyes and muttering, "My mom's right there. Can't we send Jack, too?"

  "Not today. Raquel, go to the house and take everyone not going through the gate with you. I don't know what's going to happen, and I want you all where I know you'll be safe. " She nodded and ran back to the others, who waved and, when Jack had pulled up his pants, disappeared back toward the house. "Vivian? You ready?"

  She nodded, but she seemed distinctly nervous.

  "Okay," I said, looking up to find the gate in the stars. I lifted a hand, only to have it jerked violently down.

  "What are you doing?" Reth hissed.

  "I'm making the gate!"

  "Not that one. " His eyes were wide with-fear?

  "Why are you so scared of that gate?"

  He looked to the side, deliberately avoiding staring at the stars. "Because that is. . . that is another part of eternity. It's not ours. "

  I frowned. "But I sent the other souls there. "

  "Yes, and without bodies they were ready to go there. But I am not, nor will I ever be. "

  I couldn't help smiling. "Ooh, poor little Reth, are you scared of what happens after you die?"

  His voice and face were shockingly sincere, his skin pallid and his lips nearly blue. "More than anything. I have no desire to discover that realm of eternity. None of us do, which is why we need that gate. Myself most desperately. Now, please. "

  I looked back up at the stars, trying to figure out if I was scared of that gate or not. And, strangely enough, I discovered I wasn't. It was like Lend and I had talked about-no one could say when they were going to die. You did the best with the time you had, filled it with people and things you loved, and hoped that whatever came after was as good or better. I was finally okay with this whole finite mortality thing.

  "Alright, you big pansy. I'll figure out the other one. "

  Frowning, I tried to sense the area around me, knowing that beyond the surface of the world were other worlds, the distance between almost paper-thin. But I didn't know what I was looking for, didn't know how to find it. I turned to Vivian, but she shrugged.

  I closed my eyes. The only things I knew about why Empty Ones worked the way we did was that we had room for extra souls because we started out with less, and that we could make gates because of our innately human sense of home. But my home was here. How on earth was I supposed to find another one?

  "The gate needs to be opened and closed before dawn," Cresseda said, a hint of strain flowing through her voice.

  "YES. THANKS FOR THAT. VERY HELPFUL RIGHT NOW. " I glared at her, but a splash drew my attention to another part of the pond, where I saw the head of the fossegrim I'd partially drained watching me, his murky eyes narrowed, whether in hatred or anticipation I couldn't tell. Then I looked up and saw the sylph nervously swooping around, and an idea clicked. I was still holding on as tightly as I could to my own soul, and my own soul belonged right here. But the others. . .

  Taking a deep breath, I released control, letting the other souls well up and overwhelm me, changing and shifting my senses, making this world feel cold and old, the dirt and decay clogging my sinuses, the very air hastening my death even as it prolonged my life. I shuddered, knowing that I didn't belong here, this wasn't my world. My world was-

  There. Just beyond my fingertips. I could even feel the rough edges of the tear that had brought them here, nearly healed, almost past the point where it could receive them back.

  I blindly held out a hand and felt Vivian take it, squeezing reassuringly. "Here," I whispered, guiding her hand forward. "Their home. Can you feel it?"

  "I. . . yeah, I think I can. I definitely can. It feels-Oh, Evie, I want to go there. " Her voice was low with longing.

  "Let's open the gate, then. " We pushed against the air together, and I willed everything in me, all the souls there that belonged elsewhere, to push through.

  Then the world exploded.