All That We Are

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All That We Are Page 14

by Melissa Toppen

“What? Just because I’m old enough to be his mother doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate that he’s one fine piece of eye candy.”

  “He is pretty gorgeous,” I agree, smiling.

  “That he is.” She nods enthusiastically. “But not only that, he’s got a good heart. And lord knows after everything he’s been through he deserves to find someone who makes him happy.”

  “Everything he’s been through?” I question, assuming she’s talking about his time away overseas but wanting to clarify.

  “You weren’t here when he came home. I’ve never seen a man more broken in my entire life. It took a long time for him to pick himself back up. Even when he finally did he wasn’t quite the same.”

  “What was he like? After he came back.” I can’t help but want to know. Miles talks so vaguely about his time in the military even though I know it shaped who he is today.

  It’s obvious he still carries a lot of weight from that time in his life. Maybe one day he’ll trust me enough to open up to me completely.

  “Quiet. Withdrawn. We had him over for dinner a couple weeks after he came home. He was staying with Winston because his mom had just moved to Florida to take care of her own mother. He has no other family in the area.” She pauses when the waiter reappears with our salads, waiting until he places them on the table and walks away before continuing, “He barely spoke the entire dinner. Your father and I kept trying to start conversations with him, but he kept his eyes down on his plate, shuffling the food around with his fork. I’m pretty sure he didn’t take a single bite during that entire meal.”

  “Wow,” I say, finding it hard to picture Miles like that.

  “He had a hard time adjusting. He was in and out of support groups, but nothing stuck. But then he found Dexter, and I swear, that man saved his life. He didn’t just give that boy a job; he gave him a sense of purpose.”

  “It’s hard to imagine Miles like that. He always seems so strong.”

  “We are all weak at times. Even the strongest of us.”

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” I pick up my fork and push my salad around the plate, suddenly not feeling very hungry.

  “But that’s all in the past.” Jackie claps her hands together. “Now look at him. And look at you. Sometimes God pushes us down, so we’re able to find where we’re meant to be once we get back up.”

  I nod, really considering what she’s saying. Maybe she’s right. Maybe everything happens for a reason and Miles, and I were meant to find each other. Not ten years ago when neither of us had any idea what we wanted, but now. I think it’s true what they say. Timing is everything.

  “Don’t say anything to Dad, okay?” I request after a long moment.

  “I promise it will stay between you and me until you’re ready for other people to know. Until then, know I’m here for you if you ever need to talk.”

  “Thank you, Jackie,” I say, realizing just how lucky I am to have someone like her in my life.

  “That’s what moms are for.” She grins, shoveling a big bite of salad into her mouth moments later.

  ——

  “Hey, sorry I missed your call. I was at lunch with Jackie,” I say seconds after Miles’ voice comes across the line.

  “No problem. I was just calling to let you know that Caster Point called me to confirm your income,” he says, referring to the apartment complex where I submitted my application earlier.

  “Well, that has to be a good sign. If they weren’t considering me they wouldn’t be going through all the trouble, right?”

  “I’d think not. Plus, I gave you a glowing review. Said you were the most reliable and hardworking employee that I have.”

  “No, you didn’t.” I laugh.

  “Actually, I did. Figured if I could help in any way it wouldn’t hurt to try.”

  “You can be incredibly sweet when you want to be. Has anyone ever told you that?”

  “Shhh. Let’s not be announcing that. I have a reputation to uphold.”

  “Is that so?” I giggle into the phone.

  “So how was lunch? Did you and Jackie have a good time?”

  “We did, actually. “She just headed back home. I’m headed your way now.”

  “You’re coming to the shop?”

  “Yeah, if that’s okay. I know you said I could have the whole day off, but right now I’m kind of playing a waiting game and it would be nice to have something to do to pass the time.”

  “I can think of a few ways to pass some time.” I hear his smile in his voice.

  “I bet you could.” I laugh. “But I really do have work I need to get done. This guy I’m kind of seeing is very distracting and making me slack on my duties.”

  “Well, we can’t have that. Someone might complain to your boss.”

  “And then my boss might fire me,” I counter.

  “Not likely.” He chuckles. “How long ’til you get here?”

  “I don’t know, maybe ten minutes.”

  “You coming home with me tonight?” His voice lowers.

  “I would, but I think my brother might start to get a little suspicious if I keep not coming home.”

  “Well soon enough you’ll have your own place, and it won’t matter.”

  “Thank goodness.”

  “Well if you’re not coming home with me, then I guess I’ll just have to take you in the storage room and get my fix before you leave.”

  “So romantic.” I sigh dramatically.

  “You weren’t complaining last time,” he reminds me.

  “I’m not complaining this time,” I tell him.

  “There’s my girl.” He laughs. “See you in a few.”

  “See you then.” I shake my head before quickly ending the call.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Miles

  “You going to get that?” I ask Harlow as her phone buzzes on the desk next to her.

  “Yeah, I just have to enter this one thing.” She types something out on the computer and punches the enter key. “There, all done.” She lets out a sigh of relief.

  I’ve been sitting here watching her work for the last hour, my sketch pad in my lap. I’m supposed to be working on a design for one of my clients, but instead, I’ve been sketching Harlow’s face. I can’t help it; she’s just so damn beautiful. How could I not want to put that down on paper?

  Harlow’s entire demeanor shifts when she turns her attention to her phone. She hesitates for less than a second before picking it up and answering.

  I watch ten different emotions pass over her face before a slow smile forms on her lips.

  “Are you serious?” she practically squeals into the phone. “Oh my god, Monica. I can’t thank you enough for this.”

  She pauses, presumably listening to whatever the other person is saying.

  “Uh huh. Yep. I got it.” Another pause. “Okay. I will. Thank you so much.” She ends the call and breaks into a loud squeal seconds before jumping to her feet. “He signed!” she announces excitedly.

  “Huh?” I question, having yet to catch up.

  “Alan. He signed the papers!”

  “That’s amazing!” I stand just in time for her to propel herself into my arms.

  “I can’t believe it.” She squeezes me tightly, her face going into the crook of my neck as I lift her from the ground.

  I hold her for a long moment before slowly lowering her back to her feet.

  “So what happens now?” I ask, keeping my hands on her shoulders.

  “Monica will file the paperwork with the courts, and it should be final within the next month or so.” She bounces up and down on the balls of her feet.

  “Wow. That’s fast.”

  “Since I didn’t ask for anything, all we had to do was sign paperwork saying we agreed on everything. The only real problem was getting him to sign. But now that he has it should be smooth sailing,” she rattles off, a little out of breath. “I can’t believe I’m finally going to be free.”

  “We should celeb
rate,” I offer, feeling about as relieved as she looks. I knew how heavy this was weighing on her and I’m glad that fucktard of an ex-husband wised up and signed. Otherwise, I may have had to pay him a little visit in Arizona – something I’ve considered more than once.

  “Not yet.” She steps back. “I don’t want to jinx it.”

  “When it’s final then?”

  “When it’s final,” she agrees, her smile wider than I think I’ve ever seen it.

  “It’s a date,” I tell her, pulling her back into my arms. “Are you sure I can’t convince you to come home with me tonight?” I try again, hoping to capitalize on her good news.

  “I really shouldn’t.” She looks up at me, laughing when I pout out my lower lip.

  “Please,” I playfully beg.

  “You’re awful.” She shakes her head, her gaze going behind me seconds before she jumps out of my embrace. “Hey, what are you doing here?” I turn just in time to see Winston slide into the office.

  “I have an appointment.” His gaze slides to me.

  “Fuck, is it six o’clock already?” I glance down at my watch, not sure how the hell time got so far away from me.

  He nods. “What’s going on in here?” he asks, his gaze jumping between his sister and me.

  “Alan signed the papers,” she squeals.

  “Holy shit. That’s amazing, Low!” Winston instantly pulls his sister into a hug.

  “Thank you.” She pulls back, her earlier smile returning. “So what are you having done today?”

  “Not me. Stella.”

  “Stella’s getting a tattoo?” Harlow seems a little surprised.

  “She has four already,” he tells her, chuckling softly.

  “She does?”

  “Yep, and this guy has done every single one of them.” He hitches his thumb toward me. “Unlike me, she actually makes an appointment and waits months to get in.”

  “She does it the right way,” I take a playful shot at Winston.

  “I take it these tattoos aren’t visible?” Harlow interjects. “There’s no way I didn’t notice she has tattoos.”

  “Shoulder, hip, lower back, and the inside of her ankle. All the places you wouldn’t really notice unless she was in a bathing suit or something,” I explain.

  “Where is she getting this one?”

  “On her foot,” Winston answers Harlow’s question.

  “Oh, that’s awesome. I was thinking about doing my foot next.”

  “You were?” I ask. “You know the foot is one of the most painful places to get ink, right?”

  “So? I think I can take it.” She squares her shoulders, her hands going to her hips.

  “I tell you what. You hang around, and when I’m finished with Stella, I’ll tat your foot.”

  “Seriously?” She arches a brow.

  “Seriously.” I grin.

  “This is fucking weird,” Winston grumbles pulling both of our gazes back to him.

  “What is?” Harlow asks first.

  “This.” He gestures between the two of us. “Seeing you two all buddy-buddy. I’m used to playing the middleman to keep you guys from killing each other. It’s just weird.”

  “Would you like us to go back to hating each other?” I ask jokingly.

  “Nah, I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. Just different is all.”

  “Come on, man.” I clasp him on the shoulder. “Let’s get this woman of yours inked.”

  “You coming, Harlow? I’m sure Stella would much rather gossip with you than have to listen to Miles and me.” Winston turns toward his sister.

  “I don’t gossip.” She crosses her arms in front of her chest dramatically.

  “Yeah. Okay.” He chuckles. “You coming or what?”

  “I’ve got a few things to finish here first. I’ll pop in when I’m done,” she tells Winston before her eyes come to me. “What room are you going to be in?”

  “Probably B. I’m pretty certain that one’s open for the night.”

  “Okay.” She nods, quickly turning and walking around the office desk.

  I throw her one last glance before following Winston out of the office.

  ——

  “How bad is it?” Harlow leans forward, watching me fill in the green vine that extends down Stella’s foot.

  I glance in her direction and for a moment lose my breath. That’s what Harlow does to me. She takes my fucking breath away.

  I’ve always thought Stella was attractive. The perfect match for Winston. Tall and slender with long blonde hair and sky blue eyes. But next to Harlow she blends into the background. Harlow is like the sun. When you look directly at her, you are blind from seeing anything else when you look away.

  I expected for her to join us an hour ago, but clearly she was trying to make herself sparse. Don’t get me wrong. I get it. Neither of us are ready for Winston to find out about us. At least not until we know where this is going.

  I keep telling myself this is just another hookup and the fewer people that know, the better. But deep down even I know that’s not the case. I think maybe I’m just not quite ready to announce that to the world yet.

  “It’s pretty bad.” Stella cringes, pressing her head back into the chair.

  “It looks awesome though.” Harlow smiles.

  “It better for how painful it is.”

  “Maybe I should reconsider.” She looks down at me and then back up to Stella.

  “No, you’ll be fine. I’m just a huge baby.” Stella swipes her hand through the air.

  “It’s true,” I agree. “She’s complained this way with every tattoo I’ve done. You handled yours like a champ.”

  “Thanks, I think.” She switches her weight from one foot to the next. “Where’s my brother anyway?” She looks around the room, clearly just noticing he’s not here.

  “I made him go out and get me an iced caramel latte,” Stella informs her. “I’m in need of calories. All the calories.”

  “Women.” I chuckle to myself.

  “Hey, I heard that.” I can feel Stella’s glare on the side of my face, but I keep my eyes focused on what I’m doing.

  Over the last couple of years I have gotten to know Stella pretty well, and while she can be a bit over the top at times, I love her for Winston. But I think I love fucking with her even more. She’s really easy to rile up and poke fun at.

  “Good. I meant for you too.” I grin, dabbing the needle in more ink.

  The buzz of my gun once again fills the room and the conversation lulls for a long moment. Harlow takes a seat on the opposite side of Stella and watches me from a distance.

  Even though she’s too far away to reach out and touch, it’s the only thing I can think about doing. I can’t wait to get Stella done so I can move onto Harlow. There’s something about pressing the needle into her perfect skin that does something to me. With everyone else, it’s just part of my job, but with Harlow, I’m leaving my mark, permanently etching myself into her body. It’s a part of me she’ll never be able to get rid of, and I like knowing I’ll always be with her in that way.

  “Did you hear anything from the apartment complex?” I finally ask, glancing up at Harlow as I dab the needle in more ink.

  “No.” She frowns. “The guy did say that it would depend on how quickly my background check came back. He said sometimes it could be within an hour or two while others can take up to three days.”

  “You applied for an apartment?” Stella joins in on the conversation.

  “I did. Just a few blocks from here.” Harlow crosses one leg over the other as she gets comfortable. “I love my brother, but I’m dying to have my own place. Besides, maybe once I’m gone you can finally move in there.”

  “That would require your brother asking me to move in with him.” Stella rolls her eyes and huffs. “Besides, I think it would be him moving in with me. My apartment is way nicer.” She grins. “Don’t tell him I said that.”

  “Your secret is safe with me.” Har
low pats her forearm. “Maybe you should ask him to move in with you.”

  “I’ve thought about it, but I’m kinda old fashioned in that way. I think he needs to be the one to ask.”

  “I get that. But then again you know Winst, it takes him longer than most to catch up.”

  “Well, he better hurry up. Otherwise, I’m going to find someone who’s ready for the kind of commitment I’m looking for.”

  “I don’t think you’ll be waiting for that much longer,” Harlow reassures her. “I’ll be happy to give him an elbow to the ribs if you think he needs a nudge.” She grins.

  Harlow knows what I know, that Winston is planning on proposing to Stella. Or at least that’s the last I heard, but it’s not like either of us can say that to her.

  “Who needs a nudge?” Winston steps in the room, clearly catching the last part of the conversation.

  “Give me. Give me.” Stella reaches out for her cup, ignoring his question.

  “Give me a second, woman. I gotta figure out which one is yours.” He turns, setting the drink carrier on the counter that lines the back wall.

  I sit up, stretching out my back for a moment allowing Stella to move around for a second.

  “Here.” Winston steps up next to the chair and slides her cup into her hand before dropping a quick kiss to the top of her head. “Got you a regular coffee, man. Figured you could use the caffeine,” he says, turning toward me.

  “I appreciate that.” I nod, taking a quick drink of the hot liquid as soon as it’s in my hand.

  “And for you.” He turns back and grabs another cup out of the carrier before pivoting toward Harlow. “I wasn’t sure what you drink these days, but I know this used to be your favorite.”

  “A non-fat vanilla latte with extra foam?” She grins up at her brother.

  “That’s what you like?” He looks momentarily confused. “Well hell, I thought you were the one who liked the Macchiato things.”

  “I’m just messing with you.” Harlow laughs, taking the cup from her brother.

  “Lord, you’re as bad as Stella.” He shakes his head. “These women, dude.” He looks at me and grumbles.

  “I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that,” Stella interjects, biting on the straw sticking out of her whipped cream covered drink.

 

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